by Angel Payne
“Ssshh.” The woman pressed her fingertips into his scalp. “Be still. Let the fears rest.”
“I know how to be still,” he growled.
“No.” Humor danced across her face. “You do not.” She leveled her face with his, and for a long moment, her eyes widened as if a miracle had restored her sight. “Outside, you are a windless ocean, but inside, you keep running, fighting. You have declared war against your own beauty, and the unique truth of this moment. Why? There was a time that you didn’t fight destiny. That you believed in magic. The time has come for you to believe again, warrior. And you can. You are safe here.”
He clenched his jaw until it ached. Battled to pull away from her. He had to escape before it was too late and she took him into canyons of his soul he’d vowed never to visit again.
You are safe.
No. That was something he guaranteed for others. A net he assured for submissives. It was a luxury he couldn’t afford to indulge—and this encounter, now eerie and bizarre, was vivid proof.
“Damn.” Kell’s voice was gruff with new solemnity. “She really does see you, man.”
“Shut up.” His lungs pummeled the crap out of every breath he took. His mind sizzled and his pores awakened, sensations he hadn’t felt since the morning they’d called from the hospital to tell him Luna had awakened from her coma. Three days later, every angel that had lifted him was all too eager to jump to the dark side, dragging him to a grieving hell.
He had to escape. Had to shake this woman’s eyes and words and fingers. Why couldn’t he move? She barely touched him, yet her face held an intensity that bewitched him, a tenderness that humbled him. He’d seen expressions like it before, on the faces of the wives and mothers who greeted the boys at the base, returning from their deployments. But when a guy worked Spec Ops, he often arrived home like he’d left: in subterfuge and silence. Didn’t matter much in his case, anyhow. If they threw him a parade down the center of town and dumped five tons of confetti on it, Mom wasn’t coming out of hiding, and Luna wasn’t rising from the grave.
This is insane. Kellan was right. Where are the phantom mask and cat costume?
“So lost. So confused. So afraid.” The creases in the woman’s face deepened as she kept exploring him, though she released one of her hands to reach again to Lani. “This was exactly how you looked that day, my dear.”
Lani followed her lead and lowered next to him. “I imagine I did,” she murmured. “I thought I was going a little insane.”
As if he wasn’t in enough torment, Lani pressed one of her hands around his. Tait jerked but she held fast. Fucking great. Fate’s torture chamber of an afternoon was more fun by the minute.
He gave up staying balanced on his haunches and dropped fully to his knees. They hit the ground hard, making the moisture from last night’s rain seep through his pants. “I’m not insane,” he snarled.
The old woman laughed. “But why not?” She persisted with her fingers against his head. “‘Breaking down’ is simply breaking free, my friend.”
Lani laughed. Not just a giggle, but a full and melodic laugh. As Tait gave her the only reaction he could summon, a stunned gawk, she declared, “Yes. That’s it. That was what I felt that day. It was like a mountain had collapsed on top of me. I was trapped, and had no idea how to move the damn thing. And then I arrived here…”
“And you walked down by the water,” the woman filled in. She closed her eyes again, finally freeing Tait from the stare that saw nothing and everything.
Lani’s laugh faded, though the enchantment on her face remained. “Yeah,” she rasped, “I did.”
“And what of the mountain on your soul?” the woman prompted.
Lani swallowed hard. She let her gaze trail toward the river, but that meant including Tait in its path. Before she spoke, she looked back to him. “It was lifted. Completely.”
She spoke only four words. Followed them with the equally simple beauty of her stare. Then why did the moment feel like so much more? Why was there a downpour in Tait’s spirit that started with the silver salvation of her tears? And why did his three words of response feel like opening a gate that would turn the torrent into a flood?
“Lifted by what?”
His answer came from the old woman. “Not what,” she whispered. “Who.”
Lani blinked at her. Her face was a sunlit portrait of awe. Her fingers twisted harder against his. “Yes,” she rasped. “You’re right.”
Kellan grunted. “I’m glad to hear that, sweetheart, because I’m in the wilderness without a compass here.”
“Me, too.” Tait peered more intently at both women. If Lani had come here seeking answers that day, and one of the monks or fellow worshippers had helped her, that was awesome—but certainly not a cause for acting like she’d been visited by an angel. “What are you trying to say? She’s right about what?”
The woman dipped her head toward Lani. “Tell him, dear one. Tell him about the voice you heard. The voice that belonged to the energy that I saw.”
As her voice again turned each word into poetry, it also transformed the hairs on his neck into spikes that could cut diamonds.
Visited…by an angel.
On a Wednesday.
Six months ago.
Suddenly, he longed to be anywhere but here. Just as suddenly, he knew if the whole hill caught on fire, he wasn’t going anywhere.
Chapter Seventeen
Lani slammed her eyes shut. Tears soaked her lashes then tumbled down her cheeks. She heard Tait’s breath freeze in his throat and was certain hers did the same thing. She’d never told anyone about those bizarre moments on the river bank during that day filled with so much loss, anger and confusion. It had been so easy to write the experience off to the power of her emotions, mingled with the transformative magic of the monastery.
This special woman, with her all-seeing soul, had shown her otherwise. Beseeched her otherwise. Called the truth out of her soul again.
She had to obey.
“I thought I was going crazy.” Her voice was barely a crack on the air, though the wind held its breath in consideration. “At the same time, it was the most wonderful crazy in the world.”
Tait squeezed her fingers again. “I understand,” he whispered. “I do.” More tears stung her eyes, filled with gratitude for his thick, sincere words.
“I thought it was just a trick of the wind at first, that maybe I overheard somebody else’s conversation. But—but she repeated herself until I listened.”
She heard Tait’s rough gulp. “A little husky?” he asked. “And a lot bossy?”
As she giggled, the salt of her tears tickled her lips. “Yes. Exactly.”
“Shit.” The astounded blurt came from Kellan. “Holy. Fucking. Shit.”
Tait cupped his hand to the side of her face. “What did she say, Lani? It’s okay. Please tell me.”
She gave him a shaky nod. “‘Don’t give up, goddess.’ That was all it was…at first.” She smiled a little. “It took a few minutes to ditch the ‘tricky wind’ excuse and buy into the ‘I’m officially going crazy’ one. After that—”
Her mind chopped into her voice. Was she really about to do this? To say this? Suddenly, the bridge between remembering the moment and recounting it out loud was enormous and terrifying.
“Lani.” Kellan appeared again. He dropped to his knees alongside Tait, taking her other hand in the unshaking strength of his own. “T’s right. It’s okay. We’re both right here. Let it out, sweetheart.”
She wound her fingers just as tight through his. It didn’t help her careening balance or erratic heartbeat, but she finally sucked up enough courage to give a what-the-fuck to her qualms. So what if the two of them wrote her off as a whacko after this? It wasn’t like she had to worry about running into them at the grocery store or seeing them at all in another week.
“She told me that life wasn’t always going to be so hard. That all the bullshit and the struggle were going to be worth
it. That sometimes, walking through fire is good, because it strips your spirit to be replanted with better things. Then she said—” Another stupid cry burst out. Shit! Why was she giving this such importance? It wasn’t like they would, despite their comforting touches. “She said that those new things were coming soon. That they were both being prepared for me.”
The guys went still, palpably considering her statement. Even lost in the whirl of her memory, she could discern how the words must be hitting them. They were both being prepared for me. Crap. Could it have sounded any more Biblical and pretentious? Yet neither of them snickered. Neither of them moved.
The silence stretched on. It was broken by the blind woman’s prod. “And what did she say then? The last of her message?”
Lani looked up and winced. “You heard that part, too?” She returned the woman’s nod with a shrug that edged on embarrassed. “I’m not sure that part was real. I mean, it sounded like a joke.” Were stress-induced head voices from on high even allowed to have a sense of humor? “I think I just overheard it from other people walking in the garden.”
The woman turned, undeterred. “Just tell them what she said, dear one.”
Lani opened her eyes. She pulled her hands free in order to swipe at her cheeks, an effort to hide her nervous laugh. “It was…stupid. I muttered something about how I really must have been crazy, with voices in my head so clearly not my own. And then she said—”
“What?” The prompt came from Tait when she interrupted herself with another huff.
“At first, I could’ve sworn she giggled. And then she said…‘Crazy is good, girlfriend. Don’t you know that the craziest witches snag the hottest wizards?’”
* * * * *
Ten minutes later, honestly wondering if her arm was being yanked out of its socket, she stumbled across the monastery’s parking lot in Tait’s wake, rushing three steps for every one of his urgent strides. Kellan had been following as rear sweep but jogged forward to unlock the jeep before opening the back seat door. She stifled an urge to laugh, undoubtedly to play cover for her dread. The two of them moved with military precision, meaning her confession about the “visit from the voice” had been an unknowing revelation of national security secrets, a hypnotic trigger to kill her, or solid proof for thinking her one almond away from the nuthouse.
No matter what, their goal was obvious. To get her out of here fast.
Had she really been awash in tranquility just a half hour ago, walking with them beneath the trees, feeling a little balanced about life again? Had she truly thought it a stroke of genius to come and let the magic of this place push destiny’s reset button for the three of them?
Way to go, mastermind. Look how well her “brilliance” had paid off. Prophecies from voices out of thin air, random Potter references, and now this fire drill ending to their field trip…yeah, some picture-perfect day.
The disaster’s lead-in had been no less weird. As long as she lived, she’d never forget the moments immediately after her bizarre gut spill. She’d pre-written a script filled with nervousness and discomfort from both of them, but instead received a pair of unblinking stares, filled with tangible intensity. After that, they’d taken a pair of long breaths, Kellan pushing his out while Tait pulled his in. They were in complete sync—about honestly believing her.
The icing on their astonishing cake was delivered by Tait, who raked her with a gaze that made her wonder if she’d sprouted horns or wings or both. Still, she hadn’t been able to turn away. His eyes. Gods, his eyes. Their golden fires contained both Hell and Heaven, searing her to the core with their depths of pain but blazing to her soul with the strength of their hope.
Her confession had unraveled him. In return, he’d done the same to her.
She’d been so consumed by his gaze, she barely noticed when he pulled her back up and started dragging her back to the car. The realization was astounding, considering the pace he set. That was when her confusion hit, pounding harder with every step they took, until now. Lani planted her feet, hesitant to climb into her own damn car with the man.
“Hokulani.” Though his eyes still tore into her like spiritual blow torches, the rest of his face was locked in tension. “Get in the car.”
Instinctively, she stepped back—only to collide with the brick wall of Kellan’s chest. “It’s all right, starshine.” His voice was steady, strong, and warm in her ear. “It’s going to be okay. It’s not our intent to freak you out any further—”
“I’m not freaked out!”
“You’re shaking like a soaked kitten.” His hands on her waist, as solid as his voice, proved his point with maddening clarity.
“Fine,” she spat. “D-do you blame me?”
“Blame you? Sweetheart, we understand you.”
“Huh?” She jerked her gaze up at Tait, which deepened her confusion. He was wrapped in more layers of strain than before, his chest taut, his shoulders coiled, his legs braced. “Okay,” she snapped, frantically trying to blink back tears, “I’m glad someone ‘understands,’ because I sure as hell still don’t.”
Damn it. How had things gone so sideways? Three hours ago, swore to wean herself from these two. Now she was the filling in their hard-bodied soldier sandwich, wondering why she couldn’t turn off her body’s hot reaction to them, while her mind screamed orders to beat them away.
Kellan grunted. “I’m really fucking this up.”
Tait rolled his eyes. “Because you think ‘feelings’ and ‘talking’ shouldn’t be in the same sentence.”
“Working on it, ass munch.”
Surprisingly, Tait threw out a crooked smile. “I know, man.” He turned the expression down to her. “Just like I’ve been digging up more of my own shit lately, too—and ‘working on it.’” He raised his hands to her shoulders, pulling her a little closer with gentle command. “Amazing what a couple of stubborn dick-smacks will do when they have the proper motivation.”
Heat rushed up her face. Lovely. Like she needed to feel like a sixteen year-old being flirted out of her panties, on top of everything else her senses had been through today. “I just thought we could all come here for clarity,” she admitted. “And now…” She dropped her head. “That’s sure as hell not the case.”
Tait ran a reassuring hand to her nape. “Clarity? About what?”
“What do you mean, about what?” She jerked her head up, including Kellan in the scope of her scowl, as well. “About this. Us. Whatever it is. About both of you—and making sure that I don’t get attached to it.” She couldn’t hide a small wince. “To either of you.”
Once again, their reaction didn’t throw her for a loop. It tossed her for two or three. Their chuckles came as a shock yet a reassurance. “Did you hear that, T? She doesn’t want to get too attached.”
Tait skimmed his fingers to the side of her face. His gaze, capturing hers in its direct beam again, was more molten and brilliant than it’d been in the garden. “Too late, dreamgirl,” he whispered. “It’s so completely too late. If you don’t believe me, ask the crazy witch who visited your head.”
His profession incited a wave of reactions. First, she laughed. He made everything sound so easy, so normal. After that, a sigh emerged. He did all that while channeling the beauty of an angel, the sun glinting in his hair and etching every bold line of his face. Finally, she swallowed on a throat thick with elation and gratitude before rasping, “Then you don’t think my mind is grilled cheese?”
Tait’s stare dipped across her face. A heavy, hungry intent defined his gaze. Lani held her breath, horrified he was about to kiss her right here…knowing she’d die if he didn’t.
It was time to die.
He halted his lips less than an inch above hers. “Goddamn, could I go for some grilled cheese right now.”
“Hmm.” Kellan’s voice brushed her ear at the same teasing proximity. “Isn’t that a coincidence? Me, too.”
“Hop in the car, babe, and we’ll show you how much.”
It was suddenly the easiest feat in the world to follow Tait into the back seat of the jeep. And the hardest. As Kellan gunned the car’s engine to life then sped them back toward Kuamoˋo Road, effectively toppling her into Tait’s lap, that internal skirmish worsened. As she’d hoped—and dreaded—the man didn’t let her scramble back to her seat. With commanding sweeps of movement, he had her straddling his lap before Kellan made the left turn that marked their official exit from the monastery.
“Sergeant Bommer.” It was a bitch to summon an incensed tone, especially as the man cupped both sides of her ass to seat her more fully against the apex of his body. As he did, she instantly felt his cock surging for her, pounding against his pants. “Listen to me! We have a seatbelt law in this state, and if you think that just because we’re out in the middle of—”
The fast thwick of the seatbelt, yanked out by him then clicked into its holster, cut her short. She gasped as the belt retracted a little, locking into its new position—across her back. He’d belted both of them in. At once.
“There.” He curled an utterly roguish grin. “Now we’re law-abiding citizens.”
Gods. She really felt like grilled cheese now. The warmth of his eyes, the slow burn of his smile, and now the hot ribbons of his fingers, up the center of her ass and along her spine, turned her into compliant goo in his arms. The scenery sped by in reverse as she spread her hands along his broad shoulders, desperately fighting for any logic she had left. “I guess you want me to thank you now?”
The sarcasm drifted from Tait’s lips. He slowly shook his head. “No, dreamgirl. This is the part where I thank you.”
Logic, say buh-bye. The rest of the world joined the exodus from her senses as he wound a hand against the back of her head and dragged her mouth against his.
Lani sighed, joyous from the instant explosion of him. There was no melodrama about the comparison. He breached her with brutal passion, filling her at once with his tongue, his taste, his heat. His growl detonated through her body, a perfect companion to the wild, tangled jungle that sped past the windows. She returned his eruption with a high-pitched moan, though she heard the sound as if someone else made it, another creature camped out in her body, made of pure, wanton desire.