I stopped dead in my tracks, unable to move.
Of all the people to see me coming back to the room, Judith was the last one I would have chosen.
“I had to go to the bathroom,” I said softly, my heart racing.
“How did you get the door open? You’ve been gone for a long time,” she said. “I was scared.”
I tried to relax my shoulders and act as if it was nothing important. Certainly nothing worth telling the nurses.
“I guess the nurse forgot to lock the door,” I said. “I didn’t mean to be gone so long, but it was dark out there. I couldn’t find my way back.”
“We’re not supposed to leave the room,” she said. Her hands gripped her sheets so tightly her knuckles turned white. “You could get us all in trouble for doing something like that. What if the nurse had come to check on us?”
“I really had to go,” I said. The fact that we were shut in our rooms and not even allowed to go to the bathroom whenever we wanted was bad enough. Couldn’t she see that?
“You shouldn’t have done that, Harper,” she said.
“You’re not going to tell anyone, right?” I said, biting my lip. “No one saw me. I just had to go to the bathroom.”
But I could see it written on her face. Her fear. Her anger. She wanted to get back at me for yelling at her earlier at dinner. She was going to tell someone, and I had no idea how to stop her.
“If you tell on me, it will get all of us in trouble,” I said. “Even you. I won’t do it again.”
Even though I knew I would if I saw the shadow again. I had no choice. I needed answers and all the therapy in the world wasn’t going to give them to me.
“Judith, don’t tell anyone,” I said. “Or I’ll tell them you went with me.”
I hated to threaten her like that, but I needed Judith to be scared. I needed her to keep her mouth shut. My life depended on it.
“You can’t do that,” she said. “It’s not the truth.”
I crawled under the covers on my bed, needing to warm myself. My feet were still ice-cold from the basement floors. I wanted to get some rest so I could make sense of what happened tonight.
I rolled over so I was facing Judith, our eyes meeting in the dark room.
“You’ve been here a lot longer than I have,” I said. “I would have thought you’d have figured it out before me.”
“Figured what out?” she asked. Her hands trembled.
I closed my eyes. I was on the edge of sleep, unable to worry about Judith or Brooke or anything else. I was so tired of it all. Tired of fighting to remember who I was. Tired of wanting to feel like the world made sense.
I pulled the blankets around my body and curled into a ball, shivering against the cold that still clung to my bones.
“Figured what out, Harper?” she asked again.
My eyes opened, and I looked at her. She seemed younger in the dark. Maybe only twelve or thirteen years old, if I had to guess. I wondered again what she must have done to get locked away like this.
“That the truth doesn’t mean anything here,” I said, thinking of Brooke and Jackson and how the doctor had told me that if I was a good girl, someday they would set me free. “Sometimes the truth is the worst lie of all.”
Definitely Not The Library
Being in the castle again was harder than I expected it to be.
In the human world, I’d become used to spending my days however I damn well pleased. Here, though, even eating breakfast was an event. Every step I took was watched by at least five people who’d been told to either anticipate my needs or report my movements to the king.
If I so much as sneezed, three servants were there to hand me a tissue.
Anastia—who was still for some reason acting as my custodian—had told me to keep to my chambers as often as possible. She hadn’t given me a reason why, but if I had to guess it was so I wouldn’t have a chance to talk to the other demons I came across in the castle. They most certainly didn’t want me wandering outside the castle gates and into the main city.
Maybe they were afraid I’d start telling people about what was really happening outside the walls. No one was allowed in, but no one was allowed out, either. None of the demons living here had seen the ruined and deserted villages that now made up the majority of the Northern Kingdom. There were rumors, sure, but until they’d seen it with their own eyes, they couldn’t understand the destruction.
From the luncheons I’d been forced to attend, I’d noticed that most of the city’s residents seemed to believe the rumors were a bunch of inflated nonsense. Talk about practicing holding my tongue.
So I was told to stay in my room.
Which was exactly why I kept leaving it. I could play the part of the subservient loyal princess only so long before I started to lose my freaking mind.
Besides, as long as my father was on my side, Anastia couldn’t touch me.
“I’m going to walk the halls,” I announced to my room full of handmaidens. “I don’t suppose you’ll let me go alone this time?”
“My lady,” Presha said with a curtsy. “We wouldn’t dare leave your side.”
“I figured as much,” I muttered.
I spun on my heel and walked toward the doors of my outer rooms. Footsteps shuffled behind my back as the servants gathered into a group to follow me.
I sighed and pushed open the heavy double doors. I had no idea where I was going. I just wanted to walk. With no television or video game consoles, the Shadow World was not a fun place to be stuck in the same room for hours on end. Anything was better than the dungeons, but I’d spent enough time as a prisoner to last my whole life. I needed to move.
I walked quickly, making turns without a thought as to where I was headed. I simply let my feet lead me. I remembered roaming these halls a lot as a shadowling, anxious to study the inner workings of the castle. I used to spend time visiting the kitchens and the laundry rooms with their warm air and sharp smells. I’d searched for hidden passageways and gardens. I used to know this place as well as I knew myself.
For the past several days, I’d been exploring again, rediscovering the beauty of this ancient place. I’d been trying to find the library, hoping maybe I could find something there that the Resistance didn’t have in the Underground library. Something that could give us information about the Order of Shadows. If anyone asked, I’d say I was studying my family history or something.
I was pretty sure the library was down this hallway and to the left, but when I stepped through the door, sunlight fell across my face. I looked up, laughing. This was definitely not the library.
I closed my eyes and took a moment to enjoy the feeling of the suns on my skin. It was different than the sunlight in the human world where they only had one sun and one moon. Today there were four suns visible from where I stood in the small courtyard, each giving off a different sensation. All at once, it felt as if my skin was humming and sparkling, the light literally dancing across my skin.
“I almost forgot how beautiful you could be when you are happy.”
My eyes snapped open and my knees buckled slightly. I played it off as a curtsy, lowering my head and placing my hand across my head. “My queen.”
“You don’t have to be so formal with me,” she said. “Please, stand up straight and come walk with me.”
I straightened and stared at her outstretched hand.
I hadn’t spoken to my mother in a very long time, and yet she was acting like I’d just seen her yesterday. Truthfully, we’d never been close, even when I was younger. She’d always seemed disappointed that I was more interested in sparring with the twins than learning how to dance like a lady.
“Of course,” I said, placing my hand in hers.
She led me around the edges of the courtyard while my handmaidens waited near the door like soldiers. For a long while she didn’t say a word except to point out how nice the fire-blossoms were growing this year or how tall the spindle trees were getting.
After one full turn around the garden, she finally said something more personal.
“How have you been getting on?” she asked. “Do you have everything you need?”
I wanted to say that as long as Aerden was still locked away in the dungeons, I couldn’t care less about what I needed.
“I’m happy to be home,” I said, hoping my lie was convincing enough. “I have much more than I deserve.”
“You deserve the world as long as you are here with us,” she said. “As long as you are truly our daughter again.”
As if it were something I could turn on and off like a light switch. I guessed I was only their daughter when I was doing what they wanted. Disobey and off goes the light.
“I am,” I said. “It’s good to see you again, Mother.”
“When they brought you back to us, and I saw you dressed in those human clothes, it nearly broke my heart,” she said. She lifted a hand to her chest and shook her head. “I was afraid you were truly lost to us forever.”
“They were just clothes,” I said.
“No.” She stopped and faced me. “No, Lazalea, they were not just clothes. They were a symbol of everything you had become. A traitor, more worried about the welfare of humans than your own people.”
“There are more than just humans trapped in that world, Mother. There are demons, too. Demons from the Northern Kingdom. Thousands of them, all prisoners of the Order of Shadows.” I couldn’t stop myself. I wasn’t good at this subservient crap. It would be a miracle if I survived this whole thing.
“Shhh,” she said. “Don’t speak of those witches in my presence. I can’t stomach the thought of them.”
She talked about the Order as if they were a bad burrito she’d had once, rather than a coven of witches who’d stolen hundreds of thousands of innocent lives. Was she really this blind? Or was she just incredibly selfish?
“I’m sorry,” I said, swallowing down the words I wanted to say. “What would you like to talk about?”
She smiled and looped her arm in mine. “Have you heard the good news?”
My eyes widened and my heart flipped over. Were they going to free Aerden? Has Harper been found?
“Your father has decided to throw a festival in honor of your return,” she said, her face beaming. “It will last an entire moon cycle.”
“I hadn’t heard,” I said. “That will be lovely.”
Inside, I cringed. Not just at the thought of the festival, but about the fact that I had actually just used the word lovely in a sentence.
“I’ve already talked to the seamstress, and she’s preparing your gowns as we speak,” she said. “We only have a few moons to prepare, but the king has appointed a special council to arrange the event. There will be dinners and performances here in the castle. A grand ball in the throne room, which we haven’t had in ages. He’s even decided to bring back the King’s Games for the occasion.”
My foot faltered, and I stumbled.
“Oh dear, are you alright?” she asked.
“I’m fine,” I said, but I was scared and angry.
The games were barbaric and cruel, pitting prisoners against one another in a battle to the death in the arena while spectators watched and placed bets on who would win and who would die. Each round was over when one of the fighters had been brought to within an inch of his life. At that point, he was healed by the court shaman, only then to be asked to voluntarily pour his life-force into a stone in the king’s crown.
Even though it was supposed to be a voluntary gift, the prisoner had no choice but to either sacrifice his life or be killed by the guards.
My father’s grandfather had outlawed the games, declaring them a cruel and ancient tradition that had no place in the modern world. I, of course, had never been alive to witness them, but I’d heard and read about them many times when I was younger.
“I thought the King’s Games were outlawed three generations ago,” I said, trying to somehow sound cheery about the whole thing.
“It’s something Kael suggested.” She kept walking forward, and I had to force my feet forward, taking care with each step. “I think it’s a wonderful idea, don’t you? We can truly celebrate the return of our princess.”
I paused at the sound of a foreign name. “Who is Kael?”
She smiled. “You’ll meet him soon,” she said. “He’s a member of the Council, and he’s become one of your father’s most trusted advisors over the past few decades.”
My heartbeat quickened. A new advisor? Was he the one turning my father’s mind to evil? If he’d suggested the King’s Games, this Kael had to be trouble.
The idea of a huge crowd cheering as two demon prisoners fought to the death as a form of entertainment turned my stomach. He was doing this in my honor? Or to test my loyalty to the crown above all others?
And then I remembered just who was being held prisoner in the king’s dungeons.
My knees buckled, and I reached out to the stone wall to steady myself, letting go of my mother’s hand.
“Lazalea, what’s wrong?” she asked, touching my forehead. “Presha, call for the shaman.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I think I’ve done too much walking for one afternoon. I’m still weak from my time in the dungeons, and I shouldn’t have pushed myself so hard.”
I didn’t want to admit why I’d really collapsed, but my mind was spinning at the thought. I had to get Aerden out of there. If they’d set me free, why were they still holding him prisoner? Of all of us, he was the one who deserved freedom and respect the most.
“Here, sit down,” my mother said, leading me to one of the benches near a mossberry bush. “You look pale, sweetheart. Take a deep breath.”
“I think I should get back to my chambers,” I said. “I just need to rest for a while.”
“Of course,” she said. When the shaman appeared a minute later, my mother whispered something in her ear and the woman nodded. “Lisette will take you back to your room and give you some healing herbs to help you sleep. If I had realized you weren’t feeling well, I would have never walked you around this courtyard for so long.”
“It was nice to spend time with you,” I said. “Hopefully we can do it again when I’m rested.”
My mother patted my arm and left me alone with the shaman.
“Drink this,” Lisette said. “It will help to calm your nerves.”
“I’m fine,” I said, waving away the small glass bottle in her hand. “Really, I just need to rest.”
“Drink,” she said, tipping the bottle toward my mouth.
Reluctantly, I opened my lips and drank the sweet potion. Instantly, my eyelids felt heavy, and I wasn’t sure I could stand even if I tried.
I had the sensation of being weightless as Lisette took my hand and shifted to shadow, carrying me through the castle to my chambers. She placed me on my bed and pulled the curtains around it so that almost no light shone through.
When she returned a few minutes later, I could barely hold my eyes open. She placed a soft cloth across my forehead that smelled of herbs and flowers. It cooled my skin and tingled a little, and I remembered the sensation from when I was small.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Anything for the demon who helped to set my daughter free,” she whispered. “I owe you my life, warrior.”
I stared up at her, surprised to see tears shining in her lavender eyes.
I wanted to ask her more about her daughter, but sleep tugged on me, drawing me down into its darkness.
“Sleep,” she said softly, caressing my hand. “I will stay by your side until you wake.”
I couldn’t resist it any longer, and my last thought before I passed out was of the cold, dark dungeons and the demon who had been a prisoner for far too long.
Not Alone
Trention kept my secret, and in return, I helped him in the sapphire fields when the guards weren’t looking. In the evenings, when most of the other demons had gone to sleep, he often came to
sit by my side.
At first, we talked about the stories I remembered from my childhood and shared the things we missed most about our lives when we had been free. Lately, though, he’d been asking a lot of questions about my time in the human world.
As I grew to trust the old demon, I told him everything I knew about the Order and how Harper and the others had defeated the sapphire priestess.
“For ages, we have been told there was no way to stop what the Order was doing here,” he said when he came to sit down late one night. “How did a human girl figure it out? It’s remarkable.”
“She’s half-demon, too,” I said, smiling.
“Yes, yes, of course,” he said. “But still, she’s so young compared to most. Barely more than a child, really.”
“She is remarkable,” I said, my voice tinged with sadness. The last I’d heard of Harper was that she’d been taken by the emerald priestess. She’d managed to save my brother and sister, but had somehow been captured in the process. Ezrah told me that no one knew where she was or if she was still alive.
But I knew she was alive. The bond that had held me to her family for so long still lingered somewhere inside me, and I could feel the beating of her heart. It was faint, but clear. She’d been through something terrible recently. Torture so horrific it was amazing she’d survived. But Harper was stronger than most people gave her credit for.
She was fighting, and I wanted to be out there looking for her. I knew that Jackson would do everything he could to find her, but she was far away. I couldn’t explain it, but it was more than just the distance between the Shadow World and the human world. There was some other magic at play.
“You care for the girl,” Trention said.
“I was bound to protect her,” I said. “And without her, I would still be a slave to the Order, along with thousands of other demons.”
“You said she stole the heart of the priestess?” he asked.
I nodded. “For centuries, everyone believed that the priestess controlling each of the five colors of gates lived a normal human life-span of no more than seventy or eighty years at most,” I said. “When she died, we believed her demon passed to her eldest daughter, who then became Prima. That’s the way it works with all the gates, so it seemed logical that it was the same with the priestesses. But Harper discovered that each of the five priestesses had never died. They were the same exact witches who had first opened the original gates almost two hundred years ago.”
Forgotten Darkness Page 14