The Vincent Boys Collection
Page 12
“Shut up, Nicole.” The words hadn’t been Sawyer’s. Beau’s deeper voice had snapped out the order. Nicole giggled again and leaned forward to shake her braless boobs at Sawyer.
“You remember how much fun it was, don’t ya, Saw? We had lots of fun,” she slurred.
“Shut the hell up, Nicole.” Beau growled angrily, pushing her away from him. I should be hurt that my boyfriend wasn’t as inexperienced as I’d thought. The fact he’d been unable to keep his hands off Nicole and didn’t have any problem not touching me should bother me. It didn’t. All I felt was relief at seeing Beau pushing Nicole off him.
“What’s the matter? You don’t like hearing about how your cousin had me first? Hmm . . . don’t be jealous, baby. You’re the only one who’s getting in my pants tonight.” Nicole attempted to purr, but her slurring kind of made it sound more like she was moaning.
Sawyer moved from behind me and took my arm to pull me away. I felt Beau’s eyes on me, and I glanced back at him. In that moment I could see the Beau I’d thought loved me. As he pushed Nicole away absently, his eyes said he was sorry. Not once did he break eye contact with me as Sawyer led me into the pecan orchard. There was that pain in those eyes that had haunted my dreams. I gave him a sad smile before turning to follow my boyfriend into the shadows of the trees. The light from the fire disappeared as did the noise. The moon managed to peek through the branches, shedding enough light to keep us from walking into a tree or tripping over a fallen branch.
“Ash, I’m so sorry,” Sawyer said, pulling me into his arms once we got to his truck. “She’s a vile human being, and why I ever dated her I don’t know. I wish Beau would get rid of her.” He kissed the top of my head like I was a child he needed to comfort. I didn’t feel like crying. But I wanted to know why. For so long I had thought he was without sin and I was the one who needed to be tamed, but that hadn’t been true.
“Did you have sex with her, Sawyer?” I asked, staring up at him. The guilty expression on his face answered my question for me. He cupped the side of my face with his hand.
“Ash, it was a long time ago. She was my first girlfriend, and although she was pretty wild for a thirteen-year-old, we were still young. Of course we didn’t have sex,” he said.
“You obviously did something. You hardly touch me, yet it sounds like you did a lot more than kissing with Nicole.”
Sawyer frowned. He hadn’t been expecting me to voice my feelings. I normally assured him when he was upset. I never wanted to ruffle his feathers. Making life easy for Sawyer had been my mantra for so long. Well, that part of the charade I was living was long gone. No more patting him on the back.
“Ashton, I made some bad decisions with Nicole. She pushed me to do some things. I gave in. But you, you’re different. You’re good. It isn’t about sex with us.”
How could you be in love with someone and not want sex? We were human. He was a teenage boy, for crying out loud. He had hormones.
“Are you not attracted to me that way? I mean, I know I don’t have Nicole’s body and I won’t be winning any beauty contests, but if you love me, then I would think sex with me would appeal to you.”
Three weeks ago I wouldn’t have had the nerve to say these things. Being with Beau had changed me so much.
Sawyer’s expression was somewhere between shock and confusion.
“Ashton, I respect you. You deserve respect. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re not just some girl I’m filling my high school years with. I intend to marry you one day.”
Marry him? What? Really? Oh God.
He smiled at the shocked expression on my face. “I love you, Ashton. I intend to keep you forever. I’m very attracted to you. I just don’t want my future wife to lose her virginity in the bed of a truck.”
BEAU
This was bullshit. She wasn’t happy. I could see it all over her face. Hell, she’d been so damn stiff while Sawyer stood there holding her it was impossible not to notice. It had also driven me mad. I hated seeing her so uncomfortable. Then Nicole had opened her stupid mouth and upset her more. I wanted to believe that she deserved all this, but I couldn’t. Something was wrong. I’d been wrong not to question her when she’d come to me. My stupid pride had let her walk away. I’d fucked that up good.
“Stop being so mean,” Nicole said, leaning on my arm in an attempt to keep from falling on her face. I grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her down to sit on the tire behind us. She couldn’t stand up without support and I didn’t want to feel her hands on me. The look in Ash’s eyes when her gaze had met mine had made every place Nicole touched feel cheap and dirty. I wanted her away from me.
“What’s going on with you and Ash?” Kayla’s question snapped me out of my inner turmoil and I shifted my gaze to meet her curious one. Damn. Leave it to a female to see what no one else notices.
“Nothing is going on with me and Ash.”
She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Hmmm, whatever, Beau,” she replied before lifting her red Solo cup to her lips. The girl had always been nosy.
“Can you get Nic home?” I asked Ethan, stepping far enough away that she couldn’t paw at me.
Ethan shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. If she comes on to me are you gonna kick my ass tomorrow?”
“Nah, enjoy yourself.” He smirked and shook his head. I didn’t wait around to see what other stupid comments came out of his mouth.
I headed for my truck. Staying here was impossible. I’d only come because I’d known she would be here. Wanting to see her had been my sole purpose for putting up with Nicole and Sawyer. I missed her. I missed her so fucking much. After the sad smile and hopeful look in her eyes as she walked away I had a new sense of hope that maybe this wasn’t over. Maybe I still had a chance.
Chapter 13
ASHTON
The parking lot at the school was almost empty. Only a few parked cars remained. I recognized Sawyer’s truck, as well as Beau’s. They would both still be at practice. I’d put off going home for over an hour. Sawyer was in the weight room and he hadn’t responded to my last text. Going home wasn’t something I could handle just yet. My aunt Caroline and her daughter, Lana, had descended upon our house last night and were staying for an undetermined amount of time. Uncle Nolan had been caught doing things he shouldn’t with his secretary on top of the copy machine, and Aunt Caroline had fled their home in Georgia. We were the “only place she could think of,” and didn’t that make us lotto winners? Aunt Caroline cried and regaled anyone who would listen about what she’d found my uncle doing. Hearing it the first time was hard enough; I really didn’t want to keep suffering through the recaps. And having Lana invade my personal space was beyond frustrating. She was so polite and polished. I wanted to scream or possibly mess up her hair and slap her around until she showed some emotion.
Leann had left for college already, Sawyer was always busy with football, and Beau was acting like I didn’t exist. It was times like that when I felt so alone and lost I’d run to my Grana’s so she could make everything right again. Life was unfair.
“What did your car do wrong?”
Beau’s voice startled me. I spun around to find him only a few feet behind me, with his helmet and shoulder pads in one hand and the shirt he should be wearing in the other. Lordy, did he have to walk around shirtless? He shifted his gaze from my car to my face. I shuffled my feet nervously. We hadn’t been alone in sixteen—no, make that seventeen—days.
“You’ve been standing here glowering at your car for five minutes. I’m assuming it somehow offended you.”
Tears stung my eyes. Being this close to him and having him actually look at me and speak directly to me was wonderful and so incredibly painful.
“What’s wrong, Ash?”
Swallowing the lump in my throat didn’t help. I bit down on my bottom lip and shrugged. He stood there silently for a moment. I could see the indecision on his face. Finally he reached for my book bag and touched my waist.
&nbs
p; “Come with me. You can talk and I’ll listen.”
I didn’t argue. I wanted this. I needed him. I let him guide me to his truck and he opened the passenger door so I could climb in.
We didn’t speak at first. I worked on getting my emotions under control while he turned his truck down a familiar road I knew led to our spot on the bay.
“You wanna tell me what’s got you upset?” he asked.
He glanced at me for a second but quickly shifted his eyes back to the road. I wasn’t sure how to answer that question. A lot of things were wrong. I was with Sawyer, acting like someone I wasn’t, someone I’d realized I didn’t even like. School had started back, and Beau was there every day in the halls, in the cafeteria, and in my classrooms. I could see him and not touch him. It was killing me. Then, of course, my aunt Caroline and Lana were taking away the only refuge I had left: my house, my room.
“Come on, Ash, tell me what’s going on.”
“My uncle cheated on my aunt, and now my aunt and my cousin have moved into my house. Lana is in my room all the time. I have no privacy. My aunt is crying and retelling the awful story of how she caught him. There’s nowhere to hide. I just want to run off into the woods and scream.”
The soft chuckle from beside me, him laughing at my predicament, should have ticked me off, but I’d missed the sound so much it made me smile.
“Family can be a bitch,” he said a little somberly. I wondered if he was talking about Sawyer. Did he care I was with Sawyer? I couldn’t tell. I wanted to believe he was hiding his feelings from me, but it seemed very unlikely. He laughed and flirted with every pretty face at school just like he’d always done.
“So I found you standing a few feet away from your car, glaring at it like it had teeth and was going to bite you, because you didn’t want to go home?”
I thought about admitting I missed him, that I’d fought the urge daily to get in my car and ride down to the bar where he’d taken me to play pool, hoping to find him.
He patted the spot beside him, and I scooted over without hesitation. His hand found mine, and he squeezed it. For the first time since Sawyer had come home, I felt complete. Being with Beau made me believe everything would be okay, that the issues keeping us apart wouldn’t always matter, and everything would eventually turn out all right.
We pulled onto our piece of land overlooking the Mobile Bay. Everything seemed so different in the sunlight. He released my hand, and I started to scoot away, when his arm slid behind me to pull me closer to his side. I let out a contented sigh and rested my head in the crook of his arm. Neither of us spoke. We just sat there in silence and watched the sun set over the water.
My eyes began to droop and I smiled, thinking how easy everything was with him.
“Ash.” Beau’s breath tickled my ear. My eyes flew open, and it took me a moment to remember where I was. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I slowly sat up.
“I fell asleep,” I mumbled.
Beau chuckled. “Yeah you did.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Beau tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and flashed me the crooked smile that never failed to make my heart flutter.
“Don’t be. I can’t think of a better time I’ve had since . . . well, since . . .”
What did he mean by that? Since when? Since this summer when it’d been just us? Before he’d let me walk out of his trailer without an argument?
“I need to get you back. Sawyer’s texted your phone and called you several times. The last time he called, I figured it was time I woke you—even though I enjoyed having you sleep on me.”
My heart thumped against my chest. Hearing him say things like that to me gave me hope. Hope for what, I didn’t know. I’d been the one to decide it wasn’t worth it. He handed me my phone.
“Answer him. This is going to be hard enough to explain as it is.”
I read both texts from him asking me where I was at. He sounded concerned in his last one. The fact that my car was still in the school parking lot was bothering him.
Beau’s phone rang, and he glanced down at it and frowned. “It’s Sawyer.”
I reached for his phone. “Here, let me answer it. I might as well explain. Besides, we did nothing wrong.”
“Hello?”
“Ash? Where are you? Why’re you answering Beau’s phone? I’ve been trying to call you.”
“I’m sorry. I know. I was just about to call you. I’ve been asleep. Beau found me in the parking lot. I didn’t want to go home and face all the drama. He offered to listen to me rant some, and I ended up falling asleep. He let me sleep. But he’s bringing me back to my car now.”
Sawyer was quiet for a moment. I glanced over at Beau, who was watching me with an expression that reminded me of a lion that sensed danger and was getting ready to pounce.
“Okay, I’ll go wait for you at your car,” he finally replied.
I wasn’t sure what Sawyer was thinking by the tone of his voice. Normally, I could gauge his mood over the phone.
“I’ll see you in a little while then,” I said, and handed the phone back to Beau.
He closed it and nodded toward the passenger side of the truck.
“If he’s going to be waiting on us, you probably need to scoot over. I’m not sure he’d be that understanding.”
Beau cranked the truck and turned it back toward town. Reluctantly, I slid back over to the far side of the truck. Away from his warmth.
“Beau . . . thank you. I needed this. I needed, I needed . . . you.”
He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “Saying things like that to me makes this so damn hard. I’ll always be here for you. But don’t tell me you need me.”
“But I can’t help it. I do.”
“Damn it, Ash. I can’t listen to that. I can’t think about it. I can deal with denying myself what I need. What I want. But I can’t deny you.”
“You love Sawyer. He’s like your brother. Could you really hurt him that way? Could you really lose him over a girl? I don’t know if I could let you do it. One day you would resent me for coming between the two of you. You would never be able to love me. I would always be a reminder of how I was the reason you lost Sawyer.” I laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. There were so many reasons why I could never have Beau. And every time I voiced one, it ripped another hole in my heart.
“You’re right,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
Hearing him agree felt as if he’d just ran a sword through my chest. I bit back a sob and turned my head away from him.
Neither of us spoke again.
When he pulled into the parking spot beside my car, Sawyer was at the passenger side of Beau’s truck, immediately opening it and reaching for me.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’ve been so wrapped up in football that I’ve been ignoring you. You just lost Grana and now your relatives have invaded your house.” He pulled me into his arms and I let him hug me. Right now my chest ached so badly that I needed someone to hold me together. Even if that someone wasn’t Beau.
“Thank you, Beau. You were there for her when I wasn’t. I owe you one,” Sawyer said over my head. I didn’t look at Beau. I kept my face buried in Sawyer’s chest.
“You’re welcome,” he replied. Sawyer closed the truck door, and I listened as the tires crunched over the gravel: the sound of Beau driving off and leaving me here with Sawyer.
“Come back to my house with me. I’m grilling outside with Dad tonight and my parents would love to have you over,” Sawyer said, pulling back to gaze down at me. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no. Going home meant more Lana and more Aunt Caroline.
“Okay.”
Chapter 14
BEAU
“Hey, Beau.”
I turned around to see Kayla walking up beside me with a clipboard in her hands. The halls were packed with everyone stopping by their locker in between classes. This would be the time Kayla hunted me down to ask me a question. It w
as impossible to get away from her in this crowd. She gave me a flirty smile and licked her lips. Kayla was brave enough to speak to me only when Nicole was nowhere around.
“Kayla,” I replied, and kept walking, forcing her to jog a little to keep up with me. Normally clipboards and Kayla meant that the head cheerleader was going to try to rope you into something.
“You haven’t picked your spirit girl yet.”
That comment didn’t even rank a reply. I never picked my spirit girl. Someone always ended up doing it. Actually, I normally had several eager and willing volunteers at my locker on game day, begging to meet all my needs.
“I can put your name in the hat for one of the girls to draw your name or you can pick. The rest of the first string has picked already. So several of the girls have their two guys. If you want one of the top picks, you need to claim her now.”
Again, no reason to respond.
“Okay, well, here are the best or most popular picks who still have one opening left: Heather Kerr, Blair, Heidi, Noel, Heather Long, and Amy.”
Ashton stood beside her locker, trying to appear as if she wasn’t listening. I could see her watching me from the corner of her eyes. That caught my attention. The ache that had taken up residence in my chest these days squeezed, reminding me why it was there. Would this feeling ever go away? How long would seeing her hurt so bad?
“Oh, and Ashton, of course.” Kayla’s chipper tone finally said the one word I couldn’t drown out.
“What about Ashton?” I asked, tearing my gaze away from her to stare down at Kayla.
“She’s still available. No one has picked her, except Sawyer, of course. I don’t think anyone will. No one wants her because they know they won’t be getting any special treatment from her. All the special treatment she’ll be dishing out will be for Sawyer.”
“I want her.”
“You do? Really?”
“Yes.”
“But you know Noel has a thing for you, and I can promise she’ll meet all your needs—” Kayla started saying.