by Abbi Glines
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Sawyer lifted his head so he was looking in my direction, but I didn’t meet his gaze. I couldn’t.
“What?” he asked in a deep, husky voice I’d never heard him use.
Covering my face with my hands so he couldn’t see the tears welling up in my eyes, I replied, “I don’t know why I did that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”
Sawyer was in front of me, pulling my hands away from my face and forcing me to look at him. “You’re sorry? Lana, do you understand anything that just happened?”
I shrugged, then shook my head.
Sawyer let out a small laugh and reached to pull me onto his lap. “That was the single most incredible moment of my life. Don’t be sorry for it. Please,” he said in the same low, sexy tone he’d used before.
I studied him a moment. “But . . . I don’t understand.”
Sawyer leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose, then each of my eyelids. “Let me explain it to you then. I just had a beautiful girl trust me enough to touch her and see her in a way no one else ever has. I got to hold her and watch her and feel her as she came apart in my arms. It was like nothing else I’d ever experienced. She was breathtaking and she was responding to me. She wanted me. I was the one making her spiral out of control.”
Oh. But . . . “But you acted tense and angry when I reacted that way and moved away from me like you didn’t want to be near me anymore.”
Sawyer chuckled. “Lana, I was using every amount of self-control I could find to keep from pulling off those shorts of yours and going somewhere neither of us are ready to go. For a moment there, all I saw was red-hot need and I came real close to taking it. What you thought was anger was me forcing myself to calm the fuck down.”
The hardness I could still feel under my butt as I sat in his lap told me he hadn’t exactly calmed all the way down.
“But you’re still . . . ” I trailed off, and a crooked grin appeared on his face.
“Yeah, well, I doubt I’ll get rid of that without a really cold shower, which I think I may need to go take in a minute.”
Oh, wow. I knew enough to know a guy could go through a lot of pain if a girl worked him up enough and he didn’t . . . get his release. The ache had gotten so intense before I’d broken into a million pieces. I couldn’t imagine being forced to stay in that state with no end. He’d held me while I found my release.
“I could . . . help,” I offered quietly, and Sawyer’s body went rigid at my words.
“What?”
“I could help with your, um . . . need for release. I mean, it is my fault you’re like this. I could . . . I mean, I want to help.”
“Ah, shit,” he muttered, covering his face with his hand and rubbing it hard. “Lana, you can’t say things like that to me right now.”
“Why?”
“Because it only makes me hurt worse thinking about it.”
Crawling off his lap, I didn’t raise my eyes to see what his reaction was. Instead I took a deep breath and reached for the button of his shorts. His hand grabbed mine. “Oh, no. I’m not letting you do that.”
“I want to.”
Sawyer shook his head. “No, Lana. I’ll go up to the bathhouse and fix this.”
Shoving his hand away with more strength than was required, I continued to undo his shorts.
“Oh god,” he said with a groan as I pulled them down. He lifted his hips so I could pull them far enough down his hips. I was on a major power trip. Seeing Sawyer Vincent completely fascinated with everything I was doing was sexy, not to mention fun.
I pushed the nervous, reserved Lana, who was screaming in my head that I could not touch a boy there, far away. I reached into his boxers, and my hands felt his warm, silky erection.
“Holy shit.” Sawyer exhaled so deeply that he sent shivers through me.
A tremor went through his body and the ache between my legs he’d eased started up again. I slowly began sliding my hand up and down him. I loved the feel of having him in my hands. I was controlling his pleasure now.
“Lana,” he breathed out in a choked whisper. “No one’s ever . . . I don’t think I can . . . ah, damn that’s good, baby.”
The pleasure on his face made me needy again. I let go of him and reached for the tank top he’d put back on me and pulled it off. Then I straddled him and rested on his knees before reaching back for his erection that was red and swollen.
“Fuck,” Sawyer hissed through his teeth, and bucked underneath me. I looked up at his face and saw his eyes were focused on my bare breasts. That had been the idea. I wanted his eyes on me. “Tighter,” he said in a pleading voice. “Grip me tighter.”
I’d been trying not to hurt him but apparently he wanted me to tighten my hold. Leaning forward I placed one hand on his upper thigh and gently squeezed him with my other hand.
“UH,” he groaned, and fell back on his elbows. That was hot. Very hot. Having Sawyer’s body splayed out for me to do whatever I wanted to with was incredible and sexy. So very sexy. “Lana, I’m gonna come.” He reached up and started to push my hand away.
“Good,” I replied, refusing to let go.
“It’s messy, baby,” he explained in a tight voice. I was a virgin not an idiot. I knew this. I wanted to see him come apart while I was touching him.
“I know,” I replied, bending down to kiss the abs that were flexing with each breath he took.
“Shit,” he moaned, and his hand tangled in a tight fist in my hair. “I’m not gonna be able to stop.”
I lifted my eyes up to meet his eyes that were glazed over with pleasure. I licked my lips purposely and pulled harder.
“Ah, fuck,” he cried out, and instantly his discarded T-shirt was covering up my hand as his entire body went rigid underneath me.
SAWYER
I opened my eyes as the warmth of the early morning rays hit the tent. Last night’s events slowly washed over me, and the body I had pressed up against me made me smile. Lana McDaniel had rocked my world last night. When she’d come in my arms, I was pretty damn sure nothing could ever be that hot. But then the expression of awe on her face, her mouth slightly open in wonder as she gently used her innocent ministrations to give me my release, had been the absolute sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
Pulling her tighter against my chest, I inhaled the sweet, subtle scent of her shampoo, and closed my eyes.
“Good morning,” she said groggily as she rolled over in my arms until she was facing me. The shy smile on her face said she knew that she’d made me a very happy man last night.
“Mornin’,” I murmured before softly kissing her mouth.
She backed away and covered her mouth to keep me from doing anything more.
“Morning breath. I need to brush my teeth,” she explained as she kept her hand over her mouth.
“I’m sure it smells as sweet as the rest of you,” I assured her, ducking my head and kissing her neck before sniffing her skin loud enough to make her giggle. I wasn’t one for giggling, but that giggle was sexy and rare. I liked it—a lot.
“Get up; we got a waterfall to find. It’s gonna be hot as hell in a few hours, and we’ll need to be close to the cold water to cool off when it hits.” Jake’s voice boomed over the campsite.
Lana pushed away from me and sat up. I rolled over on my back and watched her as she gathered her supplies to get ready.
She flashed a smile back at me as she reached for the zipper of the tent. I noticed her discarded bra from last night; I sat up and grabbed her arm.
“You can’t go out there like that,” I said in a more demanding voice than I’d intended. The idea of Jake or anyone else seeing her braless in that skimpy little top sent a possessive jolt through me. No way in hell.
“Like what?” She frowned, staring down at my hand on her arm.
I picked up her bra and dangled it in front of her. “You need to put this on.”
She held up the clothes in her arms. “I’m puttin
g on my swimsuit under my clothes. I don’t need my bra today.”
“Uh, yeah, you do. You’re not walking out of this tent with your tits covered up by only that thin piece of cotton.”
A smile tugged on her lips and she snatched the bra out of my hands.
“Okay fine. Are you gonna watch me put it on?”
“Hell yeah, I am,” I replied, grinning and reaching for the things she’d picked up and setting them down beside her. “Or better yet I can put it on for you.”
Lana’s breaths became fast and shallow as I crawled over to her and reached for the hem of her tank top to take it off. She raised both her arms for me and I pulled it up nice and slow enjoying the view. I had always had a thing for tits and Lana’s were nice and big. I couldn’t help myself. I ran my thumbs over her erect nipples then tugged teasingly on one of them. The small gasp from her made me forget all about everyone else outside the tent waiting on us. Those short fast breaths were doing nice things to her boobs.
“Put my bra on, Sawyer.”
Lifting my gaze from her tight pink nipples I met her eyes. She was as turned on as I was. We were both going to explode if we kept this up. I wanted in her. Bad.
“Okay,” I replied, forcing myself to slip the bra straps back on her shoulders and up her arms. Reverently I covered both of her breasts with the satin cups before snapping the closure nestled between them.
“I’ll, uh, be, uh . . . right back,” she stammered breathlessly.
All I could manage was a nod.
Chapter 15
SAWYER
The waterfall was only a five-mile hike, which was a good thing because if I had to hear Heidi complain for one more minute, I was going to lose it.
I searched for Lana and found her sitting out on a rock across the water beside Ashton. I stood there and watched them. Ashton’s laughter always made me smile. Hearing it ring out over the water as she talked happily with Lana made things feel right. Ashton had held my heart for so long that, even after her betrayal, I’d have taken her back without question if she’d asked. As much as I loved my brother, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t still. My eyes shifted to Lana, who was talking now. Her happy expression made me feel like a king. She’d been in an excellent mood all morning; knowing it was because of me was nice. The memory of Lana’s touch last night far exceeded anything I’d ever experienced with Ashton. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
Ashton had owned me. I’d have moved Heaven and Earth to make her happy. It was different with Lana. I enjoyed her company, and being with her was exhilarating. But I knew what love felt like, and what I was feeling for Lana wasn’t even close. The feelings I had were more intense but only physically. The idea of leaving her in August didn’t ache the way it did when I thought of Ash being so far away.
“She’s one hot piece of ass. If you get bored and want to trade tent buddies, just let me know.” I jerked my head to glare at Jake as he stood smirking with his attention focused on Lana.
“What did you just say?” I demanded, towering over Jake by only a few inches. I fisted both my hands, prepared to knock him on his ass if he dared to repeat his crude comment.
“Whoa, Saw, calm down, bud. You do realize I wasn’t talking about Ash, don’t you?” Jake held up both his hands and backed away from me.
“I know who you were talking about, and I suggest you take your perverted eyes off her. She isn’t up for grabs.”
“Well, well, well, what the hell did you do, Jake? Not sure I’ve ever seen Sawyer so ready to pummel someone other than me before,” Beau drawled in a lazy, amused tone.
“Shut up, Beau,” I snapped, not looking back at him.
“I don’t know. He’s gone apeshit. I just made a comment about Lana. Last time he talked about her, she was just a fucking ‘distraction.’ I didn’t know he would go all territorial,” Jake replied, glancing over my shoulder toward my brother. I could see the request for backup in his eyes, and it only pissed me off more.
“He’s right, bro. Back off. You’ve been referring to Lana as a distraction for more than a week. If you’ve gone and changed your mind, then you might want to let everyone know.”
I hated it when Beau had a valid point. He was the Neanderthal—not me. He wasn’t supposed to make sense. Jerking my shirt over my head, I threw it on the rocky ground and dove into the water. I needed to be near Lana. That was the only thing that was going to calm down the violent storm inside me.
LANA
I wanted a shower before I crashed. I was exhausted. Today had been a blast, but between the heat, swimming, and hiking, I could hardly keep my eyes open. I plugged in my phone to charge and placed it on the small ledge over the sink in the bathhouse. Then I went to get cleaned up. Ash had said her head hurt and she wanted to lie down a few minutes before coming to take a shower. Heidi and Kayla both said they were too tired to walk up here and shower, which I thought was gross. They decided the water at the falls was enough of a shower for them.
I’d sweated on our hike back, and I knew they had too, but it wasn’t my business. If they wanted to go to bed nasty, then so be it. Walking up here alone with the bears, snakes, and psycho chainsaw men had taken a great deal of bravery on my part.
I was also anxious to get back to Sawyer. The hope that we might have a night similar to the previous night had been at the forefront of my thoughts all day. Ashton had mentioned my silly smile, and I’d been vague with my reply as to why I was so giddy. Anyway, I was pretty sure she knew exactly why.
After finishing my shower, I dried off and slipped on my tank top—without a bra this time—and the pink-striped boxer shorts I’d brought to sleep in. It was dark, and I had to carry my supplies and dirty clothes back with me. I could hold those in front of my shirt. Sawyer would never notice I’d gone braless outside of the tent. His possessive reaction to my walking out of the tent without one this morning had surprised me. No one had ever been possessive of me. Maybe the healthy response would’ve been to stand my ground and force him to accept I was my own person. But I didn’t. I wanted to be wanted.
Picking up my phone, I noticed missed calls and text messages. Sighing, I scrolled through them and saw my dad had called twice. My mother had called fifteen times, and then they’d both left several text messages. I needed to call one of them back. Mom would keep me on the phone forever, and I really wanted to get to that tent.
So I tapped my dad’s name and waited as the phone rang.
“Finally. Is there no reception up there? I’ve called you several times.”
“Hi, Daddy. Sorry, but yes, the reception is shoddy up here.”
“I’m glad you finally got my messages and called. I need to talk to you about the wedding. There’s been a change of plans.”
“Okay—”
“Shandra’s grandmother lives on the coast in South Carolina. She’s wealthy, and her home is a historical landmark. She has offered it to Shandra to use for the wedding. Since Shandra can’t have her Christmas wedding in New York, she’s decided a summer wedding on the coast would be more fitting. I want this to be perfect for her. Special, ya know?” He paused, waiting on a response from me.
I didn’t respond.
“You still there?”
“Yes, Daddy, I’m listening.”
“Oh, okay, good. This is going to cost a good bit more than originally planned. Also, family members who Shandra’s grandmother insisted should attend are flying in from all over. The house is going to be packed.”
Still not sure what it was he wanted to tell me other than his wedding plans, which I did not think were a very urgent matter, I waited.
“There just isn’t room for you at the house. I can’t very well make Shandra’s grandmother give you a room when she’s being so generous already. Plus, the cost of travel is really making my budget tight. Flying you out and paying for your hotel room just isn’t possible. I mean, I want you there, but I just don’t see how I can afford to get you there.”
I leaned ba
ck against the wall and closed my eyes. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I wiped at them furiously. I would not cry over this. I would not.
“Okay. All right,” I managed through my clogged throat.
“So you understand, right?”
He was spending all his money on a wedding with a girl he was about to start a brand-new family with. He couldn’t manage to find money to fly the daughter he already had out to be with him for his big day. As much as it hurt, this was something I could live with. I knew, though, the reality of what he was telling me was so much more.
A new wife, a new house, a big wedding, a new baby . . . My dad wasn’t going to help me with college. I didn’t even have the courage to ask anymore. If I had to be disappointed and let down by him one more time, I wasn’t sure I could deal.
“Lana?”
“Yeah, okay, Daddy. I understand.”
“I knew you would. Shandra is very worried this will upset you. I told her you were nothing like Caroline, and this wouldn’t be a big deal for you.”
“I need to go. I don’t want to use up all my battery.”
“Right, of course. Well, have fun and enjoy your summer. Maybe I can make it out to see you this fall. Which college did you finally decide on?”
I’d be going to the local junior college. My dad had a new family.
“I gotta go, Daddy,” I replied, and clicked end.
The tears trickled down my face, and I felt my hardened resolve not to let my dad or my mother hurt me anymore melt away. How much was I supposed to take before I crumbled? Holding all this in was eating me alive. I needed someone to listen to me, someone to hold me while I cried. I just needed someone to care about me—not themselves. For once I needed it to be about me. . . . I needed Sawyer. I splashed water on my face and dried off all the tears. I didn’t want to answer any questions on my way to find him. He was the only one I wanted to talk to about this.