by Jaci Burton
"You. Not nice. When?"
"I don't know. Lots of times. Why?"
She shrugged. "It would make me feel better if you gave me an example."
He blinked. "Seriously?"
"Yes."
"You would make me tell you an awful story about myself to make you feel better about yourself?"
She gave him a half smile. "Yes."
He sighed. "Fine." He couldn't believe she was asking him to do this. But she'd been upset, and if this was what it took to make her happy again, he'd do it. God knows he'd been no Boy Scout. He'd made amends with the people he could, though some didn't want that. He understood why.
"Okay, fine."
"Oh, good. Make it a really bad one."
He laughed. "Loretta."
"Sorry. I'm feeling particularly lousy tonight."
He thought back to his youth, and one woman popped into his head. "After you left, I didn't date anyone until about six months later. Then it was random dates here and there, no attachments. I just wasn't ready for anything long-term after what I'd gone through with . . . after you . . . well, you know."
"This is not making me feel better, Deacon."
"Sorry. Anyway, I finally started dating this girl, Wendy. She was a waitress at the diner. Really sweet girl, working part-time while she went to the community college to start building credits for an art degree. She was pretty talented, too. She used to draw on my napkin when I'd stop in to eat on my lunch breaks."
"She sounds really nice."
"She was nice. Pretty, too. Kind of shy and quiet, but I liked her. As much as I could like anyone at that point. But it was clear after a while that she was way more into having a relationship than I was. I felt . . . suffocated. So I just . . . broke it off. Suddenly and brutally. I told her it was obvious that she liked me more than I liked her and that I wasn't interested in her that way."
Loretta frowned at him. "Ouch."
"Yeah. I hurt her and I knew it, but I was so into my own pain that I didn't realize how badly I'd broken her heart."
They'd made their way to the lake's edge. Loretta turned to him and grasped his arm. "Oh, Deacon."
"Yeah. Wendy didn't have a mean bone in her body, and I tore her apart without even thinking of how it affected her. And then I walked away without a backward glance. So the next time you want to kick yourself about how you dumped me, think about that. You're not the only one who's hurt someone, Loretta."
"Did you ever see her again? Ever talk to her?"
"I stayed away from the diner for a while after we broke up, figuring it'd be best if we didn't run into each other. She ended up quitting her job there to go to school full-time in Kansas. I ran into her at a club one night a couple of years later. She had a new boyfriend and a new job, and she was fine. But I apologized for hurting her and told her she had every right to hate me until the end of time."
"What did she say?"
"She said she did hate me for a while, but she moved on. And she forgave me, because that's the kind of person Wendy is. And then she hugged me and introduced me to her boyfriend, who already knew who I was, because Wendy had told him about me."
Loretta's brows rose. "Uh-oh. Did he want to punch you in the face?"
Deacon laughed. "Nah. Wendy explained that I'd apologized, and the guy was fine with it. He was a really nice guy, too. I heard they ended up getting married. They both live in Kansas now and have a two-year-old little boy."
Loretta sighed. "A happy ending. I like that."
"Yeah, me, too. I wasn't the right guy for her. I'm glad she found the right one."
They took a seat at the edge of the dock. Loretta leaned against him. "Even in this story where you were the bad guy, you ended up looking decent."
"Trust me, I wasn't decent. I hurt her. I made her cry. And at the time, I didn't care. Plus, she wasn't the only woman I hurt. There were others."
She tilted her head back and looked up at him. "Care to tell me about them?"
"Not really. Looking back on all of them, I feel bad about every woman I hurt. But in the long run, it made me realize that you can't mess with people's feelings. It made me more honest."
"That's a good thing."
"I guess it is. We all have to grow up and evolve. We have to learn from the mistakes we made in our youth so we don't keep repeating them."
Loretta thought about what Deacon had said. God knew she'd made plenty of mistakes when she was younger. Deacon. Tom. The choices she'd made. She really hoped she'd evolved enough to not make the same mistakes again.
But here she was, reliving her past with Deacon. Though maybe it wasn't the past she was reliving with him.
She didn't know. A part of her was still so confused where Deacon was concerned, which was why she was still keeping her heart closed. She knew what she felt for him deepened every day. How could it not? He was still the same guy she'd fallen in love with all those years ago, only he was so much more than that now. Back then it had been fun and sexy and playful. And while those things remained, there was more of a thoughtfulness and depth to him that hadn't been there in high school.
It was like with every step he'd taken through life, he'd learned something about himself and applied it to becoming a better person.
Had she done the same thing?
Thunder rumbled off in the distance, and the clouds flittered with lightning.
"We should head back," he said.
She nodded, and took his hands when he held them out for her. He pulled her up and wrapped his arm around her.
"I'm sorry we didn't get much time alone together these past couple of days."
She rubbed her fingertip along the side of his jaw. "It's not necessary for us to be alone. I'm happy enough that we were together."
"Maybe we could have a date night sometime next week or next weekend."
"Hazel will be with her grandparents next weekend, so I'm sure we can arrange something."
He leaned in and kissed her, and they made their way back to the house. When they walked inside, Zach, Josie, Megan, and Brady were in the living room watching a movie, so Loretta and Deacon grabbed something cold to drink and settled in with them.
The movie was, of course, Independence Day. There was nothing better to wrap up the Fourth of July than watching people kill off Earth-invading aliens.
When the movie ended, the discussion turned to the best way to handle an alien invasion.
"You have to have the technology, but I think biological warfare is the key," Zach said.
Josie turned to him. "Which could also destroy human life."
"Oh, like the aliens aren't already intent on doing that? I'm just gonna say that our scientists will come up with an idea that will kill the aliens and protect the humans."
"Yeah," Deacon said. "Then we'll be able to pump it into the atmosphere and knock them all out."
"And you know the aliens all have a weakness," Brady said. "So once we figure out what that is, the humans will go after them, both barrels blazing."
Deacon nodded. "Alien-killing silver bullets. Only more like some kind of thermonuclear blasters."
Loretta turned to Josie and Megan and shook her head.
Megan shrugged. "Video games."
Deacon vehemently defending his point of view on alien-fighting weaponry was a side to him she'd never seen before. She sat back and enjoyed hearing him argue with Zach and Brady, trying to imagine him sitting in front of his television, at war with some imaginary world.
No wonder Hazel loved him. He could work his ass off all day long as an adult, then immediately enter a make-believe world. She'd never been able to do that. She could barely figure out how to use the controllers without having her characters walk into walls over and over again. It must be nice to be able to seamlessly make that transition from real world to pretend world. Although she did find her escape in books and their make-believe worlds. That was her love, her escape and her way to relax. Maybe it was similar.
And maybe
someday she'd try video games again. Maybe Deacon could show her how.
She obviously had a lot to learn about this adulting thing. And maybe it didn't always have to be so serious.
Chapter 27
* * *
IT WAS ALMOST a week after the holiday before Deacon could make it out to Loretta's farm to work on the fence. The job site had been busy as hell, and he'd put in a lot of overtime hours. He'd called Loretta and let her know he wouldn't be able to make it until Friday, but she'd told him there was no hurry and his job had to come first.
He appreciated that she understood, but he wanted to finish the projects at her place.
They'd seen each other at their softball game on Tuesday night, and that had been fun. Hazel had come along, and he discovered she loved coaching them from the bleachers. But Loretta had paperwork to do after the game, so they hadn't hung out after.
So after work on Friday, he loaded up his truck with supplies and headed out to Loretta's house. When he parked in the driveway, he was surprised not to see Otis or Hazel already outside, or coming out to greet him like they typically did.
He got out of the truck and went to the front door to ring the bell. He heard Otis's deep bark announcing his arrival. Maybe Loretta was keeping him inside because of the heat. When Loretta answered, the dog was right there at the door, his tail whipping back and forth.
"Hey," Loretta said. "Come on inside. It's blistering hot today."
It sure as hell was. The temps were only getting hotter, hovering right at the century mark. Deacon was damn glad they had the air-conditioning installed in the building they were working on, or it would be an oven in there.
He told Otis to sit, and when he did, he scratched him behind the ears, then followed Loretta into the kitchen.
"Where's Hazel?" he asked.
"Asleep on the sofa. She hasn't been feeling good the past couple of days."
Deacon frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that. What's going on with her?"
"I'm not sure. She's had a low-grade fever, and she's complaining of stomach pains."
"Huh." Since he didn't have kids, he had no idea what that could be. "Something going around?"
"Not that I know of. I've talked to the parents of some of her friends, and they're all fine. I'm hoping it's just a bug and it'll go away. But it's unusual for her to get sick. She's usually really healthy."
Now Deacon was worried. He wandered over to the living room, where Otis had taken up a spot lying on the floor in front of Hazel.
Good dog.
Deacon took a peek over the back of the sofa. Hazel was curled up, sound asleep, her cheeks tinged with pink. He brushed his hand over her forehead.
Yeah, it was warm.
Damn.
He wandered back into the kitchen, where Loretta had fixed him a tall glass of ice water. He picked it up and took several swallows, then set it down on the island. "Thanks. Did she eat anything unusual?"
Loretta shook her head. "She and I have eaten all the same things, and I'm fine. Though, honestly, she hasn't been eating much. She says she's not hungry."
"You worried?"
"Not yet. Kids pick up things all the time, especially viruses. Typically, they run their course, and then Hazel bounces back fast. But I'm keeping a watchful eye on her."
"You know best."
"Obviously she's not going to her grandparents' this weekend. Sorry about that."
He reached out and took her hand. "Don't be sorry. Hazel always comes first."
She sighed, then smiled at him. "You are so understanding. Don't you ever get mad?"
"You should see me on the job site. I get mad plenty. But about this? Never."
"Thanks."
"Mama, I don't feel so good."
Deacon looked over toward the living room. Hazel was sitting up, and she looked pale.
Loretta slipped off the bar stool and went over to the sofa. "What's wrong?"
"I feel sick."
"Let's go."
They disappeared down the hall and into Hazel's bathroom, shutting the door.
Otis wandered down the hall, staring at the closed door. He whimpered there, scratching at the door.
"Otis."
The dog came to him, so Deacon decided to distract him.
"Let's go outside and play. You can follow me while I work on some fence."
Otis wagged his tail and stopped whimpering, so Deacon figured getting Otis out of the house while Loretta tended to Hazel might be a good thing.
They walked out the front door. Deacon let Otis into his truck, and he drove off, heading down the property to work on the fence.
Maybe they both needed some distraction so they wouldn't worry about Hazel.
*
LORETTA DIDN'T KNOW what time it was when she finally got Hazel settled in bed, but it was dark outside. It had been a long bout of sickness, her poor baby girl. And she had totally forgotten about Deacon, who had probably gone home by now. She felt bad about it, but there was nothing she could have done. Hazel needed her. She hoped he understood.
She started down the hall, then realized she smelled something wonderful in her kitchen. She frowned, and when she turned the corner, she saw Deacon in there, cooking, Otis looking up adoringly at him.
"What are you doing?"
"I figured you might be hungry. I know I'm hungry." He paused. "How's Hazel?"
"Asleep, finally. But sick."
He rested a hip against the kitchen counter, and she saw concern cross his features. "How sick?"
"I don't think you want me to be graphic, especially while you're cooking."
"I have an iron stomach, Loretta. Go ahead."
"She threw up several times. But I think she's done now. I hope she's done now."
"I hope so, too. Poor baby."
"She's sleeping and seems calmer, so I'm hoping she's settled in for the night."
"I made chicken soup. I know it's hot outside, but I thought soup would be helpful for whenever Hazel's up for it. And for us."
"I am kind of hungry. But first, I need a shower, if you don't mind waiting."
"I don't mind at all."
She nodded. "Thanks. It won't take me long. I'll be right back."
She hurried into her bathroom and turned the water on, stripped out of her clothes, and got into the shower, letting the water stream down over her. She took the fastest shower on record, but at least she felt clean after. She combed out her hair, put on fresh clothes, then went back into the kitchen.
"That was quick," Deacon said as he reached into one of her cabinets for bowls.
"I told you I wouldn't be long. Let me help you."
"No. You sit. I'll do this."
This was new, having a man deal with dinner. Admittedly, she enjoyed watching him spoon the soup into the bowl and present it to her, then slice the bread he'd made. Granted, it wasn't homemade bread, but it smelled wonderful, and she was suddenly starving. Frozen bread, thawed and heated in the oven, would do quite nicely. He took a seat next to her at the island, and they started to eat.
"Fence is fixed," he said after a few minutes.
"Oh, thank you. And thanks for staying. You didn't have to."
"I had work to do, and I was worried about Hazel. I wouldn't have left even if I didn't have things to do here."
Her heart was filled to bursting with the feelings she didn't want to have for Deacon. But they were there, and eventually she was going to have to face them.
But not tonight. Tonight she'd had enough to deal with. So she could live in denial a little longer.
"Thank you for being here."
"You're welcome. Oh, and I watered your vegetables. They're looking good. I also put some fencing and some cages around the tomato plants, since they were starting to look heavy."
"Thank you for that as well."
"No big deal. I thought the fencing would help keep Otis out. I saw his footprints in there."
She swallowed some soup, then laid her spoon down. "Yes
. He thinks they smell good. He already jerked up one of the plants and was running around with it in his mouth the other day."
Deacon slanted a glare at Otis. "Dude. You did that? Not cool."
Otis gave him a wild thump of his tail from his spot in the living room.
"At least it was only one plant. I think after I yelled at him and even Hazel yelled at him, he's convinced the tomato plants are not good things after all. He might ignore me, but he doesn't like having Hazel unhappy with him."
"That's good."
They finished eating, and when Loretta went to do the dishes, Deacon insisted she go sit on the sofa and let him clean up. She argued.
"You had a rough day. I'll do this, and you go relax. We'll watch something on television together after I'm done in here."
He looked determined, and she was too tired to argue, so she finally went into the living room, grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa, and began channel surfing.
Her eyes were seeing double as she sifted through the options, so she settled on a baseball game.
She was asleep before Deacon showed up.
He nudged her sometime later. "Hey. Time for bed."
She blinked, barely conscious of him leading her toward her bedroom.
She crawled into bed and reached for him. "Thank you, Deacon. It means a lot that you're here."
He brushed his lips across hers and swept her hair away from her face. "I'll always be here for you. Good night, Loretta."
"Mmm, night."
She rolled over and fell asleep immediately.
Chapter 28
* * *
LORETTA WAS NUDGED awake by Deacon.
"Hey, babe. You gotta get up. Hazel's sick."
In an instant, she was sharply awake and bolting out of bed.
"Where is she?"
"In the bathroom."
She followed Deacon down the hall. "She came into the living room to look for you. I was asleep on the sofa, so I took her into the bathroom. She threw up a couple of times. She feels pretty hot, Loretta."
Damn. Loretta saw Hazel sitting on the floor, looking flushed and miserable. She crouched down beside her.
"I don't feel good, Mama. My stomach hurts really bad."
She swept her hands over Hazel's face. She was hot.
"I'm sorry, baby." She looked up at Deacon. "The thermometer is in the medicine cabinet. Can you get that for me?"
Deacon nodded and grabbed it, then handed it to Loretta. She turned it on and waved it over Loretta's face.