“Huh.” His eyes swept over me and I tried to ignore the tickling sensation pulsing through my body. Friends! Luke is my friend! He interrupted my thought with his reply. “I don’t see that in you.”
“Even after my free concert?” I asked with a raised brow.
He smiled, but he didn’t laugh. “You might have been giving free concerts, but I wasn’t. You snuck backstage, pretty girl. Don’t you think you owe me payment for my show?”
I shook my head. “Consider my free concert your payment.”
He shook his head. “Alright, maybe Kami is right.” He grinned. “I can already tell I’m going to have fun getting to know that mouth of yours.”
At his words, I turned into that damn blushing girl again. Feeling shy, I toed the ground of the barn. “Um, so, you said you wanted discuss my actual job expectations today?”
Luke’s grin didn’t falter as he slowly began to nod his head. “Yeah.” He pointed to a coffee pot sitting on a small counter in the corner of the office. “Grab a cup of coffee and come take a seat.” He patted the chair next to his where he was facing the computer.
I shook my head as I moved to lower myself onto the chair beside him. “I can’t stand coffee.”
“You don’t drink coffee?” He looked horrified.
I chuckled. “Nope.” I shook my head.
“What do you drink?”
“Hot chocolate or tea.” I smiled. “I’ve never been a coffee drinker.”
“Sorry, I don’t have hot chocolate or tea.”
“It’s no problem.” I shrugged. “I’m fine.”
Luke nodded as he pointed to the screen of the computer. “Alright, so I know you can ride, Ember. This Ranch has a lot of stable hands, but what we really need are tour guides. I’ve seen you with the horses in the past and you’re good with them. They trust you, so I know you’ll be great with that aspect of the job. What I need to be sure you can do is navigate the land.”
“What?” I felt my brows furrow. “I’m confused.”
He pointed to the screen for the second time. “I need another tour guide. This summer has a few more bookings than normal and I’m going to be swamped. For the most part, we can do tours together. I’d lead and you’d flank the group to make sure nothing got out of hand with the larger groups. But there will be times I’ll need you to take out your own tours. Do you think you can handle that?” He tapped the screen. “I’ll show you a few of our more popular routs.”
I felt a slow smile stretch across my face. “You want to pay me to ride horses all day long?”
Luke chuckled. “I suppose I do.”
I sighed. “I think I love you.”
Chapter 6
I was awake before the sun had risen the next morning. Today was my third day working at the Ranch, but it was the first day I was getting onto a horse. Yesterday, I’d spent the entirety of the day trying to memorize the maps of the Ranches most popular routes. It had been hard, but I had a pretty clear understanding of it, I thought. There were very few tours booked in March, so Luke wasn’t all that busy. He’d said it was the perfect time to take me out for training rides, which was perfectly fine by me. Never once had I thought that I’d ever find a job I could ride and be paid for - that wasn’t a jockey - which I had no desire to be.
All I had wanted from my life was to work with horses. That was why I had wanted to become an Equine Veterinarian, but now that I had a position where I could do everything I loved - ride and work with horses - I was even more confused about whether or not I wanted to go for another four years of schooling.
By the time 7:00 a.m. rolled around, I had cleaned up my little cabin, had a leisurely shower and attempted to read a bit of a book I’d just bought. Sadly, I was unable to calm the racings of my mind long enough to remember what I’d read after my eyes had scanned a page. Putting the book down, I decided I’d wander over to the barn early. I could at least look around, maybe walk around the pasture and familiarize myself a bit more with the layout of the barn. I was an employee now, so I figured I should know the ins and outs of the Ranch.
By the time I made it to the barn, it was only twenty minutes past seven. I hadn’t thought Luke would be there, but when I entered the barn and heard the sound of country music playing in the office, I knew that he was. Moving slowly to the door of the office, I knocked on the trim to alert him to my presence.
Frowning, Luke looked up at me from the screen of the computer. “Morning.” He glanced down at his watch. “You’re a bit early.”
“I know.” I tried to swallow my worry. “I - I couldn’t sleep and I figured...”
“You can come here any time, Ember.” Luke nodded to the coffee machine. “I brought hot chocolate and tea. Make yourself a cup and join me.”
My eyes flickered over to the counter where he kept the coffee and I spotted a canister of hot chocolate and a few different boxes of tea as well as a kettle for water. My heart knocked against my chest as I moved, feeling heavy in the foot, across the room.
“You bought this for me?”
“Sure did.” Luke leaned back in his chair to watch me.
“Um...” I felt breathless and slightly uncomfortable, but I knew the gesture was a nice one and the polite response would be to say thank you. So, that’s what I did. “Thanks.”
“No problem, pretty girl.”
At the sound of his now familiar endearment on his lips, I felt my spine stiffen. Filling the kettle with water, I plugged it into the wall and turned it on. For a few minutes, there was silence. Those few minutes felt like the longest few minutes in all of eternity as I thought up the best and most polite way to tell Luke Donnelley I wasn’t interested in taking Kami’s advice. As much as I would enjoy working out my problems with a man like Luke, I knew that if I did, I would undoubtedly fall in love with him. Love was simply not something I could afford. Love wasn’t something someone like me could take a chance on. A man who was supposed to love me without hesitation or reason, forever and for always had left me once, and I couldn’t take the chance that fate, as unkind as it was, would deliver me the same injustice I’d already suffered. I just couldn’t.
Glancing at the tea, I decided I’d need the comfort of the powdered sugar as I spoke the difficult speech I’d worked up in my mind. Dumping a small mountain into the bottom of my mug, I poured the boiling water into the cup and stirred the powder until there was only the chocolate color of goodness swimming in my cup.
Taking in a deep breath, I moved to the chair beside Luke’s. Then I spoke. “I’m not interested, you know.”
“In what?” Luke asked, clearly startled and confused by my blunt, no-nonsense tone.
“In taking Kami’s - um, advice.”
For a moment, Luke just stared at me. And then he threw his head back and he laughed. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as the sound of humor filled the room. However, not once did I laugh. This was not funny.
When he regained his composure, he asked. “You mean you’re not interested in fucking me or your not interested in dating me?”
I blinked. For a moment, I was frozen as I simply stared at the man waiting for my response. Finally, although I don’t know how I did it, I found my voice. “Aren’t they the same thing?”
“No.”
“How aren’t they?” I asked, feeling my voice shake. I lifted my cup to my lips to take a small sip of the hot sweet liquid.
“If you said you were interested in fucking me, I’d say great. We’d have fun and I’d definitely wet your, uh, prune.”
My mouth dropped as I gasped. “You did not just say that!” I reached out to mock punch his arm. “Seriously, Luke!”
He chuckled before raising his hands in defense. “I’m only recycling Kami’s words.”
I shook my head. “So uncalled for!”
His face turned serious again. “And if you wanted to date, then I’d romance you. I’d take my time with you and I’d make you fall hopelessly in love with me.” He grinned a cocky m
atter of fact grin and I felt my heart flutter. “I’d also wet your prune.”
“Oh, will you please shut up!” I huffed, fighting my smile.
“Not a chance.” He shook his head. “I like to talk too, pretty girl.”
“Then do you think you can talk about anything but my prune?” I asked diplomatically. “It’s rude.”
After making a show of thinking, he nodded. “I think I can manage.” He paused for a moment and I felt my blush diminish. “So, fucking or dating?”
Again, I blinked. In all my memories of Luke, I didn’t remember him being so - blunt. “Um, neither.”
“Why?” He cocked his head. “You’re attracted to me.”
I laughed abruptly. “You’re conceited.”
“And you know I’m attracted to you.”
“Do I now?”
He nodded. “You’ve seen me look at you, Ember, don’t play coy.”
“I’m not.” I assured, feeling prickly in response to the accusation. “But I’m also not interested.”
“Give me a reason why.”
“Because...” I stammered. “You’re my boss. You don’t date people you work with and you certainly don’t fuck them.”
“I can think of four immediate cases to prove that’s a load of crap.” He replied gruffly, continuing before I could say anything else. “All my brothers and my parents have successful relationships with people they work with.”
“Luke.” I sighed. “I can’t.”
“Why?” He asked again. “Give me one good reason and I’ll let it go.”
“I don’t date.”
“Not good enough, pretty girl.”
I tensed. My voice was sharp and loud as I replied. “Because I just don’t want to, alright?”
A beat of silence pulsed between us as I pulled in deep, rushed breaths. I wanted to take back my words, but I couldn’t. Finally, Luke nodded. “Alright.” He pointed to the screen of the computer. “We’re going to take these three trails today. Each of them is an hour and a half. We’ll do one now, change horses and do the next two after lunch.”
My throat felt tight as I replied. “Sounds good.”
“Pay attention, pretty girl, because tomorrow you’re going to lead me over the same trails.” Luke stood from the desk. “Let’s get this day started.”
Chapter 7
I’d been at the Ranch for a month and a half. It was mid May and the snow was gone. The grass was green and flowers had even begun to bloom. The temperature during the day was warm, but the mornings and evenings were still cool.
Since arriving at the Donnelley Ranch, I’d found a routine I was comfortable with. In all honesty, it was a pretty good routine. I spent my days riding through the beautiful mountainous land with Luke and groups of other riders, some who were experienced and others who weren’t so experienced. Every ride was different even though we often took the same trails. There were always new people, all of whom had different experiences with their horses - thankfully none were horrible. All in all, work was great. After work, I tended to hang with Luke, which had at first surprised me.
Since his very astonishing fuck me or date me proposal, and my none-too-kind response, Luke and I had become fast friends. However, we often laughed over the presumptuous vulgarity of that conversation. I had to admit that I was ecstatic that Luke was man enough to move on from the past. Most men would push a woman away who’d had the balls to turn him down, but not Luke. Nope, Luke took it with the grace of a man with an ego of steel. It was that unbreakable ego of his that allowed us to be friends - so although he often flirted with me, I took that as small penance for the wonderful friend I had found in such an amazing man.
Luke and I spent almost every day after work hanging out at either the cafeteria, the rock climbing gym (Luke said I was a natural), or my comfy cabin. The only day we didn’t see each other outside of work was Wednesday. Wednesday was ladies night. Tonight was ladies night.
I snuggled into the high backed wood chair on the deck, pulling a beige throw pillow onto my lap as a laugh died in my throat. Tonight’s ladies night was being hosted at Gracie’s house. The men had congregated at Kyle and Kami’s house and were doing God only knows what. Us ladies had had a wonderful evening of barbecued chicken and salad. We were now munching on a plate of cheese and a glass of wine, talking about a whole lot of funny nothings.
When the laughter settled down, Gracie turned slightly in her chair as she directed her question at me. “How are you liking the Ranch so far, honey?”
“I love it.” I breathed. “I’m so envious of your life here.” I glanced around. “All of your lives. You’re all so lucky to know you’re going to wake up to this every morning.” I waved my hands at the mountainous landscape, careful not to spill the wine in my glass. “I mean, seriously, if I could stay here for eternity, I would.”
Hadley chuckled. “You can stay here for eternity.” She winked. “All you’ve gotta do is use them wrangling skills of yours to capture the last Donnelley Brother.”
“Hadley!” I scolded as my eyes shot to Gracie. I was surprised to find her nodding in her agreement. Before I considered my next word, my reprimanding tone continued. “Gracie!”
Laughter sounded ounce again into the quiet of the night, stifling only at the sound of the baby monitor alerting us to a shifting baby. A small cry sounded as the monitor blinked before sleep took over and laughter resumed. Reese’s son Kaiden never failed to accompany us on girl’s night. He was an easy baby and whenever he wasn’t eating, he was sleeping. Right now, he was sleeping in the playpen Gracie had purchased to sit in her dining room.
Reese broke through the laughter. “Seriously, Ember, you spend every waking minute with Luke.”
I interrupted her. “We’re just friends. Luke knows that.”
“But he wants more.” Reese argued. “I know he does.”
“I don’t.” I said quickly, before shifting awkwardly in my seat. “You all know I’m not ready for a relationship.”
Kami sighed. “You’ve never had a relationship. You don’t know what a relationship is - so how can you possibly know if you’re ready?”
“I just do.”
Gracie sighed and I felt my eyes flutter to land on her face. “Girls, let Ember decide for herself whether she’s ready or not. When the time comes for her to enter into a relationship, she’ll know whether it’s right or not.” She offered me a small smile before continuing. “But know, honey, that Luke does care for you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t spend his every moment with you. He’ll wait for you, but I can’t promise he’ll wait forever. I know there are pains in your past you have yet to come to terms with, but maybe if you let him in, offered him insight into those pains, he’d be able to help you move forward.”
I felt tears burning in my eyes as I stared into the night. Then, to my utter surprise, I nodded. “I don’t want to lose him.” My voice was quiet and my words were mumbled. “He means the world to me, but I just can’t...” I breathed in sharply. “I’m just not ready.”
Gracie nodded. “You’ll know when you’re ready, Ember. All I’m saying, is you should let yourself open up to others around you. You have a beautiful, kind, gentle soul, and that kind of beauty in this world is rare. Don’t keep that exquisiteness caged by your fear of feeling, Ember.”
I felt tears mist in my eyes as I struggled to swallow the emotion building up in my chest, threatening to travel upward to morph into something more physical and audible than simple feeling, but rather the crystal of tears and the melody of sorrow.
“I...”
Kami spoke. I didn’t know if it was because she had something to say, or because she was taking pity on me. She knew me well enough to spot the signs that I was nearing my breaking point, so I knew, she knew, I was almost there.
“Ember,” Kami sighed. “You know that every one of us girls came to this Ranch in a desperate need to heal. This place is the perfect place for you to open yourself up to the pain you’re feeling
. I know what you’re going through right now, because I know you. I know you don’t trust openly and I know you particularly don’t trust men - but I can promise you that the Donnelley men aren’t your father. They aren’t even in the same species as your father.” She sucked in a deep breath as a tear escaped from my eye. “I’m sorry for saying this, and I know it’s hurting you, but my not saying anything - my allowing you to continue living the way that you are, is hurting you more.” She pushed a smile into her lips. “I love you and you’re worth loving.”
“I love you too.” I didn’t know what else to say. Her speech was a lot to take in and I couldn’t find my voice no matter how I tried. Instead, I turned to Hadley, desperate to change the topic from me to something else - anything else. Placing the rim of my wine glass to my lips, I tipped my head back, and I downed the contents of my glass. Then, I spoke. “So, how are the wedding plans coming along?”
Through the sadness in Hadley’s blue eyes, she smiled and forced a perkiness that I appreciated greatly into her voice. “It’s coming along really well. Actually, I was hoping you would stand up with me as a bridesmaid?”
I stiffened and Gracie rose from her chair. I watched as she poured more deep red wine into my glass as I asked, “You want me to be a bridesmaid?”
Hadley nodded. “I really do.”
“But we just met.” I stumbled over my words. “I’m honored, really. But are you sure?”
Again, she nodded. “I’m positive.” She gave a small giggle. “I know we haven’t known each other long, but honestly, I feel confident that we’re only going to get closer as time passes. As you know I’ve asked Reese to stand as my maid of honor, and Kami is standing as a bridesmaid. I’d really love for you to stand as a bridesmaid as well.”
“Oh.” I nodded before laughing. “I’d love to, Hadley!”
“Yes!” She jumped up from her chair and I laughed even harder as she practically dove into my lap to hug me tight. “Thank you, Ember!”
“Of course.” I hugged her back, again careful not to spill my new glass of wine. “I’m so honored.”
A Tender Touch: A Donnelley Brother's Novel (Logan Point Book 4) Page 5