by Deanna Chase
Lailah!? I screamed in my mind. Wake up. You can’t do this now. You can’t die.
No response. Fuck! She wouldn’t actually die, would she? They had to save her. They were angels for Christ’s sake.
Dan stood over me, shouting, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I couldn’t hear anything actually and, despite Lailah’s help, my soul continued to rush into Meri. Every last bit.
Focusing on Lailah’s energy, I absorbed her powerful gift, but it was immediately sucked right out of me. I grew cold, uncaring, ready to let go.
I clutched the emerald ring and the bead mom had given me, trying desperately to hold on to the last pieces of my loved ones. Both were achingly heavy in my hands.
Life was so cruel. I’d just gotten Mom back and now all I had left was a stupid bead. I focused on the solid weight. An old sense of home washed over me. Comfort. In my last moments, Mom had found a way to soothe me.
I sobbed and turned my thoughts to Kane. The man who’d loved me unconditionally these last few months. The man I’d given my heart to. The man I’d never see again. My heart squeezed, and I pressed his ring to my chest. I would’ve probably given up right then, but someone yanked me up off the floor.
My eyes flew open, and Dan stared at me. Emotions ranging from fear to fury flashed over his features. He clutched my shoulders, and his face scrunched as he yelled in frustration. I tried to shake my head, to let him know I didn’t understand what he was saying. Nothing happened. I was too weak.
Dan shifted, pulled me closer, his eyes pleading. Don’t give up, he mouthed.
I’d promised. No matter what, I’d fight.
Something triggered inside me. I didn’t have any energy to battle the soul transfer. Instead, I focused on the objects clutched in my hands. They represented what was most important to me in this life. Love. Family. Home. With my heart full, I searched deep within myself for the remnants of my soul.
I’d touched it a few times before. I could find it again. And I did. Almost instantly. Right below my heart, where my magic usually hovered.
I grabbed and held on for dear life as it tugged and stretched and fought to leave my body. The remaining pieces were worn thin, but as I mentally clutched tighter, my soul settled firmly beneath my breast.
I squeezed my fists, as if the action could help me physically hold on to what I had left. The tug of war stalled, my battered soul immobilized in place.
Angel magic crushed my ribs. The air whooshed out of my lungs from the beating. The angel of light stepped forward, held her hand out in a clawing motion, and invisible tenterhooks embedded themselves into my chest and yanked.
I let out a cry and stumbled forward. Miraculously, the portion of my soul I’d managed to grasp onto didn’t budge. No way was I letting go. They’d have to pry my soul from my cold, dead grip if they wanted it.
As I steeled my resolve, a massive wave of power hit me, so strong it all but paralyzed me. Instinctively I knew this was the end. I’d tried. Done what Dan had asked, but I was only one white witch up against a full council of angels.
My chest seized and my core seemed to rip in two. Fire erupted in my bones as I convulsed on the floor. They’d done it. I’d lost. My soul belonged to Meri.
Screaming, I curled up in the fetal position and rocked back and forth until my world turned to nothing.
Chapter 30
I woke to the sound of hushed voices and someone stroking my head. I blinked, trying to clear my hazy vision. “Meri?” My voice came out wobbly.
“Jade! Thank the Goddess. You survived.”
“No,” I mumbled. “I died. Angels killed me.” A small, hysterical gasp escaped from my lips.
“Jade?” Someone blond and faceless hovered over me.
“Lailah?” A vague memory of her being carried off by bad angels surfaced in my mind. Had she died, too? Poor thing.
“Yes, I’m here.”
“I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes, more exhausted than I’d ever been in my entire life. Static hummed in my ears, and my mind started to fade into the abyss.
“Jade!” a familiar male voice cried out.
Kane. He’d found me. I frowned.
How could he find me among the angels? That’s when I knew for sure I’d lost. He had to be a figment of my imagination.
“Where are you?” I asked, hopeful I’d glimpse his mocha-colored gaze one last time.
“Saint Louis Cathedral,” he said.
I opened my eyes and tried to glance around, but I couldn’t lift my head. The black and white tile floor stretched out in front of me. Odd. I thought it was gold and white.
Strong arms lifted me. A sense of something peaceful settled into my being, and blackness overtook me again.
***
Someone clutched my hand, and I flinched. The tiny movement sent an ache through my core. “Ow.”
“Jade?”
I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the light in the strange room. “Kane?”
He gripped my hand tighter and let out a long, relieved sigh. “Thank God.” He smiled. “Welcome back.”
Frowning, I glanced at his hand in mine. It sure felt real. “Are you really here?”
“Huh?” His brow crinkled in confusion. “Of course I’m here. I’ve been here the entire time.”
“Okay.” I closed my eyes to give them a rest. Focusing hurt.
The bed shifted as Kane sat next to me, running his fingers lightly over my cheek. “Rest, love. We can talk later.”
The suggestion was so welcoming, I almost drifted off into unconsciousness. But irrational panic forced my eyes open. “Don’t leave.”
“I won’t. Promise.” He smoothed my hair and placed a gentle kiss on my lips as I drifted off again.
The third time I woke, two people were arguing. I couldn’t quite comprehend what they were saying, but the urgent tone jolted me awake.
“Hey,” I said through dry lips. “Any water?”
The arguing stopped immediately.
“Oh my God, Jade, of course.” Even though I couldn’t see her yet, I knew the voice. Kat. My best friend. She rushed over and held out a cup.
I took a sip. “Thank you.”
“Need more?”
I shook my head, eyeing her outfit. She wore her favorite faded jeans and a wool sweater she’d had since our freshmen year in college. If she was a figment of my imagination, at least I’d dressed her comfortably. “So, does this mean I’m not dead?”
She snorted. “Hardly. You’re recovering.”
“And Lailah?” My heart sped up waiting for the answer.
Kat frowned. “She’s okay. Still a little weak. Whatever they did to her left her pretty banged up. She could barely stay awake for the first twenty-four hours. Bea made her stay here for a few days, but let her go home yesterday after a massive infusion of energy pills.”
“Thank the Goddess.” I tried to sit up, but my chest hurt too much for me to move. I grunted.
“Here.” Kat handed me a large yellow pill. “This will help.”
I frowned. “Don’t tell me it’s enhanced.”
She gave me a stern look. “You know darn well it’s one of Bea’s healing pills. Swallow it. Unless you want to be laid up here for the next month or two.”
A month or two. Her words triggered a memory. “How long have I been gone?”
She sat next to me. “You’ve been in and out of consciousness for about four days now.”
“No. How long was I gone?”
She stared at her hands and didn’t say anything.
“Kat, tell me.”
She bit her lip. “Four weeks.”
Four weeks. Only a month. I blew out a sigh of relief. That was far better than a year or more.
Her eyebrows raised in question. “You’re okay with that?”
“Not exactly, but I was expecting much worse.” I glanced around at the tasteful, eighteenth-century nightstand and the sunflower quilt and recognized Bea’s guest room. “Anything ha
ppen while I was gone that I should know about?”
She let out a strangled laugh. “I’ll fill you in later. Now take your pill or I’ll—”
“Tell on me?”
She laughed. “Well, yeah.”
I did as I was told, but only because the weight on my chest made it tough to breathe. Seconds after swallowing the pill, the ache began to ease. I’d need to remember to thank Bea. This time when I tried to sit up, I managed to get the pillow under my shoulders enough to see the rest of the room. “Who were you arguing with?”
“Don’t worry about that now. We’ll talk about it later.”
“Kat,” I said. “What’s going on? Why am I still alive?”
She fidgeted. “Maybe Bea should answer your questions.”
I reached and squeezed her hand softly. “Please, Kat, I’d rather you told me.”
She pulled her knee up, making herself more comfortable. “Okay, the official word is your soul split. As in, you have a portion and Meri has a portion.”
Dan appeared right behind her. “But what we don’t know is if the two parts of your soul will try to rejoin if you and Meri are in a close enough proximity.”
“Dan!” Kat jumped up. “I told you, now is not the time.”
I lifted a weak hand. “It’s okay. I want to know.” In truth, I was too tired to care. I was alive, and that was enough for now.
“Kane’s going to kill me,” she mumbled as she moved toward the door and peeked out.
My heart pounded, and I craned my neck hoping to see him. “Is he here?”
“No, he went home to shower and change, but he’ll be right back. Dan is supposed to be waiting downstairs.” She sent him a glare.
I chuckled. It was almost like old times. I stared at Dan, so grateful to see him. Smiling, I held out my hand.
He grasped my palm lightly. “I’m so sorry. I never intended—”
I cut him off. “I know, Dan. It’s over. Can we move on? Try to be friends again?”
He stood still, silent in his thoughts. I’d give anything to know how he was feeling right then. But he didn’t project even one tiny emotion. Not even through our hands. Usually when I touched someone, it was incredibly hard to block the person out. I frowned. Maybe I was too weak to sense emotions just yet.
Finally, a small, tentative smile ghosted on Dan’s face. “I’d like to try.”
“Good, me too.” I would have hugged him if Kat hadn’t started dragging him away.
“Time to go,” she said. “I think that’s Kane’s car coming up the drive.”
“But what about Meri?” Dan asked.
“Jade’s too weak for that right now. Go.” She gave him a push out into the hallway. “We’ll talk about it later.”
She shut the door behind him and came back over to the bed, smiling as if nothing had happened.
“Talk about what?” I asked.
She started to tell me not to worry, but stopped when I fixed her with an intense stare. “He wants to bring Meri in so we can find out if either of you are still in danger.”
“I see. Well, I can’t say that task is high on my bucket list at the moment.”
“Exactly. We’ll worry about that later. Right now I’m headed downstairs to let Bea know you’re awake again. She’ll want to check you out.” Kat waved as she disappeared.
I let out a long breath and closed my eyes, wishing with all my heart I was at Kane’s house. I opened my eyes and stared down at his ring. Right then, I made the decision to move in with him. Immediately. I wasn’t willing to wait until after we were married. He’d asked once before, but I’d been reluctant to give up my own space. Not anymore. I just wanted him to take me home. To our home.
***
Over the next few days, Bea, Gwen, my mom, and Kat took turns keeping a watchful eye on me. It would’ve been annoying if I hadn’t been so happy to just be alive. I’d finally gotten over balking at Bea’s herbal pills. Damn, sometimes I even asked for them. They were little miracles in a capsule.
“No,” Bea said after I’d asked for some extras to keep on hand. “You’re becoming an addict.”
“No, I’m not.” I sat up cross-legged in the bed. “I just want to make sure I stay on schedule.”
“I find that hard to believe since I caught you sneaking downstairs for one last night.”
“I was thirsty!” I cried in mock offense, but started laughing. She was right. I loved the little energy burst they gave me. It was better than a jolt of coffee.
“Next time—” she pointed to the bathroom across the hall, “—get some water.”
“There isn’t going to be a next time. Kane’s taking me home today.”
She paused in the doorway. “Don’t think I haven’t already gone over the regimen with him.”
I nodded, knowing full well she wasn’t kidding. Bea had played the part of Nurse Ratchet while she was in charge of my health. I’d been on a strict diet, combined with short walks down the hall to get my strength back, and she’d kept all my friends away except Kat and Kane. Between Mom and Gwen hovering, she said my dance card was already full.
A small stab of apprehension ran through me at the thought of leaving. I was safe here. No rogue demons or angels could get to me. If I lived another hundred years, I’d be satisfied to never see any of them again. Except for Lailah. She’d grown on me.
After Bea left, I rose and took a shower. The glorious hot water worked wonders on my bed-worn muscles. Sure, I’d taken short walks, but a week in bed was too long…at least, it was when it didn’t involve a gorgeous, naked man doing unspeakable things to you.
I grinned. Kane had started to enter my dreams again. After what we’d done in the dreamwalk the few nights before, I couldn’t wait to get him out of his clothes and horizontal somewhere. Preferably not a bed.
I packed in record time, which wasn’t saying much, considering all I had was pajamas, one pair of jeans, and a T-shirt Mom had brought me the night before. Lugging the small suitcase down the stairs proved to be much more difficult. By the time I got to the bottom step, I was sweating and winded.
“Way to overdo it,” Bea said wryly.
“I have to build up my stamina somehow,” I gasped out.
“You probably should’ve waited.” She nodded toward the window, where I spotted people milling around outside.
I dropped the suitcase and went to investigate.
Kane, Mom, Gwen, Lailah, Dan…and Meri. I froze. “Why is she here?”
Bea came to stand next to me. Gently, she rested her hand on my shoulder. “It’s time to test your soul.”
I didn’t want to. I wanted to go home to Kane’s house and forget anything ever happened. “But I’m not one-hundred percent.”
“That is why today is perfect. You’ll know right away.” She tugged my arm. “Come outside. If anything goes wonky, I’ll stop it. I’ve got a spell or two already set.”
Reluctantly, I let her drag me out the door. Meri stood at the far end of the deck, separating herself from the rest of the group.
Each one of them took turns giving me a hug—except Meri. She stayed where she was. But that wasn’t what unsettled me. Every one of them had touched me, and I hadn’t sensed any emotion.
Something wasn’t right. I’d never gone a day in my life without being privy to someone’s emotions.
Inside Bea’s house, I’d come to the conclusion that she’d put a ward on my room to silence my visitor’s emotions. But here I was, outside, in a circle of the people most open to me, and I couldn’t feel anything. Not from Kane, Kat, or even Gwen. Frowning, I tried to send out my awareness and found I couldn’t grasp on to anything. I concentrated harder, scrunching my face up in the process.
Kane put his finger on my brow, smoothing it out. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t feel anything,” I whispered. “I mean, no emotions. My empath ability is broken.” A sense of loss seized me. Just like when I’d given up my coven leadership to Lucien. Except this was a
thousand times worse. I’d always had the ability to feel those around me. My sixth sense had literally vanished.
He draped an arm around me. “You’re probably just still healing. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll come back.”
“I don’t think so,” Meri said from behind us, and I jumped higher than a cat in a frying pan.
“Geez, Meri. Give us a warning next time,” I said.
“You didn’t know she was there?” Kane asked, confusion written all over his face.
“No. I told you. I can’t feel anyone.”
Kane must have finally gotten used to that little quirk. The ability to sense emotions means I’m usually hyper-aware of the people around me.
“I can,” Meri said.
I spun to look her in the eye. “You’re an empath.”
“I am now…or so it seems.” Her tone implied she wasn’t happy about the new development.
“Holy cripes!” Kat said, grabbing Dan’s arm. “Did you know that?”
He nodded. “Yeah, we think she got it from Jade.”
Holy cripes was right. Somehow my ability had transferred to Meri during the soul exchange. Jesus, could I still use magic? Panic seized my brain, and I frantically searched for my magical spark. The power jolted in my chest, sending a ripple of current through my limbs. I let out a long relieved sigh. At least that wasn’t broken.
“Oh my God,” Kat said in a hushed tone, coming to the same conclusion I had. “Do you think it’s permanent?”
Meri shrugged. “I hope not. Being exposed to everyone’s emotional state isn’t my idea of a great time.”
I couldn’t disagree with her. The gift was a burden, and my week had been blissfully quiet. Still, I didn’t feel like myself without my unique ability. What else had she gotten from me? I could still do magic, but could she? “Does this mean you’re a witch now that you have part of my soul?”
Meri shook her head. “No. When you almost destroyed me and sent me back to hell, you actually only destroyed the demon part of me. I don’t know what I was then. But once I ended up with part of your soul, I morphed back into an angel. The council reinstated me just this morning.”