Correlated

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Correlated Page 3

by Shaun Gallagher


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  24% of people have run a marathon, or are interested in running one.

  But among those with a positive opinion about breast implants, 37% have run a marathon, or are interested in running one.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to have a positive opinion about breast implants if you both:

  consider yourself to have very little shame

  prefer to read white text on a black background more than black text on a white background

  NO CORRELATION

  People with a positive opinion about breast implants are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  own flannel clothing

  have served as a best man or maid of honor

  be up to date on their tetanus shots

  Broken Bones

  66% of people enjoy role-playing games.

  But among those who have broken a bone, only 56% enjoy role-playing games.

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  24% of people have posters on their bedroom wall.

  But among those who have broken a bone, only 14% have posters on their bedroom wall.

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  42% of people carry around a pocketknife.

  But among those who have broken a bone, 52% carry around a pocketknife.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to have broken a bone if you both:

  say you aren’t a coward

  are a good Frisbee thrower

  NO CORRELATION

  People who have broken a bone are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  apply antiperspirant at night, rather than in the morning

  regularly participate in sweepstakes and other giveaways

  like having their feet massaged

  Bruising

  40% of people think Joe Biden is more likely than the Obama girls to one day end up on a reality show.

  But among those who bruise easily, 54% think Joe Biden is more likely than the Obama girls to one day end up on a reality show.

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  35% of people have read one of William Faulkner’s works.

  But among those who bruise easily, 47% have read one of William Faulkner’s works.

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  57% of people describe their temperament as unflappable.

  But among those who bruise easily, only 46% describe their temperament as unflappable.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to bruise easily if you both:

  would drink Tang only under duress

  like to use exclamation points!!!

  NO CORRELATION

  People who bruise easily are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  dislike dishes that are seasoned with rosemary

  have been good sleepers when they were babies

  prefer trashy reality TV over inspirational and uplifting reality TV

  Bumper Stickers

  59% of people have square danced.

  But among those with bumper stickers on their vehicle, 73% have square danced.

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  59% of people own thrift-store clothing.

  But among those with bumper stickers on their vehicle, 74% own thrift-store clothing.

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  65% of people have eaten venison.

  But among those with bumper stickers on their vehicle, 78% have eaten venison.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to have bumper stickers on your vehicle if you both:

  have donated to a political campaign

  have a very symmetrical face

  NO CORRELATION

  People with bumper stickers on their vehicle are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  tap their foot to the music

  say their primary home computer is not a laptop

  have tried to raise Sea-Monkeys

  Burping at Will

  54% of people say that, when entering a chilly pool, they jump in and get it over with rather than wading in little by little.

  But among those who can burp at will, 65% jump in and get it over with rather than wading in little by little.

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  70% of people like to write lists.

  But among those who can burp at will, only 61% like to write lists.

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  33% of people have a crown on one or more of their teeth.

  But among those who can burp at will, 42% have a crown on one or more of their teeth.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to be able to burp at will if you both:

  don’t get your hair cut at a salon

  like rock candy

  NO CORRELATION

  People who can burp at will are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  have used a fake ID

  have acted dumber than they actually are to improve their social standing

  prefer to have a beautiful obituary over a beautiful gravestone

  Bury vs. Flush

  47% of people have never gotten a speeding ticket.

  But among those who are more likely to bury than flush a dead fish, 61% have never gotten a speeding ticket.

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  33% of people say Roger Ebert was their favorite film critic.

  But among those who are more likely to bury than flush a dead fish, only 21% say Roger Ebert was their favorite film critic.

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  33% of people want their obituary photo to be of “young them,” rather than “old them,” if they live to be old.

  But among those who are more likely to bury than flush a dead fish, 42% want their obituary photo to be of “young them.”

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to bury rather than flush a dead fish if you both:

  aren’t good at keeping a straight face when you’re pulling someone’s leg

  have darker skin than others of your ethnicity

  NO CORRELATION

  People who are more likely to bury than flush a dead fish are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  say they would not agree to work a midnight-to-8-a.m. shift for the next 10 years, even if the pay were $1 million a year

  prefer mittens over gloves

  own domain names

  Business Cards

  47% of people own jazz albums.

  But among those who have business cards, 60% own jazz albums.

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  57% of people have eaten in a diner at 4 a.m.

  But among those who have business cards, 69% have eaten in a diner at 4 a.m.

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  46% of people have looked at NSFW stuff at work.

  But among those who have business cards, 57% have looked at NSFW stuff at work.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to have business cards if you both:

  can drive stick shift

  have had your wisdom teeth extracted

  NO CORRELATION

  People who have business cards are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  keep a diary/journal

  have worked in the healthcare industry

  be more likely to sleep on their right side

  Camping

  50% of people dislike extra chunky pasta sauce.

  But among those who don’t enjoy camping, 64% dislike extra chunky pasta sauce.

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  44% of people aren’t good at making paper airplanes.

  But among those who don’t enjoy campin
g, 56% aren’t good at making paper airplanes.

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  39% of people would rather save up for an extravagant vacation than do a series of several more modest mini vacations.

  But among those who don’t enjoy camping, 50% would rather save up for an extravagant vacation than do a series of several more modest mini vacations.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to dislike camping if you both:

  have never run a marathon and have no interest in running one

  don’t like asparagus

  NO CORRELATION

  People who don’t enjoy camping are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  have lost more dignity than money while trying to impress a crush

  prefer to place takeout orders online

  have a positive opinion about breast implants

  Cat Lovers

  42% of people find it difficult to explain to people what kind of work they do.

  But among those who like cats more than dogs, only 31% find it difficult to explain to people what kind of work they do.

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  45% of people say that when entering a chilly pool, they wade in little by little rather than jumping in and getting it over with.

  But among those who like cats more than dogs, 56% wade in little by little rather than jumping in and getting it over with.

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  71% of people believe it’s possible to be a woman born in a man’s body, or vice versa.

  But among those who like cats more than dogs, 81% believe it’s possible to be a woman born in a man’s body, or vice versa.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to like cats more than dogs if you both:

  believe women should be subject to the draft

  don’t often pronounce the T in often

  NO CORRELATION

  Cat lovers are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  floss regularly

  say the person they are in love with is not in love with them

  prefer their brownies without nuts

  Cheating

  38% of people have been cheated on.

  But among those who have cheated on someone, 69% have been cheated on.

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  39% of people have business cards.

  But among those who have cheated on someone, 55% have business cards.

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  28% of people have dated someone who was totally out of their league.

  But among those who have cheated on someone, 39% have dated someone who was totally out of their league.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to have cheated on someone if you both:

  prefer chemistry to physics

  are good about turning off lights when you leave a room

  NO CORRELATION

  People who have cheated on someone are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  be vegetarians

  not join in the Black Friday shopping frenzy

  say their favorite film is based on a book

  Checkers vs. Chess

  46% of people have dyed their hair.

  But among those who prefer checkers to chess, 60% have dyed their hair.

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  51% of people think they would be better off if they weren’t so stubborn.

  But among those who prefer checkers to chess, 63% think they would be better off if they weren’t so stubborn.

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  61% of people think they’d make good criminals, if their conscience weren’t a factor.

  But among those who prefer checkers to chess, only 50% think they’d make good criminals, if their conscience weren’t a factor.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to prefer checkers to chess if you both:

  are not an engineer

  think that fooling kids into thinking that Santa is real is a harmless fib

  NO CORRELATION

  People who prefer checkers to chess are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  think Delaware should cease to be a state and become a suburb of Philadelphia

  say their mother was under 30 when they were born

  dislike yogurt

  Chef vs. Maid

  60% of people say they could never be in a relationship with a smoker.

  But among those who would rather have a personal chef than a maid, 72% say they could never be in a relationship with a smoker.

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  66% of people dislike Nickelback more than Avril Lavigne.

  But among those who would rather have a personal chef than a maid, 78% dislike Nickelback more than Avril Lavigne.

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  55% of people think that restricting the definition of marriage to only two people discriminates against those in polygamous and polyamorous relationships.

  But among those who would rather have a personal chef than a maid, 65% think that restricting the definition of marriage to only two people discriminates against those in polygamous and polyamorous relationships.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to want a personal chef rather than a maid if you both:

  say your kindergarten teacher would have described you as self-reliant and resilient

  prefer to sip your cold beverages through a straw

  NO CORRELATION

  People who would rather have a personal chef than a maid are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  find freckled faces to be attractive

  be good with kids

  think the mainstream media have a liberal bias

  Chicken Pox

  39% of people say they have an above-average libido.

  But among those who haven’t had chicken pox, 69% say they have an above-average libido.

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  32% of people dislike cauliflower.

  But among those who haven’t had chicken pox, 58% dislike cauliflower.

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  30% of people say the person they are in love with is not in love with them.

  But among those who haven’t had chicken pox, 50% say the person they are in love with is not in love with them.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to not have had chicken pox if you both:

  tend to micromanage when you’re in a leadership role

  have never witnessed a meteor shower

  NO CORRELATION

  People who haven’t had chicken pox are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  be good at haggling

  say they’d rather have a smiley face than an interrobang as a designated key on their keyboard

  have a hard time with who vs. whom

  Chiropractic Patients

  43% of people think a loud baby is more tolerable than a loud dog.

  But among those who have visited a chiropractor, 57% think a loud baby is more tolerable than a loud dog.

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  57% of people would rather be friends with Prince William than with Prince Harry.

  But among those who have visited a chiropractor, 69% would rather be friends with Prince William than with Prince Harry.

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  73% of people are not fastidious about locking the bathroom door.

  But among those who have visited a chiropractor, 85% are not fastidious about locking the bathroom door.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to have visited a chiropractor if you both:

  have seen a therapist

 
have been under general anesthesia

  NO CORRELATION

  People who have visited a chiropractor are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  like marshmallows in their hot chocolate

  have had asthma

  be able to burp at will

  Classical Music

  31% of people think they can hold their breath longer than the average person.

  But among those who don’t like classical music, 49% think they can hold their breath longer than the average person.

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  61% of people prefer a combination lock, rather than a lock with a key, for their locker.

  But among those who don’t like classical music, only 43% prefer a combination lock for their locker.

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  62% of people say they are very good at most things that interest them.

 

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