by Robin Roseau
I laughed. "I think I might."
"Pity," she said, stepping away to announce dinner.
* * * *
"You seem to be popular," Kiki whispered to me. "You have about a dozen hand prints on your ass."
"No one has been brave enough to fondle the ladies," I said, cupping my own chest.
She laughed. "I want to know why suddenly I'm facing all this stiff competition."
"I think Liah's making trouble. We should get her before she can make more."
"Yeah, as long as you're an initiate, she's not the one we get. Hey, how about asking for a little hazing, right here, right now."
"Yeah, no, I don't think quite yet. Maybe next week. We'll see."
* * * *
Mrs. Grafton gave her report about me, with me sitting front and center on the stool. I could swear it was the same stool. I wondered if it made the rounds or if they each had one like it. Then she asked if anyone wished to speak on my behalf.
There was a pause, and Mrs. Grafton was just about to open her mouth to continue, perhaps, when Kiki held up her hand.
"Ms. Furman?"
"Are junior members allowed to speak?"
"Of course."
So Kiki stood and moved to the center of the room, between me and the women, or at least some of the women, that I was sure made up a sort of senior committee within the order.
"When I heard we were considering Blythe as a member in our order," Kiki said. "I had reservations. A few of you heard some of those reservations. I did not flat out say no, but I wasn't sure I wished a closer relationship with her than I already had, and we can't be in this order without a certain closeness."
She turned around as she spoke, and then I saw her back. "One of you asked me to give her an honest opportunity. And so I did my best to do so. I am exceedingly grateful this woman counseled me." She turned to face me. "Blythe has become a trusted friend, and I have seen a hint, perhaps more than a hint, of her mettle. I wanted everyone here to know that any reservations I may have had are long gone, and I welcome my friend here with the warmest of open arms."
Then she stepped over and hugged me.
"Thank you," I whispered. We exchanged cheek kisses.
Then she stepped away. "That being said, I am obligated this month to give her a blue marble, and so I shall, but if I could give her a red, I would."
"Will you explain why?" Mrs. Grafton said.
Kiki turned around. "Because I am afraid."
"Of what, pray tell?"
She turned back to face me. "Our friendship is new. I wish it to grow deeper. I worry if we let up on her now, her focus will return to her job, and she won't call me in a panic to come over and give her a hug."
"Kiki," I said. "Seriously?"
She shrugged, then grinned. "And I want more of those foot massages I got from you."
I laughed. "That I can believe."
"They're so much more enjoyable when you're obligated to give them," she grinned.
Then she hugged me again, and I told her she was a brat.
Kiki sat down, and Mrs. Grafton stood back up. "Ms. Furman, we thank you for the first half of your comments, but I am not quite sure what to make of the second half." She looked around. "Does anyone else wish to speak?"
Opal stood up, and Mrs. Grafton called on her.
"I'm not going to be quite so lovey dovey as Ms. Cross," she said. "But I will say I heartily endorse Ms. Todd."
A few other women spoke equally briefly, all of them in support. I didn't know if it was necessary for what was to happen, but it felt nice.
"Ms. Todd," Mrs. Grafton said once it was clear everyone had spoken who so intended. "Do you wish to say a few words?"
I stood from the stool and looked around. "I don't have anything eloquent to say. I only wish to express gratitude for being here, and gratitude towards those who have helped me or offered advice. The list is too lengthy to iterate, but it includes most who are here."
I moved around a little, coming to a stop in front of Mrs. Franklin. "Will you tell me why you haven't yet acted on my offer?"
"Maybe I have, but you haven't noticed yet. That is all I will say." Then she narrowed her eyes. "Don't ask again, and don't ask anyone else again."
I bowed my head. "Of course. I mean no disrespect."
"Of course you don't," she replied. "I only wished absolute clarity."
"Thank you," I said. I moved away. "Two months ago, I was told I would value the red marbles I have earned. I am not sure I have yet learned their value, but that is because they represent only a minor change to what was already a large part of my life. Perhaps that is not as true with everyone else." I paused, finding Opal in the group. "That statement shouldn't be taken too far." I came to a stop in front of her. "As I have grown to know one or two of you far better than I might have otherwise, and I wouldn't trade that away."
She smiled at me and nodded.
"I will tell you what I do value, and perhaps this will surprise you."
I turned in a slow circle.
"I value the friends I have made, that I probably wouldn't have made without the hazing." I gestured to Kiki, Claudine, and Mary Ellen. "I value the conversations I have had, that I probably wouldn't otherwise have had." I came to a stop in front of the judge when I said that. "I can't imagine ever approaching you, before, and maybe I am misinterpreting now, but I don't believe I would hesitate in the future."
She inclined her head. "And you shouldn't hesitate," she said. "No one here should feel any of us is unapproachable."
"That is easy to say, but when you are my age, barely started out, it is hard to see you and believe that."
"And yet, you should."
"I know. Thank you, Judge."
She inclined her head again.
"I guess that's all I have to say. No, wait." I looked around once more, my hands under my chin in a praying motion. "Please be kind."
That generated some laughter and a few instances of, "As if," or "Not from this group".
I resumed my seat.
Mrs. Grafton stood. "Well, you continue to surprise us, Ms. Todd. I was not expecting your comments regarding the hazing. And do you feel you have gained value from my prank?"
"I lost two pounds," I said. "But I fear it was water weight." That generated laughter, but the woman in question narrowed her eyes. "I believe there was, perhaps, a lesson in your prank, but I am not sure it has fully landed." I briefly considered saying something funny, but I wasn't sure she was in the mood for it, and I knew nothing I said could help my position, but I could easily hurt it.
"It's an obvious lesson," said Mrs. Shaffer. "Beware of little old ladies delivering chocolate."
Mrs. Grafton's gaze turned to Mrs. Shaffer. The woman didn't wilt, not in the slightest. I waited a moment. "There is one lesson," I said. "I couldn't say if it were intentional."
"Oh?" Mrs. Grafton said, returning her gaze to me.
"One is never too old to be young. I don't know if that was an intentional message, but it's one to hang onto, lest one become old well before one reaches the grave."
She smiled broadly and nodded. Then she looked around. "Does anyone else wish to speak?" She did a full circle. "Then we will vote."
And then I sat, wringing my hands, as woman after woman moved to the table and deposited a marble into the hat. This time I was listening carefully, and I heard a few women drop more than one. I said nothing. Finally, the last woman having voted, Judge Wren collected the hat and the three martini glasses. And one at a time, she pulled marbles from the hat.
Most were blue. I had earned twelve blue marbles, guaranteed. But there were decidedly more than five red marbles as well, and the final count was seven red, seventeen blue, and that was after the judge removed a red marble and replaced it with a blue one. Liah was again a free agent.
And one white.
I stared at the martini glass the judge held in her hand. I stared at the single white marble.
I'm not sure
I was the only one.
At first, no one spoke, perhaps waiting for my response.
"A white marble."
"So it appears," said the judge. "But white, not black. Do you know the difference?"
I nodded. "There were no white marbles two months ago."
"There were not," she agreed.
"And so, someone has decided she no longer wishes me to join this order."
"That is not necessarily true," the judge said. "Someone may have come to this conclusion. Someone could be sending you a message. Someone could be feeling neglected, and may be suggesting you aren't spreading your attention sufficiently widely. Or someone could simply be teasing you, confident there wouldn't be four more white marbles beside this one."
I stood up and stepped to stand in front of the judge. I took the glass from her, stared into it, then withdrew the white marble. No one said a word. I looked around the room. "Does the woman who voted with this marble wish to express herself more clearly?"
I looked around, and no one said a word. Finally I dropped the marble back into the glass and returned it to the judge.
"I would hope that if I have offended someone, she would have the courage to tell me to my face." Then I shrugged. There was no reason to belabor the point. "We are 26 in total, and so if 24 of you wish me here, and one does not, then I grieve for the one but rejoice in the remaining 24."
Then I took the glass of red marbles. "I believe these are mine. Do we have a count?"
"Seven," said the judge. I nodded, but I was going to have a busy month.
* * * *
"Mrs. Grafton, I wonder if I might have a moment of your time."
"Of course." She led me into the judge's den, closing the door. We turned to face each other.
"Don't ask about the white marble."
I put my hand on my hip. "You may do what you want with what I am about to say, and if that means an immediate revote with a glass filled all in black, so be it. If the woman who gave me a white marble is messing with me, that's fine. I can take it. If she's trying to deliver a message, she is being too subtle, and I'm not going to try to guess what she wants. Perhaps it is as the judge suggested, but I don't know what I could possibly do differently than I have."
"Ms. Todd-"
"But if that was a serious vote, an honest desire I not be admitted into this organization, then when I give that woman her additional seven hours, on top of any I have not yet paid her, they better not be of a personal nature, or she is a two-faced, scheming bitch."
"Ms. Todd!"
"If that marble was not yours-"
"It wasn't."
"Then nothing I have said applies to you, but if you are so offended by my words, then go retrieve a black marble and hand it to me. I'm not backing down."
She said nothing for a good thirty seconds, and I stood there, my gaze locked with hers, not remotely intimidated. Finally she nodded. "There will be no black marbles from me," she said. "And I can appreciate the sentiment. You seem to be somewhat more upset than you let on earlier."
"I'm not upset that someone doesn't like me. I'd be a fool to think everyone is going to like me. I don't know how you can assemble this many people and not have some personality conflicts. But the way this is done leaves me wondering who. If it's someone I barely know, well, I'm not sure how much I care. But if it's someone who was patting my bottom tonight, I would be livid. Personally, if it's an honest vote to get rid of me, then the only honorable thing for her to do is also leave me alone entirely. We can interact professionally, but she shouldn't be involved in any further hazings. She shouldn't act like a friend. And she sure as hell better not fondle my bottom."
"And if that marble represents something else?"
"Then I hope she'll speak more clearly, and nothing else I said should apply."
She nodded. Then she opened and closed her mouth twice before finally speaking. "I will tell you, the junior members are allowed to vote with a white marble at the first meeting, the one two months ago. But they are not allowed to use the white marbles afterwards."
"So it's not one of the junior members, unless she cheated."
"Correct, and I do not believe anyone would dare cheat."
"Do you have a way to delivery my message, and will you do so?"
"Of course."
"Thank you. Are you upset with me?"
"No. It took courage to speak your mind to me. Why me?"
"Easy. I was sure it wasn't yours."
"Why is that?"
"Because if you wanted me gone, you would be more direct. Thank you, Mrs. Grafton." And I kissed her cheek before leaving.
Continuation
The judge got me on Monday. It was while I was running errands for Ms. Roman. I returned to my car, parked outside a small shop in Broadwater, to find a bright yellow boot attached to the front wheel of my car.
I stared at it. I'd seen them in movies, but I didn't think we even used them here. I'd never seen one in person.
It took me a minute to realize what had happened. I thought I remembered you could get these in New York City if you had unpaid parking fines. To the best of my knowledge, I didn't.
And that led me to think about the people who might have the sort of power required to do this for other reasons, which led me straight to the only woman with an open invitation to prank me.
I called the judge's number.
"Good afternoon, Judge Wren," I said. "Might I have a moment of your time. It's Blythe Todd."
"Of course, Ms. Todd," she said. "How are you today."
"I'm good, but I seem to have a small transportation issue."
She didn't laugh. She didn't do anything to indicate she knew what I was talking about. And so I described the boot on my car.
"Are you calling me to fix a traffic ticket for you, Ms. Todd?"
"I am calling to see if you can guide me in having it removed."
"If it gets to the point where your car is booted, then you have been sufficiently naughty that you must visit a judge to pay your fine. Let me check your records. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap."
Yes, she really said, "Tap".
"Ah, here we are. Yes. Oh, you have been quite delinquent, Ms. Todd."
"Does it say of what I am accused."
"The list is lengthy, I'm afraid. And yes, you must visit a judge."
"I see. And are you able to guide me as to the location of this judge? I would prefer to see this resolved sooner rather than later."
"I can arrange a court date for you. Tap. Tap. Type type. Tap. Ah, here we go. How about next Thursday at 11?"
"Unless there is a means of unlocking my car immediately, on promise of attending court next Thursday, is it possible to find an earlier appointment?"
"You understand a judge's time is quite precious. Are you sure you wish to treat this issue with such haste?"
"Oh, I'm sure."
"Well then. Tap tap. Tap. Ah, yes, an opening."
"An immediate opening?"
"Oh, no. I'm afraid not. This opening is for Friday at one."
I sighed. "I would be very grateful if you were able to ask a favor on my behalf."
"Oh, I can try. Judge. Would you grant a small favor?" She paused. "Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Oh my. All right. Yes. I'll tell her."
I sighed again.
"The judge is willing to see you in her home."
"That is very generous of her."
"But she points out this is an intrusion into her personal time."
"Of course it is."
"A small gift would ease the pain of lost personal time."
"Does the judge recommend a particular gift?"
"A bottle of red would do nicely. A particularly nice bottle."
"This seems a little..."
"It's a bribe, plain and simple," she said. "On the other hand, the judge intends to share the bottle."
"Oh. Really?"
"Really. Do you need guidance selecting a proper bottle? I believe you are near a very good bottle
shop."
"You know, I could use guidance." I headed for the bottle shop, in the same strip mall. Then I let the judge guide me to the French wines. She knew exactly what she wanted.
"Will this be drinkable so soon?"
"It will need to be decanted, but yes."
I grabbed the bottle, then I asked, "Judge Wren?"
"Yes, Ms. Todd?"
"I presume I am picking up a very good bottle, and not just an expensive bottle."
"You are."
I grabbed a basket and then added three more of the same wine. The bill was more than I'd ever paid for wine before, but I realized I was moving in more rarified circles, and I wanted to be prepared.
"When is my appointment?"
"The judge suggested tonight in her home at 7:30. She requests evening wear."
"I'll be there. Do you have suggestions for how I am to get home?"
"Perhaps it is a fine day for a walk." Then, laughing, she clicked off.
A fine day for a walk. I sighed and called Kiki. No answer. Claudine. No answer. Then I received a text from the judge.
"I said a walk."
"Right," I said. "A walk. With the things for Ms. Roman and the four bottles of wine. I should have just gotten one."
* * * *
I wore a little black dress and short boots, but then I chose to drive Grandmother Cadence's car. It was just next door, but in West Hollow, 'next door' was still a half mile walk, it was winter, and I was wearing an LBD.
I made sure to arrive five minutes early. She kept me cooling my heels, so to speak, at her front gate before it opened, precisely at 7:30. I drove up and parked, then presented myself to the door carrying the wine, wrapped in a pine box I remembered from the basement, and a small bouquet of flowers. The judge answered the bell, smiled, and stepped aside, letting me in.
"Ms. Todd," she said.
"Judge Wren. Thank you for seeing me."
"You have a spare automobile."
"Did I ruin your fun? A half mile like this..." I opened my coat.
"No, it's fine. Come in."
"For you," I said, offering her both gifts. "For your trouble."
"How kind," she replied. She set them aside, hung my coat for me, and I stepped out of the boots. Then I followed her to the kitchen to see to the flowers and watch her decant the wine.