by Robin Roseau
"How would you kill off the mayor," Kiki asked Sylvia just as I stepped up. She glanced at me and slipped an arm around my waist. I laid my head on her shoulder for a moment before listening to Sylvia slowly devise some horrid way to murder the mayor of our village.
It was quite gruesome and surreal.
* * * *
"Blythe." I turned to Liah. "You're wanted."
"It's rough being this popular, with a body like mine," I said. "Who wants me now?"
"The old biddies," she said. "Downstairs. Ms. Shaffer sent me for you, but she said you're to find your way alone."
"Shit. I've pissed them off somehow."
"No, I don't think so." But she hugged me. "For luck."
I didn't have any trouble finding the basement stairs, and it only took a minute or two before I knocked at the open door to the basement meeting room. Five pair of eyes turned to me, and I wasn't terribly surprised whom I found.
"Come in, Ms. Todd," said Ms. Shaffer. "Close the door behind you."
I did as I was told, coming to a stop in front of them. Along with Ms. Shaffer were, of course, Mrs. Grafton, Mrs. Franklin, Judge Wren, and Mrs. Everest. I was facing the senior members of the order, the ones who could give me a black ball, for instance.
"Ms. Todd," said Ms. Shaffer. "Something has come to our attention. We understand your initiation rituals have become a burden for you."
"Begging your pardon, ma'am, but I have never said any such thing."
"No, you haven't," said Wilba Everest. "I did."
"Oh."
"Quite," said Ms. Shaffer. "We wish to state something quite clearly. It has never been our intention to drive you to the point you must choose between three competing priorities."
"Three? My business and the order..."
"And your health," Ms. Shaffer provided. "Our initiation process has not changed in 50 years, but as the order has grown, the burden on new initiates grows exponentially. Not only does a red marble represent 20 hours where it once represented 5, but there are far more women who can vote with a red marble. Furthermore, a request for hazing tends to involve a smaller percentage of the members of the order, decreasing the effectiveness while at the same time nearly demanding an initiate invite more hazing than was once done."
She paused, and I didn't say anything. But I'd thought about all of this.
"There is an additional complication," she continued. "There are currently five junior members. Because we anticipated our invitation to you, and because we recognize the increased burden a full member represents to a new initiate, we have delayed the vote that would raise some of those junior members to full members. That is unfair to them, but I suspect if I asked the women affected, they wouldn't be terribly upset."
"Who?"
"I won't say at this time. We cannot delay this much longer."
"I'm sorry to be so much trouble."
"You aren't. It is our process that must change. Unfortunately, it is not something we care to rush."
"I understand completely. I am not sure where that leaves me."
"We wonder if you could meet us halfway?"
"Mrs. Shaffer, I haven't asked for any compromises at all. I'm not about to."
"No, you haven't," she said. "But what were the words? I believe you stated the order was forcing you to pick between the order and your business, that you had already sacrificed more sleep than is remotely healthy, and if it lasted much longer, we could guess which choice you would eventually make."
I lowered my eyes. "I shouldn't have said that." But then I glanced at Wilba Everest. "But I also thought that particular conversation was in confidence. My mistake."
"Do you recant what you said?" Mrs. Shaffer asked.
I thought carefully before answering. "I shouldn't have said it."
"And yet that is not what I asked. Do you recant the statement?"
"No."
She offered a brief smile. "Good. You shouldn't. And don't be angry at Wilba. She's looking out for you. That's her responsibility. We're on a path of losing you, and no one wants that. We're here to fix it."
I nodded. "I don't know what you want from me. I can't give you more than I already am."
"We don't want more than you're already giving. As we understand it, it is the combined burden of service hours, satisfying your clients, and marketing for future business that threatened to drive you to physical exhaustion."
"And you want to know if I'll suspend marketing."
"We understand you're already working on a more sustainable plan," she said. And so I knew my conversations with Mary Ellen weren't private, either. I didn't say anything. "We wish you to dramatically reduce your time spent marketing for the immediate future. We wish you to see first to your health, and then your clients, and then the order."
"There are 168 hours in a week," I said. "If one sleeps 7 hours a night, that leaves 119. Using the bathroom, showering, getting dressed each morning, having a morning coffee and an evening dinner... These take time. If one is incredibly efficient, one can perhaps find as many as 110 hours in a week to see to responsibilities like work or the order. The vagaries of life eat some of that. Cars require oil changes. Friends require attention or they stop becoming friends."
"We know all this, Ms. Todd."
"If I am to sleep 7 hours a night, I have at most 40 hours a week to give the order, if I spend no time seeing to the needs of a young business, and only see to the immediate needs of existing clients. No one has offered any indication how much longer the initiation period will last. I am given to believe it is typically far longer than 3 months. I suppose this problem will resolve itself over time. If I don't give attention to marketing now, I won't be spending 60 hours a week servicing clients in another 3 months, and so I'll find a new balance. Is this what you are suggesting?"
"This is why our process has to change," said the judge, I thought to the other women far more than me. "We have known this for years."
"Yes," said Mrs. Franklin. "But we're not going to have that discussion tonight in front of this initiate, and we're not going to rush any changes."
"And so I am left wondering what you wish me to do," I said. "Am I to let my future business suffer? If I am invited because I am an up and comer, as I was told, then perhaps turning me into a down and outer is a poor plan."
"We agree with you, Ms. Todd," Mrs. Shaffer said. "But we also believe membership in our order will be to your long term gain."
"In the form of business thrown my way?"
"I wouldn't have phrased it quite that way, but yes."
"You do understand that's not why I'm even here."
She sighed. "You are a stubborn woman."
"I learned that from my grandmother."
There was a snort, I wasn't sure from whom.
"Will you give us this compromise?" she asked. "It is not permanent."
"Will you give me any indication how long I can expect this to continue?"
"No."
"Three years?"
"No, not remotely that long."
"But longer than tonight."
"Yes, longer than tonight."
I sighed. "I have worked very hard to make myself available to everyone in the order. My efforts in some directions have been thoroughly rebuffed. And some of those women do not give me the opportunity to work off my hours nor take my calls to accept a hazing invitation."
"Yes. We consider that a separate issue."
I sighed. I wasn't happy.
"Do we have an agreement, Ms. Todd? Your health, your customers, the order, your new friends, and then, and only then, additional attention to the marketing needs of your business."
"This can't continue indefinitely."
"Do we have an agreement?"
"Yes. For now."
"Thank you, Ms. Todd. You may return upstairs. The business meeting will begin shortly."
* * * *
The business meeting began as they always did, with an overview of recent projects, status of current project
s, and a summary of upcoming projects. Then Mrs. Grafton stood up.
"As you know, we have a vote scheduled for tonight. However, we will not have just a single vote. We will have more than one." She smiled. "Claudine Grafton, please stand up."
"Me?" Claudine asked, slowly climbing to her feet.
"Front and center, Ms. Grafton," said her grandmother. "Do not make an old lady wait."
"Coming, Grandmother Old Lady," Claudine said, moving around the women in front to take a stance before her grandmother.
"Cheeky girl," said Mrs. Grafton. Then she hugged her granddaughter. There were kisses on the cheeks before she stepped away.
"This is my granddaughter. It is inappropriate for me to speak for her. Does anyone wish to speak?"
In turn, several of the women stood and spoke in the most glowing of terms about Claudine. I thought every comment was well deserved. Ms. Shaffer even, indirectly, referenced me, referring to Claudine's nurturing care of other members of the order.
Claudine listened to it all, her back straight, her head held high, and tears crawling down her cheeks.
None of the junior members spoke.
Finally the last woman had her say, and Mrs. Grafton explained the voting. They were to use the same marbles they used for me, with the same meaning, excepting no service hours were attached to Claudine's marbles, and the members were free to vote freely. There were no guaranteed blue marbles.
The junior members didn't vote. Claudine stood in place, not looking around. And then Mrs. Shaffer collected the hat and distributed martini glasses to hold the marbles. One was significantly larger than the others, and that was the glass that took the blue marbles.
When it was done, that was the only glass that held so much as a single marble. Claudine was unanimously voted to become a full member of the Order of Circe. She stood numbly, accepting the applause, then the congratulations, then, one by one, hugs from each of us. My turn came last, and I kissed her cheek, congratulated her, and thanked her for her help.
"They should have waited," she whispered. "I knew they were waiting. I was pissed at first, but not after I got to know you. They should have waited."
"No," I said. "You deserve this."
I released her, and she took a seat -- a seat, not a position of standing in back.
Mrs. Grafton waited until the room quieted, and then she stood again. "Hope Hart," she called out. She pointed to a place in front of her. "Front and center, please."
The process for Hope was nearly identical to that for Claudine, although the speakers and the words were different. But in the end, the voting was nearly the same.
Except Claudine very carefully held up her blue marble for all to see before she dropped it into the hat.
"There is to be one more vote before we reach the one you all expected," Mrs. Grafton said. "Sylvia Appleton, front and center."
"No," said Sylvia in a small voice. "You can't."
"Ms. Appleton, front and center!"
"But-"
Mrs. Grafton stabbed her finger towards the floor in front of her. Sylvia slowly worked her way into place, protesting the entire way.
"You can't. I can't. I can't lead committees. My god, I'd get lost in a book and actually kill off the lot of you!"
That generated snickers, but I wondered if it wasn't true.
"We're aware of the difficulties, Ms. Appleton." Then she looked around. "This woman represents a special case. You just heard why. She's right. Not everyone in this order is destined to serve the same needs. Ms. Appleton is hopelessly unsuited for any more responsibilities than we already give her."
"So can I just go back to the back row?" Sylvia asked. "Please don't kick me out!"
"We have no intention of kicking you out, Ms. Appleton. The voting for Ms. Appleton will be somewhat different than the previous two votes. Perhaps you noticed the addition of a new supply of marbles tonight. The remaining marbles retain their standard meaning, but a green marble is a vote to accept Ms. Appleton as a full member, with all the rights implied thereof, but an altered list of responsibilities. And I believe we are now going to hear what responsibilities we could expect Ms. Appleton to accept."
Five women spoke. They talked about how Sylvia was always quick with financial support. They talked about her appearance at this event or that reading. Two mentioned how they had personally been immortalized in one of Sylvia's books, earning chuckles. A few mentioned that you couldn't count on Sylvia in the traditional sense, because once she began writing, she lost track of the outside world. Instead, if you wanted Sylvia to make an event, you stopped by her house, checked to see if she could even be pulled away from her writing, and then drove her to the event in question.
"We all understand this," said Mrs. Franklin. "Every one of us understands this is our Sylvia, and I for one wouldn't see her change one single iota. My marble will be green."
Then Mrs. Grafton stood. "This vote is perhaps controversial. This vote should perhaps have been allowed lengthier discussion. But we've all seen this coming, and so tonight we vote. It is time."
And so, they voted. Claudine and Hope both showed their green marbles. When it was done, the vote was not unanimous, and I don't think that surprised everyone. There were four red marbles, two blue, and the remainder green.
An emotional but clearly stunned Sylvia was congratulated all around.
"You get more of my time now," I whispered to her. "I'm going to enjoy serving you."
She laughed and hugged me tighter. "You said it that way on purpose."
"Yes, I did."
* * * *
I sat on the stool and listened to several of the women speak of me. They each spoke kindly, glowingly, but it was the judge's words that meant the most to me. She finished her speech with the words, "I have made a new friend, one I cherish immensely." Then she stepped up to me, invited me from the stool, and hugged me tightly.
There were chuckles when her hand slipped down and clutched my ass. It turned into outright laughter when mine moved down to hers.
"I thought I'd seen everything," said Raquel Boone. "Judge Wren fondling a woman. I never in my life expected to see that."
"She's a good fondler," I said. "Although she requires additional practice."
The judge returned me to my stool and resumed her seat. Then Ms. Shaffer asked if I wished to speak.
I stood back up and said, "I think I'll let my actions over the last few months -- and last few minutes -- speak for me." And I sat back down.
I may have surprised Ms. Shaffer. It took her a moment to stand again. "Well. Brief, but I believe far more eloquent than the mere words suggest." She inclined her head to me. Then she looked around. "We are not quite ready to vote. I haven't spoken of this candidate, but now I will."
She then talked about how I had been helping the order since I was a young girl, first because I was given little choice, but then as I became an adult, far more wholeheartedly. She talked about the vigor I used in my pursuit of everything I did.
And then she talked about the price I'd been paying. The room grew very still.
"We are not ready to change our process," she said. "But we're on the verge of losing this woman, either due to a nervous breakdown or because she finally is forced to choose between her burgeoning business and this order. This is complicated by her stubborn insistence on building her business through her own hard work rather than relying on the implied nepotism this room represents."
That generated some nervous laughter.
"We have asked for a compromise. Ms. Todd will meet us halfway. But now we must decide if we will also meet her halfway."
She looked around. "I propose two votes. The first is in consideration of a motion. I move we temporarily extend our voting process for this particular initiate to incorporate the green marbles. Either a red or a green marble indicates the initiation period will continue, but only a red marble represents additional service hours. Furthermore, anyone currently obligated to vote with a red ma
rble may vote with either a red or a green marble. This is a temporary change to our process, a trial run so to speak, while we seek ways to amend our process to retain the spirit -- and duration -- from the past, while reducing the burden to a more managed level."
She looked around. "Discussion?"
It was fierce, divided fairly evenly between, "This is a good change to consider," and, "We should have more time before we so precipitously change decades of our customs".
Finally Mrs. Shaffer stood. "I believe everyone has spoken who wishes to speak, and we're now hearing the same arguments. Ms. Todd, I would ask you a question. Does this change meet you halfway?"
"Yes, Mrs. Shaffer. Thank you."
"I wish to speak one final time," said Judge Wren.
"Of course, Harriet," Mrs Shaffer said. "The floor is yours."
The judge stood. She was brief. "I have already stated my opinion on this change. I won't repeat myself. I will, however, ask a question. Do we want to lose Ms. Todd? This is not a permanent decision we make today. But do we want to lose Ms. Todd? I for one do not. Of course, I also do not wish to shorten or shortchange our process. I have made a friend I wouldn't otherwise have made, a dear friend, I believe, and that is the purpose of the way we do what we do."
She looked around. "Do we want to lose Ms. Todd? That is what we are voting on."
And then she sat down. Mrs. Shaffer added nothing else except to say, "A red marble is a vote to continue our current process unchanged. A green marble indicates a desire to utilize the new system for the duration of Ms. Todd's initiation period, with further discussion in the future. Please vote."
I, of course, stayed on my stool.
In the end, the count was close. The resolution passed by two votes. And I realized something.
If they hadn't first promoted Claudine, Hope, and Sylvia, who I was sure voted for the resolution, it would have failed. I caught Mrs. Shaffer's eye then looked at the three women in turn, then back to her. She simply smiled sweetly.
Then she stood. "The resolution passes. Thank you very much. As soon as we can return the marbles, we will vote on Ms. Todd's continued initiation period. Claudine and Hope, would you be so kind?"
The two stood, collected the marbles and hat, and returned them to their places on the voting table. Once they were done, Mrs. Shaffer called for the vote for me.