by Robin Roseau
No one responded.
"Of course there are other sensations that you can deliver. Will you trade with me, Hope?"
A moment later I felt a light slap of leather against a foot. "I ask you not to poke her, though. That would be cruel." She slapped me here and there, and I hissed when it was across my breasts, and hissed again when it was between my legs, but then the touch grew feather light, and she stroked me there. I practically went insane.
The touch withdrew.
Opal's tone grew stern. "She stays up there until I am satisfied she has been teased past her ability to bear."
A moment later I heard her sit down. "What's for dinner?"
* * * *
I listened to them eat, not that far below me. Conversation was subdued. I had to imagine I was quite a distraction. I hung limply, squirming only occasionally as I grew increasingly uncomfortable.
From time to time, someone touched me with feathers or leather or metal, but all the touches were fleeting.
Opal said nothing further, and I didn't hear her in conversation with anyone. I knew some people talked about me, but the voices were quiet, whispered, and I was too lost to track any further than that.
Then I heard Ms. Shaffer. "Ms. Pearce, really. Did you have to aim her this way? Ever time I look up, I see that!"
"You have the best seat in the house, Mrs. Shaffer," Opal said. "But if the view is objectionable, I did mention it was an interactive display. Give her a twirl."
"Excuse me?"
"She rotates."
No one said anything, but then I heard Raquel Boone's voice. "Oh for crying out loud." A chair creaked, and then I felt a hand on my leg. A moment later, I was swaying and turning in a slow circle. I came to a rest in a new orientation, swaying slightly.
"Really, Raquel, that doesn't count as a twirl. Give it a good one."
"I don't think so," said Ms. Boone. "I think you should let her down."
"No one is playing," Opal said. "I know several of you want to." No one responded. "Ms. Furman, what do you think of our display?"
"I don't think I care to say."
"Well, I'm not letting her down until she's completely wrung out. She's not going to get there if no one helps her. All that's going to happen is she's going to continue to hurt and to hurt."
There was a pause. "Yes, that would help her, Ms. Furman. Go ahead. See if you find something she likes."
"Blythe?"
"No, no. You don't talk to her. Do that again, and I get to do something she definitely doesn't like. But it was your transgression, and so you must do something she won't like only a little bit. Plan carefully."
"Oh god." But then I felt metal along my ribs, and it poked. I tried to edge away from it, but of course, I couldn't. It ran up and down my side, and a little onto my back, and I squirmed and struggled.
"Very good, Ms. Furman. Don't stop. You'll drive her crazy like that. You'll need to change locations now and then. Eventually her squirms will slow, and then stop, and she'll have surrendered to what you're doing to her."
The metal pulled away.
"Oh, no!" said Opal. "If you stop, I start. Keep going, Ms. Furman."
"Do it," Hope said. And a moment later, the metal was back. I began squirming to escape the needle-sharp points.
"Good," said Opal. "Change that off every now and then until she stops reacting to it. Who is next?"
"Really, Ms. Pearce," said Wilba. "This is enough."
I heard a chair scrape, and then Sylvia began speaking in a low voice. "I do a lot of research for my books. I do a lot of thinking for my books." And then there was a new sensation on the inside of my leg, just a little higher than my knee. It felt like tapping, not quickly, but slowly. First one leg, then as Sylvia spoke, the other. Each time she shifted, the tapping moved higher and higher.
"I get into my own head. Into my own world. I get lost." Her tone became increasingly distant. "I take on the features of my characters." The tapping went higher, and I began squirming from it as much as what Kiki was doing. "But my characters are also a feature of the people in my life." The tapping reached my center, and I went insane again, squirming, struggling, and keening. I panted rapidly around my tongue.
And the tapping continued, moving around a little as it happened.
"Some of my characters are kind," Sylvia said. "Some are cruel. Some are deeply fucked up."
And then the tapping stopped, the leather slowly withdrawing. And I arched my back in frustration, hissing at the loss.
"She's not wrung out yet," Opal said. "You stop now?"
"This lesson isn't for me," Sylvia said. "And it sure as hell isn't for her. Who is it for?"
"Very good question," Opal said.
I heard Sylvia sit back down. "I need to add a new victim to my book, and a new villain. I don't know who they are." Her voice was distant again. "Blythe isn't the victim, and she certainly isn't a villain."
"Then what is she, Sylvia?"
"She is the innocence. She is the purity and the trust. She is devotion."
"And she's love," Kiki said.
"Yes," Sylvia said. "She is the love. She is the friend."
I heard Opal move, and then she was beside me. "Only a little longer, my sweet," she whispered. She released my tongue and gave me water. I swallowed and panted, then swallowed more, and panted. And she didn't have to order me to stick out my tongue. She trapped it again.
"And she is obedience," Opal said. "And beauty, don't you think, Claudine?"
"Yes," whispered Claudine.
"She's also temptation," said the judge.
"Oh, she is definitely temptation," Opal agreed. "And some might think forbidden temptation, but I disagree."
"Of course she's forbidden temptation," Mrs. Shaffer said.
"She represents temptation to you, Mrs. Shaffer?" Opal asked. "Is that because you want to touch her, or because you want to hurt her, and you feel what you want is forbidden?"
Mrs. Shaffer didn't answer.
"Pity," Opal said after a moment. "I think the answer would have been intriguing to hear."
"She's young," Mrs. Shaffer said. "And beautiful."
"I ache for her," Opal agreed. "Is anyone else willing to admit that?" She paused. "No one? I ache to touch her. I ache to offer her sensations. I ache to watch her squirm, to hear her sounds. No one will admit that?"
"I want to hold her," Kiki said, and her voice caught. "Please let her down now."
"She's not ready to come down, Ms. Furman."
"Please let her down," and then Kiki was crying.
Then Opal was beside me, and she freed my tongue. "Tell her," she whispered.
"Kiki," I croaked. "Trust Opal." And then I took the trap again.
There were gasps, and other sounds at that.
"Trust Opal," the woman said. "Oh my god, what I'm doing to her, and she tells one of her closest friends at the table, not to release her, not to demand her freedom, but to trust the woman tormenting her. Why?"
"I don't know!" Kiki said.
"Because you know her, and Claudine knows her. And I know her. And some others here know her. But most of you do not know her. Here she is, helpless and she couldn't be more vulnerable. She didn't know what I was going to do to her when we started. She struggled. She fought and she screamed, but she says, 'Trust Opal'. I don't even think she's thinking enough to know why she says those words."
Opal caressed my cheek, just for a moment. "Judge, do you love this woman?"
"I-" The judge paused. "I don't know. She would be very easy to love."
"It is harder for you," Opal said. "It is harder for you to say some of the things I've said. But you want to touch her, perhaps with the device at your hand. You keep reaching for her but pulling back. Or maybe you want to stand and run fingers along her skin, the skin we marked for all of you. Maybe you wish to trace the lines, or caress the patterns. If you are careful, a light, dry touch will not damage the design." And then she demonstrated on one of my a
rms. "You see?"
She paused. "Touch her, Judge. Know her, just a little more. Show half the bravery she just showed with two words. Trust Opal."
And I heard a chair creak, and then a hand was on my leg, moving slowly along the outside.
"Intimacy is not necessary," Opal said. "But touch her. She is beautiful, isn't she?"
"Yes," whispered the judge.
"And not simply physically."
"No," the judge said. "Definitely not only physically."
After that, Opal encouraged others to touch me. Some used their feathers and their leather, and I heard a few ask to trade. But there were more hands on me. Not everyone touched, but many did.
Some of the touches were intimate, some were very intimate. Someone teased my nipples, causing me to squirm. And then someone else soothed me with her hand, and I moaned lightly.
And then I heard the motor, and I was being lowered, but the touches didn't stop. Someone freed my tongue, probably Opal, but I said no words. They pulled me to the side, and then, although I was still hanging, I felt Opal wrap her arms around me, and I laid my head on her shoulder.
"Hold me," I whispered. "Please hold me. Please don't stop holding me." And then I began to sob.
And so Opal held me, and I don't know who untied me. I don't know who freed my eyes or pulled a robe around me, disentangling one arm from around Opal's neck, and then the other to do so. I clung to her and sobbed.
"Who else?" she whispered.
"I don't know," I said. "Don't let go."
"I won't," she whispered. "I won't." She raised her voice. "Mrs. Shaffer, where can I take her?"
"Spare bedroom," the woman said immediately, and then I heard movement, footsteps. It was awkward, as I refused to let go, but Opal and I began moving, following Mrs. Shaffer.
"If you're one of her closest friends, she needs you. Come."
Marbles
I refused to let go, and it took a long time before I stopped sobbing. Kiki came, of course, and Claudine. And the judge. That pleased me, but I hadn't any words. Hope was there, and Sylvia, but not Liah. I felt bad about that, but I didn't say anything. But Mary Ellen was there, too, and that warmed my heart.
"What does she need?" Kiki said. "Should we get her dressed? Blythe, talk to us."
"Leave her alone," Hope said. "She needs you to hold her. That's all she needs. Look at the way she won't let Ms. Pearce go. Just hold her."
And so they did, all of them, finding what they could do to touch me, a few laying a head across my back or an arm around my waist.
I don't know how long we stayed there. Opal said nothing for a very long time. Then she began whispering.
"You're strong. You need to come back to us now, a little bit."
I said nothing, but I tightened my hold, my arms locked tightly.
She gave me time. Then she spoke to the rest. "She needs us to talk. Gently. Slowly." She paused. "Blythe, I am half in love with you, and I'm so afraid of the other half."
"Why?" I whispered.
"Because you need me a little, now, but you won't always. Maybe you're for me for a little while longer, but not much."
"No," I said. I started to cry again.
"You're not helping," Hope said.
"Yes, she is," Claudine said.
"No she's not," Hope said again.
"Yes, she is," said the judge. "Look around and figure it out, but don't say a word. Blythe, you are an amazing woman. I couldn't say it in front of everyone, but I can say it here, only in front of the closest of your friends. I also ached to touch you."
"You could have touched more," I managed to say. "All of you could have."
"For you, I could," said the judge. "And for me. But not for everyone who was watching."
I whispered into Opal's ear. "Is Kiki all right?"
"No," Opal whispered back.
"I don't know how to help her."
"I know. Can you let go just a little?"
"I don't know. No. You're trying to leave me."
"Not yet, Blythe. I'm not done with you yet. I promise."
"You promise."
"I promise."
And so, slowly, I loosened my grip. Not much, but a little.
"Mary Ellen," said Opal. "What did you think? You were very quiet, and you didn't touch, not once."
"I already know Blythe," she said. "I don't need to touch her physically to know her."
"What did you think?"
"I thought she was beautiful, Guerrilla Girl in action."
I managed to snort at that.
"I don't know if the message was fully heard, but she was impossible to ignore."
"That was Opal," I said. "I just hung around."
"You didn't just say that!" Claudine complained. "Blythe!"
I managed to giggle.
"Claudine, what did you think?"
"I'm afraid," Claudine said.
I loosened a little more from Opal and managed to turn my head to look at my friend. I saw Kiki behind her, not touching me, but I addressed Claudine first. "Why?"
"I wondered."
"Wondered what?"
"What you were thinking. What you were feeling. I wondered what it would be like to be you right then. Or to be beside you, hanging together. I wouldn't have wanted everyone watching me." She paused. "And I wouldn't want to be alone up there, either."
"Hope, what did you think?" Opal asked.
"I think you put her through that for nothing. It's not going to change tonight's vote."
"No, it's not," Opal said. "That's not why I did it though. It wasn't for nothing." She paused. "Kiki, look at your friend."
Kiki was looking down, but when she turned to me, I could see the pain in her eyes, and I began sobbing again.
"Don't cry! Blythe, please don't cry!" But she didn't move to me.
"Kiki," said Opal. "She needs you. Your friend needs you."
And then she was there, and I moved my hold from Opal to Kiki, crushing her to me and sobbing.
"Please don't cry," she said. "Please don't cry."
Opal didn't move away. She kept a hand on me, and she leaned close and kissed my head, then stayed that way, her forehead pressed against me.
Slowly, I calmed down. "God, I'm a mess," I said.
"Pretty much, yep," Claudine agreed. "But god, you're beautiful, too."
"Is there a mirror?"
"Back of the door," Hope said. I looked, and she was pointing.
I pushed away from them, but when they began to retreat, I said, "Don't stop touching."
But I made my way to the door, Kiki pressed to my side, Opal behind me, and most of them clustered around us. I reached out and grasped Claudine's hand.
But then I straightened, wriggled a little, and then let the robe fall open, then let it slip from my shoulders and puddle at my feet.
I was so many colors, forest colors, and flowers. I turned slowly around, looking at myself in the mirror, and then I turned my head and gazed at Mary Ellen. "An artist did this design."
"Yes," said Opal.
I looked at Claudine. "And another artist helped."
"Don't look at me. I can't draw a straight line."
I looked around.
"I'm not going to tell you," Opal said. "You guessed one. You won't guess the other two."
I turned back to Mary Ellen. "Thank you." And she inclined her head.
I looked at them. "Is it beautiful?"
"You're beautiful," Opal said.
I turned back to the mirror. "Sylvia, you're quiet."
"My writer brain is going insane."
I turned back to her. "Still want to cook me up, one piece at a time?"
"God, I don't know. I don't know what to do about this. Shit."
I laughed. "You'll think of something."
"Yeah, probably. You'll suffer."
"Yeah, tell me about it." I returned my attention to the mirror. "We can't stay in here all night, can we? There's a vote to happen. My initiation isn't over
, is it?"
"Probably not," Mary Ellen said. "But god, you gave them something to think about."
"I need to get dressed. But..."
"She needs more touching," Opal said. "And not from me. From each of you. She needs you to see her."
They were tentative at first, and all the judge did was stand behind me with her hands on my shoulders, looking at each other in the mirror.
Sylvia said little, but she moved close in front of me and examined my face. She brushed at a lingering tear, and then she kissed the corner of my mouth.
Hope examined the art, walking slowly around me, tracing some of the lines, looking not quite everywhere. She was embarrassed by my breasts, which amused me. She came to a stop in front of me.
"I don't know what to think," she told me.
"Neither do I."
I closed my eyes as she caressed my cheek, and then she stepped away.
Claudine and Kiki took more time, and I had at least one of their hands on me the entire time. They came together in front of me, side-by-side, opposite hands on my hip, and I looked back and forth between them. Kiki looked me in the eye, and then slowly her eyes moved lower, taking in my entire front, staring at my chest for a while, then looking up to me and smiling tentatively. "I've never really looked like this."
"I've never really looked like this, either."
She snorted and stepped away, but I thought she went reluctantly.
I turned my attention to Claudine. But she looked at Opal, then back at me.
"You're curious."
"Yeah."
I wrapped arms around her and kissed her cheek. "Maybe I'm not the one who you should let seduce you," I whispered.
"It's too soon," she replied. "I'm not ready for anyone to seduce me."
"When it's time," I said. I kissed her cheek.
"Ready to get dressed?" Opal asked. She had my bag, the one with my casual clothes.
"Did you bring the gown?"
She smiled. "Yes. Ladies, fix her as best you can. I'll be back. Everything you need is here." She waved the bag.
* * * *
Everyone else was downstairs when we finally emerged. We made our way. I clung to Opal most of the way, but then when we got to the door I stopped. "I'll go in last, and I'll sit alone."
"Are you sure?" Kiki asked.
"She's sure," Hope said. "Go on."