Within a week, the dog seemed back to her normal, healthy self. Clive lost the limp and was soon playing tug of war with the foot-long rope that was her favorite toy. She did seem to be eating a lot and putting on weight, but otherwise seemed fine. Until she started throwing up all over the house.
Niles brought her back to the vet. Signing in at the front desk, Niles joked that he wished he could buy health insurance for his dog. The young man with a lip ring gave him a tight smile and flat eyes.
“Very original, sir,” he deadpanned. Niles frowned at him but kept his own mouth shut. In a lobby chair, stroking his dog’s fur, he waited until the other guy wasn’t looking and flipped him off.
The door opened to reveal the vet – skirt today – and Niles led Clive into the other room. Rebecca examined Clive for a long time, frowning and repeating the same steps over again before turning to Niles with eyebrows near her hairline.
“She’s, um, pregnant,” said the vet. Niles stared at the woman. Behind Rebecca’s designer glasses she blinked those green eyes at him.
“She was spayed in this office,” Niles said. “As far as I know, you were the one who did it.”
“I was. And, I know. Technically, this isn’t possible. A dog that has been spayed should never get pregnant. I’ve never seen or heard of it happening. This is basically a miracle.”
Niles had no memory of the drive home from the vet’s office. Going through the motions, Niles ushered Clive into the house and out the back door so she could relieve herself in the alley. The air was crisp and the wind carried hints of autumn through the leaves. Niles rubbed his upper arms with his hands and jumped a couple times. He let Clive in and closed the door.
“Have to turn on the heat, pretty soon, bub,” he said. Clive wagged her tail. Niles fed his dog and thumped her ribs with his palm. Cracking open a beer, Niles slumped in his chair by the front window. Reaching for his book, a true crime novel he was struggling to finish, Niles glanced out the window; movement caught his eye, a flash of pink in the fading light of dusk. Niles watched for a while, but saw nothing else.
The next month was uneventful. As the dog got heavier, she seemed to slow down. She spent most of her time lying near the heat vent, only moving to eat or go outside. In the alley, Clive would only walk six feet from the back door to relieve herself. Toward the end of October, Niles was helping his dog across the room; she was only four but moved like an eighteen year old dog.
On November first, as Niles was taking down Halloween decorations, Clive started whining loudly. Niles set down the cardboard skeleton and knelt next to his dog.
“What’s going on, girl? Is it time? Are puppies coming?” Niles stroked her sides with one hand and scratched her ears with the other. Clive gave a yelp and jerked under his hands. Flatulence escaped her back end and Niles looked. Blood spattered the carpet behind her. Niles hugged his dog, stroking her fur and talking to her in a soothing voice. With another pained yip, Clive convulsed and gave birth.
Niles leaned over his dog to see the miracle puppies. There were three of them: tiny, fuzzy pink things. They looked like long, skinny Hostess Sno Balls with legs. Fuzzy, pink, stretched out tennis ball wiener dogs.
The creatures made tiny, pathetic mewling noises. Niles had never seen a dog give birth before, but even his amateur eye could tell these were not normal puppies.
Clive stretched her head around to look at them. Sniffing them, the dog sneezed. She shook it off, growled and grabbed one in her jaws. Whipping her head back and forth, Clive bit down hard and the tiny creature was in pieces.
“Clive, no,” Niles yelled. He scooped up the two still-living animals and held them to his chest. Clive gave him a reproachful dog face and spat onto the floor the part of her offspring still in her mouth. She nudged it with her nose, but it was still.
Clive’s chest hitched and she gagged. Her claws dug furrows in the hardwood. The dog coughed and sneezed several times, but seemed unable to draw a breath.
“Clive?” Niles asked, still holding the pink fuzzies to his chest. “You okay, bub?”
Clive was not okay. She convulsed again and blood flowed from below her tail. She wasn’t getting any air. Clive lunged forward, jaws snapping; it looked to Niles like his dog was trying to bite a lungful of air. She shook her head back and forth, chest heaving. Niles set the babies down and held their mother. He cried as his dog struggled for air, but couldn’t help her. In minutes she was dead.
Niles was on the floor, weeping softly into his dog’s fur when he felt something. The little pink guys climbed onto his leg and nuzzled him. Holding the two helpless creatures to his stomach, Niles cried until he was empty.
Once, he could control himself again, Niles called the vet’s office. After a moment, he got Rebecca on the phone. He told her what happened; Niles couldn’t keep the tears out of his voice.
“Are the other puppies okay?” Rebecca asked.
“I’m not sure,” Niles said. “I guess so, but I don’t think they’re normal.”
“Niles, I’m about to go to lunch. Why don’t I stop by to look at the litter? I can also pick up Clive and the other puppy for you so you don’t have to – you know.” Niles thanked her and hung up. He put a throw pillow in a cardboard box and set the squirming pink furry animals on it. Without looking at his dead dog or the dead baby thing next to her, Niles picked up the clutter in the living room. There wasn’t much; Niles lived alone and kept his place neat.
Twenty minutes later, Rebecca arrived with a dog carrier and a quart-sized Chinese food carton. She said hi, set down the food and with great care loaded Clive and the dead pink newborn into the carrier. She closed it up and turned to Niles. He showed her the two living offspring.
“I don’t think these are dogs,” Rebecca said. “Whatever mated with Clive must have been really interesting.” She spent several minutes checking out the creatures and stood up, stretching her back. Niles watched her breasts push against her shirt pulling the fabric tight.
“What should I do?” Niles asked.
“Take care of them,” Rebecca said. “Whatever else they might be, they’re babies. Here. Call me if there’s trouble.” She handed him a business card from the office with a handwritten phone number on the back. “That’s my cell.”
Rebecca lifted the dog carrier; Niles held the door for her and watched her leave. She turned back once and Niles waved. Rebecca smiled at him and got in her car, sliding the carrier into the back seat.
When he was alone, Niles cleaned up his dead dog’s blood. Then he tried to figure out what to feed his pink pets. They wouldn’t drink milk or eat dog food; they didn’t touch yogurt or raw hamburger. He noticed the carton on the table and opened it; inside was chicken fried rice. As the smell filled the room, the little pink guys mewled and swayed their heads toward Niles.
“You want this?” Niles asked. He squatted and held the food in front of them.
A slit appeared in the animals’ tiny heads as they bent over the Chinese food. They slurped it up like fuzzy pink four-inch Dustbusters; there was about a pint in there and it was gone in about two minutes. They loved it. Niles grinned at them and made a sandwich for himself.
The animals grew fast. They were definitely not dogs, or at least not completely. Aside from the tiny mouth, they had no features on their heads. After two weeks, vestigial ear nubs popped out of the top of their heads. A week later, little bumps pushed through the space above the snouts; they might have been eyes. They craved a lot of contact with Niles and he often held them, humming lullabies.
Months went by. Niles spent a great deal of money on chicken fried rice. His pets always seemed to be hungry. Niles watched the fuzzy pink things get bigger and better defined week by week. They were larger than dachshunds after five weeks. At three months, the animals had grown to the size of pit bulls. Their eyes, which came in around that time were wide, shiny and dark brown. Their mouths filled with teeth, grinding molars in the back, needle-sharp canines up front. He got so
many nips that Niles started to wish he owned stock in Band-Aid.
The animals’ tails had grown, too: they were long sinuous things with a mind of their own, wrapping around table legs and making the animals stop short. The big pink quadrupeds were constantly having to untangle themselves.
One of those tails caught Niles around the ankle as he crossed the room holding a glass of water. A little sloshed out of his glass and fell on the one he called Sno. Part of the creature dissolved. There was a long pale scar where the pink fur was gone. The other animal, Pinky sniffed the scar, but Sno seemed okay. The scar never healed. Still, Niles was glad he hadn’t brought them out in the rain.
“I haven’t brought you out at all,” Niles said aloud. These animals ate, but didn’t create waste. “Maybe that’s why you grow so fast.” Sno unwrapped his tail from Niles’ leg and made a chuff noise.
Most days, when Niles came home from work the big pink animals rubbed against him the moment he walked in. Since each of them out-massed Niles, this move pinned him to the wall. Their hot breath on his face smelled like soy sauce. It made Niles’ stomach rumble.
“Good news, boys,” he said one day, grinning. He turned away from them to shake the rain off his umbrella. He called them boys, but there was no way to determine their gender. “I have a date. With Rebecca. She asked me, can you believe it?” Niles did a little victory dance around the apartment; the lion-sized creatures picked up on his excitement, dogging his heels.
Niles brought Rebecca home for the first time two weeks later. With her coat still hanging off her shoulders, she stopped and her jaw fell.
“They got huge.” Rebecca said. She finished taking off her jacket and handed it Niles. He accepted it with a gentleman’s grace.
“This one is Sno,” Niles told her. “And this is Pinky. You know? It just occurred to me: you and I are the only people who have ever seen them.” Rebecca put out her hands and let the animals sniff first. She tentatively touched one. Sno pushed against her hand and made a low rumbling noise deep inside. Pinky nudged her other hand, not wanting to be left out.
“They’re so soft,” Rebecca whispered, “Where’d you get their names?” Niles shrugged. He smiled, a bit sheepish.
“Hostess Sno Balls,” he said. “When they were born, that’s what they looked like, remember? They’re great, aren’t they?”
“They’re so cool,” Rebecca said. She addressed the animals. “Yes, you are. You’re the coolest.” Rebecca petted one with each hand. “Hey, Niles, I’m starving. I haven’t had anything since lunch. Can I raid your fridge?” Niles nodded and pointed to the kitchen. He hung her jacket on the hook by the door. He idly scratched Sno and Pinky at the base of their heads, where they liked it.
“Oh, good. I love this stuff,” came Rebecca’s voice, muffled by the kitchen door. A chill crept up Niles’ spine.
Rebecca came back in carrying a cardboard takeout container and eating out of it with a fork. It was the fork with the bent tine that Niles never used because it always poked the roof of his mouth. The beasts went rigid under his hands. Rebecca’s cheeks were puffed out and she was chewing.
“Oh no,” Niles said; his voice cracked. “Not that, please. That’s not for you.”
It was the chicken fried rice. Rebecca lowered the container to her waist, one forkful still halfway to her mouth. Niles gripped handfuls of fur in his fists. He shushed his pets. Watching the three of them, Rebecca slowly raised the fork.
“Don’t,” Niles pleaded with her. “Don’t let them see you eat any.” Rebecca finished chewing and swallowed hard.
“What?” Rebecca asked. She raised her eyebrows, bemused and put the fork in her mouth.
Niles had no idea his creatures could move that fast. He was jerked off his feet and landed hard on his chin. In his hand, Niles held clumps of pink fur.
Niles looked on helplessly, his scraped chin burning as his animals pounced on his potential girlfriend. Sno knocked her down and Pinky wrenched the carton from her hand. They both sucked up the food that fell out, leaving no trace of it. While they ate, each kept a paw on Rebecca; she couldn’t move.
When the chicken fried rice was gone and the carton licked clean, both beasts turned their heads to Rebecca. The fork was still sticking out of her mouth. She turned her head to the right, keeping her eyes on the animals and let the fork clatter to the floor. Niles couldn’t move; sweat trickled down his ribs.
“What’s happening, Niles?” Rebecca asked. “What are they doing?” Niles shook his head.
Pinky lowered its muzzle and sniffed at Rebecca’s mouth. It looked at Sno, then sniffed its way down the woman’s throat, her chest, her stomach.
Pinky made a chuff noise. Sno bared its mouthful of canine teeth in Rebecca’s face and the crotch of her jeans went dark with urine.
“Oh god,” Rebecca said. “Sorry. That’s a fear reaction. How embarrassing.”
Sno chuffed and both animals tore into Rebecca, using their needle teeth to rip her open. She screamed. Blood flew outward from their muzzles. The beasts used their paws to pull apart Rebecca’s flesh, to get to the chunks of rice, chicken, broccoli and watercress.
Niles stared, unable to move; he was barely able to control his own fear reaction. It was a pink, fuzzy train wreck in his living room. The animals licked her clean, clearing away every trace of their favorite food.
When they finished, they turned their bloody muzzles to Niles. Their tails writhed serpentine behind them. They looked nothing like the cute, fuzzy pink pets they had been moments before. They looked like Hell spawn. Niles wiped his hands on his pants, took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. He had to step over Rebecca’s eviscerated corpse to get there. Niles tried not to get any blood on his shoes.
Niles’ pets followed him. They sat side-by-side on the tile floor, both heads cocked to the left. It would have been comical without Rebecca’s blood on their faces. Niles turned on both hot and cold taps full blast. He stood there watching the water for a moment. Niles cupped his hands in the water and splashed his face, once, twice. Niles yanked on the spray trigger and pulled its hose as far as it could go. Niles turned around, water dripping from his jaw to his shirt and he pointed the trigger at his pets.
Sno chuffed. Pinky Chuffed.
“I’m sorry guys,” Niles squeezed the trigger and sprayed them both. They stood there and let him.
Pink, gooey sludge ran off the animals and into the floor drain. Both beasts whined in pain and confusion. They dwindled fast and in less than a minute, nothing was left except their eyes and teeth.
Niles scooped up the four brown eyes with a spatula and dumped them in the drain. He turned on the water again and ran the disposal; Niles listened to the wet grinding for a few seconds before turning both off. Silent tears fell over a jaw clenched tight as Niles worked.
Niles gathered up the teeth with his fingers, careful to hold the jaw by the back and not to touch the canines. He put them in the sink, too and washed his hands with dish soap.
Niles toweled off and called the police.
“I’ve killed my girlfriend and would like to turn myself in,” he said. He gave them his address and said he’d be home.
Niles returned to the living room and sat a few feet from Rebecca’s body. He didn’t look at the torn remains as he waited to be arrested. Tears flowed down his face.
When the cops knocked, he got up and let them in. When they saw the body, Officer James drew his pistol and pointed it at Niles. Officer Hardy put Niles in handcuffs. Niles didn’t resist at all.
“I’m sorry,” Niles said. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I really liked her.” He didn’t mention Sno and Pinky, his impossible pets.
Sitting in the back of the cruiser, Niles looked up at the dark thunderheads. He could feel the sudden pressure drop that preceded a storm.
Movement caught his eye from across the street. Something was crawling out from under Bill Madison’s porch. As Niles watched, something large and pink slid out und
er the latticework, scraping its back and leaving a clump of fur behind. It was shaped like a dog, only bigger; its tail snaked out behind lashing whip-like. He knows I killed his kids, Niles thought.
The animal kept its gaze on Niles in the car, padding toward him on large, silent paws. Niles looked toward his building. No sign of the cops. He looked back and the animal was running. Above the car, lightning zigzagged across the clouds. The monster sped up.
“Shit!” Niles yelled. He slid across the seat to the driver’s side and pounded on the bulletproof glass. The creature slammed into the cruiser; the door buckled inward but held. Its jaw slammed against the glass, yellow spit smeared by razor teeth, lips flattening out to show black gums.
His back against the door, Niles pedaled his feet on the seat, trying to get even further away. He heard muffled voices behind him and turned his head. The two cops were outside now, each staring at the pink monster and going for his sidearm.
The beast was clawing at the car now, leaving furrows in the steel. Niles could see the cops split up; Officer Hardy around the front of the cruiser, Officer James around back. They both shot the creature, but it didn’t seem to care. It just kept trying to get to Niles. The passenger side of the car was caving in and the bulletproof glass was a wild network of cracks. The cops put a few more bullets in the pink monster. The roof of the cruiser began to give, the reinforced frame bending under the onslaught.
Thunder boomed, loud enough to shake the ground and everyone stopped. The cops, the monster and Niles all looked up. The rain poured from the sky like someone had upended a bucket. The cops were drenched in seconds and the pink creature bellowed and shrank. As it died, it still tried to get to Niles, digging its teeth into the door handle. In about twenty seconds, a pair of brown eyes fell to the asphalt. The razor-sharp canines dangled from the handle, attached to nothing.
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