Laura was just driving through the campus of Cambridge University of Ohio when she slapped her forehead. Really, how could she possibly be so incredibly stupid? What the hell did she get that Summa Cum Laude for, anyway? She didn't need the book! She didn't need to wait for Marrs to upload anything onto the department servers! She could try to get Ted back as soon as tonight!
Laura spent the day wandering around the campus, not really finding anything out. She kept looking at her watch, wishing the day away so that she could go to Cincinnati and get her job done.
That is to say, her job getting Ted back, or at least checking to see if he was still alive. Her job of investigating the killings in Cambridge would, she supposed, have to wait.
But what if somebody died (or worse) here while she was in Cincinnati on what amounted to personal business? Oh hell, it was worse than personal business, because she'd be putting the entire population of the Cincinnati metro area at risk, and she didn't know the figures, but she imagined Marrs would tell her that Cincinnati was even more populous than Providence, so she was actually being several times more irresponsible.
She tried to stop thinking about trans-dimensional search and rescue and start thinking about the undead killers right here. She felt torn, and she had no idea where to start in finding out if this killer was actually a vampire. Well, according to Marrs, the slayings had been two weeks apart, and it had only been five days since the last one. So maybe Drac Junior would hold off for another nine days, in which case, Laura's desertion wouldn't be such a big deal.
But would she? Despite the fact that Marrs labeled her an expert, she knew nothing about vampires, really, except that they existed and how to kill them. She supposed this gave her two significant advantages over most people.
She flashed her badge and asked random students if they had seen anything scary, if they felt threatened, if there was anybody acting suspicious. The only thing she was able to conclude from this was that the students in Cambridge University's honors program considered the rest of the campus a bunch of meathead alcoholic date-rapists, and those not in the honors program considered the honors students to be whiny, superior pains in the ass.
This might be interesting from an anthropological standpoint, but it was pretty much a dead end from a vampire-hunting perspective. The sun was sinking in the sky, and short of arming herself and walking around hoping to be vampire bait (and she hadn't been to the motel to check on the stakes yet), Laura felt like there was very little she could possibly do to help.
She trudged up Cambridge's main drag, past the bars and pizza places, and as she approached her rental car, parked outside of the Suds & Suds bar/Laundromat, she saw a familiar face going into Tower of Pizza.
She thought that must be Becky Barnham, the teen star who was always smiling that heavy-lidded drunken smile from the tabloid covers in the supermarket. Did she go to Cambridge University of Ohio? Why hadn't Marrs told her? She remembered the Senator's daughter detail from years ago and thought she might have just come across a crucial lead, though she didn't really understand exactly what it meant. Once before the vampires had been targeting a high-profile young woman, or else had just happened to be in the same place as one. If that wasn't just a coincidence, then maybe they were after Becky Barnham too. She had one more thing to do before she could go look for Ted—she hoped that if Ted were still alive, her delay didn't cost him his life.
She turned and walked into Tower of Pizza, a loud, bright place with red formica booths and fluorescent lights. As she walked over to Becky Barnham's table, two large, burly men in black t-shirts, one white, one black, suddenly appeared in her path.
They didn't speak. They just looked at Laura.
"Okay, fellas, I've got a badge here, which I am going to reach into my bag to ge—" She saw the white guy get kind of twitchy and immediately said, "No no, you know what, here, you reach into my bag and get the ID." She handed the bag to the white guy, leaving the black guy, obviously the calmer one, to look at her. The guy dug Laura's ID out of the bag, showed it to his partner, and then they nodded at Laura.
"Thanks," she said, and walked over to Becky's table.
"Ms. Barnham—Laura Harker, FBI; I wonder if I can ask you a few questions."
Becky Barnham looked up at Laura with annoyance all over her face. "I don't know—can you?"
"Heh-heh. Yeah, look, I'm investigating the murders here, and I'm just—I wonder if you can tell me if you've joined a sorority."
Becky looked at her like she was the single stupidest person on earth. "Bids go out at the end of freshman year," she said. "I couldn't join one yet."
"Okay, great. Uh, are you expecting any bids?"
Becky gave Laura a long look that communicated clearly that she had thought it was impossible for Laura to get any stupider, but she'd just proved her wrong. "Uh, yeah? Like twenty?"
"Okay—is anybody—I mean, I understand that you're being recruited pretty aggressively, but is there anybody that you think is going to extraordinary lengths to recruit you?"
Becky took a bite of pizza, chewed, and looked at Laura. "I mean, not to be too conceited, but I am famous. They all want me. But I guess maybe the Omegas want me even more than the other ones."
Laura's heart jumped. It couldn't be—could it? Even if the same person, or vampire, or whatever were masterminding things, they would have chosen a different sorority this time—wouldn't they?
"Okay—just one more question, and then I'll get out of your substantial hair." Becky looked at Laura blankly, and Laura was glad to see that Becky was, in fact, too stupid to know she was being made fun of. "Have you been to any afternoon teas at the Omega house? Or pancake breakfasts for charity? Anything at all that's taken place during the day?"
Becky bit a slice of pizza and chewed. "Not that I can remember. But, I mean, I don't really like to go to the daytime events anyway—it's like a lot easier for people to get pictures of me from far away during the day. You know?"
"Not a phenomenon I'm personally familiar with, but I do understand what you mean. Well, thanks for your time!" Laura extended a hand, and Becky just looked at it like it might have just been used to pick up feces, and Laura walked away.
"Nice kid," she said to the bodyguards as she passed their booth, "real sweetheart."
The black guy shook his head just slightly and said under his breath, "You should see her when she's mad."
"I hope to never have to see her again," Laura said, and kept walking.
Behind her, she heard the white guy squeak out, "Take us with you!" in a falsetto.
The sun was beginning to set. Laura had basically no evidence, but she was sure in her heart that the Omega house was a vampire's nest. She called Marrs, who told her to wait until daylight and then get into the house and look around. If she was right, she could just open up some shades and dispose of them all without the stakes, and if she was wrong, well, hopefully she wouldn't get caught, and if she did, he'd have very little difficulty getting her out of a breaking-and-entering charge.
So tomorrow was her day for vampire slaying. Fantastic. Ted went in at night, armed only with a can of gas, a Zippo, and an axe, Laura's mind reminded herself, and she considered again the incredible courage he'd shown. Well, it was time for Laura to show some courage herself. She was going to get Ted back dead or alive, or die trying.
As she drove to Cincinnati from Cambridge, Laura wondered if she were doing the right thing. She knew what Marrs would say about putting the population at risk, about how her responsibility to the public had to outweigh her loyalty to Ted.
Except it didn't. Laura didn't know if there was a God—it seemed kind of hard to believe, given all the evil shit that seemed to be wandering the earth. But, then again, maybe things did happen for a reason. Though it might have cost him his life, would anybody but Ted have been able to crack the whole Cthulhu Cult thing? Would anyone else have been able to stop it? So maybe God, or whoever, had put Ted in the path of the Queequeg's shooter. I
n which case She would understand that Laura owed it to him to get him back. And if She did exist, and She was working in the world, would She let Cincinnati be destroyed because of Laura's love for her friend? Well, then, She was probably just looking for an excuse to wreak destruction anyway, and if Laura didn't open the door, She would probably find some other way to destroy the Earth.
Laura decided she needed to find a place of power. The cultists had had twelve chanters trying to open a Cthulhu-sized hole—she hoped she could open a Laura-sized hole by herself, or maybe with somebody's help. She called Elaine on her cell phone. After some nice preliminaries, Laura said, "Uh, I have something really strange to ask you."
"Oh my God," Elaine said, "please tell me this isn't the 'I'm straight but curious' conversation. I've really done that enough."
"No, I'm not—I mean, I am curious, but not straight—I mean, I'm curious about—anyway, no, I mean, you've been to Cincinnati before, right?"
"This is my third trip."
"So what are the big important places? I mean, places where there are important buildings, places where people congregate, stuff like that."
"Well, there are the stadiums down by the river, and there's a big park there too . . . ." Water. Was that important for a place of power? She couldn't remember what those new agey websites had said about that. "Let me see . . . I mean, I really don't know much outside of downtown . . . there's the fountain right outside the hotel here. It's kind of like the center of downtown. I guess they have like lunchtime concerts there and stuff. People eat lunch there in the daytime. "
Laura wondered—riverfront or fountain? Well, there was water in both places, and if the fountain was the center of downtown, it might be a place of power. Well, she could always try the riverfront if the fountain didn't work. "Okay. I'll try the fountain. Where is it?"
"Fifth Street, between Walnut and Race."
"Great. Can you meet me there in half an hour?"
"Uh . . . I suppose so. Why?"
"I—I really have to—I can tell you in person."
"Okayyyyy. See you then, I guess."
"Thanks!"
Well. So now Laura was throwing her trust at some random woman, just like Ted would've done. It wasn't really her, but she needed an assistant, and Elaine was pretty much her only choice. It wasn't like she could call Marrs for backup on this one.
Once she reached Downtown Cincinnati, Laura parked in a public garage and booted up her laptop. She played the video of Ted's Last Stand again, listening closely to the audio. She tried to block out the sound of Ted screaming and just focus on what the cultists were chanting. She played it through three times until she was sure she had it. She wrote a phonetic transcription of the incantation on her arm in permanent marker. She was pretty sure she remembered it, but she had no idea what a trip through a rip in space-time might do to her memory.
Even still, the incantation might not work from the other side. It might be Earth-specific. In which case, assuming they were even alive, she'd be stuck there with Ted and his girlfriend forever, which sounded kind of suspiciously like something Jean-Paul Sartre would have dreamed up. From the unspeakable horror of the Old Ones to the nauseating horror of the meaninglessness of existence in one short trip! Or would it be a short trip? Laura found she was as nervous as she had ever been. It occurred to her that she might just die. It would be safer, and better, and more practical for her to stay alive and kill vampires and hunt down evil and mourn the death of her friend. Unless, of course, he wasn't dead, in which case she'd never really sleep again, wondering if she could have done more. No. The hell with it. She was going to do the best she could. And maybe if there was a God watching over everything, She would help Laura find her friend.
She walked to Fountain Square and wondered if she would find Elaine there. She put her chances at about fifty-fifty. Why was she even doing this? She didn't really need any help, did she? But then, if Elaine did help, and Laura ever made it back, Elaine would have to believe, and then . . . Well, that was a stupid way to think about somebody you talked to for an hour on an airplane.
The fountain was a large, greenish sculpture with what looked like a woman on top with water pouring out of the downward-facing palms of her hands. Spotlights illuminated other figures with water pouring over them, and there, standing in front of the fountain, was Elaine.
"Hi! Thank you so much for showing up! I really had no idea if you would or not!"
"Yeah," Elaine smiled. "It was about fifty-fifty, but I've already seen everything on HBO tonight, and I figured if you turn out not to be completely insane, you might be like spontaneous and fun or something."
Laura couldn't help laughing. She looked back on her entire life and wondered if anyone had ever considered her spontaneous or fun. Maybe before the fire, a little bit, but that was a different person, a different life. Well, maybe this was too.
"Well, what I'm going to say here is not really going to convince you that I'm not nuts. I'm going to stand here and say some strange words, and if you could say them along with me, that would probably help. I'm also going to be playing a video of people chanting the same thing. If all goes well, I'm going to . . . okay, here's where you write me off as a complete nut, but anyway, if all goes well, I'm going to disappear."
She could read the "Oh, shit, she really is a whack job" look on Elaine's face and just hoped she could get her to play along.
"I know, I know how insane that sounds, especially because I mean really disappear, not in a like David Copperfield way. Anyway, in the event that something goes wrong, I'm gonna need you to just take my phone and press and hold the one button. A guy will answer, and if you just tell him what's happened, he'll hopefully fix it. Also, I've downloaded a worm that's going to wipe my hard drive about five minutes after I leave. If you can just double check and make sure that happens, I'd really appreciate it."
"Uh, okay, sure . . . ." You complete freakin' psycho was left unsaid, but it was fairly clear.
"Okay . . . Ah, you're not gonna do the chant with me, are you?"
"I don't really see that happening."
"Okay then." Laura's heart was pounding. Thoughts were trying to bubble up from somewhere deep in her brain. Is this the last thing I'll ever see? If I die, will this be enough to redeem my betrayal of Ted? What about all the people . . . .
With great effort, Laura silenced all her fears, all her regrets. She was not going to die. She was just going to do a quick disappearing act, and then she'd be right back after these messages. Right. It crossed her mind to give Elaine a quick kiss, but this would almost certainly send her running back to the Westin, and she really did hope Elaine would be able to call Marrs and fix things if she accidentally opened a Cthulhu-sized hole in space and time and caused the return of the Old Ones. Well, he had the book, right?
Instead of a kiss, she said, "You really seem like something special, and I hope we can get to know each other better when I get back."
Elaine said nothing. Laura handed her the cell phone and turned away. She put the volume up as high as it would go on her pathetic, tinny little speakers and started the video. Along with the cultists, she chanted, "Yog-Sothoth, flshrauv, Yog-Sothoth, sil'iah, menduru, Yog-sothoth, r'lauggggggg . . . Yog-Sothoth, R'lyeh mesha'al . . . Cthulhu."
Nothing happened. On the video, a rift was opening. Maybe Laura had been wrong—maybe this wasn't a place of power, or maybe one person chanting wouldn't get it. The cultists restarted their chant, now interrupted by the occasional scream as shoppers noticed the rift or Ted and Cayenne taking cultists down.
Laura was disappointed, but at least now she could tell herself that she'd done the most she could do, and she'd obviously messed up her chances with Elaine, but she'd done right by Ted at least. Nobody could say she hadn't done everything she could have possibly done for him; she'd disobeyed orders, put a mid-sized city at risk, she'd made an attractive stranger think she was nuts—now she could sleep easy and . . .
Five feet
in front of her, something glowed with a sickly greenish-yellow light. As Laura watched, the rift opened. It grew to about the size of a ten-year-old child, then stabilized. All of Laura's relief drained away and was replaced by panic. She forced herself to walk forward and tossed this in Elaine's direction: "It's just never easy to do the right thing, is it?" she said.
"Uh, I guess not," a stunned Elaine said quietly. Without looking back, Laura stepped into the rift.
Twenty-One
Ted and Cayenne had disentangled, and they had been lying in place for several years. They'd talked about being bored, they'd exchanged detailed life stories, and Ted was contemplating whether it was time for sex again when he heard a sound.
It sounded like vomiting. He sat up and looked at Cayenne, who was sitting up and looking at him.
"Who's puking?"
"I don't know. Cthulhu?"
Ted pondered this for a moment. "I think . . . It sounds too small to be Cthulhu."
"Where's it coming from?"
"Aw, who the hell can tell. Let's go outside, or maybe inside, up, down, whatever, let's walk!" Ted heard the inappropriate enthusiasm in his voice. Something was happening! It might well be something bad—but there was such a flood of relief in Ted's guts that he didn't even care. He wanted back on the wheel, and if things were changing, the wheel was turning, and maybe, after all these centuries, he could get back on.
The Mall of Cthulhu Page 19