by Russ Melrose
The window above the entertainment center concealed the Glock. I'd have to step on the entertainment center to access the gun if the need arose. Not ideal. But when the time came, if it came, I would do what was necessary. I'd learned that lesson well. If I didn't do what was necessary when the time came, there was a good chance I wouldn't survive and neither would they. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that.
I decided to check out the window coverings. They were large black outdoor garbage bags stuffed with pillows or blankets or clothes, whatever was necessary to fill them up. Then they were taped to the windows with masking tape. They were quite effective. They did an excellent job of keeping the light out. If the situation arose, they would come off easily enough.
Having food in my stomach energized me. I was more than ready to get out into the neighborhood to scavenge for food. I wanted to get the food gathering done as quickly as possible. More than anything, I wanted to get out of the house. I knew it would be blistering hot out this late in the day, but I didn't care. I couldn't wait to get them their food and get out of their house for good. I'd had my fill of Sarah Josephson's moodiness. I would help them as best I could and then I'd be gone.
Just below the hum of the air conditioning, I could hear an erratic murmuring coming from the storage room, subtle but distinct. I listened intently and there it was again. I was fairly certain what I was hearing were the muted but excited whispers of Raj and Sarah. My curiosity got the better of me and I grabbed the empty bowl and glass and headed to the storage room.
They were whispering intensely, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. They stopped the moment I walked into the room. I stopped too. I stood there with my empty bowl and glass and waited for them to resolve whatever it was they needed to resolve. Sarah and Raj were sitting on Raj's mattress facing each other. Neither of them gave me a glance. They were staring intensely at one another. Raj held a resolute expression on his face as if he weren't going to give in on whatever it was they were fussing about. Sarah looked fit to be tied. You could see the intensity in her eyes, and her lips were so tightly pressed together, they'd nearly disappeared. Then Raj shrugged his shoulders and gave Sarah one of those it's-up-to-you looks.
Sarah sighed heavily. She looked flustered. "Okay," she said. "…to the first part, not the second." Raj nodded silently.
Then he turned to me, smiling radiantly. "Jake," he said. "Can we talk?"
I was about to find out what the fuss was about. I assumed it had to do with me, and I assumed I wasn't going to like it.
"Okay," I told him.
Sarah got up and retrieved the dishes from me without so much as a glance. She looked troubled and introspective.
I followed Raj out to the family room.
He made himself comfortable sitting on the same end of the couch Sarah had sat on. Raj crossed his lengthy legs underneath him and smiled brightly.
"How are you doing, Jake?" he asked me.
"I'm all right," I said, feeling wary.
"That's good," he said, nodding his head in approval. "Very good." He stopped the nodding and smiling and his face suddenly took on a serious countenance. "Sarah tells me you've come all the way from Murray."
He was leaning forward in anticipation as if he were waiting for me to answer a question, though he'd never really asked me one. But I gave him the answer he was looking for. "Yes," I told him. "I came from Murray."
Raj paused a moment, then said, "It must have been very dangerous, Jake. Did you run into some of the grays?" And he canted his head slightly in anticipation of my answer.
"I had some difficult moments," I told him. "And, yes, I ran into some grays." And I left it at that. I didn't feel like sharing details. Raj was giving me several empathetic nods as if he understood perfectly well what I'd gone through. Then I asked him a simple, direct question. "Raj, what's going on?"
"Oh," he said, and he was all smiles again, though only for a moment. Then his face morphed into seriousness again. "Yes. We very much appreciate what you've done for us, Jake. The food you brought us was wonderful. Thank you. Truly a wonderful thing you have done. Very much appreciated."
I had never met anyone quite like Raj. Even though I'd known him less than a day, Raj was easy to read. He was irrepressibly cheerful, always smiling, and utterly sincere. I had no doubt his gratitude was genuine. Raj simply didn't have the capacity for deceit. He was guileless. And whenever he said anything, his emotions were etched on his face as if they had been tooled there by a craftsman. He couldn't hide anything. Everything Raj felt was revealed by his face.
I waited for him to continue.
"We were hoping you might help us in a different way, Jake," he began. And he tried to smile, but it was a strained effort. He was out of sorts. "We appreciate that you've brought us food. Yes. Very thankful. And... well... we were hoping you might be willing to help us go somewhere." Once he finished, Raj seemed relieved. He took a deep breath and smiled, pleased with himself.
I had difficulty believing what I was hearing. I had been convinced they'd never want to leave this house. And now they not only wanted to leave, but they wanted me to take them to wherever it was they wanted to go. "You want to go somewhere?" I asked him, just to make sure I'd heard him correctly.
"Yes, Jake. We do." Raj nodded. He seemed to be his normal self again.
"And... where was it you wanted to go?" I asked him.
"We would like to go near the area of 45 hundred South and Wasatch Boulevard."
The intersection he mentioned was about seven blocks south on the other side of the underpass.
"Why? What's there?"
"Oh," he said, "Well." And he hesitated. A shadow of uncertainty darkened his face. He looked disconcerted and at a loss. There was something he didn't want to share with me or wasn't supposed to. "There's someone there who can help us," he finally said. "We'll be safe there and have plenty of food. Everything will be very good there, Jake. Very good."
I knew something wasn't quite right. And I could only assume this was the part of their conversation Sarah wasn't on board with. Raj had purposefully left something out and I could tell it was bothering him. But I wasn't going to press him about it, not yet.
I felt confused and wasn't sure how to respond. I'd been dead set on finding them food. Finding them food would have been simple, easy. And there was a part of me that didn't want to let go of that.
I hadn't expected to be asked to take them anywhere, and I didn't know how I felt about it. I needed time to think. Dragging them with me through neighborhood backyards was hardly an enticing prospect. And it would be infinitely more dangerous. I changed the subject to give myself time to think.
"How did you meet Sarah?"
Raj smiled. "Oh," he reacted, looking surprised and pleased by my question. "I met Sarah over a year ago," he told me. "She came to my yoga class."
He paused for a moment, reminiscing. His eyes drifted up and to the right as if he were accessing the memory. "Yes," he said, smiling. "I liked Sarah right away. She is a wonderful person, Jake. Very wonderful. We've been friends ever since that night."
He was beaming now.
"So you teach yoga for a living?" I asked.
"Yes, Jake. Mostly, I teach Hatha Yoga. But I also teach meditation too. It's very good."
"That's great, Raj."
There was something else I thought Raj might be able to clear up for me. I had been wondering since last night if Sarah had heard me on the deck or if it was my tinkering with the locks that had awakened her. I'd become somewhat prideful of my newfound facility for stealth and it bothered me that she might have heard me. I lowered my voice. "Raj, did Sarah hear me last night? Is that why she was upstairs?"
"Oh, no," he told me, lowering his voice. "Sarah heard shots last night. She heard shots and then she went upstairs. That's when she heard you... trying to break in."
I felt relieved. I didn't want to believe the noises I'd made had been loud enough to wake her. If they'd been lo
ud enough to wake Sarah, then they'd likely have been loud enough to attract the attention of the infected.
And then I wondered why Raj hadn't accompanied her upstairs. If it had been an unknown man threatening to shoot me last night instead of Sarah, I might have taken the threat more seriously. But then again, I couldn't imagine Raj threatening to shoot anyone.
I changed the subject again.
"Sarah wants to go?" I asked him.
"Oh, yes. Definitely."
"Then maybe she should be out here too."
I said it more sharply than I'd meant to. And the caustic edge that had been in my voice earlier had returned. I felt embarrassed. I wasn't upset with Raj in the least.
Raj looked down into his lap, a troubled expression in his eyes. He was wrestling with something. Then he looked up at me and leaned close, the kind of distance reserved for the whispering of secrets. Raj's face was a mix of sincerity and compassion. When he spoke, his voice barely broke above a whisper.
"Jake," he said. "Many years ago, Sarah was married. Back then, she had some bad experiences. Very bad. Sarah's problems with you... they are not about you, Jake. They are not about anything you have done. They are about her. It's very difficult for Sarah to give her trust to people." Raj looked me squarely in the eyes. "I cannot say anything more than that. It would not be proper for me to say anything more. Please try to be patient with her."
I didn't know what to say and I felt like a fool. I nodded okay. Raj's nodding seemed to be contagious. Then Raj uncrossed his legs and got up from the couch to get Sarah.
I had been so wrapped up in my own feelings, I never considered there might be a good reason for Sarah to be suspicious or distrustful.
I wondered if Sarah's "difficult" experiences had been gun related. If that were the case, it would explain a lot. But nothing could explain my erratic behavior. One moment I was fawning all over Sarah trying to please her, the next I was lashing out at her. I was acting like two different people, neither of whom I liked very much. For some reason, Sarah brought out the worst in me.
When they came out, Raj motioned for Sarah to take a seat on the couch, but she declined. She stood obstinately between the couch and the coffee table, arms folded against her chest.
Raj decided to stand too. He smiled brightly at Sarah, but she paid no attention to him. She stared down at the carpet, her face smooth and blank, looking disinterested.
Raj was in love with Sarah. That much was obvious. His face brightened every time he looked at her. And who could blame him? Sarah was certainly beautiful. She had delicate features and those rich brown eyes set against flawless, impossibly-white skin. She was slender and lean and toned like a tennis player. And her buzz-cut added a vulnerable quality to her appearance.
But I didn't see Sarah as vulnerable whether she looked it or not. Sarah could be combative and had no problem standing up for herself. She stood up for herself last night when she challenged me in the kitchen. She'd been frightened but still had the backbone to threaten me with a non-existent gun. I wasn't sure if it was grit or stubbornness that best defined her, maybe it was a blend of both.
"Raj tells me you'd like my help to get somewhere."
It was a simple statement. I waited for her to respond.
She looked to Raj, still apparently irritated with him, then looked to me and said, "Yes."
"It's dangerous out there," I told her. "We'd have to travel through a lot of backyards and over a lot of fences. It won't be easy. And the infected are everywhere. Are you sure about this?"
"Yes," she said. "We're sure."
"What about Becky?" I asked her.
"Becky will be fine. We'll make sure she's okay."
"We are not afraid," Raj added.
Great. They weren't afraid. But they should have been. They didn't understand the danger because they hadn't been out there. I'm not sure I fully understood the danger till the last few days. Raj and Sarah had been so isolated in the relative safety of Sarah's home, they had no reference point for assessing the danger. They lived in a neighborhood that was relatively free of the infected.
I gave Raj as deadly serious a look as I could muster. "You should be afraid," I told him.
And then I told them what had happened to me the previous night at Sarah's grandparents' home. I told them everything in detail. I let them know the house was surrounded by sixty or more of the infected. I told them how I'd shot the old woman in the knee and how I'd killed the teenage boy. I let Sarah know just how difficult shooting the old woman was for me. I told her I didn't have a choice. It was the old woman or me, and I didn't want to die. I told them how shooting the teenage boy was an instinctive reaction more than anything. I never had the time to mull it over. I told them of my escape through the garage with the ATS. Told them I'd run over some of the infected in the driveway and in the street. Told them how I had to drive through neighborhood front yards to get away. In essence, I let them know my escape was nothing short of a miracle.
I told them about the group of infected plundering the home on Lisa Drive. And I told them about the disaster at the underpass on 39th South. I shared with them my belief as to the horror of what happened there. I told them about getting stuck between the tree and the car on 39th. And I let them know about the detour I'd taken to scout out the underpass near Skyline High. And then I told them the likelihood that it had been Sarah's phone call that had allowed the infected to find me at her grandparents' home. I didn't say it to be mean or to make her feel bad, I said it to let them know how important it was not to make any sounds. I told them all these things because I wanted to frighten them. Being afraid might help to save their lives, or mine. I wanted them to understand how dangerous it was out there. But I didn't tell them about the Swimmer, and I'm not sure why I didn't.
And then I waited for a response. But neither of them said a word. A splotchy red rash had arisen on Sarah's lower neck and upper chest and she was staring hard at the floor. I had seen the same rash on a few women before when they were nervous or flustered or embarrassed. Raj looked thoughtful, maybe perplexed too.
"Do you still want to go?" I asked them.
Sarah looked at Raj, then gave him a nod. She never so much as glanced at me. Then Raj spoke up, "Yes, Jake. We still want to go."
I'd done everything I could to dissuade them. At least I thought I had. I had trouble grasping their motivation for wanting to go out there amongst the infected. While I knew gathering a six-week supply of food might not be enough to last till things got back to normal, if they ever did, at least they'd have food for six weeks. I couldn't help but wonder how much food their friends had. Did they have the same kind of extensive food storage as Sarah's grandparents?
Then I realized I had another option. I could just say no. It would have been the smart thing to do. But I hadn't been making smart decisions ever since I'd first talked to Sarah on the phone, and my head was already spinning with plans of how to get them there.
"Is that your Corolla in the driveway, Raj?
"Yes, it is," he told me.
If the coast were clear, I knew we could use Raj's car to get us to the underpass near Skyline. After that, the trick would be to get to the nearest neighborhood and into someone's backyard. From the underpass, it wouldn't be more than two to three blocks to get them safely into a backyard. The mess of cars at the freeway entrance and at the Wasatch Boulevard intersection would likely give us adequate cover to get to the closest neighborhood. I was picturing the underpass area in my mind as I'd seen it last night. And from what I could remember, I thought the plan would work fine. We just needed a little luck. Once we landed in a backyard above Wasatch Boulevard, it would be about eight blocks, maybe nine, to get them where they wanted to go. Not a great distance. But I knew many of the streets above Wasatch were windy roads that snaked their way up the mountainside. I wasn't sure if there were any through streets we could follow. I'd have to check Google Maps to find the most direct route. If everything went well, it would
only take two days to get there. But I knew things didn't always go the way you planned them.
"Have you been in communication with the people you want to join up with?" I asked them.
Raj looked at Sarah for a moment as if he were looking for approval to speak. She gave it to him.
"Yes, Jake. We have contacted them."
"Do they know you're coming?" I asked him.
"We will text them to let them know we are coming. We told them we would come if we could. They will certainly be expecting us, Jake."
I knew taking them there was risky, knew it could end badly, but I felt oddly compelled to go along despite my reservations.
"There's just one thing," I said to them.
"What's that, Jake?" Raj asked.
"I'll take you there. But you have to do everything I ask. You have to follow my instructions precisely. One mistake and we could all die."
"Of course, Jake. We'll do whatever you ask." Raj was beaming.
"Sarah? How about you?"
The ruddy marks on Sarah's neck had begun to pale. She was less than thrilled and made no effort to hide the fact. "Yes," she said, her face smooth as stone. "I'll do what you ask."
I needed Sarah to go along. Raj might have been doing all the talking, but Sarah was the one in charge. Other than the whispered revelation about Sarah's past, everything Raj had said since he'd come into the family room was at Sarah's behest. He followed her wishes dutifully. But I still didn't get what their dispute had been about in the storage room. If Raj and Sarah were both on board with me taking them to their destination, as seemed to be the case, then what was the disagreement about?
I spent the next half hour with them going over the essentials of what they should bring with them and what not to bring. The most important point I made to them was not to overpack. I told them if circumstances dictated, we might have to move quickly, and a cumbersome backpack could get one of us or all of us killed. They agreed to pack lightly.