by Orren Merton
When it got late Emma came in to say good night, then her parents did the same. Eventually I sent Rachel to bed too, even though she would have loved to be up all night with me. I would have loved that too, but she had school Monday morning, and I didn’t want her to start her school week feeling like a zombie.
While Rachel and I talked, I texted Jake to say that I was back, I was safe, I was healthy, and I wanted to see him the next morning at ten. As soon as I texted, Jake called. He was so relieved to hear from me, I could hear the emotion in his voice…I almost broke down myself. But I held it together, told him I was tired and I’d see him soon.
The next morning Steve got up and made toast and set out fruit for everyone. He ate breakfast and said good-bye to all of us as he headed off to Torgenson & Hilberg, the accounting firm he worked for. The girls piled into Linda’s Volvo; her plan was to drop them off at school on her way to the Pilates studio where she was a trainer. She told me to make myself at home, to say hi to Jake (who I found out they basically thought of as their son) and that the two of us were welcome to anything in the kitchen and to stay as long as we wanted. She asked for my phone number in case anything came up and I asked for hers too. I remembered how Jake taught me to make the number into a contact so that her name would come up if she ever called me.
I hadn’t gotten much sleep and didn’t eat much toast or fruit for breakfast. I was extremely nervous. I mean, I was super excited to see Jake. But this was going to be the morning. If there was going to be anything between us—anything real—he had to know the whole truth about me. And I was going to tell him, for real this time. No backing down.
I went through both my suitcases trying to figure out what I wanted to wear. I also opened Jillian’s closet to see if she had anything that would fit me that I liked more than what I had. I sighed as I pushed through skirts and dresses on hangers. What kind of impression did I want to make, I wondered. Did I want to look athletic? Casual? Gothy? Sexy? I could always wear a button-down shirt and leave it kind of open…
Wait, what was I thinking? I never worried about clothes, and I never tried to sell myself on my appearance! I wasn’t going to start now, and Jake wasn’t the sort of guy who cared about that stuff anyway. If he was going to freak and want to leave, showing some bra wasn’t going to change that. I put everything back in the suitcase except a purple tanktop and a pair of black jeans. Plain but nice. Yeah, that was the way to go.
At about a quarter to ten I was dressed, wearing just the tiniest bit of mascara, and sitting on the couch, waiting. After a few moments I stood up and started pacing and wringing my hands. Bonnie picked up on my mood and stared at me nervously. I hated to do it, but I wasn’t sure how Bonnie would react to me, so I picked her up and carried her through the kitchen, out the sliding door and left her in the back yard. Then I went back to the living room to continue pacing.
Jake was going to totally freak out, I just knew it. This was going to be the end of it, before “it” even really begun. Maybe I should just…
No, I owed this to him—and to myself. I had to be honest. He had to know what I was. There are no lies in the House of Keroz, I reminded myself. And even on Earth, I was going to be that person…the Lady Firebird…Firebird Alex.
When I saw Jake’s BRZ drive up to the curb, my heart leapt into my throat. Oh God, this was it. He practically jumped out of his car and skipped to the door. I heard the doorbell and yanked the door open almost instantly.
“Alex!” he breathed, practically panting as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. “Thank God, Alex…”
I hugged him back just as tightly. “Hi Jake,” I whispered.
Jake pulled his head away slightly so he could lean over and kiss the top of my head as we embraced. “I missed you so much Alex. I was so…”
He bent his head down to kiss the top of my head again but before his lips reached my hair I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. I could tell he was a bit startled but he closed his eyes and pulled my head close as we locked our lips. I held my breath. Time stopped. The only thing that was real in the world were his lips.
He pulled his head away and we looked at each other as if in a daze, breathing slowly. I gazed into his deep blue eyes. We just stood there, catching our breath and staring. After a moment I leaned up again, and this time he leaned down lower so I didn’t need to stand on my toes and he held me close. We parted our lips for another kiss. I closed my eyes as his tongue danced with mine. After what seemed like forever but not nearly long enough, we pulled our lips apart to catch our breath.
I rested my head against his chest. “I missed you so much, Jake,” I said. “I know I was only gone a few days to you, but it’s been months for me.”
While still embracing me, Jake pulled himself slightly back so he could look at me. “Oh trust me, it felt like forever to me too,” he smiled. “You have no idea how…”
He stopped mid-sentence. With a surprised expression, he pulled back from his embrace, still holding onto my arms.
“Geez Alex! Look at you! Your arms, your legs… You look like you’re an Olympic athlete!”
I shrugged bashfully. “Three months of intensive martial arts training.”
“Well, if you can figure out how to bottle three months of martial arts training into four days, you can be rich,” he marveled.
“Thanks,” I said. “But I’m serious, I really was training for…”
I trailed off. Words weren’t enough. I had to show him. And it had to be right now, before I talked myself into circles or lost myself in those lips and those eyes.
“Okay,” I began, far more abruptly than I meant to. “I have to tell you something serious. The most serious thing I’ll ever tell you, probably. I have to show you. And it has to be now.”
“Okay…” Jake said as I took his hand and marched him upstairs to Jillian’s room. I walked him to the middle of the room and then stopped him there. He stood there, a pleasantly confused look on his face, as if he was still at least partially in the clouds from our kiss.
I looked around the room to see if there was anything I could use. On Jillian’s desk she had a yellow lined pad of legal paper. That would do. I launched myself at her desk and ripped off about three quarters of one sheet of paper.
I returned to Jake and handed it to him. “Hold it like this,” I said, grabbing his fingers and moving them so he was only holding the bottom of the sheet with a few fingers.
“Now hold it out here,” I grabbed his arm and extended it, so it was as far away from his face as it could be. I moved his arm so it was straight out. I turned to Jake. He had the same pleasantly confused look, although he seemed to be getting a bit more amused the more I fussed.
“I told you before I was the daughter of a demon,” I said.
“Mmm hmm,” he nodded.
“Well, it turns out that wasn’t quite true. My father is a Sedu, a being from a parallel dimension of spirit and soul. I spent over three months in there, healing and training, but it was only a few days here.”
“Okay,” Jake said, adding a smile to his pleasantly confused look.
I looked at the piece of paper. It was beginning to flop over. I was worried that it would completely fall over his hand, scorching him. And I didn’t want to burn down the house, either.
“Wait, we have to do this over a sink,” I said, and grabbed Jake’s arm and lead him out of Jillian’s room and into the bathroom in the upstairs hallway. I moved Jake until he was standing over the toilet, and extended his arm out until it was over the sink.
“Sedu aren’t demons—well, not really—but they look like what we’d call demons. And they can make themselves look like humans. And it was in human form that my dad fell for my mom. That’s what I meant when I said I wasn’t human, Jake. I’m a Seduman.”
“Okay,” Jake said, a kind look on his face, like he was humoring me.
I sighed. I fiddled with Jake’s fingers a little more, trying to move them as far down the paper
as possible while still giving him some kind of grip. I also moved his arm back so the paper was leaning against the bathroom mirror over the sink and wouldn’t flop over his hand.
“What you’ve seen of me, this,” I said, waving my hand over my head and chest, “is the human part of me. But it’s not all that I am…I am also Lady Firebird, of the House of Keroz…”
I looked at him nervously and inhaled slowly. This was it. This was the moment. There would be no going back. One way or another everything would change. I might scare him to death. There might never be another kiss like the one we just shared. And if he totally freaked out, I might even accidentally hurt him.
“Please don’t scream…” I swallowed nervously, on the edge of tears.
For the first time, I don’t know if it was the concern on my face or the tone of my voice, Jake realized that something might be up. His bemused expression faded into one of concern. He gave me a slight nod, dead seriousness in his eyes.
I reached deep into my Sedu self and pulled out my fire. I felt my hair and eyes ignite. I pulled out my Sedu skin and felt my flesh toughen. And I pulled out my fangs. Jake had to see it all, whether I wanted him to or not. He deserved that.
Jake’s jaw dropped open. His eyes went wide. He held his breath.
I turned to the paper. I aimed my mouth at the very top of the paper and breathed out a very thin stream of flame.
As the paper combusted, I heard Jake gasp, but he didn’t scream. He dropped the paper into the sink with a surprised and alarmed expression. I picked up the bottom of the piece of paper and held it over the sink as it burned. As he watched, I ignited the bottom of the page with my fingers.
Jake stepped backward, but the toilet was in his way. He stumbled and wound up tumbling into a sitting position on the closed lid.
I exhaled and closed my eyes, practicing what Dad had taught me about reining my Sedu self back in. After a moment, I was back to a normal human girl. I opened my eyes and turned on the bathroom faucet to soak the flaming piece of paper.
I turned to Jake and exhaled.
He stared at me, his eyes wide, breathing heavily, saying nothing.
“Did I burn your fingers?” I asked. “I tried to—”
“No no,” he insisted. “I’m not burned.”
I nodded.
We stared at each other in silence some more. Each second without a single word felt like a century. I just had to say something.
“Did my breath smell?”
I could have kicked myself. Why did I have to ask the stupidest question in the world?
“No,” Jake shook his head. “It didn’t smell like anything. Maybe a little salty. Do you have some kind of sodium organ—”
“Oh no,” I interrupted. “I don’t have any different or special organs. I’m exactly the same as any other girl on the inside.”
Jake gave me a single nod.
The silence started again, but I just couldn’t take it. “Look…this is who I am, Jake. This is me. The real me.”
He nodded, then swallowed. “I…could you…give me a moment…please…”
I nodded.
He nodded.
…And again we were silent.
The long silence became too much again. This time, as I was trying to think of something else not quite as lame to say, he spoke first.
“You really meant it,” Jake said, shaking his head in wonder, then looking right at me. “You told me your dad was a demon…it wasn’t a metaphor.”
“I’m sorry…” I tried to calm myself down, to hold it together, but I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes. “I’m so sorry Jake…”
“Sorry for what?” Jake asked. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
And there it was: that genuine expression that I fell for so completely.
I nodded silently, a slight smile forming on my quivering lips. I was more grateful than he could have possibly known.
“This is going to take me a while to process,” Jake said. “I hope you understand.”
“Oh sure,” I nodded, the first tear streaking down my cheek. “Take all the time you need. And if you don’t want to…to be friends…”
“What?” Jake shot back, almost affronted. “Of course I want to be with…of course I do…”
“Really?” I asked, smiling as I wiped my tears away. “Even though I’m…different?”
“But that’s the thing,” Jake said. “Yeah, you’re not what I expected. You’re different from most people, but you’ve always been this. This is how you were when I fell for you. My understanding of you has changed—my understanding of the whole universe, of reality, has changed. I feel like everything I thought was real is different now…except you. You haven’t changed. You’re still the same girl that I’m…”
Jake trailed off. I imagined all the things that he might have said that I would have loved to hear him say.
“You’re not afraid I’m going to…hurt you?”
For the first time since I went Sedu, Jake grinned slightly. “After the way you fussed over not burning me? Nah. If you wanted to hurt me, you could have at any time. You didn’t have to tell me who you really were if all you wanted to do was burn my face off.”
I snorted out a chuckle. “No, I don’t want to burn your face off. It’s a really, really nice face.”
“Not as nice as yours,” he said.
It took all my willpower not to ask him to say that again.
“I have a lot of questions,” Jake said.
“Of course,” I nodded. “And I want to answer them. All of them, Jake. Nothing is off limits. Ask me anything. Just one thing—”
Jake raised his eyebrows to egg me on.
“Maybe we could leave the bathroom first?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Jake chuckled, and rose from the toilet. I opened the lid and tossed in the soaked remains of the piece of paper, flushed the toilet, and we left the bathroom together.
29
“So let me get this straight…” Jake said haltingly, swallowing and tightening his jaw as we sat on the couch together. “My mom was murdered so that her soul could be demon food.”
I thought about the rumam of Spencer Bennington, and imagined Jake’s mom, hollow and sad, confused and alone, an innocent woman, her life stolen so early, being slowly drained of everything that made her who she was. I put my hand over my mouth as it started to quiver.
“It’s horrible…” I whispered. “I’m so sorry…”
Jake inhaled very deeply, then exhaled very quickly. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, Alex. I know that you’re not like this bastard. You were almost his victim too. It’s not your fault.”
“No,” I said, breathing slowly to control my emotions. “But I can do something about it. And Jake—I can end your mom’s suffering. I know I can.”
Jake looked at me with a mixture of confusion and gratitude.
“How?”
“I need to talk to that detective, Sergeant Godinez.”
“Sure,” Jake nodded as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly swiped the screen until it started calling. He tapped the speakerphone icon and held it between the two of us.
“Yeah…Jake,” Detective Godinez answered after a few rings. “What’s up?”
“Hi Detective,” Jake said. “I’m here with Alex.”
“Hi,” I said.
“Good to hear from you, Alex. I’m investigating the attack on you and Rachel Silver. Where did you go?”
“I need to talk to you. Privately. In person,” I replied.
I could hear him sigh on the other end of the call. “Alex, I’m currently busy with another case. Can we make an appointment for you to give me a statement about the attack? Tomorrow maybe? I’m available from—”
“My Sedu blade is from the House of Keroz,” I interrupted. “I have information. And we need to talk.”
He didn’t respond for a moment. Jake looked at me, his eyes asking me ‘now what?’ I shrugged.
/> “I can finish up here within the hour,” Detective Godinez finally responded. “I’m in Newport Beach right now. I can meet you here, or come to wherever you are.”
I turned to Jake.
“How about we meet you at Newport Pier?” Jake asked. He looked at me for confirmation. I nodded.
“Fine with me,” the detective said. “Meet at the Pier at noon?”
“Yeah, okay,” Jake said.
“Thank you, I really appreciate this,” I added.
“You’re welcome, Alex. See you then,” he said, then disconnected the call.
“Why Newport Pier?” I asked as Jake tucked his phone into his back pocket.
“There’s a really nice Italian restaurant right by the Pier,” Jake stifled a slightly sheepish grin. “What can I say? I missed our lunches.”
“So did I,” I returned the smile.
Jake and I had spent the last hour talking about who the Sedu were and what it was like in Sediin, and we spent the forty-five minutes until we had to leave doing the same. Jake had accepted me as I am, but he was open about the fact that it would still take him a while to come to grips with it all. He was incredibly curious, not just asking about my experience, but about how our parallel dimensions interacted, the different types of beings and environments in that dimension, everything I could tell him. And of course he asked a lot about my family. Through it all, he was never judgmental, at least outwardly. It felt incredibly good to be able to be that open with Jake.
“You know…I even missed your Subaru,” I said as we drove off to Newport Beach.
Jake smiled, then shyly turned back to the road. “So…um…I just want to make sure I understand…”
“Understand what?”
“About…about that kiss….did it mean…did you…”