Anne wondered if Ella knew just how queer they were but only said, ‘I think it would be better all round if Cormac tried to get a job. Kathleen says he isn’t strong enough, but he seems strong enough to me.’
‘She told me it wouldn’t be right for him to work, her mother said. Have you ever been in the house?’ Ella asked. Anne shook her head.
‘I’ve only been in once. You should see it! Material draped all round the walls and swords and things hanging on them. A couple of chairs like thrones. Queerest place I’ve ever been in,’ said Ella. ‘I was only there a minute but I was glad to get out.’
‘It’s a shame,’ said Anne. ‘Because Kathleen’s quite different when she gets away from them, isn’t she?’
‘She is,’ Ella agreed. ‘I’ve been trying to get her to look for a living-in job, a hotel receptionist maybe, but she won’t leave her mother. I’ll stick at it, though. I’ll get her out of their clutches somehow.’
‘I hope you do then I won’t feel so bad about her, but tell me if I can help, Ella,’ Anne said.
She felt happier about Kathleen now that she knew that she had a champion in Ella, but she had little time to dwell on the O’Neills. The shop had suddenly become very busy as Christmas approached and although the cycling was finished Anne and Sarah continued to spend every spare moment enjoying themselves.
The usual family gathering at the Andersons’ was held over until late January as Theresa had invited her parents and brothers and sister to her house for Boxing Day, and Pat said he thought it was a good idea.
‘Spreads things out a bit, so we haven’t got all the jollifications within a couple of days.’
‘The only drawback is the weather gets worse and the nights darker after Christmas,’ Carrie said. Everyone began to tell her that the shortest day had been passed and Fred sat down beside Anne. ‘That reminds me, girl, be careful. Don’t come home on your own late at night.’
‘Why, Uncle Fred?’
‘A young girl got attacked last week, my mate in the police told me. A respectable girl. She was nearly home and someone jumped out at her and battered her with a piece of wood. They found splinters in her. She could have been killed, only someone disturbed him.’
‘Where was it?’ Anne asked.
‘Not far from here, near Boaler Street, so just be careful, young Anne. If he’s done it once he can do it again.’
‘I will,’ she promised, and promptly forgot about it until Sarah said during the week, ‘That girl Ella that you know, Anne. Is her name Eleanor Hopkins?’
‘Yes. Why?’
‘Peggy who lives next door to my grandma told us she’s in hospital. She was attacked coming home from a dance and nearly killed.’
‘Ella was?’ Anne gasped. Cormac, she thought, or even Mrs O’Neill, remembering Kathleen’s doll, but then the next moment told herself she was crazy. Anyone could have attacked Ella. Why should it be the O’Neills just because Ella had tried to befriend Kathleen?
Nevertheless she felt uneasy and was almost glad to hear that a second girl had been attacked in a different part of Liverpool. She would have been less relieved had she known that the second girl had been attacked by an ex-boyfriend, who had been arrested.
She enquired at the hospital about Ella and was told that only family visiting was allowed, so she left some fruit there and without analysing her feeling of relief, pushed the incident to the back of her mind.
It was easier to do this because Joe was due home and all the family were happily preparing. Julia seemed to take on a new lease of life and now that the weather was improving she often walked to Carrie’s house or to see Bridie and her family.
Joe had letters ready to post to Littlewood’s and the grain merchant’s as soon as his ship docked, and within days was called to Littlewood’s Pools for an interview. There was great jubilation in the family when he returned home to tell them that he was to start in the Despatch Department in two weeks’ time, in the huge new office in Edge Lane where Eileen worked.
‘The beauty of it is, it’s permanent,’ he said. ‘And the prospects are good because Littlewood’s are growing all the time. They’re good employers, too.’
All the family were delighted to have him home again, but none more than Maureen. On Joe’s previous leave he had noticed how quiet and unhappy she seemed, and persuaded her to tell him the reason. Eventually she told him that she had fallen in love with a man who was already married and her conscience was greatly troubled.
Joe had comforted her, and told her that no one could help falling in love, and if she was not breaking up his marriage she was doing no harm. There was no opportunity for further discussion. Privacy was hard to achieve, especially while all the family wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.
Before he’d left he’d managed to say to her quietly, ‘Don’t worry so much, Mo, and don’t let religious scruples worry you either. You’re doing no harm. We’ll have a longer talk when I’m home again.’ Maureen had been comforted as much by Joe’s loving concern for her as by his words.
She had looked forward to long satisfying talks with him, when she could tell all about her feelings and all the worries she had kept to herself for so long, but it was not easy for Joe to spend time alone with her.
His mother clung to him and wanted to tell him all about her mother’s death as well as telling him how happy she was to welcome Helen into the family.
His father had recently had electricity installed and wanted to show Joe the fittings and switches in each room. He even took him down to the cellars to see the lights and the point for a plug there.
‘You know we always used candles down here when we were using the workbench, Joe. The feller that did the wiring told me it was dangerous, especially with all the wood about.’
‘I suppose he’s right, Dad,’ Joe said. ‘Although I’ve never thought about it if I was doing a job down here.’
‘He said it was a good dry cellar,’ said Pat. ‘Sandstone foundations. Said we were lucky being high on the hill like the new cathedral on St James’s Mount. I had lights put in the coal cellar and wash house too while he was at it. Cost me another two quid but it was worth it.’
‘Handy for filling the coal buckets,’ Joe said. ‘And there wasn’t much light in the wash house. Good idea, Dad.’
Neither of them realised then just how handy the cellar lights would be before long.
Chapter Twenty-One
Anne claimed Joe to talk to him about the books she had read and all that had happened to her since he went away, and Terry and Stephen wanted to talk to him about football and their latest craze, greyhound racing.
Even Tony was anxious for Joe to spend some time with him and Helen, and to show off his new car. Maureen, always self-effacing, would never have demanded time with him but Joe took matters into his own hands.
‘Are you going to Benediction, Mo?’ he asked. ‘If so I’ll walk down with you, and then we might do a bit of visiting afterwards or even just go for a walk.’
‘It’s a grand night for a walk, and it would do you good, Joe, after being cooped up on that ship,’ his mother said. ‘Let the visiting wait.’
Joe tucked Maureen’s arm under his as they left the house. ‘Now, Mo, how are things with you? I hope you’ve stopped worrying.’
‘I did in a way, Joe,’ she said. ‘I felt much happier after talking to you, although nothing’s really changed.’
‘Tell me about this chap,’ he said. ‘What’s his name?’
‘Chris. Chris Murray,’ Maureen told him. ‘You’d like him, Joe. He works in Lipton’s, near to our shop, but I only really met him when he came in to order baby clothes.’
‘For his own baby?’ Joe asked.
‘Well, yes,’ Maureen said, then suddenly burst out, ‘He was tricked into marriage, Joe. His wife’s a horrible woman. Horrible!’
‘What happened?’ asked Joe.
‘He was at a party. He had a few drinks and fell asleep and when he wok
e up he was in bed and Beryl was lying beside him. She said he’d – he’d misbehaved. He’d have remembered, wouldn’t he, Joe?’
‘I’d have thought so,’ he said, and Maureen went on, ‘He didn’t remember anything after falling asleep but they got married right away and Beryl just lay around like an invalid until the baby was bom six months later.’
‘Six months later?’
‘Yes. She said it was premature but she hadn’t made any provision for it, and wouldn’t look at the baby. That’s why Chris came in for the baby clothes.’
‘And when did you realise how you felt about him? Does he know by the way?’
‘Yes, and he feels the same way. I thought he looked so lost and unhappy that I just wanted to comfort him at first, and Chris says he just thought I was kind. Neither of us wanted to admit even to ourselves how we really felt,’ Maureen said. ‘He was a married man.’
She and Joe had walked through to West Derby Road and were approaching St Michael’s Church. He said, ‘Do you want to go to Benediction, Mo, or would you rather walk and talk? I would.’
‘So would I,’ she agreed. ‘Sometimes I wish I hadn’t been born a Catholic, Joe. It would make things so much easier.’
‘I think you’re worrying too much about the religious aspect of it,’ he said. ‘I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. You can’t help your feelings.’
‘Beryl wouldn’t look after the baby so her sister took it temporarily, but then Beryl really was ill with poliomyelitis so the little boy stayed with her sister. Chris has to pay a woman to sit with Beryl during the day and he looks after her after work,’ Maureen said.
‘And when do you see him?’
‘In my lunch hour. We take a tram to the Pier Head. I go inside and Chris goes on the top deck and we meet on a quiet corner near the end of the Landing Stage,’ Maureen said. Joe had slipped his arm round her waist and she suddenly turned her head into his shoulder.
‘Oh, Joe,’ she said, ‘it all sounds so furtive and nasty, but it isn’t, honestly. We never meant this to happen but we can’t help ourselves. I love him, Joe.’
She was weeping now and he guided her to a low wall in a secluded corner where they sat down. ‘I know, love,’ he said gently. ‘Don’t cry, Mo.’
She wiped her eyes and sat up. ‘I’m just another worry now for my poor Chris and God knows he’s got enough. His wife hates him, I’m sure she does. She does everything she can to make life difficult for him.’
‘Couldn’t he leave her if she feels like that? Pay someone to look after her full-time?’ Joe said. But Maureen said sorrowfully, ‘She wants him there even though she never speaks civilly to him. And how could he leave her, Joe? She’s his wife and a sick woman and he promised “In sickness and in health”.’ She tried to smile. ‘Don’t worry about me, Joe. It’s not all misery. When Chris and I are together we have some lovely happy times.’
‘But it’s not much of a life for you, Mo,’ he said gently. ‘I mean, you’re never going to meet anyone else unless you make the break, and this is all a bit hopeless, isn’t it?’
‘I don’t want anyone else,’ Maureen said. ‘Anyway, I’m not likely to meet anyone now. I’ll be thirty-one this year.’
‘How old is the child?’ he asked, and Maureen’s head jerked round to look at him in amazement. ‘Didn’t I tell you?’ she said. ‘The little boy died. That’s when this really started. Oh, we’d felt like this for years but we wouldn’t acknowledge it, and then we started meeting casually and standing talking for ages, but it was only when I met him and he was so upset about the baby and – and other things. I put my arms round him and suddenly, well – it all poured out.’
‘How did he die?’ asked Joe.
‘Of diphtheria, but he’d never been strong. Chris’s sister-in-law really loved the baby and when he died she was so upset she told Chris that little Tommy had never had a chance. She said Beryl took things before he was born because she didn’t want a baby and that’s why he was sickly.’
‘Good God!’ Joe said. ‘And did he face her with it? His wife, I mean?’
‘Yes, but she denied it, and then she said she didn’t know why he was making such a fuss because it wasn’t his child anyway. Chris said she laughed and he had to rush out of the house or he’d have killed her… He had to go back in the end because there was no one else to put her to bed, but he hated touching her.’
Joe said nothing and Maureen said anxiously, ‘I suppose you think he’s weak, Joe, but what can he do? She said when he went back that she was only teasing about the baby not being his! But said too that he’d married her in church and he’d promised to look after her always.’
‘I can see his difficulty,’ Joe said carefully. ‘But I’m concerned about you, love. You deserve to be happy, Mo.’
‘I am happy, Joe, most of the time. Especially now that I can talk to you about Chris. It’s been so hard keeping it all to myself.’
‘Does no one else know?’ Joe asked.
‘No. Mum guessed there was something and in the end I told her that I was in love with a married man. I thought she’d be shocked but she wasn’t, although she said she thought I should try to forget him because it would only mean unhappiness for me.’
‘And that’s all Mum wants,’ Joe said fondly. ‘For us all to be happy.’
‘I’m glad she knows. She always turns the conversation away when Aunt Minnie starts about marriage and me being an old maid.’
‘I wouldn’t expect her to be cheering for marriage,’ Joe said. ‘Not after Dympna’s experience.’
‘She’s like a lot of other people,’ Maureen said wryly. ‘She thinks that any husband is better than none.’
They stood up and Maureen glanced at her watch. ‘We’d better get back or they’ll be sending out a search party,’ she said. ‘Thanks, Joe, for listening to me. It’s helped a lot.’
They strolled home, talking now of family matters, but as they neared Magdalen Street Maureen said suddenly, ‘There’s a lot more about Chris and me, and – and other things I haven’t had time to tell you, Joe. Don’t worry about me, will you, because of what I’ve said tonight?’
‘I’m sure there is a lot more,’ he said, giving her arm a comforting squeeze. ‘Thing is, Mo, we’re going to have plenty of time to talk now I’m home for good.’
‘Yes, thank God,’ she said happily. ‘I’ve missed you so much, Joe. We all have.’
Joe settled back happily into family life, enjoying the warmth of his welcome. He had lost touch with his friends but had the company of his brothers and sisters to compensate.
Terry and Stephen attended Victor’s Dancing Academy in Prescot Road and urged him to try it, but he put them off. He went very willingly to watch Everton Football Club, and to the Parish Club where they played billiards and practised with dumbbells and a punchball, and to greyhound racing.
Anne had talked so much about the gramophone at the Redmond house that Pat had bought a cabinet gramophone for the parlour, stipulating that the family must buy the records. Now to the recordings of jazz, dance bands and romantic ballads Joe added his choice of light classical music and operatic arias.
Coming back to the family after being away for so long except for short periods, Joe saw them with new eyes. Tony had always been serious, always very much the elder brother, checking Terry and Stephen, protective towards the girls, but now he seemed more relaxed.
For the first time Joe realised that Tony had really been lacking in confidence. Now Helen, loving and admiring him, had given him the confidence he needed to be happy. Terry and Stephen were not complex characters, but Eileen, always simply considered a tomboy, was sensitive and vulnerable.
It was only now that she was happy with the girls in Littlewood’s Pools that Joe realised how much she had been hurt by the cattiness in her previous job. He was surprised at how grown up Anne suddenly appeared although she was still as light-hearted as ever. Her friend Sarah, although the same age, was so shy that she
appeared much younger.
She often visited the Fitzgerald house and Joe enjoyed discussions about books with her and Anne. He was pleased to find that both girls shared his taste in music, although they also liked sentimental ballads and dance music.
Terry still made extravagant gestures of devotion to Sarah but to Joe the situation seemed much as it was when he was last at home. The more he knew Sarah, the more he liked her, but he wondered if she saw him just as Anne’s sedate older brother, not part of the flirting casual crowd of her own age group as Terry was.
Anne and Sarah were attending Victor’s Academy in addition to the caelidhes now. Eileen joined with them but before long she met a young man and started courting so dropped the dances.
‘We could do the quickstep and the waltz but we thought we’d join to learn the more complicated dances like the tango and the slow foxtrot,’ Anne told Joe. ‘And Terry and Stephen seemed to have such a good time there. Why don’t you try it, Joe?’
The system at Victor’s Dancing Academy was that beginners were taught on the ground floor, then progressed to the ballroom on the first floor when they were proficient. Anne and Sarah, Terry and Stephen had all been promoted to the ballroom and Anne said to Sarah, ‘I’m trying to persuade our Joe to come. I’m sure he’d enjoy it but with us all upstairs he’d have to go downstairs on his own, and he’s not pushy like our Terry and Stephen.’
‘I wonder if our John would go with him?’ Sarah said. ‘I was talking about some of the funny things that happen there and Mum said it was the sort of place he should be going to.’
Anne tried to hide her eagerness for the idea. She still saw John occasionally but felt that he deliberately kept a barrier between them, although the way he looked at her belied his stilted conversation. Her pride made her speak as formally as he did and always be the one who moved away first.
When Sarah told her that he had been offered and refused a foreman’s job, Anne was bitterly angry that he had said nothing about it when they met the previous evening, but now she was unable to resist saying, ‘Yes, that would be great,’ as coolly as possible.
A Nest of Singing Birds Page 25