A small voice nagged at him. She isn't really taken, Slade, She'll only be your wife in name only. Don't fool yourself, buddy. You already told her she could see whoever she wanteddiscretelyafter you're married. You even told her she could end the marriage when she fell in love and wanted to marry someone else.
Caitlyn turned and snapped a photo of him, while he was lost in his thoughts staring at her. Busted. He had to get rid of it. He must have let his stone face down while he admired her. Were his true feelings showing on his face? In his eyes?
“Delete that, Caitlyn.”
“No way. I need a picture of my future husband on the day we got engaged. I can show it to people, you know?”
The very idea horrified him. Although it would definitely sell the idea that he was in love with her to others, it would also reveal his feelings to Caitlyn. She’d feel betrayed, lied to.
“Let me take some of you then,” he said with a casual tone he didn’t feel.
She handed him the camera. When he saw the photo of him staring at her like a love-sick fool, he deleted it.
“Oops, I deleted it.”
“Hey!”
“Relax. Smile. Remember this is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life.”
“I’m taking more of you then.”
Through the lens, he saw her smile illuminate her face. Her eyes lit up and almost took his breath away. He was grateful he had the camera shielding him right now. Without it, who knows what his face would have revealed.
Slade, get yourself in check. Remember, this is a marriage of convenience. Nothing else. If you try anything otherwise, you're going to get screwed. So watch it.
He had to keep his wits about him. This was business, all business. If Caitlyn found out about his true feelings after she consented to marry him, she would think he duped her with this whole marriage of convenience idea to get what he wanted. She would think he was no better than the rest of them.
“You look beautiful,” he said, encouraging her to keep posing. “Very happy.”
No, he couldn't ever let her find out the truth. To do so would ruin everything. Not only would he lose her as any sort of romantic interest, but he would lose her as a friend as well. He would lose her for good. The thought was unbearable. He would be completely alone the way he'd been in the Marine Corps before Caitlyn came into his life. Totally alone.
That was it, she would never find out the truth.
“My turn to take some photos of you,” she said. “And then the two of us together.”
He forced himself to remember he was a hard core Marine and he had to put on his game face for the situation at hand. Wiping his real emotions off his face, he took a deep breath.
Appear happy, not like some deranged stalker.
He smiled casually and let her snap away.
On the drive back to the base, Slade said, “So let's do it on Monday. Go down to City Hall, get married.”
The way he said it made Caitlyn think that it was no more than grabbing a bite for breakfast. Technically, she supposed it was. It was only supposed to be an arrangement.
“Slade, there's one little snafu in this little plan of yours,” she said.
Slade appeared astonished. “What?”
“We both have to work. In case you didn't realize, we're in the Marines. It's not like we can call in sick or anything.”
“Damn, you're right. I wasn't thinking about that,” Slade said, his jaw clenching. Then regaining his enthusiasm, he said, “Friday. We'll just have to do it on Friday. We can both put in for leave that day.” Caitlyn began to think he was talking to himself more than her. “That's even better. We can have our honeymoon over the weekend. Perfect.”
Slade pulled his Camry in front of the barracks and they climbed the stairs to the third floor. Outside her door, he gave her a paternal kiss on the forehead, something he had never done before. Why now? Since they were getting married, correction fake married, did he feel that he had to show some sort of affection? Caitlyn looked at him quizzically.
“I've got to go,” he said.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To figure out the red tape. You know, how to get married in Okinawa.”
Caitlyn smirked. “You mean you haven't planned every step of the way.”
Slade smiled. “I wasn't sure you'd say yes. That was plan A. Now that you have, I have to work on plan B.”
She rolled her eyes up to the heavens as he trooped out the door. “You're hopeless, Masters.”
He grinned and said, “Utterly,” then entered his room and shut the door behind him.
Now what was she going to do, she thought as she entered her empty room. It was a Saturday evening and she thought she'd be with Slade. Maybe it was a good time to call her friend, Laura, back in the States. Everything was moving too fast. She needed to talk to someone who had some distance so they could be objective. But, first she figured she may as well take a long bath.
“Donnelly? Sanchez?” Caitlyn said as she knocked on the door separating the rooms. “I'm going to take a bath in a few in case you need the bathroom.” She shared a bathroom with two privates who had recently arrived in Okinawa, while she was lucky to have her own room for a few weeks since her roommate had recently returned to Camp Pendleton. As a Lance Corporal, she wasn't high enough up on the chain of command to warrant her own room and another Marine was moving in in two weeks. A stranger moving in to share her cramped space. Being the youngest of two brothers and two sisters, she dreamed of the day she’d have her own space and a little privacy, another reason that made Slade’s proposal difficult to refuse.
She heard Sanchez's voice come from the other side. “Go ahead.”
Caitlyn had the urge to knock again and talk to Sanchez about her situation. But since they didn't know each other that well yet, she didn't think she could burst in there and bare her soul. Besides, this marriage of convenience had to be kept top secret. Slade told her not to tell anyone. But she had to talk to someone about it. Too bad she had to call from the other side of the world. What she would give to be able to talk to Laura face-to-face. They usually communicated through e-mail as it was so expensive to call from Japan, but this predicament needed a two-way conversation. Oh well, she'd have to worry about her astronomical phone bill next month.
As Caitlyn ran the water, she threw in some lavender bath salts and played an album Slade had bought her a few months before. While they were driving to the beach one day, she heard a song on the radio that she loved—something about a girl in a short skirt and long jacket. She didn't know what it was called, but Slade surprised her the next day by sending her a digital album from a band called Cake. He had done some research on the radio station's web site to figure out the song then bought the album.
He’s such a good guy. If he ever married, he’d be a wonderful, considerate husband for one lucky woman. Until then, I’m happy to be the lucky one.
Caitlyn lay in the tub for so long that the playlist ended and the water had grown cold. Reluctantly, she climbed out of the tub, toweled off, and threw on her pajamas. As she sat down on her bed to call Laura, her eye caught her alpha-hydroxy mask tub and thought she should have used it when she was in the tub. Oh well, it wasn't too late, she could put it on now and let it set while she talked to Laura. She knew she was procrastinating talking to Laura because she knew what Laura was going to say. She was going to tell her that it was a stupid, if not dangerous idea, and that she should go tell Slade the whole deal was off before it progressed any further.
Maybe she shouldn't talk to Laura after all. Did she really want to hear a voice of reason to throw a reality check into her fantasy?
I better do it now before Laura finds out after the fact. She'd kill me if I didn't tell her beforehand.
After slowly brushing her wet hair and putting it up in a towel then carefully putting on her mask, Caitlyn finally sat down and dialed Laura's number. With the zillions of numbers involved in placing an inter
national call, Caitlyn had too much time to think about hanging up.
The phone rang. She could hang up now before Laura answered. On the third ring, Caitlyn was both relieved and frustrated thinking that Laura wasn't home.
Then, she heard, “Hello.”
“Hi Laura, it's me Cait.”
“Hey, what's going on? I haven't talked to you on the phone in ages.”
“Yeah, well. I figured this was best said over the phone.”
“Uh oh,” Laura's voice dropped ominously. “What trouble have you gotten yourself into now?”
“I haven't gotten myself into any trouble,” Caitlyn answered defensively. “As a matter of fact, I called to tell you that I'm getting married.”
“What! To who? Oh my God! This is so exciting. I didn't even know you were seeing anyone.”
“Well, technically, I'm not. Don't get too excited yet. I have to tell you the whole story.”
“Should I sit down for this?”
“Um, yes. I think you should. Remember Slade?”
“Is this the guy you have the hots for, but are too chicken shit to let him now?”
“Yes, that's the one. Although there are legitimate reasons—I would not call them being too scared.”
“Yeah, sure,” Laura said with disbelief. Then her voice brightened when she asked, “Did you finally tell him you want him? Did he say he wanted to bonk you, too? And then after you both admitted you wanted to get it on, did he propose?”
“Um, let's see. No. No. And yes.”
“What? I don't get it.”
“Well, you see, it's complicated.” Caitlyn proceeded to tell Laura the whole story, beginning with Slade's proposal and ending with him figuring out how they can get married this Friday.
“Oh God, Caitlyn. You've got to be kidding me. Are you seriously considering marrying this guy who doesn't love you just so you can get to live in an apartment?”
“No. Correction. So I can live in an apartment off base with him.”
“But, Caitlyn, he’s not into you that way. You told me he just thinks of you as a friend. How on earth can you stand to be living with some guy who you're crazy about, but who only thinks of you as another one of the guys?”
“He doesn’t just think of me as one of the guys, Laura.”
“Are you screwing him?”
“Well, no.”
“Then forget it. If he doesn't see how hot you are right now and if he hasn't made a move in all these months, it's not going to happen.”
“Laura,” she said as she tried to think of an explanation.
“Is he gay?”
“No. He’s had girlfriends before. Just not since I’ve known him.”
“Suspect, don’t you think? It might be a cover.”
“He’s not gay.” That would be a tragic discovery for all of womankind, especially her.
“Caitlyn, listen to yourself. You sound utterly ridiculous. This isn't some fairy tale, this is real life. He is not some romantic guy who wants to whisk you off your feet, he's some conniving bastard who's using you to get what he wants.”
“You don't know him. He's not conniving at all. He's very sweet. He does a lot for me.”
“Then why is he risking your career?”
“He's risking his, too.”
“And for what? Is it really that bad living in the barracks?”
“It's—I don’t know how to describe it. Imagine living in a dorm-like situation only there's nineteen guys to every one girl. You’re under a microscope all day. Many guys treat you like you’re a piece of meat because so many other guys are doing it, so they think it’s okay.”
“It's still no reason to get into a fake marriage. It would be legal, you know, not some game. It would be on your permanent record. How would you explain to someone down the road, someone who you really love and want to marry, that you had a marriage of convenience back in your Marine Corps days?”
“I honestly care about Slade and I don’t want to think about being with anyone else right now so it’s not an issue.”
“But do you love him?”
Caitlyn didn’t answer. She didn’t know how to answer.
“And he doesn’t love you. You don't honestly think that he's going to suddenly fall in love with you once you get married, do you?” Laura asked.
Caitlyn remained silent.
“Caitlyn?”
Frustrated, Caitlyn chose not to answer. She knew Laura was being sensible while she didn't have any sense at the moment. “Why can't you be happy for me? I'm getting married. Who cares about the reasoning behind it?”
“I can't be happy for you because you're setting yourself up to get hurt. I don't want you getting screwed over.”
“Who says I will?”
“The law of probability.”
“Laura, why do you have to be such a realist? Don't you have a romantic bone in your body?”
“Caitlyn, let me ask you something. Why did you call me of all people to talk to about this? You know how I would react. You probably wanted to hear it.”
“That's not true,” Caitlyn lied. She knew that was exactly why she wanted to talk to Laura.
“What about your parents? What are you going to tell them?”
“Umm. I'll probably tell them the truth. They know we're friends. I'll explain how we decided to do this together and our reasons for doing so.”
Laura exhaled audibly. “Well, I know you. And it's not like you're going to listen to me anyway. Once you have your mind settled on something, I may as well talk myself blue in the face. So congratulations, I suppose.”
“What? That's it?” Caitlyn asked incredulously.
“What's the point in talking about it any further? You obviously have your mind made up. I hope it works out well for you and that you don't get into any serious military shit.”
“Well, fine. Thanks, I guess,” Caitlyn said coolly.
“Bye,” Laura returned, equally frosty, then she hung up.
Caitlyn wanted to throw the phone across the room. Why couldn't Laura be happy for her? Why couldn't she be optimistic for once?
She's right, Caitlyn thought. I'm being stupid and blind. I should listen to her.
Her fuming was interrupted by a knock on the door.
Chapter Four
“Who is it?” Caitlyn asked.
“Me.”
Was he psychic or what? Just as she was starting to think doubts about this whole marriage thing, Slade showed up. But hearing the sound of his voice sent such a thrill through her body, her doubts dissipated.
When Caitlyn threw open the door, Slade gasped. “Am I interrupting?”
“No, why? I just got off the phone with my friend.”
“Your face.”
“My face?” Caitlyn asked, then glanced in the mirror. “Agh. Oh my God, I look like the Incredible Hulk.” The anger was still on her face from Laura's call and combined with the green mask, she looked positively scary, “Go away, go away!”
Slade chuckled and strode into the room, closing the door behind him. “If we're going to be living together, I have to get used to seeing you in all your glory.”
Caitlyn furiously began splashing water on her face. How could she have forgotten the face mask? Yes, this was a real good way to seduce the man you wanted—scaring him away.
“I found out what we need to do by Friday,” Slade said.
“That's nice,” Caitlyn said. She was more concerned with getting the green goop off her face than anything else right now.
“So here's the plan,” Slade said.
“We need to get blood tests,” Slade began.
While Slade laid out the details, Caitlyn realized that she wasn't as enthusiastic as she was earlier. She couldn't get her conversation with Laura to stop replaying in her head. Why did she have to put a damper on this whole affair? A voice nagged in the back of her mind saying Laura was right. She was being deceitful. They were being deceitful no matter how they rationalized it. And she wasn’t
being straight with Slade either. He saw it as a business proposal, a marriage of convenience and she hoped that it might lead to…
No, she couldn’t go there unless she wanted to end up hurt. But she couldn't back out of it now. Well, she supposed she could. Nothing was set in stone. She didn't want to back out of it.
“So I guess it's all settled.” Caitlyn forced a smile.
****
During the work week, Caitlyn’s mood lifted. Although she was usually no-nonsense and professional at work, focused on the various legal paperwork she was responsible for managing, she was distracted by the wedding. She daydreamed about the affair, swept up in the excitement. During lunch or after work, she took care of little details and paperwork before their wedding on Friday.
When she passed Slade in the office, she asked, “Are you going to class at Kadena tonight?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Can I hitch a ride with you? They have a better PX and I have to shop for some things.”
“Like what?”
“A dress.”
Caitlyn never learned how to drive. A car accident, when she was, fifteen left her scarred both mentally and physically. Luckily, Okinawa had a decent public transportation system and a number of taxis. And since she spent much of her free time with Slade, when he wasn’t in class or studying, she rarely had to use them. He drove them all over the island.
The shopping area on the Air Force base was much bigger than the one on their Marine one and she needed to find a wedding dress. Not the traditional type, but a simple dress that she bought especially for her big day. The last place she ever expected to buy her wedding gown from was a military PX, but she didn't know where else to look in town. Most of her shopping off base was for gift items to send back home.
“Can I help you find something?” a saleswoman asked.
A Marine’s Proposal Page 4