by JoAnn Durgin
“Guys might not use the word much, but guaranteed, we think about it.”
“Sawyer, why are we talking about wedding gowns? Is this your roundabout way of asking if I’ve ever been married?”
“Only if you want it to be. Let me ask it this way: did you want to grow up to be a princess? Isn’t that every little girl’s dream?”
“I think so. That’s how it was for me. Either a princess or a ballerina. How about Allie? What was her dream?”
His laughter rang out, breaking the stillness of the night. “Allie wanted to be a party girl. Meaning she wanted to plan parties, execute them, and most importantly, be at the center of as many as she could.”
“Did she accomplish her goal?”
“Until she was about fifteen. Then she realized that life is about more than parties and having a good time. She found Christ at the same time I did—at a youth rally we attended with some good friends—and then Allie discovered a whole different focus outside of herself. She worked in the corporate world as a financial analyst for a few years, now she’s a wife and mother.”
Most of the people she knew, even friends from church, didn’t talk about Christ except with other believers. This man seemed to have no hesitation, no embarrassment. Cole’s faith had been quiet and private. He attended church regularly, but she’d never heard him openly discuss spiritual things.
After pedaling in silence for another minute, Sawyer lowered his head as he waited to make a turn at the corner closest to her apartment building. When he raised his head and turned to face her, his eyes shimmered in the moonlight. “Allie lost an infant son to SIDS between my niece and her twin boys. Partly to honor his memory, she devotes a lot of time to fundraising for Peyton Manning’s Children’s Hospital.”
Sawyer’s sentiment stole her breath. “Allie sounds like a lovely, compassionate woman.” For the past few months, she’d felt the conviction to do something positive and lasting in Cole’s memory. Until now, the tragedy of losing him had cut too deep to her core—it had devastated her and drained her of her energy, hopes and dreams. By opening the dancing school, she’d reclaimed her purpose by helping young girls learn how to be graceful, gain confidence, and develop a healthy, positive self-image. Hearing about Allie’s commitment to helping others stirred her thoughts. Perhaps it was time to start thinking of a tangible way to honor Cole’s legacy.
A faint ringing sounded, loud in the quiet night. Ava retrieved her phone from her purse on the floorboard. Heather. “Excuse me a minute. I need to take this call.”
“Ava, hi. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.”
“Thanks. I’m almost there now.”
“I hated to leave you, but the boss—you know, bossy Miss Carlisle—insisted I leave.”
“I know. Thanks for all your help today. I couldn’t have done it without you. Take it easy tonight and rest up tomorrow. I’ll see you soon.”
“Everything okay?” Sawyer said as she returned the phone to her purse.
Ava rotated her shoulders. “Fine.”
“Boyfriend?”
She stared at him, the beginnings of irritation stirring within her. “No, I don’t date, remember? Not that it’s any of your business.”
“I was only going to say he’s a blessed man. If you did date. Not that you do. I’m also unattached.”
Annoyance nipped her again although she liked his use of the word blessed instead of lucky. “I didn’t say I was unattached. And I assumed you were unattached since you said you don’t date.”
That stopped him for only a moment. “Sorry. I assumed, since… Tell me about him if you’d like.”
What are we even talking about here? No need to tell him about her ill-fated engagement cut short by a car accident on an icy stretch of highway right before Christmas a little more than two years ago. “The fact of the matter is, I’m attached to a memory.” There. She’d said it out loud.
“Wow. That’s…tough.”
“I’d rather hear about you, Sawyer. Have you ever been married?”
“No.” Sawyer pedaled another few hundred yards before speaking again. “I had a long-term relationship, though. She was a good person with a great heart. We’d known each other since fourth grade and started dating off and on when we were both students at IU Bloomington. Everyone expected we’d eventually marry. In retrospect, I think we were too much alike and didn’t challenge one another. We didn’t have that spark between us that you need to be more than friends.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t for lack of conversation.” Ouch. What made her say such a thing?
“Very funny.”
“I’m sorry, Sawyer. That was unbelievably rude.” Ava bit her lower lip as he pedaled for more than a minute without saying another word. Not a peep, not a grunt, not a cough, snort or sound from the man. None. Nothing.
The silence grew too long between them. This night was so wonderfully weird, but she hated to think she’d upset him with her sarcastic, callous remark. “You have a way of throwing me off balance since you’re so open and transparent. You’re not offended, are you?”
“No worries. I pretty much deserved that one.” He gave her a thumbs-up with his right hand but didn’t turn or glance over his shoulder. “Thanks for keeping me in line.”
“I’m really sorry your relationship didn’t work out.”
“Me too.” His voice had grown softer with those last words.
Ava hugged her arms across her chest, chilled by the bitter breeze as Sawyer rounded a corner and pulled the pedicab within a block of her building. Finally. Shivering, she snuggled the blanket closer about her, and caught a whiff of its scent. Earthy and masculine. Familiar. A man who’d sat in this same pedicab recently used the same cologne Cole had always worn.
Ava’s eyes widened. She was smiling. Tonight, the memories of Cole hadn’t brought tears and the usual sadness. Lifting her chin to the night sky, she released a deep sigh of what, exactly? Relief. Wonder. Surprise. All of the above.
In that moment, Sawyer glanced at her over one broad shoulder. This time, he stole her breath in an entirely new way.
Chapter 3
~~♥~~
Bringing the pedicab to a smooth stop in front of her apartment building, Sawyer hopped down from the bike with the ease of a practiced athlete. Pulling out a chain from somewhere beneath the bench seat—he must have a treasure box under there—he quickly wrapped it around the base of a parking meter and then looped it to the front tires.
With a smile, he pulled back the canopy and offered his hand. “The man with the three-wheeled bicycle is now going to escort you to the door.”
“Sawyer, I’m ten feet away from the building.” Rising to her feet, Ava quickly folded the blanket before taking his proffered hand and stepping down to the sidewalk. “This neighborhood is generally safe. I seriously doubt someone will try to steal your pedicab.”
“You’d be surprised. Just protecting my investment.” He saw her skeptical brow and shook his head. “Okay, fine. Have it your way, but I’m going to plant myself right here on the sidewalk, and I’m not leaving until I see you go inside and the door closes behind you.”
“Are you always this…thorough. . .with all your clients?” Not to mention random, crazy, handsome, fabulous, incredibly appealing?
“No. Only for the most special clients.” His gaze held hers. “Good night, Ballerina. Find something to eat and then get some sleep. Sweet dreams.”
“No fair saying something like that.”
Sawyer tilted his head. “Like what? Calling you Ballerina? Or the sweet dreams part?”
Ava shook her head. “Never mind. Good night, Sawyer. I’ve never had such an entertaining ride home. It was a roller coaster ride without ever leaving the ground.”
“Meaning?” He stepped closer.
You drive me crazy. One minute laughing and the next sentimental and hovering on the verge of tears. What was happening between them? She’d never felt so drawn to a man so quickly, n
ot even Cole.
“Thank you for making me smile.” Their gazes locked again for a few seconds, but it wasn’t awkward. She needed to slip inside the door, push thoughts of this man out of her mind, and enjoy sweet dreams that had nothing to do with Sawyer the Pedicab Man. As if that would work. She wouldn’t soon forget this man’s gorgeous smile, those eyes. His compassion and humor. Lord help her if he started spouting Italian.
You’re losing it, girl. Time to go inside.
“You’re more than welcome, Ava.” Her name from Sawyer’s lips sounded familiar, his voice husky as if clogged with the cold night air. “It’s been my privilege.”
Sawyer possessed an uncanny ability to render her nearly speechless. This man she barely knew. After she’d first met Cole, it had taken months before she knew as much about him as Sawyer had already discovered about her in a six-block trip.
Because Cole hadn’t asked questions. Sawyer did, and more importantly, he listened to her answers.
Comparisons weren’t fair to either man, but meeting Sawyer tonight gave her a glimpse of freedom. Freedom from the loss and loneliness she’d lived with since her fiancé’s death. Hope for the future. For that, she’d always remember him.
More than anyone else, Cole wouldn’t want her to be sad and live the rest of her life without finding love again. He’d be the first person to tell her that would only be existing, and he’d be right. They’d never discussed the possibility of either one of them dying. If the circumstances were reversed, Ava would have wanted Cole to find another woman, marry, and raise children with her.
Wow. Now I’m practically having a conversation with my dead fiancé. About a man I just met tonight. A man I may never see again.
Nothing made sense but she was smiling again. That was an encouraging breakthrough.
A strange sensation flooded her senses as Ava walked toward the building. Twenty minutes ago, she was about to drop from exhaustion. Now she was reinvigorated with a renewed energy that had nothing whatsoever to do with the brisk cold air. She’d love to spend more time talking with Sawyer, unwinding in the comfort and warmth of her apartment. Share a cup of coffee, talk, and find out more about him. But she couldn’t invite this man inside her apartment. In part because of the lateness of the hour, doing so would be too forward and convey the wrong message. She’d never had loose morals and she wasn’t about to start now. Reaching the front door, she punched in the security code.
“Ava?”
Turning around slowly, she gave him a small smile. “Yes?” If he asked to see her again, would she—should she, could she—accept?
It’s been two years. Long enough. But she’d told Sawyer she didn’t date. He didn’t date.
If nothing else, tonight was a turning point. Being attracted to another man wasn’t a betrayal of Cole’s memory. Heather had been telling her that for a while now, but she’d been resistant to the idea.
Sawyer walked toward her. “You forgot this.” Her breath caught when she glimpsed her small purse in his hand.
“Thank you.” Their hands touched and lingered a few seconds when she took the purse from him. “Protecting the best interests of your clients is very important to you, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
Their gazes locked again. At almost five foot eight, she estimated he must be at least six foot one. She almost swayed from his nearness, heady from the warmth emanating from him.
This is crazy.
Snapping out of her trance, Ava reached into the purse, fumbling for her coin purse where she’d tucked a few bills earlier that morning. “Forgive me. I can’t believe I haven’t paid you yet.”
She wasn’t losing her mind but her heart might very well be melting.
“This ride’s on the house. Tricycle. Whatever. Call it my Ballerina Special.” When his slow grin emerged, Ava’s stomach did a little somersault.
“Thanks, but I’m not a charity case.”
“I would have paid for the honor of bringing you home. Wait a second”—he frowned—“that didn’t come out right either. I’m not always the most articulate guy on the block, especially at this hour. I meant—”
“I know what you meant. Thank you again. I had a wonderful time meeting you and. . .Goose.” Why did this feel like the end of a date?
“If the need arises for pedicab service in the future, I hope you’ll call on me.” After giving her a small wave, Sawyer quickly unlocked and stored the chain and then slid onto the bicycle seat.
“Sawyer?”
He glanced up at her. “Yes?”
“Please don’t think I was making fun of you and your profession. Not at all. I admire you. Very much. Just so you know, I’m also God-honoring, sane, and…that other thing you said. I don’t know why, but I felt the need to tell you.”
“I know all those things, but thanks for the confirmation. Good night.”
“Good night.”
The buzzer sounded, startling her, reminding her to close the front door. Sawyer gave her a one-handed salute and waited. Oh no, she wouldn’t soon forget that smile.
Ava walked inside and closed the door.
Chapter 4
~~♥~~
“I need your help, little brother.”
“Always. What’s on today’s agenda? You know I’m always available to help on Tuesdays.” Sawyer had enough guys working tonight that he didn’t need to show up unless he felt like it, one of the best perks of operating his own business. He never minded pedaling for the exercise benefit alone, but having the option was nice.
From his cell phone on the counter beside him, he heard his sister’s deep sigh as he gathered the ingredients for his omelet. Allie sounded frazzled more often than he liked these days. No wonder. She served on multiple committees, worked part-time from home for Matt’s advertising firm, and had three kids including twin boys still in diapers. Made him tired just thinking about it. Sawyer listened as she gave him the rundown.
Remembering he had some green pepper slices he needed to use soon or toss, Sawyer retrieved the plastic bag from the refrigerator.
“So, if you could pick up Sophia and her friend Katie at school at 2:45 and then drop them off at the dance studio, I’ll swing by after my meeting and get them.”
“Sounds easy enough although the parents in that carpool lane can get a little horn happy. People need to learn how to chill out. Patience is a valuable attribute.”
“Sawyer, when you were part of the corporate world, I remember telling you more than once to slow down and be more patient.”
Somehow he’d managed to get through four years plus the MBA program at Indiana University. Who knew the pedicab venture would take off and afford a lifestyle he’d never expected? The Lord had blessed his modicum of business sense and, combined with his brother-in-law’s advertising expertise, Mancini’s Pedicabs had prospered beyond his wildest hopes. Darcy had been right about him starting the business. Her foresight had been a gift from God. She’d been a gift.
“Are you saying I’m easier to live with now?” Dumping the peppers into the egg mixture, he grabbed a wire whisk from a drawer.
“Never. You’re still doing some independent contract work, right?”
“Yep, and I’m the first to admit I have the best of both worlds. Blessed and proud of it. Now, back to Sophia’s school. What’s with the vigilant crossing guard? That woman takes no prisoners.”
Allie laughed. “That’s Mervyna. Isn’t she great? She’s been at the school since 1978.”
“Mervyna? God love her. Yeah, she’s great. Mervyna can blow that whistle and direct crosswalk traffic like nobody’s business. Synchronicity in motion. I hope you realize most men would balk at the idea of transporting ballerinas across town. But I consider it a high honor, especially since one of them is my favorite niece and she gives irresistible hugs.” He moved the omelet pan to the stove and turned the burner on low.
“She thinks the world of her Uncle Sawyer, too. Thanks for all you do.”
�
�Welcome.” He whisked vigorously. “How long is the dance lesson?”
“It starts at 3:15 and ends at 4:30.”
“Okay. Call me back and leave a message on my cell or else text message the name of the studio and the address. I’ve got my hands full in the kitchen at the moment.” He poured the runny mixture into the omelet pan.
“Making one of your famous omelets?”
“Trying my best.” He’d slept like a log and was hungrier than he’d realized. “Come on over and I’ll share.”
“Wish I could, but I’ll take a rain check. Who knew retiring from the corporate life would keep me running around like a crazy woman?”
“It’s called motherhood and you love it. You’re crazy good at it, too. Most rewarding work you could ever do.” When she didn’t answer immediately, Sawyer stopped stirring. “Goose? You okay?”
“Fine. Just eternally tired without an end in sight. And when are you ever going to give up that silly nickname? I’m thirty-two years old now, not seven.”
“Tell that to the little boy inside me. You’ll always be my Goose, no matter how old we are. Okay, here’s what you do. Drop the kids off here with me some Friday night. I can handle diaper changes, bedtime stories, and feedings for one evening.” He smiled. “I’m feeling brave, not to mention generous. I’ll play tea party with Sophia and you can even leave them overnight, if you want. You and Matt can go share a romantic dinner by candlelight and make an all-nighter of it at some five-star resort. Sleep in, room service, hot tub, champagne breakfast. The works.”
“That sounds tempting,” Allie said. If he wasn’t mistaken, he heard a touch of longing. “Interesting suggestion coming from the committed bachelor. I’ll be sure and mention it to Matt. Some pampering sounds like a dream come true.”
The aroma of cooking peppers, onions, and Canadian bacon tantalized Sawyer’s senses. “If I were you, I’d seize the moment. This might turn out to be a limited, once-a-year offer, you know.”