by Jen Andrews
Andy took my hand in his and gently rubbed his thumb over mine. “I’ll say yes to whatever you want to do though,” he said as he gazed lovingly into my eyes.
“How about we find a justice of the peace Monday morning?” I laughed. “I’m ready now.”
Our appetizers arrived, and as we ate, we talked about wedding ideas. We discussed everything from a huge wedding to a small wedding with only our family and friends at the Tate’s house or the vineyard’s main house.
I found myself watching Andy a lot through dinner. He never stopped smiling, never took his eyes off me or his aunt and uncle. He seemed to be genuinely happy and content. He even shared a few stories about his mom, dad, and sister. It had me thinking again about the ‘kids by age thirty’ thought of his.
By the time our dinner arrived, I was a little sick to my stomach from worrying about it. I told him we would get serious about it after the wedding, and I meant it. He had a ring on my finger and a promise to marry him, so I hoped it would be enough until then.
“Hey, you okay?” he leaned in and whispered in my ear.
I nodded my head, trying to get my brain to snap out of thinking too seriously about something that wouldn’t happen for a while. “Yeah, I’m good. Just lost in thought, as usual,” I replied as I gave his thigh a squeeze under the table.
We finished our dinner and decided to skip dessert. The food was delicious, and nobody left any room for it. Hamish opened the restaurant door leading to the parking lot, and as I passed through the doorway, something caught my attention.
More like someone.
A man was standing near our car, and he seemed to be waiting for someone. As we approached him, I heard Andy suck in a breath and mutter something I didn’t comprehend.
The man took a few steps toward us. “Andrew fucking Tate!” he bellowed as he flicked a cigarette onto the ground. “What the fuck are you doing back in this area?”
I wasn’t sure if he was a friend, a drunk, or just being a jerk. It was hard to tell but I could definitely smell the alcohol coming off him in waves.
I didn’t need to wait long to find out the answer because he stepped closer to Andy and took a swing at him, nearly hitting me in the process. What the fuck? Andy was quicker, dodged the swing, and pushed the man away from us.
The man righted himself and whirled around to face Andy. “How dare you show your face around here after what you put my sister through?” he growled.
“What are you talking about, Corey?” Andy replied. “I didn’t do anything to your sister except sign the divorce papers like she wanted me to.”
Oh shit, the ex’s brother.
We’d talked about her a bit. Her name was Michelle and she divorced Andy via papers left on their dining room table. She wouldn’t even talk to him to tell him why she was divorcing him. She just cited “irreconcilable differences” on the papers. According to her lawyers, she wanted nothing from him except a quick divorce. No explanations, no hassle.
Corey stepped closer to Andy, so close that their chests were almost touching, and Corey’s face was inches from Andy’s. “I’m not talking about the divorce, you piece of shit,” he spat. “I’m talking about Emma.”
An extremely confused expression washed over Andy’s face, and his brows furrowed. “Who is Emma?”
Corey took a step back away from Andy. “Are you kidding me?” he asked. His tone was cold enough to freeze water.
“I don’t know who she is, Corey. Cut the bullshit,” Andy replied, clearly irritated.
“Emma was your daughter,” Corey growled.
Andy stepped back, as if he’d been slapped.
“What are you talking about, Corey?”
I felt like I was going to throw up. Why did Corey say “was” your daughter? Does that mean… My knees weakened, and I felt Hamish grab my elbow to hold me steady while I watched in confusion as the situation unfolded.
“You let my sister go through her entire pregnancy alone, knowing Emma wasn’t going to live to take more than a few breaths.”
My heart sank. Oh no, no, no, this cannot be true. As soon as the thought entered my head, it was as if a light bulb blinked on in Andy’s mind…like he finally understood something.
“She was pregnant…” Andy whispered to himself as he brought his hand up to rub his jaw.
He took in a breath and shook his head slightly before speaking again.
“I don’t know if I believe you. I need to talk to Michelle. She needs to explain this to me. Where is she?”
Unable to gauge his thoughts, I stepped forward and touched his arm. He looked over at me finally. The look in his eyes was complete disbelief. He reached up and ran his hands over his jaw line.
He hadn’t done that in months, and now he’d done it twice in the last sixty seconds.
Andy turned his body toward me. “Zoey, I…” his voice faltered before he could get any more words out.
He spun back around to face Corey. “I need to talk to Michelle about this. Tell me how I can contact her.”
Corey smirked. “You can’t expect me to believe you know nothing about your own fucking kid.”
Andy was getting ready to lose it. “I don’t give a fuck what you believe. Just tell me how to get in touch with her,” he seethed through clenched teeth.
“I’m not telling you shit, Tate. You stay the hell away from my sister!” Corey yelled.
Andy took a deep breath and calmed himself down. “Look, Corey, you come here and tell me I’ve done these things, and I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, trying to stay calm. “You’re telling me I have a daughter I know nothing about with my ex-wife?”
Rage flared across Corey’s face. “No, you asshole. I am telling you that you had a daughter. She’s dead, and you weren’t even man enough to be there.”
Oh, please no. This cannot be happening to him. My heart was absolutely breaking for Andy. Reaching out, I took his hand in mine, interlacing our fingers. I knew there was no way in hell he knew anything about it.
He was physically shaking. Andy opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. He was lost in his own thoughts and seemed to be in shock. His face was devoid of expression, and the ever-present sparkle he’d had in his gorgeous blue eyes all day was fading right before my eyes.
Then Corey stepped over to me. “This guy is a piece of shit. You better run while you can you dumb bitch,” he muttered, the stench of liquor and cigarette smoke on his breath when he spoke almost made me gag.
Suddenly, Andy came back from his trance, let go of my hand, and landed a punch right on Corey’s jaw, knocking his drunken ass to the ground. He dropped to his knees and seized Corey by the throat, pushing his head down onto the asphalt of the parking lot.
“Don’t you fucking talk to her,” he hissed at Corey. Andy punched him again, this time in the ribs.
Nobody saw the second punch coming. It happened so fast we were all stunned.
Hamish pushed past me, reached down, and grabbed Andy’s arms. “A.J., come on. Get up. Let him go.”
Corey’s face was turning a gross shade of red by that time, but Andy listened to Hamish. He released his hold on Corey’s throat and stood up. “Get the hell out of here,” Andy growled at him.
Corey actually listened to Andy and walked away. He staggered toward the parking lot, coughing and holding his throat.
Andy turned to me. His face was pale. “Zoey, I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
His entire body was trembling. I couldn’t tell if it was because of his adrenaline from getting in to a fight, or if it was from the shock of Corey’s revelations.
“Are you alright?” I asked, worried. He shook his head and held me tighter. He was definitely not okay.
I heard sirens in the distance. Great, someone called the cops. “We need to go now,” Sarah said as she looked in the direction of the sirens. We hurried to the car and left, passing by the cop car as w
e pulled out onto the road.
Andy sat quietly in the back seat with the side of his head resting up against the window. He had his elbow propped on the armrest with his hand over his eyes, rubbing them with his fingers. I refused to sit and let him worry, but his aunt and uncle weren’t saying anything.
Everyone was in shock, but he needed us.
“Andy?” I said quietly.
He shook his head as if he wasn’t ready to talk yet. Thankfully, he held out his hand to me, and I took it in mine to comfort him. I unhooked my seatbelt and slid across to the middle seat. I wrapped my arms around him and tried to pull him closer. He wrapped his arm around me, but it wasn’t to embrace me, it was to pull the seatbelt across me and strap me in.
I felt nothing but grief for him. The tears flooded my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. “Don’t push me away,” I whispered. He finally looked me in the eyes. “Please…”
He reached up and gently wiped the tears from my face. “Sorry, Beautiful. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t make me cry. My heart is breaking for you. What do you want me to do?” I asked. “I’ll do anything to help you. Just name it.”
I would toss my birth control the second we got home, if I thought it would make him happy again.
He let out a shaky breath and laced his fingers with mine before he spoke. “Can everyone listen to me for a minute, please?” he asked, his voice still wavering.
“Of course, A.J.,” Sarah said as she turned around to face us with tears in her eyes.
We sat and waited while he gathered his thoughts, his thumb gently moved back and forth over my hand. “I want you all to know that I didn’t know about Emma. I hope none of this is true.”
Andy took another deep breath. “I swear on my parents and sister that I didn’t know.”
He exhaled loudly then turned back toward the window. He was still shaking. “I didn’t fucking know…” he whispered, his breath fogging up the window.
The pain in his eyes, right before he turned away, reinforced to me he was telling the truth. He hadn’t known about her.
Andy had once again been completely blindsided.
“A.J., you don’t need to do that. Nobody in this car doubts you,” Hamish said firmly. “I promise we’ll help you get to the bottom of this.”
Nobody spoke the rest of the ride home.
We walked inside the house and sat in the living room, waiting for someone to be the first to speak. I found the bar and poured four glasses of Johnnie Walker. I handed Hamish and Sarah their glasses, then went back to the bar to pick up Andy’s and mine. I joined him on the couch. He looked like his entire world had just fallen apart.
He sat staring straight ahead, his face pale and his eyes distant. I eased closer to him on the couch and handed him his glass.
“Here, drink this. Try to relax, please.”
He looked at me and gave me a quick nod. “Thank you.”
Andy downed his drink in one gulp, so I gave him mine. The four of us sat silently for what seemed like hours.
Hamish was the first to speak. “Maybe we should call it a night and take some time to let this sink in. We can figure out what to do in the morning.”
Andy nodded and stood up as if he were on autopilot. He was there physically, but mentally, he was gone. I knew that feeling all too well, and it made me sick to see him going through this. Sarah and Hamish said their goodnights, leaving us alone in the living room.
“Hey,” I said quietly, stepping toward him. “Let’s go lie down. We don’t have to talk about this tonight if you don’t want to.” He nodded and took my hand, leading me to his room.
I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth while he stripped down to his boxer briefs and slipped into bed. When I finished in the bathroom, I found him lying in the dark on his back, his hands underneath the back of his head, just staring at the ceiling.
I turned on my lamp and crawled into bed with him. “Do you want to be alone?” I asked hesitantly. “I can go sleep in the other room if you do.” I was hoping he wanted me to stay with him, but sometimes people need to be alone to mull things over before talking to someone.
He reached out and pulled me down to rest my head in the crook of his neck. “Stay, please.”
Thank God. I didn’t want to leave him, but I didn’t want to crowd him either if he needed space. I draped my arm over him and began tracing his tattoos with my fingertip.
I kept quiet because I was at a loss for words. ‘I’m sorry’ definitely wasn’t sufficient for what was going on. His ex-wife had been pregnant with their child when she divorced him. It explained why she left the papers on the table while he was at work, and refused all contact with him.
She had to have been hiding it from him, but why? What was it Corey said? Something like Michelle went through the entire pregnancy alone, knowing Emma would only take a few breaths.
What happened to that poor, sweet baby to cause her death?
“Zoey, please don’t think I abandoned my own daughter,” Andy said, unexpectedly.
I sat up quickly and placed the palm of my hand on his chest over his rapidly thumping heart. “Never, ever think that. I know you. I know you would never do something like that. Why would you even think it?”
He sat up and studied me, searching my eyes with his. “I’m sorry. I just thought about your birth mom and your situation—”
I rested my palm on his cheek. “Don’t even think it. You can’t compare the two situations.”
His blue eyes held unshed tears. One spilled over and slid down his cheek when he blinked.
My heart stopped beating in my chest.
I had never seen a grown man cry, and I definitely never thought I would see him cry. With my hand shaking, I brushed it away with my thumb.
“I love you so much, Andy. We’ll figure out what’s going on, and we’ll get through this.” I leaned in and lightly pressed my lips against his.
He kissed my forehead then brought his lips back to my mouth. He kissed me hungrily, and my lips parted to let him in.
“I love you, Zoey…I’m so sorry,” he whispered between kisses.
Why did he keep apologizing to me? He didn’t do anything wrong.
He needed me, and I wanted to take his mind off what was going on, for just a little while. We would need to talk about it, just not right then. I kissed him back as desperately as he kissed me. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back on the bed, so he was lying on his back again.
Quickly, I stripped off my pajamas as he pulled off his boxers and tossed them aside. I straddled him and began stroking him gently while he watched me. I released him then crawled over his body to kiss him.
He gave my breast a firm squeeze before he ran his hand down my body between my legs. He began caressing and teasing me with his long, thick fingers. I ran my hand down his chest, over his abs, and began stroking him again.
“You ready for me, baby?” I whispered in his ear before I sat back and sank down onto him. The connection wasn’t close enough. I needed to hold him to show him everything would work out, that we would get through this together. I pulled him up so he was sitting and wound my legs around his waist.
He wrapped his arms around me and clung to me. He was still shaking.
“Andy, look at me. Please?” I asked as I rocked my hips back and forth in a slow rhythmic motion. His eyes shot open, meeting mine.
My heart hurt for him. I slipped my arms around his shoulders as my body picked up speed with his hands guiding my hips. “We will get through this,” I whispered in his ear. “I love you so much.”
Gripping my hips, he abruptly stopped me from moving and let out a tortured sob. His body shuddered as he let go and wrapped his arms tightly around me.
I felt like I was going to die when I heard him cry. My own tears silently spilled over because I couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain, but I needed to stay strong for him. He had been my lifeboat when I fel
t like I was sinking in a sea of depression. It was my turn to be his lifeboat, and I would do anything to keep him afloat.
My man was absolutely broken. I felt his tears on my collarbone where his face was buried in the crook of my neck.
Without warning, he flipped us over, so I was lying on the bed, with him between my legs. He centered himself over me and pushed himself back inside me, thrusting hard, as if he needed to be in control of something in his life right then.
Balancing with his elbows by my shoulders, our fingers intertwined above my head, he kissed me urgently. His falling tears mixed with mine on my face.
“Zoey…I’m so sorry…so sorry,” he mumbled.
I squeezed my eyes shut to dull the ache from his continuous apologies. They were breaking me in two.
He continued to thrust in and out of me, seeking his release. Overcome with emotions and the heaviness of his weight on me, my body was on fire for him. I was so close—his breathing was coming rapidly, hot on my neck, his thrusts harder and faster, needing a final release, but not getting it.
My body began shaking and constricting around him. Moaning with my orgasm, I let go of his hands and scraped my nails hard down his back the way he liked.
“Harder please, Zoey,” he mumbled. “Please…”
I did it again as hard as possible, not wanting to hurt him, but he would just beg me to do it repeatedly if I didn’t. He ground his hips against me and exhaled loudly as he reached orgasm. His body collapsed on mine while he emptied himself inside me.
He pulled out and slid down to rest his head on my chest. His full weight was on me and I had a hard time breathing, but I didn’t care. He could stay there all night. I was not going to let him carry the weight of the whole situation by himself. For him, I would carry it all. If he needed to be close to me, then so be it. I took in a deep breath and let it out, calming my nerves.
He rose up on his elbows. “Sorry, I’ll get off of you,” he whispered.
“No, please stay,” I wrapped my arms and legs around him so he wouldn’t move.
“I’m too heavy, Zoey.” He slid off me part of the way, so half of his body was on the bed, the other half was still on me.