The Long, Hot Texas Summer

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  Abruptly, Amanda got up, set the envelope aside and paced the length of the porch while Justin and the dogs watched in concern.

  “But of course,” she said, throwing up her hands, “the post office was closed by the time I got there.” She finished recounting her story. “But, despite everything, I was determined to turn this debacle around. So after I left the hospital last night, I drove to Dallas, checked into a hotel and went to the Lone Star United Foundation offices first thing this morning to hand over the big grant application in person.”

  Impressed she had done all that instead of just throwing in the towel, Justin asked curiously, “Did they accept it?”

  Amanda hung her head in shame. “No. Apparently, a deadline is a deadline. We’re welcome to try again next year, of course, but that won’t help us in the meantime...which is why,” she went back to get her envelope and handed it over, “I’m resigning.”

  Justin took the letter only because he didn’t want to tussle with her. Refusing to open it, he said, “You don’t have to do that.”

  Amanda dug in her heels. “You spent weeks working on that grant application.”

  “There will be others.” The stunning truth was, he meant it. He knew he could always find a way to fund-raise for the ranch. However, he couldn’t replace the woman standing before him, the woman who had come to mean so much to him, the woman who had lit up his life like nothing that had ever come before.

  “There shouldn’t have to be other grants,” Amanda lamented. She raked her hands through her butterscotch-blond hair. “The truth is, I never should have taken this job.”

  He set the envelope aside and stepped closer, still hoping to talk sense into her. He caught her by the shoulders again, holding her when she would have run. “Then why did you?” he asked quietly.

  Tears spilled out of her eyes. “Because, Justin, I thought I could help kids who had been as unfortunate as I had been growing up. Make them feel cared for and valued, the way Granddad and Gran made me feel.”

  “Lamar felt—feels—that way, Amanda, and all because of you.”

  “And you.”

  An awkward silence fell.

  “Face it, Justin, because I have. Lamar could have died because I didn’t realize he couldn’t read. When I think back on all the times I should have noticed...but I didn’t even once suspect it!”

  “You weren’t alone in that.”

  She stepped closer, vibrating with emotion. “The point is, you didn’t just accept his recalcitrance as par for the course the way I did. You asked the questions that led to his confession.”

  “It could just as easily have been you.” And would have been, Justin knew, given a little more time.

  Amanda sighed with palpable guilt and shook her head. “I don’t think so.” The dogs moved closer, trying to comfort her. She refused their loyalty and affection, too.

  Once again, she turned her attention to the burned-out shed that was set to be removed in its entirety later in the day. “And let’s not forget that I am the one who put Lamar in danger, too, by leaving him to finish up and clean those brushes alone.”

  Justin wasn’t about to cast the first stone. “So you learned a valuable lesson,” he said, more than ready to forgive and forget.

  She swung around to face him, planting her hands on her hips. “Like where I belong and where I don’t.”

  Justin tried another way to reach her. “I understand what it is to fail a kid you want to help. To be so ticked off at yourself you want nothing more than to run away. I felt the same way when Billy Scalia died. But eventually I came to my senses, just as I am asking you to do now, and realized that blaming myself accomplished nothing.”

  “I disagree. It led you to move on, to where you belong, just as I intend to do.”

  That had an ominous ring. “You belong on this ranch, Amanda.”

  “No, I don’t, Justin.” More tears spilled. “I know what everyone thought, but they’re wrong. I’m not a local hero. I’m not the role model the kids who come here are going to need. You are.”

  Her declaration hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest. And suddenly, Justin knew. “You were never going to stay, were you? Never going to leave behind your nomadic ways and move into the lodge for good.” He regarded her with deep disappointment. “You were always going to leave.” He had just been too foolishly hung up on her to see the truth. “It was just a matter of when.” Bitterly, he walked away from her.

  She followed, hands outstretched, wanting his forgiveness if nothing else. “That’s not true,” she protested.

  “Isn’t it? This whole time you’ve had one foot out the door. It’s why you’re rushing to get out now.”

  Silence fell. She wanted to deny it. In the end, he noted sadly, she couldn’t.

  “We can still see each other—from time to time.”

  Her offer was a pale imitation of what they could have had. He shook his head, his mood every bit as melancholy as hers. “No, Amanda, we can’t do things halfway. You’re either in this all the way, or you’re out.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  The hell he didn’t.

  He set his jaw. “If you walk out on this ranch now, it’s the same as walking out on me.” The one thing he wouldn’t—couldn’t—tolerate was another woman who put her own needs or wants above their relationship.

  “Then I’m out,” Amanda said sadly, her heart every bit as trampled as his. “Don’t you see?” She covered her eyes and walked away. “I have no choice.”

  * * *

  ONE WEEK LATER, Amanda sat in front of the television in her granddad’s home, watching—and rewatching—the KTLZ segment on the soon-to-open Laramie Boys Ranch.

  There was no doubt about it—Justin was amazing. Everything the kids would need in a mentor. Plus, incredibly well-suited to run the ranch. The board members were also interviewed in the segment, but it was Justin’s vision, drive and energy that stole the day.

  And had stolen her heart.

  Amanda sighed. If only she hadn’t let him down. Let everyone down. But she had, and there was no going back. No use in her ineptitude dragging everyone else down.

  The doorbell rang. Irritated—because the last thing she felt like was talking to anyone—Amanda paused the recording and went to answer.

  Libby, Miss Mim and Mitzy stood on the front porch. “A.B. said we would find you here,” Libby said.

  Amanda wasn’t surprised they’d had no trouble tracking her down. A.B. had been spending a lot of time in Laramie courting Miss Mim. Whereas Amanda had needed time alone. Out of politeness, she ushered them into her granddad’s small, neat, one-story home.

  She shut the door behind them, and mindful of Miss Mim’s age, guided them into the sitting area so the older woman could sit comfortably. “If you’re here to dress me down for botching up the big grant application, there’s no need. I take full responsibility for not getting it in on time, and I feel absolutely terrible.”

  “It’s not an apology we need,” Mitzy said, taking a seat on the sofa, looking as much social worker as friend.

  Libby sank into an armchair with her usual elegance. Miss Mim took the other. All noticed the freeze-frame of Justin and the boys ranch on the TV screen.

  Amanda flushed and hastily switched it off before sitting beside Miss Mim on the sofa.

  All eyes swung back to her. “We’re here because we need you to come back, Amanda,” Libby said.

  Mitzy added, “Justin and Lamar most of all.”

  The notion that she might be missed as much as she missed the two of them hit Amanda square in the heart.

  She swallowed. “I’m sure my leaving left a temporary gap in how things were running,” she acknowledged reluctantly. For one thing, she had been doing most of the meal planning and cooking. “But I
assure you, Justin is more than capable of picking up the slack.”

  Attempting to ease the tension in the room, she shook her head ruefully and said, “Just don’t hire him to do any carpentry. That is definitely not in his skill set. The same way administrative duties are not in mine.” He was better at rescuing homeless dogs and kids, and even women—like her—who had never experienced true, romantic love....

  Libby sobered. “We realize now that we threw too much at you at once and have accepted your resignation in the spirit in which it was given. Justin has been appointed ranch director.”

  Something was finally as it should be. “That’s good news,” Amanda said with relief. At least she hadn’t messed that up for Justin. Especially since he had more than deserved to have the job all along. She leaned forward. “How is Lamar doing?” She knew he had completely recovered from smoke inhalation, but other than that...

  “Justin arranged to have Lamar tested last week, and we discovered he has dyslexia.”

  Amanda paused to absorb that. “So, since no one helped him with his disability, he’s had great difficulty learning to read.”

  Mitzy nodded. “Now that we understand what the problem is, we can bring special teachers to the ranch to help him instead of putting Lamar back into the high school, where he could not possibly succeed at this time.”

  No wonder he hadn’t wanted to sign up for classes at LHS. Amanda felt a twinge of guilt for having forced the issue without delving more deeply into the real reason behind Lamar’s truancy.

  “At Justin’s urging, we’ve also decided to focus on students with learning disorders such as dyslexia or dysgraphia,” Libby said happily. “Grouping them together that way will help the kids realize they are not alone.”

  “That certainly makes the selection process easier,” Amanda said.

  Miss Mim sighed. “Sadly, there are far too many kids who need this kind of help. Which is why we want to continue our efforts to quickly expand the funding and the facilities at the boys ranch. And we need your help to do that. Both as the head of the carpentry vocational program and as assistant ranch director.”

  Amanda wanted to help, more than they knew. She had only been there a month, but the ranch still felt like home to her in a way no other place ever had. Which, maybe, was what scared her. The idea that she would come to rely on being there, only to be booted out, the way she had been by her oft-divorcing parents when she was a kid.

  Nevertheless, even though she was tempted to jump at the chance to go back, she felt obligated to remind them, “I not only failed in my previous employment there, but failed badly.” To the point she’d had no choice but to quit in disgrace, lest she drag Justin—and the ranch—down with her.

  Kindness radiated from her visitors.

  “We all make mistakes,” Mitzy said. “What’s important is showing the kids that when you fall down, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going.”

  “What’s that saying? ‘You learn more from any failure than you ever do from any success,’” Libby quoted from memory.

  Miss Mim leaned over and patted Amanda’s hand. “Lamar is counting on you to help him through the tough months ahead, to provide the emotional support and understanding only you can give. You can’t let him down.”

  Suddenly, Amanda was near tears. But she blinked them back, refusing to let herself hope until she knew. “What does Justin think about this?” she asked.

  The three ladies knew the answer to her question. That was clear from the way they looked at each other as they stood and prepared to leave.

  Miss Mim regarded her with a poker face. “That, you will have to ask Justin yourself.”

  * * *

  “GOT A MINUTE?”

  Justin turned to see A. B. Johnson framed in the door of his office. For a brief moment, he hoped that Amanda had come with her grandfather, but A.B. was alone. Justin rose and the two men shook hands. “What can I do for you?” he asked cordially.

  “You can hear an old man out.”

  Appreciating A.B.’s efforts to do right by his beloved granddaughter, Justin gestured for the older gentleman to have a seat and waited.

  A.B. cleared his throat. “Years ago, when Amanda’s parents started having problems, I did my best to stay out of it. In retrospect, I wish I had interfered. Because if I had sat them both down and talked to them about the importance of taking the time to work things out, instead of just getting divorced, maybe everything would have turned out differently.”

  Justin paused. “You think her parents are still in love with each other?”

  A.B. shook his head. “I think they never had a chance to find out what true, lasting love is, because they didn’t hang in there long enough to find out. Instead, they became fixated on the infatuation stage of a relationship, where everything is easy and great, and never learned what it is to work through your problems with the person you love, difficult as that may sometimes be.”

  Justin wished it were that simple. “That’s not the case with Amanda and me.”

  The older man watched him skeptically. “You’re saying you were never infatuated with each other?”

  Justin scoffed. “We were plenty attracted.” To the point he figured he would never get over her.

  A.B. pressed on, “You were never friends, then.”

  Justin wished everyone weren’t so interested in sizing up his emotional state—and offering ways to fix his problems with Amanda. “Amanda and I had the potential to be great friends.”

  “But anything permanent wasn’t in the cards for you.”

  Justin made no effort to hide his growing frustration. “We never got that far.” Although there had been a brief time when he’d dreamed of just that.

  “Exactly my point.” A.B. smiled.

  “I appreciate you stopping by and trying to help...” Justin rose to his feet.

  A.B. remained seated. “But?”

  Justin sighed and sat back down again. “All my life I was taught that I could achieve anything I set my mind to, if I just wanted it bad enough. And worked hard enough.” He swallowed around the clenched feeling in his throat. “I thought the same thing applied to my relationship with Amanda.”

  A.B. nodded compassionately. “Until she quit her job here and took off.”

  Exactly. “I can’t make her want to be here. That has to come from inside.” He pointed to the center of his chest, wishing he did have Amanda’s heart. “And I sure as heck am not going to be with someone who doesn’t value our relationship above all else.” He had done that before. He wasn’t doing it again.

  “I see your point.”

  “You just don’t approve.”

  A.B. stood up and moved slowly toward the door. “I think you’re taking an easy out.”

  Justin stopped Amanda’s granddad before he could leave. “In what way?”

  Their eyes met, man to man. “In accepting her declaration that everything—her relationship with you, her taking a job here, even her getting involved and mentoring Lamar—was all a terrible mistake.”

  He had tried to talk sense into her! Only to have her head for the hills, anyway. “What would you have me do?” Justin lamented.

  A.B. clapped a paternal hand on Justin’s shoulder. “Fight for her as hard as you fought for this ranch. Let her know that you accept there will be setbacks and you’re okay with that.” He paused. “Because what you will have together, if you both take that big leap of faith, will surely be worth it.”

  * * *

  JUSTIN THOUGHT ABOUT everything Amanda’s grandfather had said, and he was still thinking about it when he went out to take care of the new ranch sign. He parked beneath the archway over the entrance, grabbed his toolbox and hopped up into the bed of his truck.

  He was just trying to figure out how to unfasten th
e wooden Lost Pines Ranch sign from the metal arch when a familiar red truck pulled up behind him.

  Amanda got out, her straw hat with the sassy rolled brim pulled low over the sunglasses shading her eyes. Wearing the same short denim skirt, layered tank tops and flip-flops she’d had on the first time they’d met, she sashayed toward him. “Hey there, fella,” she said.

  He tried not to get too excited as he surveyed every gorgeous inch of her. “Hey there, yourself,” he returned softly, getting down from the bed of the truck. Did her sudden appearance mean what he hoped?

  She studied the lopsided sign above them, shook her head and heaved a dramatic sigh. “I heard you were going to attempt this yourself,” she drawled.

  “I can handle it.”

  Amanda strode toward him, her beautiful blond hair glinting in the sunshine. As she neared, he couldn’t help but inhale the citrus scent of her perfume.

  “I’m sure you can.” Amanda stepped closer to inspect the rusty screws bolting the weathered wood to the old iron frame. She took off her sunglasses and hooked them in the neckline of her tank top. “The thing is, you shouldn’t have to.” A pulse worked in her neck as she swept off her hat and set it aside. “At times like this,” she declared, “a man needs a partner.” Her voice caught and she pushed on hoarsely. “The kind of mate who can be counted on to be there through thick and thin.” She paused again, moisture glinting in her pretty amber eyes. “The kind of partner my gran and granddad had in each other.”

  Now they were getting somewhere. Justin fitted his hands around her waist and brought her even closer. “You’re talking marriage?”

  For the first time since she had arrived, she hesitated. “Longevity.”

  He chuckled. “What’s the difference?”

  She tipped her head up. “I don’t know,” she challenged. “You tell me.”

  He wanted her, but needed a real future with her and hoped that she realized that, too. “Longevity could just mean living a long time,” he pointed out.

  She splayed both hands affectionately against his chest. “Nothing wrong with that.”