But it did.
The conscious part of himself was able to stop it. He regained control of his mindless emotion and forced himself to let go of her neck. Oh, that beautiful, delicate neck…and what had he done? She looked hurt and afraid. He wanted to pull her into an embrace, assure her he loved her and tell her this would never happen again.
Instead, as soon as he took his hand off her, she got out of his reach.
As much as it hurt, he let her.
He heard her go into Chris’s room, but he had to get away. He slipped on the pair of dirty jeans on the floor next to the bed and stumbled out of the room. First, he stopped by the fridge and grabbed a beer, and then he made his way to a chair in the living room. He heard Val rummaging around the house, but he just sat there until she walked past him toward the front door. Then he made his way to the garage. They didn’t park their cars in there. Instead, it was where they kept the Christmas tree and all of Ethan’s guitars, amps, and other equipment. He’d had heating and cooling installed in that space the year before and, up until six months ago, had spent lots of free time in there. He sat on a stool and just stared at his black beauty, one of his first guitars, one that had seen him through good and bad, pretty and ugly. That baby had known him before he’d even met Val, and even it couldn’t comfort him now.
He knew she was leaving.
He knew what he’d done—whether he’d felt like it was out of his control or not—had been the catalyst, and that was it.
He couldn’t even cry, but part of him wanted to.
As he heard her start the car just outside, he stood up and walked over to a shelf where he had pedals and other gadgets stored and picked up the small box tucked in the corner. He lifted the lid, and there she was…his only savior, the only lover who’d ever understood him.
He stared at her for a few minutes, wrapped in her little plastic bag. And then he sighed. He opened the drawer on the table just under the shelf to pull out the blackened spoon. Maybe, maybe just one more time, she could dull the edges, because he really couldn’t take this shit anymore.
Chapter Twenty-two
JENNA FELT A knot in the center of her stomach. Against her better judgment, she’d decided to just embrace her feelings for Ethan, and now it appeared that she’d been a stupid idiot. He’d called her earlier that day on her cell and said, “I really need to talk to you. When can I come see you?”
Her heart seemed to stop beating, but she forced herself to say, “You can come over tonight. I should be home a little after five.”
Since then, she’d been a nervous wreck. She knew it. She just knew it. He’d managed to make it through her defenses, and now he was going to rip out her heart. She tried to be rational, knowing that he wasn’t necessarily going to do anything of the sort, but she had no idea what to expect.
Well, if he was going to hurt her and dump her, better now than a month from now. After talking with Sophie, Jenna had decided to just fully embrace her feelings for Ethan. What a dumb ass. She’d never learn.
So when he finally got to her apartment, she’d managed to cool herself somewhat. No sense acting like a smitten little girl if his feelings weren’t the same. She opened the door. “Hey, there.”
He didn’t look like he was ready to call the whole thing off. No. He didn’t seem closed off or distant. Instead, he said “Hey” back, and she closed the door behind him.
She had to know, though. She’d been tense all afternoon, worried about what Ethan had to say, and she couldn’t take it anymore. She could feel how tense her shoulder muscles had become, and she wondered how long it would take to let the anxiety go. She tried to sound as casual as possible when she said, “So what’s up? What was it you needed to tell me?”
“That can wait,” he said as he got close to her and took her face into his hands. His kiss took her breath away. She hadn’t expected that, not for a moment, but she wasn’t turning him away. Instead, her arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him close. His tongue was warm but insistent. It was a hell of a hello greeting.
When he ended the kiss, she had a hard time opening her eyes. Well, if nothing else, she was pretty sure he hadn’t come over to break up with her…or if he had, it was the weirdest break up she was ever going to go through. She smiled when she finally looked at him. He was a sight, a gorgeous rock god, and that he was here with her kind of floored her. “Seriously, Ethan, you had me all stressed out today, wondering and worrying about whatever it was you had to talk to me about.”
Imitating the tone of her voice, he said, “Seriously, Jenna, there is nothing to stress about. I’m just not ready to talk about it. I mean…you answered the door in this skimpy little tank top that’s clinging to your curves. Your twins are talking to me, begging for my attention. No way can I concentrate on something stupid right now.”
She didn’t laugh, though she was tempted to. It wasn’t funny and yet it was hilarious, that Ethan Richards, a guy who could probably have any woman he wanted, was distracted beyond belief by her breasts. She hadn’t thought twice about what she was wearing, aside from the fact that she’d been hot all day and wanted to wear something cool once she got home. But before she could even reply, his lips were on her neck, kissing her and licking the flesh, and Jenna was starting to think the season had nothing to do with her body temperature.
She would have thought it would take some time to switch gears, but it really didn’t. She was ready. She felt a sigh—almost a cry—escape her throat as she dug her fingers into Ethan’s back. His lips moved down her neck to her collarbone and then down to her cleavage, the part of her body he claimed had distracted him from all else. And that was it. She was wet and ready to beg him to take her in less than a minute.
He was moving fast this time, pushing up on the bottom of her tank top, down on his knees, licking her navel. What was his fascination with the belly ring? On occasion, she’d questioned the decision to be pierced there, especially the time it had gotten infected, but she couldn’t regret it anymore. He kissed a line back up as his hands pulled the top over her head. As she brought her hands back down, she wound them through his hair. His lips collided with hers once more and then he scooped her up, wrapping her legs around his torso like a surgical glove.
She could feel him, hard as granite underneath her, and if she’d thought she’d been wet before, she’d had no idea. She’d already forgotten the worry she’d felt all afternoon, because in just a few short moments, Ethan had taken her from anxious to desirous, and all she wanted now was to feel him inside her.
He walked into her room and lay her on her bed, looking down at her. His brows made him look mysterious this late afternoon, as though he really did have secrets he wanted to share with her. His eyes were smoky and heavy lidded, and the look on his face should have made her feel scared. He looked hungry, insatiable, and as he leaned over and kissed her again, she wondered if he would devour her.
The thought evaporated, though, as she felt his fingers on the button of her jean shorts. God, he wasn’t wasting any time. She wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled his lips down to hers again. He lapped at her like a man dying of thirst, like she was his last time to ever be with a woman, as though he’d never drink water again, and she was a well of the sweetest liquid ever tasted.
He tugged on her shorts and then her panties, and he moved his lips to her neck again. He sat up to pull her shorts and panties all the way off. She was wearing no shoes, red nail polish the only thing on her feet. He ran his hands up her inner thighs from just inside her knees, causing a shiver to speed through her body and vibrate through to her core. Her breathing quickened, and when he touched the inside of her thigh with his lips, she realized he was going to go down on her again.
This time, though, he wasn’t fucking around. He placed his hands on her uppermost thighs, where they attached to her entire underside, and used that position to force her legs farther apart. From there, he was able to pry her folds apart with his thumbs, and then
he brought his face down to her. She reached above her head to pull a pillow down underneath her head. Just as she’d slid it under, she felt his tongue flick her clit—just once. She sucked in a breath of air and looked at him, her fist still clenched on the pillow, the other moving to her breast. “You like that?” he asked.
She couldn’t help but smile. He was teasing her. But the smile faded. “Yeah.”
He smirked and then diverted his attention to her pussy. Unlike the last time, he wasn’t taking his time. His tongue was brushing beside her clit first—up and down, up and down, and he was moving fast…and then he homed in on her clit. She went from aroused to on fire and ready to explode in seconds. She felt a moan pour out of her mouth, and she squeezed on her breast, unable to handle the intensity. And then he stopped.
Her muscles were so tight, they felt like they might snap. She looked down at Ethan. He was smiling again, looking devious. “I don’t want this over too soon.”
Her breathing was ragged, as though she’d run miles already. She didn’t want to seem desperate, but she couldn’t take it. “Oh, God, Ethan.”
He was still smiling at her, but it grew wider. “There you go again. I need to make this a religious experience, do I?”
“I think you’re already close.”
“That’s what I want to hear. Let’s go, baby.” He stroked her with his tongue again, once, twice, three times, and she could tell she was just getting wetter. His hands were pushing hard against her legs, a sensation that just added to it. He sped his tongue up again, and her breathing nearly matched the intensity and speed.
She wriggled under his hands, feeling the need to tilt her pelvis, but she knew already he didn’t need her help. He had this. She held the hair on his head in her hand taut, needing release, but it felt so far away. Her other hand continued holding her breast, using it almost like an anchor, because she knew she’d need a place to land when she came down. And bam…there it was, so close, but it kept easing back, and she knew it was because of his hands pushing against her. It was almost painful, and it counterbalanced the pleasure that was teasing her away from the edge. She knew it was going to happen, but every time it started, it eased back.
She tried to relax, and she focused on her breathing and the intense crazy feelings below. She took another gulp of air and there…it almost was, backing off once more. She moaned in frustration, taking two more deep breaths of air and trying to relax, and that’s when it finally washed over her, heavy and hard and like a tidal wave. “Fuuuuuuck.” That wasn’t the only word out of her mouth, but it was the first in a stream of groans, cries, and impassioned cursing.
Her legs were quivering, and she was ready to beg for mercy, but Ethan held her legs down and kept it up. “Stop…stop.” He did but kissed the bend in her leg and kept kissing up her tummy. Her skin was sensitive and it felt ticklish, but it wasn’t as bad as the direct sensations he’d been hitting her with. She felt drained now but satisfied. He slid his hands underneath her, and she felt him unhooking her bra. Oh, no…she couldn’t handle him touching her there now, but he only took it off her. Funny, because she was now completely naked, and he was still wearing clothes from head to toe.
“How you doin’, baby?” He kissed her shoulder.
“I think I’m dead now. Is this what heaven looks like?” He started laughing and then lay next to her. She let out a long, slow breath. She did feel fucking incredible. “Take your shoes off.”
He chuckled. “Demanding, are we?”
“Just do it.” He sat up and started unlacing his boots. “As soon as I have my strength back, I’ll rip the rest of your clothes off, but I don’t want to deal with those laces.”
She looked at his back while he took his boots off. Ethan Richards really was a good-looking guy from head to toe. His back was half-covered in tattoos, his hair hanging past his neck. It wasn’t as long as a couple of other members of his band, but it was plenty long. And he was in decent shape, much better than she would have ordinarily expected from a recovering addict. More than that, though, was exactly what he’d said all along…underneath it all, they had something in common. They understood each other. And, in spite of what she could see could be unpleasant tendencies with this man, she knew he was good underneath it all.
He lay back down on the bed and rolled to face her, propping his head on his hand. “Seriously, how you doin’?”
She looked into his captivating green eyes and stroked his cheek. “Great.” She smiled and used her hand behind his neck to pull his lips down to hers again. He’d been hard not long ago, and she wondered how he was maintaining. She let her hand trail down the front of his t-shirt, down past his waistband, and she cupped him. Oh, yes, he was still hard. She loved feeling it. It was hard like that for her, and that was a turn on all by itself. He made a little noise in the back of his throat. She loved that.
She needed to repay him for the crazy rockin’ orgasm he’d just bestowed on her with his expert tongue. So she sat up and pulled his shirt up over his head. He helped take it off the rest of the way once it reached his wrists and then she pushed against him with her other hand, urging him to lie on his back.
She straddled him then, and she could feel his jeans absorbing all the residual wetness from her pussy. As she leaned over to kiss him, she scooted farther down so she could feel his hard on grinding into her. No, she wasn’t worried about herself this time; it was his turn, but she still loved how he felt against her.
He grabbed her breasts, exploring their curvature, and then teased the hardened tips with his thumbs. He wasn’t making this easy. She kissed him hard and then slid down further, kissing his chest, then moving to kiss one of his nipples. She swirled her tongue around it, then sucked on it, ending with a little nip. He moaned and she felt his fingers wind into her hair.
She moved down, kissing the trail of hair that led to underneath his jeans. She unfastened his belt first, and then she undid the button and unzipped him just as fast. Oh, God, he was so hard. She stroked him through his boxer briefs and then pulled them up and over his hard on. Then she grabbed the jeans and shorts together and pulled them down. The jeans were so snug, it wasn’t easy, but he bent his knees to help. The look on his face was classic. He was enjoying himself. She hoped to make it even better. She threw the clothes on the floor on the side next to Ethan and got back up on the bed. Then she put her fingers on his knees. She planned to tease him too, and so she made her index and middle fingers walk like legs up his thighs. His skin was smooth but hairy as her fingers made their journey upward.
Oh, fuck it. She couldn’t tease him. Halfway up his thighs, she leaned over and took his cock in her hand. She held it firmly, massaging the underside with her thumb in an up-and-down fashion. He let out a breath, and she knew she was on the right track.
She smiled, watching his eyes roll back in his head and she leaned over. She licked the head like she would an ice cream cone—a broad stroke. She could taste the saltiness of the pre-cum that must have mostly been absorbed by his underwear, and she licked again, this time swirling around the entire head. Then she took his head in her mouth and sucked lightly, inducing another moan. She continued to fondle him at the base while drawing him in and out of her mouth, moving slowly but rhythmically. She moved slowly at first, enjoying the feeling of his hands in her hair, the feel of the pressure of his fingers on her scalp, the slight tug on her hair, and she could tell he was enjoying it. So she sped up a little, hoping to get him closer. He groaned again and said, “Come here.”
She looked up and sucked on him one more time. But then she licked him as she removed his cock from her mouth and said, “What?”
“Come here. It feels too good, and I’m not ready to be done yet.”
Her hand was still wrapped around the base of his cock, and she raised her eyebrows. She started rubbing her thumb up and down again and grinned. “You sure?”
He smirked and sat up a little, moving his hands to under her arms, coaxing her up. “Ye
ah, I’m sure. I wanna be inside you, fill you up.” She crawled up to him and touched her nose to his. “You want to feel me inside you?”
Her heart started racing. Yeah, she could go again. “Hell, yeah.”
“Where’d you throw my pants?”
She giggled and tilted her head toward the side of the bed. He sat up the rest of the way, letting her go, and reached for his jeans. He pulled his wallet out of the back pocket, and Jenna knew he was fetching a condom. Part of her felt bad that he was foregoing his pleasure for her sake, but she knew he would enjoy it just the same. He tore the package and pulled the condom out, sliding it down his shaft, and Jenna leaned over to kiss his neck. She wound her fingers through his hair, and as soon as he had the condom on, she led his lips to hers, guiding him by his hair. She felt his hands on her back, hot and rough, feeling her skin from her ass to her shoulder blades. She adjusted herself on his lap, and slid him inside her. “Oh, God.” Yeah, he felt good, and she knew she was close again already.
She was at an angle to do a lot of the work herself, and it felt too good not to, so she pumped herself into him, and that’s when she felt his hands stop on her back, paused in the middle, palms flattened against her skin. She wanted to kiss him again, but she couldn’t focus past the pleasure down below. The condom took the edge off for him, though, she could tell, because he wasn’t as close as he’d been. He started kissing her neck, and she leaned back against his hands so he could kiss as far down as he wanted to. Her nipples felt like they were on fire, grinding into his chest, and he took one into his mouth, causing her to cry aloud.
No, no. She wasn’t going to let herself orgasm again before he would. She sat back up and kissed him, and then pushed him so he lay with his back flat on the bed. She continued to ride him, grind into him, but the angle made it less intense, and her orgasm eased back. She glided her hands down his torso, then leaned down to kiss him, but then she guided her lips down to his nipple on the right-hand side, a spot that seemed sensitive on him, and she licked around it. Yeah, she’d been right. She had paused in her pumping, wanting him to focus on her mouth. He was. His hands went back in her hair. She sucked on it and then nipped it, ready to sit back up, but he groaned then. He really liked it. “God, just bite me already, would ya?” He was practically begging her.
Rock Bottom (Bullet) Page 16