by Shan
"You're hurting me."
"Where you going?" Tamar griped and jerked my cell phone out of my hand. He looked down at the screen and then slid his finger across the bottom of it to gain entry inside of it.
"What's the passcode?"
"The same thing it's always been."
He entered Jr.'s birthday into the phone and walked over to the bed to sit down, pulling me along with him. I watched as he shamelessly went through my phone, something he hadn't done in a very long time. I thought we were way beyond that and had grown from doing petty shit like checking phones, but I guess not.
Obviously Tamar felt like I had been unfaithful to him which would explain why he was suddenly calling me a hoe. What I didn't know was where he was getting his so called information from. This
"Why your phone so damn empty? What you deleted everything?"
"No, I didn’t delete anything. I threw my phone the other day after we talked, so I had to get another one. But I don't talk to anyone but Brian and Starr and I talk to your mom every other day."
"Yea, so you say."
"Can you just say what the fuck is bothering you so we can clear that shit now?"
"Who the fuck you think you talking to?"
I rolled my eyes and tried to pull away from Tamar when he gripped me even tighter. He laid the cell phone down on the bed, released my arm, and raised my shirt up to expose my stomach.
He ran his tongue across my exposed skin causing a coating of goose bumps to cover me. I see he was on his bipolar shit today. I went to rub my hands on his head when he pushed my hands away. He continued to sex me with his tongue, and my pussy began to drip with wetness. I let out a soft moan when he suddenly stopped and looked up at me.
"When's the last time Rozalyn?" Tamar asked, and I noticed that same coldness in his eyes again.
"The last time for what?"
"Somebody's been inside of you. A place that was supposed to only be meant for me, especially after you took on my last name."
"I haven't had sex since we had sex the night you came home. Why do you think I'm cheating on you? Who've you been talking to?"
"What about before I came home? All that time I was in that hospital. What did you do to keep that pussy comforted while I was gone?"
"Nothing. I didn't do anything. I was fuckin' stressing, and dick was the last thing on my mind."
"So nobody had been inside you before I came home?"
"Yes, Tamar. No one."
Tamar nodded and then pulled at my boy shorts. He pulled them all the way down to my ankles and then pushed me forward where he dropped down to his knees. He spread my legs open and slid his tongue inside of me.
Tamar was playing with me. He was trying to fuck with my head, and I knew that I should stop him, but his touch just felt so damn good to me.
"Mmmgh!" I moaned. He riddled his tongue speedily over my clit before picking me up and lying back on the bed. He placed me on top of his face, and I rode his tongue hard until I came all over him.
My body jerked as the feeling of the orgasm took its course through me. I climbed off of him and let out a deep sigh. He climbed out of his boxers and forcefully pushed me onto my back, and then pinned my hands down on the bed.
"This what you wanted right? That's all you care about is dick, huh?"
"No, it's not all I care about. I care about you. I care about us being happy. I care—" I froze with my words when Tamar shoved his hard ass dick inside of me. I tried to reach out to place my hands on his chest to keep him from going so deep, but he had me locked in place. "Shit!"
"What you trying to run for? Take it!" Tamar groaned.
He stroked me harder and harder each time he went in and out of me. The shit was so damn painful and pleasurable at the same time. I wrapped my legs around his waist and immediately felt a warm gush of my juices squirt out of my pussy.
Finally Tamar let my arms go, and I knew it was only because it was getting as good to him as it was to me. I reached out, and he leaned forward allowing me to wrap my arms around him this time. Our bodies were now one. The room quickly heated causing sweat to pour from every angle of us.
I kissed on Tamar's chest and dug my fingernails into his back each time he hit that spot. He took one of my legs and tossed it over his shoulder and then dug his fingernails into my ass.
It wasn't all about the sex for me, but damn this shit felt so good. I wasn't ready to give up these moments between us and hoped that after tonight, Tamar had a change of heart. Our sex life was so fuckin' perfect. If only the rest of us could be as great.
"Yesss, baby! Mmggh, I love you so much, Tae!" I screamed out.
I could feel myself about to cum again. I dug deep into Tamar's back, shut my eyes tightly, and braced myself.
"Shit, you 'bout to cum huh?" Tamar asked. "Yea I feel that pussy clenching my dick. Come on, I'm a cum with you."
"Okay, baby. Yessss, I'm about to cum. Oh, my God, don't stop!"
Tamar pumped in and out of me three times more times before my mouth dropped open, and I came all over his dick. Shortly after, he collapsed on top of me and filled me up with his seeds. I took my hand and rubbed it across the sea like waves in his head when suddenly, he pulled his dick out of me and climbed out of bed.
"What's wrong?"
"I'll have the money deposited into your account in the morning and I'll be by to pick the kids up around nine to take them out before I head out of town."
"You're leaving?" I sat up in the bed and looked at him with confusion.
"Yea, I can't stay here. I knew me coming back here would be a problem. You supposed to be staying out my way like I fucking asked, but instead you walking around in that tight ass shirt and shorts."
"Wow, are you fucking serious? I'm not doing shit that I ain't never done before, but now all of a sudden it's a fucking problem. The fuck you acting like a lil' ass boy for? You wake up out that bitch ass coma and forget how to be a man?!"
WHAM!
Tamar backhanded me across my face and came over at me. I reached at my face and touched the spot where he'd hit me, feeling it swell by the second. I was in shock. It had been so long since Tamar has put his hands on me that I'd almost forgot that he used to once beat on me. He'd promised that I never had to worry about that ever again, and he'd kept that promise—until now. What the fuck is going on?
"Nah, I'm not acting like a lil' ass boy and I damn sure ain't forget how to be a man. I'm ashamed at the fact that I fucking married a gold-digging ass whore! Yea, Rico told me all about how you were trying to get him to take you to Jamaica. How you tried to fuck him for that little debt I owed to him."
"That's a damn lie! He tried to have sex with me, and I rejected him every time. You can look in my phone—" Fuck! I thought to myself remembering that any evidence that was in my old phone was long gone when I destroyed it.
This what it was though. I knew all of this, all of this tripping, and disrespect towards me couldn't have been because I fucked up on that dope. Rico had turned this shit on me all because I wouldn't give his ass any pussy.
"Yea, that's why you got rid of your old phone, huh?"
"Tamar, how stupid does that sound? If I wanted to get rid of anything all I had to do was delete it. Why would I go out and buy a new phone? That doesn't even make any sense."
"It's all good Rozalyn. That's what you do though. I took your ass out the hood, upgraded your life so that you never have to want for anything, and this is the thanks I get. Brandon, Marvin, J.B.—and now fucking Rico! Who's next? Huh?"
"I cheated on you with two men. I admit that, but don't act like you ain't never cheated on me. You keep a couple of bitches on the side! I'm not stupid."
"Every fuckin' nigga you been with man done brought some type of problems to my life. Every last one of them! Brandon kills my fuckin' best friend, behind your ass! Marvin takes Dmitri from me! That man was like a fuckin' father to me.
Now he gone cause of your ass sick ass boyfriend. Then this nig
ga J.B. come around claiming my muthafuckin' kids and when the shit don't go right for him, he damn near kills me. This shit here is fuckin' crazy."
"You saying that like the bitches in your life ain't never did shit to me. Don't forget Shalea had me raped and killed our first damn child. Oh and let's not forget the crazy bitch Kari that put me in a hospital bed for months with the possibility that I may never walk again. And that shit with J.B. you brought on yourself. Yes, I fucked him, but who told you to go after him and try to kill him!"
"Hell yea I'm a try to kill that nigga! That's supposed to be mine!" Tamar yelled pointing at me. "Hell yea I'm a kill behind what's mine! Fuck you thought? But truthfully Roz, all this—everything that has gone on should tell you one thing. Me and you gonna end up dead behind one another, and I love you too much for that to ever happen. That's why I'm walking away. I'm done. For real this time ma'."
"Tamar?" I questioned with pain dripping from my voice. "I promise you I ain't never touched Rico or ever tried to. All that other shit is in the past, and I'm sorry for it all. Please don't do this. Don't walk away like this."
"I came home because I wanted to see my kids, and I thought that maybe if I saw you, spent a little time around you then it would change the way I was feeling, but every time I look at you, I feel a whole lot of regret. I can't do this no more."
With that, Tamar put his clothes back on, and grabbed his car keys. I pounced out of bed and ran over to our bedroom door. I put my hands up to try and block him from leaving.
"Tamar, please. I'm so sorry for everything. I am so sorry," I cried.
"Watch out. You know I'm gonna always take care of you. Call me whenever you need anything, and you got it!"
"I want you. I need you! That's all I need. Tamar, why are you doing this? Tell me what to do, and I will fix it."
"It can't be fixed. This shit is like poison. You don’t see that?"
"No, I see that we are meant to be together otherwise God wouldn't have given us so many chances. You're my husband, and we belong together."
"I thought that you belonged to me. Remember that was what it was supposed to be in the beginning. I was the first remember. I told you never to give it up to anyone else, and this was why. Look at all the problems it's caused us."
"I've made mistakes. We both have, but I'm not that girl anymore. I promise you that's not me anymore. How many times do I have to tell you that's not me anymore Tae? It hasn't been for years," I said pleading with Tamar to believe me.
"It don't matter anymore. It's too late. Now move."
I shook my head and cried so fucking hard. Stepping out of the way, I allowed Tamar to pass me and watched his back as he left me. I leaned up against the door's frame and placed my hand over my chest.
I had never been so lost and confused in my entire life. For once when I had done everything right, when I had stood strong and been the woman I thought my husband wanted and needed, he leaves me. I haven't cheated or even planned to and still he leaves me.
The moment the door opened and closed, my phone chimed in the distance. I walked over to the bed and searched through the covers until I found it. It was a message from Tamar that I could only see the preview of. I unlocked my phone and went directly to the message.
Tamar: Hope you can forgive me for hitting you. I'm sorry. Have the kids ready.
I tossed the phone on the bed and crashed across it. It was over. It was truly over this time.
Chapter 15
Latoya
So Sick of Love
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
~Neyo~
"Where are you going?" I asked Taron as I watched him pack the little bit of things that he had at my house.
"I told you Tamar gave me the money to rent me a place. And he said that he would send the money today to pay you back for the lawyer. He's gonna get his lawyers back on my case," Taron said as he tossed a pair of shoes into his bag.
"I don't want the money back and what are you saying that the guy I hired isn't good enough?"
"No, I'm not saying that, but I know for a fact that Larry would be able to fight my case and win."
I shook my head not believing this shit. I had been working my ass off ever since Taron had gotten home and all he did was fuss and complain. I woke up at the crack of dawn cooking for this nigga, serving him breakfast in bed every day he's been home and then made sure he had a decent lunch and dinner shortly after.
I've been riding this nigga's dick like I was competing in the Kentucky Derby and giving his ass the meanest head known to man. Nothing was enough though. Every effort I made went unnoticed. Tamar comes around and does something I already did, but of course Taron praises him like he's king just as he always has.
"What's so wrong with you staying here? Why waste money on a place when you can just live here?" I questioned as he zipped the bag close.
"I don't wanna stay here. Damn, stop trying to force me to be with you. That shit is not what's up. If I wanted to be here and to be with you then you would know. I appreciate all you've done though, no doubt. That means everything to me whether you know it or not."
"Well if it means so much then why are you leaving, Taron? We have a child together and one on the way. Don't you wanna at least try and work on having a relationship with me for the sake of them?"
"No, I don’t," Taron sighed. He leaned over and picked his bag up from the floor and tossed it over his shoulder. His eyes gazed over the floor for a few moments before he finally brought his attention up at me. "We are good friends. The sex is good. I love the way you cook for me and cater to me, but I just don't have that romantic connection to you that you want me to have."
I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as he struggled with his thoughts. His caramel skin looked so gorgeous and fresh under my bedroom lights, and the extra time he'd done in prison did wonders to his physique. So fucking sexy to me, but yet so unavailable to me.
"Well I guess that's that. No need for me to continue trying to woo in a nigga that don't want me."
"You make it sound so bad though when it's not even like that. You a good girl, Toy. I just don't have that connection to you—you know the connection you need in order to make a relationship with someone. It's just not there, and it's nothing you did, but that's just what it is."
"Yea I'm good enough to sleep with and I'm good enough to wait on you hand and foot, but not good enough to be your girl. I don't understand it all, but it's cool, Taron. I won't worry about it or stress you over it. Just make sure you do what you gotta do for your children."
"Is that baby even mine?"
"The fuck? Are you fucking serious?" I questioned placing my hands on my hips. I cocked my head to the side and stared at this fool like he had lost his damn mind.
"We both know your history. Don't act like I ain't gotta reason to be suspicious. I had a fiancé and I fucked you from time to time, but I wasn't your man. I'm sure you had someone in here whenever I wasn't around."
"You sound fuckin' stupid right now! Yea I made a mistake and fucked around on Keylan back in the day. The worst mistake I ever made, but you are the only nigga I was sleeping with! I can't believe you sitting up here trying to deny our child."
"Your child. All I know is Keymani is mine, but we'll see about that one when it's born. I'm not falling for that."
I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest. Taron had me fucked up right about now. Now all of a sudden he didn't believe I was carrying his child. Nah, I wasn’t falling for that shit he was spitting.
He was only saying that mess because he needed something to justify why he didn't want to be a man and be here for his family the way he should be. I might wasn't so sure the last time around, but I damn sure wasn't stupid enough to make that same mistake twice.
"Get the fuck out Taron!"
"I'll call you about some type of visitation schedule on K
eymani, and when that baby come I'll gladly take a DNA test, but until then stop trying to hold that shit over my head."
I flipped Taron the middle finger and watched as he left out of my bedroom. I began to angrily pace back and forth across the space of my bedroom floor. This nigga had me all the way fucked up. How the hell was he going to deny a baby that he knew damn well he laid down and made with me? That was that bullshit. I had gone out of my way to make sure that if anything he was comfortable.
When his own flesh and blood turned his back on him, I stood in and picked up the fuckin' pieces. I took money out of my damn account and spent it on lawyer after lawyer. I didn't have to do any of that. I could've sent that nigga letters and paid him a visit every once in a while, but instead I chose to show him that he had a ride or die on his side. Now for him to come up in here and straight diss me because he had his little brother back on his side was fucked up.
I rubbed my stomach and walked over to the bed to try and calm myself down. I went to grab my cell phone when I spotted the mail that I placed on the nightstand earlier that afternoon. I was supposed to be giving Taron the envelope that had come from him, but had forgotten all about it when he came in and went straight to packing his things. I picked up the envelope up and opened it.
It was a letter from the federal court stating that Taron needs to show up in court next Monday at eight that morning. I noted that the only contact information that they had on him was my address, and my phone number. At the end of the letter I noticed that a copy had been sent to Levi & Portman, also with a disclaimer saying that if he didn't show up that his bond could be revoked and a warrant placed out for his arrest.
For a few moments, I stared at that disclaimer and juggled my thoughts around in my head. I knew it wasn't right for me to do this, but Taron's ass had been using me for so damn long. Back when Journey was alive he was using me to satisfy his sexual needs and this time around he used my ass for a get out of jail free card. Now that he no longer needed me, he wanted to act all funny and brand new. I had something for that ass though.