by Lara Lacombe
Mallory’s smile held more than a hint of cynicism. “What good would it do? I can’t change what happened by yelling. Believe me—I’ve tried it before. All I got for my troubles was a sore throat and angry neighbors.”
“You are such a strong woman,” he said. In truth, strong didn’t begin to describe her character, but it was the only word he could come up with on the spot.
Mallory scoffed. “Not really. I talk about the rape like it’s an event I’ve put behind me, but the truth is, I think about it all the time.”
“That’s only natural,” Everest said. “It’s the same for me and the explosion. Not a day goes by that I don’t remember the men I lost, or maybe even feel the phantom sensation of my missing leg.” He sat next to her on the bed. “We both suffered a trauma. You don’t just walk away unscathed from something like that.”
“You don’t understand,” she said. “I haven’t been with anyone since it happened. I don’t even know if I can handle that ever again.”
She sounded on the verge of tears, and Everest’s anger flared again. It was bad enough that Mallory had been raped in the first place. It sounded like the event had permanently affected her ability to form relationships, which made things even worse. She probably thought about the attack every time she interacted with a man, and he mentally replayed their first meeting in the ship’s gym, seeing her behavior in a new light. No wonder she hadn’t dated anyone in the years since her assault. It had to be exhausting, to live in such a state of constant fear.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” he started, but Mallory interrupted him.
“Don’t you get it?” Her voice held an edge now, a thread of anger that hadn’t been there before. “I like you, Everest. I think you’re a good man, and in another time and another place, we might have had a relationship.”
His heart tripped at her words, hope building in his chest even as she closed the door on any chance of them being together. “But not here and not now?”
She shook her head, her expression pure misery. “You don’t want to be with me.”
“I don’t?” This was news to him. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
Her head snapped up, confusion in her brown eyes. “Didn’t you hear what I just said? I haven’t had sex since I was raped. I don’t even know if I can. It’s not fair for me to ask you to deal with that.”
“If it’s all the same to you,” he said, trying to keep his exasperation in check, “I can decide these things for myself.”
“Everest—”
He held up his hand, cutting her off. “No. It’s my turn to talk now. I think you are an amazing person. In fact, you’re the first woman I’ve been interested in since I lost my leg. And while I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never thought about sleeping with you, I can say that is not my main motivation for getting close to you.”
“I don’t understand,” she said slowly.
“That’s because you think sex is the biggest part of a relationship,” he said.
“Isn’t it?” she challenged.
Everest shook his head. “No. It’s important, don’t get me wrong. But I’m more interested in building a foundation based on an emotional and intellectual connection. Being a true partner is what makes a relationship work.”
“Do you really mean that?” She sounded shy and a little hopeful, as if she almost couldn’t dare to believe him.
“Yes,” he said firmly. “I’m willing to bet you haven’t had sex since the attack because you haven’t felt safe with anyone. Am I right?”
She nodded. “That’s a big part of it.”
“So we’ll work on building trust between us first. The more we get to know each other, the more comfortable you’ll feel around me. And I think as our feelings deepen and grow, you’ll reach the point where you feel safe enough to try adding physical elements to our relationship.”
Mallory bit her lip. “I am attracted to you,” she said, sounding almost confessional. “And while I was initially a little scared of you, I’m not anymore. Kissing you is...really nice.” There was an element of surprise in her voice, as if she couldn’t quite believe her own reaction.
Warmth bloomed in his chest, and Everest smiled. “I’m glad to hear you enjoy it. I do, too.”
Mallory’s answering smile was a little shy. “When I’m with you, I want to get closer to you. I’m not thinking about Blake or the rape when you touch me. But I’m scared that if we try to be intimate, it’ll all come roaring back and I won’t be able to handle it.”
“Maybe it will,” Everest said honestly. “And maybe it won’t. The only way to find out is to try. And I’m not saying that because I’m trying to talk you into bed,” he added hastily. “I’m happy to let you set the pace when it comes to anything physical. But I don’t think you should let fear of the unknown stop you from going after something you want.”
Mallory snorted. “You sound like Avery and Olivia.”
“No wonder I like them,” he said, grinning. “But seriously, even if you and I don’t amount to anything, I hope you’ll find someone and take a chance on your happiness.”
“You make it sound so easy,” she said. “But what if I do try and I just can’t do it? Are you really going to stick around in that case?”
Everest considered her question for a moment, debating on how to answer. “I don’t know what the future holds,” he said finally. “But if you’re willing to work on this issue, I’m willing to be patient while we figure things out.”
Mallory looked down, twisting her hands in her lap. Everest hardly dared to breathe, hoping he hadn’t ruined things by speaking so bluntly. But it was important to tell the truth, especially now when they were on the verge of a decision that would drastically change both their lives.
His knees ached from kneeling on the thin carpet of her office. But he didn’t dare move. Mallory was lost in thought, and he wasn’t about to distract her.
After what seemed like a small eternity, she met his eyes. “Okay,” she said softly.
His heart skipped a beat, and he sucked in a breath. “Okay?” he repeated. “Could you elaborate a bit on what you mean by that?”
The corner of her mouth lifted, and a tendril of hair slipped free from her ponytail to follow the curve of her cheek. “Let’s give it a shot. I’m willing to try if you are.”
“I am.” A sense of relief filled him, along with a heady feeling of anticipation that made him a little light-headed.
She patted the mattress next to her, and Everest pushed himself off the floor and sat. Their arms brushed, and Mallory leaned against him until her head rested on his shoulder. Moving slowly, he curled his arm around her to anchor her into place. Her warm weight nestled against his side, and for the first time in a long time, Everest felt content.
They sat quietly for a few minutes, leaning on each other in companionable silence. Finally, Mallory let out a soft sigh. “We have to find the guy who drugged me,” she said. She sounded tired, as if the thought of mounting such a search exhausted her.
“We will.” Everest debated telling her his suspicions but decided against it. They both needed to rest, if only for a few hours.
“Just try to relax now,” he said, running his hand over her hair. “We’ll get him tomorrow.”
“You sound pretty sure of that,” she said.
“I am,” he said softly. “I will find him. Trust me.”
Mallory was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke again, there was a note of wonder in her voice that touched his heart.
“I do.”
* * *
He wasn’t sure how long they sat, leaning against each other in the stillness of the room. Everest would have been happy to stay like that indefinitely, but reality came creeping back into his thoughts.
Mall
ory hadn’t said anything yet, but he knew she probably wanted to see her friends. And he was certain Olivia and Avery would want to know that Mallory had emerged from her drugged state. Grant would likely want to examine her as well, to make sure she was well and truly fine.
“What are you thinking?” Her voice was soft, but it startled him all the same, and he jumped. She chuckled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s fine,” he said, wondering if the woman was a psychic. “I just realized we need to tell your friends you’re awake.”
“Oh, yes,” she said. A note of excitement entered her voice, and he smiled.
“I haven’t talked to them since...” She frowned, clearly trying to remember. “...two nights ago?”
“You haven’t seen them, but they stayed by your side for hours after I found you unconscious. Logan and Grant had to practically pry them off the chairs and force them to go rest, and they only agreed to leave because they knew I’d be here with you.”
“That sounds like them,” she said, a smile in her voice.
“They really love you,” he said, happy to know she had the two women in her life. Friendship was important, especially considering everything Mallory had been through.
“We look after each other,” she said simply. “That’s what friends do.”
Everest slid off the bed and reached for Mallory’s desk phone. “Want me to step outside so you can talk to them?”
She shook her head. “No. I have no secrets from you anymore.”
Her simple statement touched his heart and filled him with warmth. He sat next to her and ran his hand down her back as she dialed and talked to her friends.
Mallory hung up a few minutes later. “They’re coming to the clinic.” She sounded a little bemused. “I told them to stay in their rooms and rest, but they wouldn’t listen.”
“I’m not surprised,” he said. “You’d do the same if one of them were hurt or sick.”
“That’s true,” she said. She gave him a shy look from under her eyelids. “But I was kind of enjoying having you all to myself.”
Everest smiled and leaned in, wanting to kiss her. Just before his lips found hers, he stopped himself, remembering just in time.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.
“Don’t be,” Mallory replied. She leaned forward and reached for him, her intentions clear.
Everest let her guide her mouth to his, wanting her to claim ownership of the kiss.
She didn’t disappoint.
Her lips were soft and supple against his, her tongue warm as it stroked his mouth. He let her take control, happy to follow her lead as the world faded around them.
Everest had enjoyed their earlier kisses, but this one felt different somehow. Now that Mallory knew about his leg and his past with Leah, he felt freer than ever before. He hadn’t been conscious of holding part of himself back, but he realized now that he had been guarding his heart. He’d enjoyed the physical aspects of kissing Mallory, but this time he let himself get emotionally involved, as well.
Suddenly, she pulled away. Cool air hit his lips, and he froze, his breath catching in his throat. Was she having a flashback? Talking about her rape had probably stirred up all kinds of unpleasant memories—it was only natural she might feel overwhelmed at the idea of a physical connection right now.
“Did you hear that?” she said softly.
He tuned in to the ambient noise in the room and picked up on the sound of voices, growing steadily louder. He let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God.”
Mallory eyed him curiously. “You okay?”
He nodded. “I was worried you were having a flashback or something.”
She shook her head, a smile curving her lips. “No. I just don’t feel like kissing you in front of an audience.”
As if on cue, an insistent rapping started on the door. “Mallory?” That sounded like Olivia, her voice muffled through the wood. “Can we come in?”
Mallory levered herself off the bed, swaying a bit as she stood. Everest reached out to steady her, but she waved his hand away. “I’m good,” she said softly.
He stepped back, but kept a careful eye on her. Fortunately, she didn’t have to go far to reach the door.
As soon as she opened it, Olivia and Avery came tumbling into the room.
“Are you okay?”
“What are you doing out of bed?”
“How long have you been awake?”
The women talked over each other as they took up positions on each side of Mallory. They moved as one, half carrying Mallory back to the bed, urging her to sit and then to lie back on the gurney.
Mallory was good-natured about the attention, putting up no resistance as her friends fussed and fretted. She answered their rapid-fire questions as best as she was able, though they didn’t give her much of an opportunity to get a word in edgewise.
There wasn’t much room left in the office, so Everest slipped out the door to find Grant and Logan standing in the hall.
“Hey,” he said.
Logan gave him a friendly nod, and Grant craned his neck to see inside the room. “Hey. How long has she been awake?”
“Maybe half an hour?” Everest replied.
Grant nodded, as if he’d expected that answer. “Did she have a hard time waking up?”
“A little,” Everest said. He decided to keep the details to himself, out of respect for Mallory’s privacy. “She was confused at first, and it took a few minutes for her to understand where she was.”
“That’s to be expected,” Grant said. He glanced into the room, then back. “Think they’ll let me get close enough to examine her?” he asked wryly.
Logan clapped Grant on the shoulder. “I believe in you.”
“Good luck,” Everest added.
Grant squared his shoulders and took a deep breath, then stepped forward. The din of conversation didn’t alter when he stepped into the room, and Everest had to wonder if the women even noticed he was there.
Logan cleared his throat. “Any new developments?” he asked quietly.
Everest shook his head. He’d already shared his suspicions about Wesley when he’d arrived earlier in the evening to watch over Mallory. “No. But do me a favor?”
“Name it,” Logan said.
His instant acceptance reminded Everest of the men he’d served with, and their ready willingness to do whatever it took to help each other out. He’d already had a high opinion of Logan, but now it went up another notch.
“Make sure you guys get off the ship tomorrow in Philadelphia. I’ve got a friend coming on board to help us figure out some stuff, and I think it would be best if you guys weren’t around.”
Logan narrowed his eyes. “I take it this ‘stuff’ is dangerous?”
“It’s a distinct possibility,” Everest admitted.
“Do you need help? I could send the ladies with Grant and stay behind.”
Everest considered the offer for a moment. It would be nice to have an extra set of eyes around, but he didn’t feel comfortable asking Logan to put himself in danger. He’d served with Peter and knew how the man thought, how he moved and how he acted under pressure. And while he liked Logan and figured the DEA agent had a cool head and steady hand, there was no telling how he might react if it turned out there was radioactive material on board. The threat of radiation hit people in the gut, making them respond unpredictably. He and Peter had gone through a lot of training so that they could suppress the instinctive panic that struck when faced with a radioactive, chemical or biological threat. And as much as he liked Logan, he simply couldn’t take a chance that the other man would panic if the news wasn’t good. The last thing he needed was for the situation to get out of control.
“I appreciate it,” Everest said. “Bu
t I’ll feel better if you stay with the group. I think Peter and I can handle things on the ship.”
“What about Mallory?” Logan said. “Should she come with us, as well?”
Everest glanced at the open door. From this angle, he could see Mallory’s face in profile as she talked with her friends. As if she sensed his gaze, she tilted her head to the side and gave him a small smile before turning back to the group.
His personal preference was to get her as far away from the ship as possible. If Wesley really was the one behind the attacks on Mallory, he didn’t want her anywhere near the man. But he knew she was too stubborn to leave. She’d been the one to first see the dangerous possibility of the mysterious putty, and he knew there was no way to convince her to walk away just as they were about to learn if her suspicions had merit.
“I’ll keep her with me,” he said. “Besides, short of carrying her off the ship, I doubt you’d be able to talk her into going with you guys.”
“Fair enough,” Logan said, a knowing grin playing at the corners of his mouth. “I figured as much, seeing as how I recognize the look of a stubborn woman. Just thought I’d offer, in case you could convince her to take a little time off.”
Everest lifted one eyebrow, and Logan laughed. “You never know,” he said. “Maybe she’d listen to Avery or Olivia.”
“Anything is possible,” Everest murmured. But as Mallory turned to glance at him again, he knew she wasn’t going anywhere.
And deep down inside, he didn’t want her to.
* * *
A drop of sweat trickled down the valley of Mallory’s spine as she and Everest made their way down the gangplank. It was still morning, but the sun was already bright in the sky, promising a scorcher of a day.
“Do you really think he’s here already?” she asked, glancing around at the throng of people busily going about their work. Docking a cruise ship and helping passengers disembark was a highly coordinated process that required a lot of moving parts. It would be difficult to find just one person in the crowd, but Everest seemed confident his friend would be there to meet them as soon as the stepped off the ship.