“The baby’s coming,” she cried.
I hung up and raced back to the delivery room.
As I entered, I saw Marcy’s legs spread wide. She was holding her breath.
Connie held onto her hand.
“That’s it, Marcy, keep pushing,” the doctor said.
“Ash, come here.” Connie ushered me over to her.
I didn’t know where to look. I didn’t want to stare at Marcy’s vagina, but it was hard to miss. Especially when the doctor said, “I can see the top of the head.”
I peered down, and sure enough, the baby’s head was visible. In that moment, the world slowed down. Everything became frozen, except Marcy as she continued to push.
“Okay, Marcy,” the doctor said. “I want you to pant.”
Marcy did as she was told and panted as the baby’s head pushed through the opening.
Connie squeezed her hand and watched in amazement.
“Okay, with your next contraction, I want you to push really hard,” the doctor insisted, and stared at Marcy.
Marcy nodded and closed her eyes. She let out a roar, and at 1:58 a.m., the baby shot out.
To my immense relief, the baby started to cry immediately.
Connie sobbed uncontrollably, her hands trembling when she saw the tiny bundle on the bed between Marcy’s legs.
“Oh, my God,” Connie mumbled. “Is it a boy or girl?”
The doctor inspected the baby and smiled. “You have a little boy,” she announced, and held the baby up for us to see.
No amount of words could ever express how I felt in that moment. My little boy had made it into the world with a powerful set of lungs. I was rendered speechless.
Connie and I hugged tight.
I kissed her soft lips. Neither of us could contain our emotions.
“Who’s doing the honours?” the doctor asked, and clamped the cord.
“I want you to cut the cord,” Connie said, and smiled.
My hands shook as I cut the cord. It was a fantastic, frightening, and exhilarating experience. One I’d never forget. The 12th of March, 2012 would always stay with me as long as I lived.
The baby was swaddled in towels and handed straight to Connie.
Marcy looked on, smiling the entire time.
Connie lovingly cradled him in her arms and sat down on the chair. She stared at him for the longest time, tears rolling down her cheeks. My beautiful, sweet Connie finally had her little boy, and my heart never felt more complete.
I turned my attention to Marcy and took her hand in mine. “Thank you,” I whispered, and kissed her forehead.
That night, my family was whole. My wife and I sat staring at our son, both of us falling head over heels in love with him.
“Jake,” Connie muttered. “We’ll call him Jake.”
I rubbed the tears from my eyes and set the frame back on the table. Not once would I have ever thought Marcy capable of being a twisted fucker. She’d destroyed all the respect I had for her. Now I was ready for her to leave Jake and me alone for good. I was done with her demands, her games, and her obsession.
The doorbell chimed. I took a deep breath and composed myself before opening it.
Felipe, Andrés’ second-in-command, stood before me.
“How did you find my address?” I asked.
“Nice to see you, too, Ash,” he remarked, and pushed his way in.
I shut the door and cracked my knuckles. “So, what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Andrés just wanted to make sure you weren’t getting cold feet,” he said, and walked toward my living room, looking at photographs on the wall. “And that the wheels of motion have been set in place in regards to a certain affiliate of yours.”
“And that required a house call?”
Felipe turned and stared at me. The five point crown dominated the right side of his neck. He was about the same height as me, but bigger. His presence unnerved me.
“You know how these things work, Ashley.” He sneered as he said my name. “We need to make sure your balls are intact. Understand me?”
“I know what is expected of me,” I snapped. “I’ve never gone back on my word before, and I’m not going to start now.”
“Then, we’re good, compadre.” He nodded and walked back toward the door. He stopped by a picture frame and smiled. “Good-looking kid you got.”
“He got his mama’s good looks,” I replied.
Felipe burst into laughter and replied, “I can see that. Take it easy, Ash. Make sure you touch base once you complete the transaction.”
No sooner had he said the words, he left the apartment.
The anxiety curled in my stomach. Reality sobered me up enough to know that I couldn’t back out now. A line had been crossed, and there was no way out.
I was torn between the love of my child and the need to rid my life of its curse. Sleep evaded me to the point I was fast becoming a shadow of my former self, dogged with guilt for something I had yet to do.
My mother sipped at her tea.
“Mom, can I ask you to do something for me?” My voice cracked.
She touched her brow and let out a sigh as though she were expecting bad news. “Yes.”
“I need you and Dad to have Jake for me this weekend.” I kept my eyes locked on hers.
“Oh.” Relief washed over her face, and she relaxed. “Why? Is it that girl?”
“Yes,” I lied.
I hated myself for putting her in this position, but there was no way I could do what was planned and come home to my kid. I needed to cleanse myself of my sin before putting on my daddy cap.
“She’s seems like a lovely girl. Is it serious?”
I shook my head. “No, Mom, it’s not serious, but I like her.”
My mother smiled and rested her warm hand on mine, her eyes sparkling as though Christmas had arrived early.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I said, feeling my cheeks burn. “She’s leaving soon.”
“Oh, that’s a shame,” she replied.
“But until she leaves, I’d like to spend some time with her.”
“Then, it’s sorted. Jake is staying with us, and you can come get him when you are good and ready,” she said. “Remember, happiness comes in many forms, honey. If it’s short-lived, enjoy it while you can. You deserve that smile on your face.”
My mother had this knack for making my day, and as much as her words meant the world to me, I felt like a complete asshole, hiding my true intentions from her. She would be destroyed if she ever found out about me getting involved with Andrés. This was one secret I’d be taking to the grave with me.
“I’ll drop him off early Friday evening,” I said, and turned my attention to the chaos in the hall.
Jake and his fire engine were on duty, and by the sounds of things, it was getting serious.
My mother chuckled. “He sure has an imagination.”
“Yes, but he’s not so great at cleaning up after himself.”
I got up from the table and walked to the hall. Sure enough, Jake had thrown his many toys around the hall. Utter carnage lay scattered beneath my feet from the Lego.
“What’s all this?” I asked, stepping through the carnage.
“There’s been an explosion, and everyone is dead,” he announced.
“Hey, come on, you know I don’t mind these games, but this mess needs cleaning up,” I said sternly.
Jake folded his arms across his chest, breathing heavily as he huffed. His cheeks flushed.
“I don’t want to.”
“Jake, look at me,” I said, and knelt down in front of him. “There’s a lot of things I don’t want to have to do, but sometimes, you don’t have a choice. You made this mess, and it’s your responsibility to clean it up.” Oh, the irony.
I looked back and saw my mother standing behind me.
She raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “Jake, is this behaviour re
ally necessary?”
He looked at her and didn’t reply.
“Jake, Grandma is talking to you.” I stood and stared at my mother. “Please tell me this is a phase.”
She smiled. “I’m afraid this is a sign of things to come.”
I sighed. “Jake, if you start, I will help, okay?”
“I was just playing a game.”
“I know, buddy, but there’s playing nicely and making a huge mess that you don’t want to clean up.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” he muttered, his eyes focused on me.
“Hey, it’s all good. I’ll help. Then, we’ll head out for a walk, yeah?”
He nodded and smiled.
My mother cleared her throat. “And that is why you are such a wonderful father.”
“Huh?” I sounded rather dumb.
“You’re a good daddy, Ash. Never forget that. And now, I must be off. I’ll see you both on Friday.” My mother walked to the front door, glanced at Jake and I, and gave us that beautiful, loving smile of hers. “I love you both.”
“We love you, too,” Jake shouted, throwing some Lego’s back into the box.
I pointed at him, and my mother nodded. It was a thing we did.
After my mother left, Jake and I managed to get all his toys back into his room.
“Can we go to the zoo?” he asked as I wiped his face clean.
The zoo was the last place on earth I wanted to visit.
“It’s kinda late,” I replied.
“Please, Daddy. I promise to be good.”
Why did he have to pull this on me? He didn’t understand the complexities. There was no way that I could explain things in a kid-friendly manner. I hated letting him down. He loved the zoo, and in most cases, so did I.
“Jake, it’s after two. It will be really busy.” I tried to change his mind.
“But Daddy!” he whined.
Every part of me wanted to say no to him, but when it came to Jake, I couldn’t. So I swallowed my pride and nodded.
“Okay, just for a little while.”
Jake held onto my hand, and like he promised, he was on his best behaviour. We made a quick pit stop at the kiosk.
A new girl was on duty.
We walked through and saw Andy, who was more than happy to see Jake.
“Well, isn’t this a surprise?” he remarked, high fiving Jake.
“It’s been insane at work,” I replied.
“So I hear.”
“What does that mean?”
He shook his head and raised his hands. “Nothing, man. I’ve just heard a few stories. Nothing serious.”
“What kind of stories?”
I tightened my grip on Jake’s hand, becoming very territorial.
“Listen, it’s not my place to be getting involved in whatever has gone down between you and Marcy, but she’s been talking,” Andy whispered. “And it’s not been pretty.”
“Daddy,” Jake interrupted. “Can we go see Daisy now?”
“In a minute, buddy. Daddy’s just talking.” I raised an eyebrow.
Jake was growing impatient. He tugged at my hand, and jumped up and down.
“Ash, I think I’ve said enough.” Andy stepped back, his face turning white.
My stomach spun, and my hands grew clammy. I wanted to know exactly what Marcy had been saying, but the timing with Andy was all wrong.
“I’ve got to get back to work,” he said, and turned his back on me.
“Can we go see Daisy now?” Jake asked in a whiny tone.
“Yes, we’ll go see Daisy now.”
We strolled off in the direction of the rhinoceroses.
I had an inkling Marcy would pay us a visit. I pulled the door, holding it open for Jake.
He zoomed inside, eager to see Daisy and Shane.
I chuckled and watched my kid lovingly hug Shane’s leg.
“Well, hello to you, too, kiddo,” Shane said.
“Hey, man,” I said, and he shook my hand.
“I thought for a moment that you’d forgotten about us.” He winked.
I laughed and shook my head. “Some things can never be forgotten.”
“Is Daisy being good?” Jake asked.
Shane rested his hand on the barrier and nodded. “She sure has. I bet she will be even better when she sees you.”
“Really?” Jake squealed.
“Yup, you know that big old woman has a soft spot for her favorite guy.” Shane grinned and whistled over to a lanky boy. “Hey, Tom, come over here. We have the next best thing to royalty here.”
Tom set his shovel down and came over to us. He smiled at Shane before holding his hand out for me to shake.
“I’m Tom. Shane here is training me.”
“Nice to meet you, Tom. I’m Ash,” I replied, and gave a firm handshake.
“Ash’s late wife, Connie, was one of the bigwigs who saved Daisy from captivity and brought her here.” Shane beamed.
“Wow, I’m sorry about your wife.” Tom looked at me before staring at his feet.
“It’s okay.” I tried to smile.
“And Jake, here,” Shane said, and tapped Jake on the head, “is our guest of honor. Why not take him in to see Daisy? I’m sure she’d love some attention.”
“Sure,” Tom replied, and took Jake’s hand.
I waited until Jake was clear of hearing anything. “So what lies has that bitch been spewing?”
Shane cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. He was awkward and stared at me in silence before uttering another word.
“There’s been talk.”
“What kind of talk?”
He stepped in close. “Apparently, you’re not coping very well with the little guy.”
I wasn’t surprised in the least. “And I assume this talk has come from a credible source?”
“Listen, Ash, we have both known her for a longtime. She has friends in high places. If she wants to rock the boat, she will carry on regardless of what any of us think or say.”
My mouth went dry. “And do you believe her?”
“Of course, I don’t, but I do know that she has a way of persuading people.” He sighed. “I think you need to get some distance between you and her. This isn’t what Connie would have wanted. She’d be turning in her grave over this.”
He made a valued point. Connie would never rest in peace as long as Marcy and I were at each other’s throats. I couldn’t and wouldn’t allow Marcy to become some kind of distorted version of my dead wife. I didn’t want it, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to give her any more fuel to add to the fire.
Shane had been a good friend to Connie. He had proven his loyalty to her on more than one occasion, and I trusted him.
“After everything I’ve been through, I’ve never once allowed the pain and grief to overshadow my parenting and love for Jake. I don’t think for a second that I am a perfect father. I am far from it, but as far as falling apart goes, that’s not my style.” I sucked in a deep breath. “And for what it’s worth, I know you’ve got my back, man.”
“Hey, as far as you and Jake go, you’re family. I don’t need to question your abilities for a second.”
“Thanks, Shane.” I was genuinely grateful, but had to ask, “So, is she about?”
Shane glanced behind him, and then back up at the far end of the enclosure. “She’s been in and out today.”
“What’s the chance someone has told her?”
He chuckled. “This place is like the schoolyard. Everyone knows everyone’s business. Don’t expect to get out of here without her noticing.”
“I think it’s time Jake and I make a quick exit,” I muttered, and walked over to where Jake stood. “Hey, I think the two of us should go and get something nice and cool to drink.”
Jake giggled. “Daddy, Daisy is going to have a baby. Isn’t that so awesome?”
I twisted my head to the side and raised an eyebr
ow at Shane.
He nodded. “Yup, she’s in the family way.”
“That is pretty cool,” I replied. “Come on, Jake. Let’s move on.”
“But can’t we stay?” he asked.
“We’ve seen the exhibit a hundred times already.” I didn’t want a tantrum from him.
“But Daddy,” he complained.
“How about we go see the reptiles, yeah?”
His eyes lit up. “Yes!”
He ran toward me, took my hand, and tugged my arm.
“And that’s my cue,” I said, and shook Shane’s hand.
“Laters, man,” he replied, and went back to work.
I lifted Jake into my arms and walked out of the exhibit. The sun was like a fiery ball in the sky. It was hot as hell, but nothing compared to the devilish glare of the woman before me.
“I see you’ve come to your senses,” Marcy remarked, staring angrily at me.
“You know Jake loves the zoo, so that’s a no brainer.” I frowned.
“Hey, Jake.” Marcy’s eyes swung in his direction.
Jake hid his face in the crook of my neck. He clung to me tightly.
“See? He doesn’t like you. Can’t you get that through your thick skull?”
Her face twisted into an ugly mess as she clenched her jaw. Her eyes glazed over, and her nostrils flared.
I hit a nerve and it didn’t happen a moment too soon.
“You know what, Ash? Don’t get too comfortable.” She pushed past me and went into the exhibit.
Jake relaxed in my arms and looked at the door. “I don’t like her, Daddy,” he muttered.
“That makes two of us, kiddo.”
The words echoed in my head, “The cancer’s back.” It repeated until I sat up in the bed, drenched in sweat. Breathing heavy, I wiped a hand over my face and brushed the tears away.
It was still dark outside. I let out a strained sigh and looked at the clock. It was only two a.m.
“Fuck!” I whispered, and lay back down.
I stared at the ceiling for the longest time. The sound of my heartbeat, slow and rhythmic, reminded me of the day my world stood still.
“I’m sorry, Connie,” the doctor said, his face ashen. “But it has spread to your bowel, liver, and lungs. At this stage, there is a small chance of a long-term cure.”
Ash Page 20