by Nako
“No, everything okay? I was calling to check on you because I haven’t heard from you all day and you didn’t respond to my picture this morning.”
He coughed loudly before telling her, “My bad boo, I got it. You look good, how is your first day?” he slowed down and asked her that first.
“Good, really productive.”
She wondered if he even opened the picture message.
Carmen looked cute as a button today although she had no employees, or no meetings lined up as of right now.
Technically no one would see her, but she didn’t care. She’d been told by several business owners and millionaire executives, “Stay ready so you never had to get ready”. Carmen didn’t know who she might run into, while entering and leaving her office.
“I’m proud of you.”
She knew he was.
“Thanks baby, what’s up with you?”
He told whomever he was around to give him a second.
“…. It’s my shorty,” he explained before walking off.
Carmen scrolled the options on UberEATS while he settled down so he could chat with her for a second.
“Hello?”
“I’m here.”
Nehemiah took a deep breath.
“Shit, I’m tired,” he sounded like it too.
“Will you be home for dinner?” she wanted to know because it would determine if she would order a big lunch or something light. Carmen tried to cook every day for her man.
“I don’t know…you may not be either,” he let her know.
“Why is that?” she didn’t have any plans after work other than unpacking their things.
“Babe, I really need you here with me…you the only person I trust other than Juice and P.”
His voice was hushed.
“What you mean?” she had her own thing going on.
“You know the game. It’s too much happening around me at once. I need you. You’re my third eye,” he explained to his baby.
Carmen’s sense of discernment was just as strong as his.
“I need you to tell me what you’re asking me to do, verbatim,” she begged him.
Basically, he needed to spit it out.
She had a long day and didn’t have the energy to read his mind.
“Come on the road with me. Be my everything, baby. My assistant, stylist, all that shit.”
Neezy knew he was asking a lot of her, but he couldn’t help it. He’d prayed and meditated about this for quite some time.
It was only right.
“Bae…” she was speechless and not in a good way.
“We don’t leave for another two months so think about it,” he told her.
Carmen didn’t have to make a concrete decision today.
She looked around the condo that she’d turned into an office.
“What about my business?”
Did he consider that?
Carmen did a lot to get The Showroom up and running, again. She couldn’t just push it to the wayside so easily. She also felt like she was too old to be putting her dreams on pause to go on tour with a rapper. The story sounded so twenty-ish. Carmen was damn near forty. She had a lot to think about.
He had a plan for them, all he needed her to do was trust him. Neezy contemplated every factor on both sides before hitting her up.
“We can run it online….and I got another idea too, but I’ll tell you later. I gotta get back to work. Love you,” he said before ending the call abruptly.
She mumbled, “Wow.”
Deciding to deal with his request once her day winded down. She was in the middle of ordering her something to eat when a message from her son popped up at the top of the screen.
“Ma, I got a game tonight. You gon’ be there?”
Without much hesitation, she texted him, “Yes, baby of course.”
She sent one of those GIF things that he’d taught her to do of Steph Curry dunking.
He hit her back with a few crying emoji’s.
Carmen knew he probably thought she was lame and corny, but she didn’t care.
After ordering lunch, she plopped down in her office chair and got back to work.
For some reason, out of all the days on the calendar today was ASK CARMEN the stupidest shit in the world day.
Everybody and they momma had a request and by four o’clock p.m. she had a major attitude and needed a glass of wine before she headed to Kniko’s school house. It must’ve been luck while scrolling social media that her best friend popped up.
Nia posted a bottle of wine with the caption, “long day,” on her Instagram story and Carmen couldn’t agree with her more.
She instantly called her and asked her whereabouts.
Nia shared her location with her and said, “Pull in the back,” kindly.
She wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with the paps spotting them.
Carmen got there in record time.
Nia was at the bar with a pair of Chanel sunnies on her face.
“Wow, you real ducked off today,” she teased as she took the barstool two chairs down from her.
“Sis, I’m tired,” her voice indicated the truth.
“What happened?” Carmen got right back up and came closer.
She removed the shades from Nia’s face, wanting to see her eyes so they could connect.
She rubbed her shoulder and comforted her with encouraging words, “You know that God is going to handle whatever it may be,” she reminded her.
Nia took a deep breath, “I know, I know.”
She was drained, empty, beat and emotionally unavailable today.
“I’m one person, it’s like nobody gets that,” she complained.
Carmen understood her completely.
“I feel you Chile,” she expressed her sentiments.
Nia dabbed at her eyes.
She wasn’t crying about this shit but still…she was vanquished.
“One day…the one day that I took for myself the damn world came crumbling down. Some days I wonder why am I still working as hard as I am,” she admitted.
“Retire!”
Carmen never understood what the struggle was in doing so.
Nia could easily step down from her empire and live happily ever after.
“And do what?” she questioned.
Her busy life is what kept her going.
“Nothing!”
Carmen believed that at this point, Nia should choose a peace of mind over gaining more success and recognition.
“Why did you say you agree with me?” she changed the subject.
Carmen knew she was digressing, but she let it go because she needed some advice.
She filled her in on Neezy’s request from earlier. Once she finished she asked her, “What do I do?”
Nia gulped down the last of her wine and told the bartender, “Another please.”
She looked at her friend, “Are you really listening to me?” she wanted to be sure before she started back talking.
“Uh, yeah.” She wouldn’t have asked if she wasn’t going to tune in.
“Choose what makes you happy. Whether that’s money or your man. It’s easy to have both but make sure you put one in front of the other,” she dropped free game on her.
“That’s the thing…”
Carmen was wealthy. Three times over. She had it all.
“I don’t want to feel like I gave up on my dreams for him…like I’m chasing him or something, I don’t know.” She was thinking aloud.
“Who caresss?” Nia’s words slurred.
Yeah, she’s tipsy.
“Don’t nobody know how he make you feel. Mother fuckers need to mind they own business. If you happy, you happy!” she spoke from her own personal experiences.
The bartender replaced her empty glass of gin with another.
“You know how many people told me I should’ve left Eastland?”
Nia didn’t wait on Carmen to answer her question.
“Girl, the w
hole wide world.”
She stayed with her nigga though.
“Not only is East my husband and the father to my two children, but he’s my very….”
She felt herself getting emotional.
“My best friend. My partner. My ride or die. I know without a doubt he would gladly risk his life to save mine. You know how it feels to be with a nigga that don’t have to think twice about you?”
Nia patted her chest, “Nobody comes in front of me. It’s nothing anyone can tell him about me because my heart lives inside of his.”
Carmen soaked it all up.
“And baby, you don’t find a love like that every day. I hold onto mine.”
She wiped her tearful eyes.
Whew, she loved her husband. They’d been through some shit together.
“It’s nothing that can stop me from running to him time after time. You got the money, run The Showroom on your own schedule. Do pop-up shops in the cities that he’s in.”
“Get to brainstorming,” Nia clapped her hands.
Carmen had a lot to consider.
Nia literally saw the wheels turning in her head, “If he makes you happy girl, everything else can be figured out along the way,” that was the last thing she had to say about Carmen’s “dilemma”
Hours later, she sat at her son’s game with her mind elsewhere. The basketball game was a blur but hey, at least she was there.
When she saw everyone hop up and cheer, she did the same.
Porter slid beside her on the bleacher and she was shocked like hell to see him.
“What are you doing here?” she sounded, surprised.
He told her, “Neezy mentioned nephew had a game tonight.”
P innocently kissed her cheek and side-hugged her.
Carmen’s eyes got big.
“You okay?”
She nodded her head, “Yeah…yeah, met Nia for drinks before I came here,” she coughed.
“Y’all stay turnt. I’ma tell Apostle,” he teased which made her laugh.
He’d thrown some shade the other night during a bible study session that Mahogany hosted.
Apostle said something about them drinking more and more ever since he told them in the bottle that the disciples drank wine and was merry.
“Nah, for real. I done slowed down,” she tried to convince Porter.
He nudged her arm, playfully.
“Yeah, I bet.”
Kniko’s team scored again.
“He seems pretty good, Casey would’ve loved this,” he noted.
Carmen nodded her head, “Certainly.”
They fixated their eyes back on the game and the silence was comfortable. No one never knew her somewhat slight obsession to Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome and clever Porter Bavay.
She used to fantasize about him like crazy.
But…he never looked at her in that way.
Carmen knew she wasn’t ugly. She used to closely compare herself to every woman he brought around the family.
And then…when he married Kim, she was devastated and damn near depressed.
He always looked over her.
Over the years, she accepted it for what it was.
Not meant to be.
Carmen never asked him why not her…until today.
And even when the question lazily fell from her lips, she was taken back. Surprised by her boldness today.
He glanced at her and shook his head, “Carm, you sure you didn’t have much to drink?”
Porter was good at downplaying any and everything.
He also didn’t think the conversation was appropriate.
He looked at her like a sister, nothing more.
He was a happily married man and she was with Neezy, his artist.
“It’s just a question…I’ve always wanted to know.”
He sighed as he looked over his shoulder to reassure himself that no one seemed interested in their conversation.
“I didn’t want to cross the line after Casey asked me not to, so I didn’t.”
Her eyes blinked rapidly, and she snaked her head back.
“Wait...what? Huh?”
Her brother did what!
“When was this?” she had to know.
“Long time ago, long, long, long time ago. I think he caught me coming from the basement one night. I don’t know but he checked it then and there. I told him it would never happen again…”
She filled in the blanks. Remembering the timeline.
“That’s when you started curving me…wow. Wow,” she said in disbelief.
Carmen stood and prepared herself to storm off, but he grabbed her arm and forced her to sit back down.
“Why does it matter anyway? You got married, had a kid. I was with Kim...” he reminded her.
“Porter, I loved you!” she snapped.
He didn’t agree.
“You were young and sprung off dick.”
“Wowzers.”
Yeah, she was pissed off.
“I’m not the one for you, certainly not now and not then either.”
Carmen had to check Mr. Porter Bavay.
“First of all, I don’t want your ass. I love you like a brother…after you basically gave me no choice but to treat you like family.”
“And I’m in love with my man.”
Carmen didn’t have to compare the two because it was no comparison. Neezy fulfilled and satisfied her. She was on cloud nine with her boo.
There was no need for him to start feeling himself or making things awkward.
“Why you ask me that shit then?”
She honestly didn’t know, and she shrugged her shoulders, “Tripping.”
The conversation was stupid.
Kniko scored.
They both cheered and clapped.
“We’re good how we are. Everything happens for a reason, Carm.”
He believed that wholeheartedly and she did too.
“Yeah, you right. And again, I don’t want you.”
She was dead serious too.
He wasn’t even her type no more.
He laughed, “Good.
Porter appreciated their friendship and wanted it to stay that way.
The game ended and P told Carmen, “I’ma go speak to nephew then head out. You sure we straight?”
She nodded her head, “Positive. Thanks for coming.”
Kniko had plans for after the game so he not only told P goodnight but his momma as well.
“Dang, I thought we were going to get some pizza or something.”
He told her with a smile, “We won. I’ma go kick it.”
She wanted to have a conversation with his grandparents who she wondered were getting too old to keep up with him.
Kniko kind of did his own thing and she felt like he was too young to do so.
“Okay, baby. Be safe. Let me know when you make it home. Don’t be out late. You have school tomorrow,” she wagged her finger.
“I’m not, ma. Jacob mom is going to drop me off.”
She chilled out and kissed his forehead.
Her baby was almost taller than her which could’ve been another indicator that Keiter wasn’t his biological dad. The nigga was short as shit.
Kniko had Porter’s height and stature…or so she thought.
She walked to her car and got in.
Taking a deep breath then she busted out laughing.
Carmen couldn’t believe she asked Porter that…what was she thinking?
She drove home in silence.
Nia gave her a lot to think about.
Carmen decided to shower, say her prayers and go to bed. Today was a busy one.
Neezy told her not to wait up. He was pulling another all-nighter in the studio in which she didn’t understand since the album was done but she didn’t question him.
The next morning, he was in bed, snoring loudly.
Neezy never ever snored so she knew he was tired.
She climbed out of bed and went to make breakfast.<
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Carmen ate alone and slid his plate into the microwave. She decided to work from home today so that they could possibly spend an hour or two together before he headed back out.
The warning came early about his life changing rapidly and time being less and less available.
Carmen signed up for this in the beginning so she couldn’t start tripping now.
They would make it work, no matter what.
Hours later, around two-ish in the afternoon he came down the steps in nothing but a pair of boxers and socks.
“Hey sleepy head,” she greeted him with a smile.
He yawned loudly, “I needed that.”
His phone was dead, and he knew that allotted more rest for him.
Normally, that was how he woke up, the sound of a ringing phone.
“Good!” she was happy for him.
“How you sleep?”
She tossed and turned all through the night, “It was okay I probably slept better once you got in bed.”
He knew how that could be. He was the same way when it came to her.
“I made some breakfast,” she told him.
Neezy nodded his head, “What did you decide to do?”
He’d been waiting on an answer although he told her she had two months to think about it.
Carmen removed her glasses.
He was nervous for whatever she had to say.
“I weighed the options…and I thought about it from every angle,” she shared with him.
He was patient as he waited on her to continue.
“I’m going to try it out and see how it goes…I will be flying home for Kniko’s games and on the weekends, I want to fly him out during the school year.”
She couldn’t drop the ball with her son, she’d just gotten him back.
He told her, “Baby, you know we not going to be on tour forever.”
This was a small promotional tour. Not a big deal at all.
“Oh no, I know what I been praying about…God is taking you all over the World baby.”
Carmen shared with him.
She had crazy faith.
“We’re going to finish the house, together…no designers needed. Then, we’re going to interview people to get your mom here with us. Safe and sound. I think we should have a sit down with your team. I don’t like that you don’t trust them…”
She ran down the game plan.
He was so fuckin’ happy. He would do whatever she said right now. Carmen was Miss Boss Lady.
Neezy rushed over to her and smothered her with kisses.