As he sat trying to clear his mind, the heavy crack of a branch alerted him to a presence in the forest behind him. He stood up, tense. He had scoffed at Eva before, but this region was full of predators. Standing as still as he could, he tried to listen to the sounds of the forest. A slow, heavy panting came from the north of him. Sebastian quietly crouched down and picked up a thick branch that was half lit by the fire. Both bears and wolves were usually frightened off when they saw flame, which is why Sebastian thought it was odd they would willingly come exploring here. It likely meant that whatever beast this was, it was an exceptionally hungry one. He heard more noises coming from the south of him, and then the west. Sebastian realised that if these animals chose to strike, he would be surrounded. The only animal in these parts that hunted in a pack formation was the wolf – if they were starving he was in serious danger.
His fears were confirmed when one of the wolves stepped from the shadows into the light of the fire. He was a huge, snarling creature. As he approached Sebastian his hackles rose and he leant back on his front paws, poised to strike forward. Sebastian could hear the others following suit – obviously waiting for their leader to make the first move. Sebastian waved the branch in his direction, standing with his legs firmly planed in the ground. If he were going to make this out alive, then he would need to be ready.
There was a rusty axe about a yard away from him that he had used to break some of the branches with earlier, but he didn’t want to turn his back on the leaders’ approach. A small part of him wondered if it would be a good idea to call his father out – maybe two men would make the pack think twice, but he dismissed the idea, it was too dangerous.
“Just me, then – and a shit-load of you. Bring your worst, dog.” He spoke softly, and in the moment before the wolf leapt toward him, he noticed its eyes shining in the dark, an unnaturally bright white tinged with blue. The wolf was on him in an instant. Sebastian swung the branch at its face forcefully, sending the wolf's open jaws away from his own face, but not flinging the creature far enough. He threw himself toward the axe, landing on his side, and his fingers closed gratefully around the handle. As he pulled it toward him, the wolf leapt upward and upon him, sinking it’s huge, gleaming teeth into his shoulder blade.
The pain that ran through Sebastian was excruciating. It felt like every part of his body was screaming; his shoulder blade seared with heat as if it had been lit up with gasoline.
In a surge of adrenaline that almost made him black out, he drew the axe upward and then crashing down on the wolf, embedding the hilt into the thick fur at it’s neck, cutting through the tough sinew of flesh, blood and bone beneath. He let his own head fall back on the hard ground beneath him.
He knew it was only a matter of time before the rest of the pack fed on him, ripping his body apart as they shared out their meal. Sebastian looked up at the stars, his eyesight starting to blur as his body succumbed to darkness. He felt strangely light, as if his body was floating on air. He made a silent prayer that there wouldn’t be much left for his father to see in the morning, and as he closed his eyes against the night, the last thing he saw was the figure forever imprinted on his conscience, Eva. Always Eva.
3
Eva made her way along the back-roads to her home, she was later than usual - the larder fridge had malfunctioned at work and she’d spent hours after closing transferring all the food into a holding container out back so it wouldn’t spoil. She was tired and dirty, longing for a shower.
Ahead she could see the lights of her parent’s house, offering a guide as she made her way along the unlit road. There was a full moon tonight, thought partly obscured by cloud, and she half imagined she could hear the woeful howling of creatures in the dense forests of the White Mountain. She hoped Sebastian would be all right out there.
She wrapped her jacket more tightly around her as a cold breeze ran across the surrounding fields. Her ears pricked up again, and she wondered if she really could hear howling. A mournful sound echoed across the valley of the Creek, and the hair on Eva’s neck stood up as she heard it. She didn’t know if it was the nature of the sound, or something else, but she felt an unbearable wave of grief flood through her, so strong it gripped at her chest and could be felt right down in the pit of her stomach.
As she struggled to comprehend the sensation, it was rapidly replaced with another. A bolt of warmth burst throughout her body, removing the cold chill she had experienced a moment before, and leaving her heart fluttering in it’s ribcage. She felt light, woozy almost with a strange feeling of joy and contentment that was completely inexplicable. Sebastian. His name entered her conscience, as if someone had spoken the world out loud to her; her own body seemed to sing it, vibrating with the knowledge of his existence.
Eventually the intensity of the feeling left her and she slowly refocused on her reality, realising that she had been standing inert in the middle of the road without knowing for how long. She half ran the rest of the journey, feeling a sense of total freedom and release; as if she ran fast enough she might take flight and soar into the sky, outrunning the wind.
“Mom?” She dumped her bag down by the door and made her way into the living room. She could see her mother sitting on her armchair, lit only by the side lamp. The room felt a little chilly – which was unusual as her house was often over-hot and stuffy.
“Eva? I’m so glad you’re home. I was worried about you.” Her mother’s voice sounded a little thick, as if she’d been crying. As Eva got closer, she could see the red rims around her mother’s eyes, and her usually radiantly beautiful face looked worn and crumpled.
“Oh, Mom! What’s wrong?” She held her mother tight in her embrace, noticing for the first time how frail she seemed.
“Nothing’s wrong, nothing to worry about.” She tried to smile up at her daughter.
“Mom – I can see you’ve been crying – tell me.” Eva perched herself on the armchair, not willing to let her mother cover up her misery.
“I’m just being a silly old woman, really. Can I get you something to eat, darling?” She hastily wiped away the remaining tear tracks on her face and gave a small laugh.
“I’ve already eaten. You’re not silly or old. I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.” Eva’s mother looked up at her. She reached her hands upward and held her daughter’s face gently cradled in her palms. “You’re so beautiful Eva Haywood. Your father and I have always been so very, very proud of you.”
Eva smiled, “Never as beautiful as you.”
“Oh hush – rubbish. Listen to me Eva.” He mother had stopped smiling and looked deep into Eva’s eyes, “There’s nothing for you here - ”
“Mom!”
“No listen to me, carefully – I’m saying this because I love you. I want you to marry that man, Jimmy, have beautiful babies and live a long, happy life.”
“But Mom - ” Eva tried to protest, to find a way to explain the truth of her feelings.
“I know you don’t love him. But that doesn’t always matter so much if you can find happiness in other things, and you will Eva. Don’t listen when Beaver Creek calls to your heart - listen to your head instead, you’ll find peace that way.”
Eva stared worriedly down at her mother. This was so unlike her. She loved her husband fiercely, and had such a happy marriage. Eva could remember previous conversations from when she was younger, where her mother had told Eva repeatedly that one day she’d find a man she fell head-over-heels in love with, and suddenly the world would make sense.
“Go to bed, honey. We’re going to have a big day tomorrow.” Her mother patted her hand gently, “Leave me here – I’m going to see in the dawn, just this once.”
Eva left reluctantly, making her way upstairs to her room. Her mother was clearly deeply unhappy about something. She hoped when her dad came home from his fishing trip in the morning she would feel better. Maybe she just missed him.
All in all, she thought, as her head hit the pillow t
hat night, it had been a very strange evening.
4
Sebastian came to with a jolt. The morning sun was too bright above him, and he instinctively lifted his arms to shade himself. As he did so he felt a dull throbbing ache at his shoulder blade, and last night’s events came flooding back.
He bolted up into a sitting position, his eyes coming to rest on his father sitting on the fallen log next to the long-dead fire. The pair stared at each other, Sebastian frantically scanning his father’s body to check if he was hurt. He seemed fine, and Sebastian exhaled a sigh of relief.
“I’m sorry, Son.” His father broke the silence before Sebastian could speak.
“What the hell happened?” asked Sebastian. He felt groggy and stiff, feeling the effects of spending the night on the forest floor.
His father sighed, his eyes cast downward. He hesitated a moment before finally speaking, “It was time.”
“Jesus dad, what are you talking about? There was a pack of wolves here last night, I was attacked - I thought I was a dead man – how on earth am I still alive?” Sebastian stood up and surveyed the forest floor. No dead wolf.
“I thought…I thought I killed one, maybe I’m imagining it…” He looked at his father, incomprehension written across his face.
“Well, you did. You were attacked – though, well, the pack wasn’t here to kill you. The creatures you saw last night are the remaining Tanana shape-shifters.” He said the last line in a near whisper, but Sebastian got the gist of his explanation.
“Dad, I’m sorry, but please don’t start with that stuff again, I feel like shit, and I’m confused as hell right now. Do we have any coffee?”
Sebastian slowly made his way toward the lodge to collect the supplies and find the camping stove he and his father bought with them on most overnight trips.
His father was silent while he set up the stove and got the water boiling. He was still trying to make sense of what had happened, the only conclusion he could rationally come to was that his father had found a way to scare them off, otherwise – well, it was a miracle he was alive.
“So what did you do – how did you get rid of them?” he asked, mixing up the coffee for the two of them, and handing his father a cup.
“I didn’t. I told you – they weren’t here to kill you. Did you hear a word I said last night?” His father sounded angry, but his aggressive tone was tinged with sadness.
“The wolf has always been strong in you,” he continued, “Haywood knew it, he wanted you to join the pack, but I kept telling him to wait - ”
“Eva’s father? What’s this got to do with him?” Sebastian’s question was curt, and his father raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question.
“He is, was, the pack leader.” Replied his father.
“Was?”
“You killed him last night. They boys have already taken his body. You’re the pack leader now, son.”
Sebastian sunk his head into his hands. This was all too much to take in, he didn’t know if his dad had gone crazy, or if he had. All he could really comprehend was that he had somehow managed to kill Eva’s father. The realization hit him full force, and he felt sick to his stomach. Not only had he taken another man’s life, but he had taken a life that was so precious to the one person he wouldn’t ever want to hurt for all the world. Eva would never forgive him.
He would never forgive himself.
“I know you’re hurting. I know this is some scary, strange stuff – but I need you to understand that you took his life trying to protect your own. They should never have done it like this.”
Sebastian pulled himself together and looked at his father.
“Say for a moment I believe all this wolf crap – I want to know, is this the reason we’ve been selling timber to Haywood for years for nothing?”
“Yes. I was buying him off. Making him wait.”
“Jesus dad.” Sebastian started to clear away the equipment, he was trying his best to untangle some logical sense in what his father was saying, or at the very least to poke some holes in his whiskey-induced theories, “And if I’m wolf, then why aren’t you?”
“I was. I stopped succumbing to the urges when your mother got sick.” He took a gulp of coffee before continuing, “Didn’t want you to grow up alone. I rejected my wolf, and eventually the call to change became weaker. Haywood never really forgave me.”
Sebastian tried to process what his dad was saying, but he couldn’t really comprehend the idea of his own father as a creature similar to what he’d seen last night.
“Where are the rest of them – the pack?” Sebastian asked.
“Waiting where we parked. Waiting for you.”
“Great.” Sebastian picked up the hiking rucksack that carried all their belongings. “You coming?” he asked his dad.
“Billy Payne’s picking me up later this afternoon. You need to do this by yourself.”
Sebastian eyed him wearily. “You knew this was going to happen last night, didn’t you?”
His dad replied with a wane smile, “Yeah. But believe me, it’s the thing I’ve been dreading most ever since I held you in my arms as a baby. But it’s the way things got to be.”
Sebastian nodded. He didn’t have much to say to that.
He turned and made his way into the forest, in a mile or so he’d pick up the dirt path and make his way down to the truck, and, if his father were to be believed, a leaderless pack of waiting wolves.
5
A group of roughly four or five men stood waiting for Sebastian when he entered the clearing where his truck stood. They surrounded the vehicle. As he drew closer, he recognized all of them as town locals, but seeing them stand like this, he saw the similarities between them all – they looked in a strange way like a family, or he supposed, a pack. All were tall, all had varying degrees of muscle – the younger ones sinewy and almost lanky, the older men built on the sturdier side.
“How’s it going?” one of the younger boys called out, with a big grin on his face. Sebastian recognized him as Taylor, a boy of about sixteen he knew quite well – Sebastian had slept with his mother the first autumn that Eva went off to Harvard. At the time he didn’t think he would ever see Eva again; Taylor’s mom was a tool to drive away the pain.
“Hey.” He spoke curtly, not quite able to join in with Taylor’s jovial tone.
Strangely enough, they all looked pretty happy to see him. Sebastian nodded toward Logan, the garage mechanic in Beaver Creek, who he’d occasionally had a beer with, and his son, Felix, a boy of about eighteen and his friend Elliott – a boy who had a notorious reputation, and had been in and out of juvenile detention since he was about fourteen. He was a nice kid though, as long as you didn’t put a drink in him. The unreality of the situation aside, Sebastian was starting to feel a bit more normal – these were all good guys he knew and respected. He was startled to see boys so young here, but they were good kids.
Then Lucian Trestler stepped around from behind the driver’s cab of the truck, and Sebastian started to feel less comfortable. His expression was anything but welcoming. His jet black hair was slicked down with so many layers of gel you could practically see the birds in the sky reflected off it, and his pock marked skin looked as greasy as his hair. He was wearing the same too-tight black jeans he always wore, and studded black leather cowboy boots. He flicked down a cigarette butt on the floor, as if it were a challenge, then stepped forward and slowly ground it beneath his heel.
Sebastian curled his lip. Lucian was a nasty piece of work – Sebastian had heard stories about the way he treated co-workers and women alike. There were rumours that he also had a thing for young girls. Really young girls.
“You feeling up to being our leader, boy?” Lucian said with a sneer. He spat out a stream of gob on the front wheel of Sebastian’s truck.
“Leave it, Lucian” Logan interrupted, shooting Lucian a dirty look. Sebastian just stared at Lucian. Men like him, disgusting men with no morals and no dignity di
dn’t threaten or scare Sebastian. They just made his blood run white-hot with rage.
“If you don’t think I’m up for it, why don’t you challenge me – that’s how it works, right? Then I’ll have an excuse to rip your fucking head off.” Sebastian’s voice was low, calm and deadly.
There was silence, and then Lucian roared with laughter.
“Maybe I will, maybe I’ll do just that.” He walked off toward another waiting truck.
“Felix, Elliott, go with Lucian. Taylor – you ride with me and Seb.” Logan barked out orders to the younger kids.
“Really?” Felix looked pleadingly at his dad, when Lucian was out of earshot.
“Yeah – keep him calm, kid.” Logan squeezed his son on his shoulder, before walking toward Sebastian’s own truck. “You got the keys to this beast?”
The two trucks exited the White Mountain forest, and joined the highway back to Beaver Creek.
6
Sebastian pulled into the driveway of Eva’s house. He cut the engine but made no move to exit the car. Lucian and the others had stopped off at a gas station to buy beer and crisps.
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