“Just wanted a taste,” he murmured as he broke the kiss, “Just a one-time thing. I don’t do strings. I’m not wired right for a lasting relationship.”
“Connor?”
“Yeah?”
“Who said anything about a relationship? Just shut up and kiss me again.”
Then his mouth was on her lips, trailing down her throat, nipping and teasing. She shivered in response and drew instinctively closer. When he lifted her by her hips and placed her on the seat of his bike she vaguely realized that if she was going to stop this, now would be the time.
Instead, she found herself guiding his mouth back to her own. She tentatively reached out to touch him through his jeans, unsure how far he might be willing to go in the darkened parking lot. He was big, hard and ready for her. Just touching him through the thick denim was making her wet, sending liquid heat straight to her core.
She pushed him back lightly and dropped gently to her knees before him. It seemed like a stranger surely must be the one kissing the head of his dick through his pants while she deftly unfastened his belt and pants. She wasn’t a prude, but parking lot quickies weren’t really her style either.
She wasn’t about to stop though. She needed to taste him, craved it. He let her take him in her mouth, let her rock forward and back, up and down his length with her lips and tongue. Then he raised her again, turned her so she was facing his bike.
“God that felt amazing baby, but I just might die if I don’t get inside you.”
She let him bend her over, lift her skirt and shove her panties to the side. He didn’t enter her as she’d thought he would though. Instead his warm, wet tongue found her slit from behind while nimble fingers pulsed quickly against her clit.
He brought her to the brink, then held back. She writhed with need, and when he stood and slipped inside her, with one hand working her sensitized nipples, she came fast and hard. Then both hands were on her hips, pulling her back onto his cock again and again, with a slapping sound, as he demanded that she meet him thrust for thrust.
When he found his release, his cock pulsed inside her, and pushed her over the edge again. She couldn’t stop the needy cries that escaped her throat.
It wasn’t until after, that reality came crashing back down around her. She almost couldn’t believe what she’d just done. Still, she couldn’t resist one last hot, lingering kiss.
“Tell me your name.” His voice was sex roughened. She didn’t reply, instead choosing to hop on her bike and ride off into the night. It looked like he’d be paying her tab after all.
3
Connor found his way to consciousness slowly, the blaring of his alarm clock an unwelcome guide back to the land of the living. The first thing he was aware of was a pounding in his head, a familiar remnant of a night spent in the bottle. As he reached over to stop the offensive resounding blare of his alarm, the memory of the night before came crashing over him, bringing a smile to his lips and a shot of remembered lust straight to his groin. He took a deep breath, thinking of the vivacious curves of her body, the feel of her hot, soft lips around his cock. Damn, the woman knew how to use those lips, and that tongue…just the memory had him hot and ready for her again. He reached down, stroking the enlarged shaft of his erection until he brought himself quickly to release, but it was a poor substitute for the warm grip of her sweet pussy.
He rolled out of bed and quickly showered. The hot water and a strong cup of coffee soon had him set to rights, though he had drunk quite a bit the night before. Most military men were no stranger to a hangover. He’d learned long ago to shrug them off and carry on. He would make it through the day, running on willpower through the dehydration and sleep deprivation. Then tonight he would crash out early, and tomorrow he would be good as new.
He quickly put on his uniform. He could have worn civilian clothes, as he was going to get cleared by mental health today, but putting on the uniform seemed like a promise to himself that he would be back to work by the end of the day. Any shrink worth his salt would be able to see that there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with his head. Yes, that was how it would go. A quick meeting and then he could get back to work.
On the drive to the clinic, his thoughts kept straying back to his mystery woman, and each time it brought a small smile to his lips. He didn’t have a single regret from last night. He’d seldom had a partner who so readily agreed to his no strings, no commitment lifestyle.
A lot of women said they did, but inevitably he would catch them staring at him with the wistful look of someone gazing upon something they would never truly own. Not her though. She’d met him on his own ground and then some. He almost wished he’d gotten her phone number. Not because he wanted anything more permanent, he assured himself. He just would have liked to keep the option of seeing her again open.
He almost considered going back the 6 D’s tonight, just to see if she showed up again. No. He wouldn’t do that. There wasn’t much of a chance of seeing her there again. He hadn’t before last night, after all. He was sure he would have noticed a woman that looked as delectable as she did.
Soon the mental health clinic loomed before him and he set aside his musings to face this small obstacle. In and out, he reminded himself. No problem. The wait was blessedly brief—a rare occurrence in military health facilities of any kind in his experience—and Connor found himself quickly questioned before he was sent back into the waiting room until the counselor he’d been assigned to see was free.
“Petty Officer Mitchell?”
For a split second Connor thought he must still be a tad drunk, or maybe hearing things. The damn shrink sounded just like the woman from last night. She had evidently consumed his thoughts more than he realized. He didn’t catch more than a glimpse as the shrink moved back into her office, confident that he would follow.
He did, but what he saw once he entered the office left him rooted to the floor. His gaze met that of the woman he’d been fantasizing about all morning. Pure lust shot through his startled system, quickly followed by alarm and a bit of anger.
He didn’t do emotional entanglements, but here stood the woman he’d been with last night. He would be expected to tell her all the details of the most horrible moments of his life? Just the thought made him feel vulnerable. Nothing brought him to anger faster than vulnerability.
He tamped down on the emotions. No way would he let her know that she’d unsettled him. He felt the expression drain from his face to be replaced with the cocky grin that she’d found so appealing the night before. Somehow it felt wrong, like a stiff mask. He didn’t let the smile fade though. His arrogant smirk was armor every bit as much as the flak vest and Kevlar he’d worn in enemy territory, and Connor Mitchell didn’t let anyone slip inside his defenses.
4
Everly felt a pang of sympathy as she read through the file of her first patient in her new clinic. She always hurt right along with the service men and women she counseled. She had many colleagues who distanced themselves. Earlier in her career they’d advised her to do the same, had told her that if she couldn’t turn it off to some degree then she’d never hold up. Their criticism hadn’t made her quit caring, though. It had merely made her more reluctant to admit that she hurt, to varying degrees, right along with all of the service members she treated who’d been diagnosed with PTSD.
After she’d called in Petty Officer Mitchell, she turned back into her office and had a seat behind her desk. Mentally, she recalled the details of this case. Petty Officer Mitchell had been on multiple deployments as a Navy Seal, all of them covert ops. Because of the nature of his missions, she didn’t have access to a lot of the details. She knew enough of what he’d been through, though, to be quite concerned. Petty Officer Mitchell was a man who had been constantly surrounded by death.
Deaths had a way of piling up, one upon another, until they formed a burden heavier than any man should have to bear. Really, she felt that this man should have been evaluated more closely years ago. On hi
s last mission, things had been even worse. He’d led his squad on this operation, and the entire squad had been killed. One of the casualties was his own best friend, a man by the name of Jonathan Mills.
An investigation had been subsequently launched. While she was to provide her opinion on Mitchell’s mental fitness, Petty Officer Mitchell’s commander had been concerned because, according to him, Mitchell didn’t have any family and had very few friends. The CO had been worried about what the loss of the only person on Earth that Mitchell seemed to be close to would do to his mental health.
Truth be told, Everly was worried too, and she hadn’t even evaluated him yet. Support systems were a crucial part of working through PTSD, even more than most people realized. She glanced up expectantly as the door to her office closed, a polite, professional smile on her face.
Her smile froze, along with the greeting that had been waiting on the tip of her tongue. There was Connor, looking at her with a maelstrom of expressions sweeping across his face. She watched as lust, hurt, and anger quickly rolled over his eyes before he covered it with a cocky grin. This could not be happening. It just couldn’t. What were the chances that the first one night stand she’d had in years would be with her very first patient? Devil take it, please tell me I’m hallucinating.
“Oh, you’re not, Beautiful.” She could almost feel his eyes raking up and down her body. She couldn’t help remembering how it had felt last night to have his hands and lips tracing molten trails across her skin. An unwelcome ribbon of desire unfurled low in her belly, quickly followed by a blush that she was certain must be visible even against her dark skin.
“So, I guess I know your name now, don’t I, Doctor Willis?”
She took a deep breath. Don’t stare at his mouth when he talks. Be professional. You can do this. She opened her mouth, intent on asking him to keep their encounters professional.
“Everly, not Doctor Willis.” She cringed at the breathy, flirtatious tone the innocent words had taken on. Hell’s bells…she did not need this man calling her by her first name.
“Okay, Everly.” Somehow those two words seemed like they were a caress against her skin. Damn, this man was smooth…He was around the desk and standing before her in seconds. To her horror, she couldn’t stop her eyes from trailing across him hungrily as she looked up to meet his gaze.
It was obvious from his smile, and from the gleam of barely contained lust in his eyes, that he hadn’t missed her perusal. He crouched slowly before her until his lips were a breath away from hers.
“I thought I wasn’t going to feel any better after this visit, but I think you might be just what the doctor ordered.” He closed the distance between them then, and Everly didn’t stop his soft questioning kiss. She couldn’t begin to fight the passion welling up in her at the memory of last night.
Her nipples became hardened pebbles at the memory of how his lips had felt against them last night. As if he could read her mind, he gently stroked them, teasing them to harder peaks still before he twisted them gently between his fingers.
The sound of her own breathless groan, torn from her throat against her will, broke through the haze of lust that clouded her mind. She jumped up abruptly, tearing her mouth from his even as her body cried out at the loss of his touch.
“Connor…Petty Officer…Oh, just please have a seat!”
His questioning gaze searched her until he saw something that made him smile tightly and, thank goodness, take a seat in one of the padded leather chairs opposite her desk.
“Okay, Everly. How about, if you don’t want a repeat of last night—” A pointed look at her hardened nipples, still showing clearly through the fabric of her silk shirt, told her that he knew as well as she did what she really wanted. “Then at least clear me to get back to work.”
She cleared her throat and willed herself to be the professional she knew she needed to be for him, whether he wanted it or not. Besides, there was no way she was going to blow off—or hand off to another psychologist—her first case. Not. Happening.
“I can’t do that, Petty Officer. I’m not putting my license on the line to lie and say—”
“I’m fine.”
“To say that you are fine, then, when I haven’t evaluated you. I know you’ve been on missions where men were lost before, but this time, from what I understand, you lost a friend. Don’t you want to talk about Jonathan?”
Raw, naked agony shown in his eyes, but only for a split second. She could see the emotional wall that he’d built to keep the world from witnessing his pain. In a second, he was on his feet. She’d just sat down, but she rose again to meet him.
“No, Sweetheart. I don’t want to talk about Jonathan. I don’t want to talk at all.”
His mouth was on hers again, this time in a hard, bruising kiss that she couldn’t help but respond to completely. His hands were on her, everywhere, bringing back all of the sensations from last night. Without alcohol to dull the effect of his touch, she felt him even more. Every caress sent pleasure so intense it bordered on pain shooting through her core.
By the time he picked her up and sat her on her desk, she was beyond caring about proper. He pushed her skirt up around her full hips and she wiggled to make it easier for him, then gasped as his hand slid between her legs, unashamed of how wet she was for him. It was all she could do when he slid one finger into her not to cry out. Instead, she whimpered and writhed against him.
He seemed to know what she craved. One finger moved up after he moistened it with her glistening need to lightly circle her tight bundle of nerves, while the other hand traveled up her shirt to massage her breast. It only took his skilled fingers minutes to bring her to a pinnacle, then let her fall apart against him.
He could have taken her then. She would have let him, would have thrown away her career, her life’s work, if she had been caught. He didn’t press on though. Instead, he held her to him and stroked her hair gently, a bemused smile on his face.
She melted into him, but only for a moment.
“Well, doc…is this the initial work-up you give all your crazies?”
The caring man she’d glimpsed moments ago, was gone. His callous smugness shattered the moment, and with the return of reality, mortification filled her. She quickly jumped off her desk and tugged down her skirt with shaking hands. She couldn’t even bring herself to meet his eyes, instead focusing on the floor while she spoke.
“I think you need to leave Petty Officer. If you want to be cleared for duty, schedule another appointment.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Everly.” The tone was mocking, an obvious effort to distance himself after the lapse in his defenses he’d shown her in an unguarded moment.
“I’m serious. Will Thursday work for our next appointment? I can’t help you unless you want it, Connor.” She finally looked up to meet his eyes so that he could see her sincerity for himself.
His gaze was pure masculine heat. “Oh, I want it alright, and you can help me any time.”
5
The following days fell into a predictable pattern, one Connor remembered from his earlier days in the military. He went to the range more often than not after a vigorous morning workout. Then, after the duty day was over, he would work on his Harley. It was the only thing that he truly enjoyed beyond the military. Unfortunately, he couldn’t look at the bike now without thinking about Everly’s luscious form pressed against it in the velvety shadows of the night. Fuck, he deserved as much. With time, the memory would be a good one, but right now it bordered on painful, and filled him with an aching need to be inside her again.
So his days went…exercise, range, Harley, and sleeping alone, aching for a woman that he couldn’t have. Though the endless training seemed pointless, as his tactical skills were finely honed, he knew that if he let himself, he might begin to get rusty. That couldn’t be allowed. He needed to be sharp. He needed to be prepared when his chain of command was ready for him to deploy again.
That m
ight happen sooner, he admitted to himself contritely, if he scheduled another appointment with Everly. There was no way he would be cleared without her go-ahead, but their last encounter had left him…unsettled. He’d wanted nothing more than to bring her to orgasm, but once he had, Connor hadn’t been able to seek pleasure for himself. He’d gazed down at her, and while he’d wanted her more than he had anything in his entire life, he hadn’t been able to take her. Not when doing so would risk her getting caught and, more likely than not, fired. He’d held her for a fleeting moment while he’d cursed himself for being the worst kind of asshole to come so close to endangering her career.
If caught, he might have gotten in a bit of trouble for what they’d done—probably not—but she could have lost her job if someone had walked in on them. And while he’d wanted her, he’d also been acutely aware that he was using her desire for him as a weapon, a way to keep her from seeing him vulnerable. He wasn’t the kind to commit, but he had never been this…calculating, either.
He would schedule the appointment, and this time he wouldn’t touch her, he promised himself. He sure as fuck wasn’t going to go crying to her about his feelings either. He’d go and get cleared for duty, nothing more and nothing less.
The following afternoon, Connor was just about to gas up his bike and was taking his helmet off when he spotted Jonathan’s widow, Marsha, across the parking lot. She was trying to put air in the tires of her old suburban with a baby on her hip. Her second youngest had unbuckled and was trying to climb out of the car while her oldest, who was only around five years old, cried her heart out in the back seat. Marsha looked nothing like the young, confident woman he’d known. No, this Martha was haggard and worn, with hard lines about her mouth and eyes that spoke of hard living or grief rather than age. In her case, Connor knew, it was grief.
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