by P. S. Power
Still, they pretty much all had that now, didn’t they?
But when people got loud, someone had to stop them. Either they did it themselves, or Jake did it for them. He really hated doing it. The nightmares about it alone made him want to stop. If he did though, everyone else would end up dead, so he kept going. Kept killing to save lives. He knew why he did it, agreed that it was logical and needed, and it still sounded insane, even in his own head.
When he started fighting to get the back door of the kitchen open, juggling his load, metal and wood clanking and clacking just a bit, the door opened. It nearly made him drop the whole mess as the handle moved suddenly under his sore right hand. When it opened wide enough for him to see who was there, a familiar face greeted him. A tiny and exotic one topped with golden hair.
Sammi.
“I thought I heard something. Is there a problem? Why do you have… weapons?” She may have looked eleven, possibly a short twelve, with her blonde hair and out of place Asian looking eyes, but she was actually the oldest person in the place right now, and knew the difference between things to take down a tree and what they used to stop the undead.
He shrugged. As a Bawdri, she just didn’t know about Christmas at all, did she? Not as something other than a passing thought once a year or however often she got into town. It wasn’t her tradition. That didn’t mean she’d never seen a Christmas special on television, did it? Jake didn’t explain, but smiled at her as she took the hatchet, making the whole thing easier to carry.
“Nope, nothing wrong at all. Just time to go and get something.” He walked through the decently large room, which was very warm compared to outside and headed toward the living room, where he expected to find everyone kind of moping and cowering in fear after the last attack. That was the norm after all.
Instead he found a flurry of activity and every single body in the room doing something. Mainly cleaning up. The place was kept spotless most of the time, but with a hundred and forty people or whatever the count was at now, things got untidy. They had underground rooms for sleeping, but most of the people preferred to be above ground during the day. Some had to stay there all the time, not able to handle the dark, closed in space below.
“Let’s get those pine bow swags hung.” A small form, also blonde and not a lot bigger than Sammi directed everything, sounding pleased enough as she did. Nearly happy even. Colleen Becks.
Really she was as close to an old friend as he had in the world now, wasn’t she? Jake had known her sister. For a time. A long time. He tried really hard not to think about that. It wasn’t going to work though, was it? Not on Christmas.
She waved excitedly at him and took in the tools, but didn’t comment on them. Instead she walked over and gave him an awkward hug, coming at him slightly from the right side, which got several of the women working to stop and glare. At him. She let him go and had managed to not impale herself on either the ax or the small saw, so that part was all good. She started to say something, but before she could get more that a few syllables out, a fairly snotty voice came from the other side of the room. It wasn’t that loud, so Jake didn’t draw down on the woman talking, even though it would have been nice to shut her up. He didn’t even have to hear where she was going with it to know that.
He really didn’t need this stuff today, did he? None of them did. It was Christmas for goodness sake.
Becky Fines wrinkled her upper lip in disgust, something she did pretty well, given her hooked nose and heavy eyebrows. No one plucked their eyebrows anymore. Why bother?
“Colleen, you don’t have to let him touch you. Nate said we don’t have to put up with anything like that. Not even from him.” She sounded angry and like she wanted to hit someone.
Someone named Jake.
He tried to ignore her, but she kept going, even making a point of walking across the room and pushing between him and Colleen. It was invasive, a clear attempt to dominate him.
“I know that those women have all said he didn’t rape them, and the girls claimed the same, but only after Carley did something to them last night. We need to watch him and not let him near the kids.”
That the accusations had all been false didn’t really seem to matter to the dark haired woman, she just kept going, even as a few other people started to stare at her. Everyone in the room had stopped though, some looking at him, a few at her. All at least a bit angry or in some cases, scared. He just sighed. It hadn’t been anything he’d done, but the false accusations had really hurt, and this was sort of like having to relive it all again. Nothing he said would do more than add fuel to her irrational fire though, would it?
Shooting her might stop it. It was kind of temping for a few seconds as she kept prattling on. Finally he just looked away from her when she stopped speaking, and looked around the room.
Damn.
They’d all heard too, hadn’t they? The evil seeds of doubt planted again.
“Becky… I didn’t do anything like that to anyone, and never have. You keep accusing me of things to try and sabotage me, to make me look bad and harm me. I want to know why. I’ve never harmed you, you know that. Some people got together and made up some fake rumors and claims, but they were, by and large, the same people that tried to kill you all last night. Did you miss that part? I know that some bad things happened to you at the last place you were all at, but that isn’t here, and I’m not like them. Right now though, you’re just making me feel bad. Angry.” He stared at her, but didn’t think he looked all that mean. His clean shaved face didn’t smile, but he wasn’t looking down a weapon at her either.
Though he was holding an ax.
“So, why? Do you have an actual reason to do it, or are you just…” He really didn’t know what she could have been thinking. Instead of going on he just waited.
She had an answer at least. It wasn’t a good one and didn’t help anything, but words came out of her mouth.
“People with power abuse it. Always. We all know that. You could kill any of us and get away with it too, no one would speak out against you if you told them not too.”
Sammi walked over to the larger woman and stepped calmly in front of Jake, facing Becky. The girl had to look up at the taller woman, but sounded a lot older than her apparent years just then.
“I note, however, that you feel safe enough with him to simply walk up and begin a verbal attack that would have had many here shooting you, even as he stands armed with at least four lethal weapons. I applaud your efforts to stand up for your people Becky, but even your own instincts tell you that Jake isn’t a threat in the way you claim. He literally cannot be. I suggest you ask those of your people that know what it means to be A Very Good Man about the subject and perhaps talk to Nate again. For now, please accept my word on the matter? We have work to do and dignitaries coming at any moment. This is rather not the scene I pictured them arriving too.”
Becky sneered again and just walked away. No one looked at him overly, pretending nothing had happened.
Grand. Because what was Christmas without someone going over the top and trying to spoil it?
“Well, I’d come in to see if anyone wanted to go and get a tree with me. I don’t suppose anyone will after that. I’m getting a bit sick of the lies.” Jake started to walk out, when a voice spoke up from behind him. Female and not one he recognized.
“I’ll go.” The girl was one he knew, once he turned around, since there weren’t that many of them over all. He didn’t know her name though. She was cute enough, with long brown hair and Hispanic looks. Her teeth weren’t perfect and she had a few zits on her face, but she managed to smile at Jake, even if it did look forced.
If she was fifteen, he’d have been surprised. One of the “play toys” the Westwood police force had picked up after they turned into a giant gang and kind of went crazy. The girl most likely hadn’t been treated well by them either, if what Cam had told him was true. None of the women were. Not even the female police officers.
&n
bsp; “I’ve been here for a while now and I haven’t seen Jake, or anyone else, do, or even say anything all that bad. Except for the people that betrayed and attacked us. We need to not let lies tear us apart. Besides, we should have a tree.”
Another girl, the one that Jake always thought of as “The Hater”, walked over and tried to stop the girl, as if they were leaving right that second. Actually grabbing her arm to restrain her from running out, as if that was the plan. Normally it would have been the time for her to go on about how they didn’t have to do anything with Jake, and that the rules here were different, possibly implying about what Becky just had. He got the idea, the girls had really been hurt. Damaged. Most of the new women had been. Raped and sometimes physically abused to keep them in line. Even the ones that hadn’t been with the police often had similar stories.
It didn’t make being the unjustified target of their scorn any easier to handle.
She didn’t talk about Jake at all though, which surprised him.
“Mary, there are probably zombies all over the place out there. It’s too dangerous.” Then, as if realizing Jake might just be a person too, she took a deep breath and actually made eye contact.
“It’s probably too dangerous for you too… Sir. I… Maybe no one should go? Is a tree worth someone dying?”
A low chuckle came from the back of the room, getting Jake to look at Dave, the thirteen year old Cleaner from Tipper’s crew. Almost fourteen now, Jake thought. It was the same one he was on, so they’d worked together a lot over the last months. He was one of the few people Jake really knew anymore. The kid shook his head just a little.
“It’s not too dangerous if we’re smart about it, and run this as an operation, rather than just trying to dash in and get a tree like idiots. It’s Christmas after all. What says 'happy holidays' better than taking out some zombies?” He grinned and managed to look psychopathically charming instead of just psychopathic. That took some work for him. Sammi figured him as having a double Y chromosome condition, which made him a lot more aggressive and fearless than most people. A whole lot more.
It didn’t make him stupid about it though, which was why he was still alive.
“Let’s form three teams. One to run guard duty for the cutting group, one to draw any deaders out into the open, and one to protect the bait detail?”
Funny enough, it was Colleen, who was in charge of the party planning, who agreed. Nearly.
“Four teams. We need someone with some actual aesthetic sense to go and pick the right tree, don’t we?” Her face looked calm, but like a flat mask, as if trying to hide her personal fear. It wasn’t a joke, being afraid to go out into the woods just then.
“After we all eat something though.” She added, her voice a little less sure of itself suddenly, realizing that speaking up was the same as volunteering.
Everyone, including Jake, had to agree with that, and Lois even had food ready for them, if plain stuff. Bowls of corn mush with chopped sautéed vegetables mixed in. It was something of a new dish, but no one seemed to mind. It was filling and if it lacked flavor, at least it wasn’t made up of human flesh. They all ate sitting on the floor though, the tables already set up for company. The older kitchen lady gave them all a slightly manic grin when she explained what was going on with those.
“If you mess up my arrangements now, I won’t be able to fix it in time. So, the floor for all of you.” She waved a long silver ladle at them menacingly and went back to the warmer room through the open door.
Jake laughed a little. Not as happy as earlier, but recovering from the emotional beating Becky had decided to deliver. She was just afraid after all. Not evil
Most likely.
Her sister had been kind of evil though, so maybe it was a family thing? He’d need to watch for that. Becky Fines seemed smarter than her sister Tammy had been by a good bit. That could just mean more dangerous though, couldn’t it? Becky actually had influence over the new women, too. So if she kept going around making fake claims about Jake, they might start to stick. It was kind of a big deal, to him, if no one else. As it was he probably needed to get home at the end of the day and stay gone for a good long while. This just wasn’t a good situation for him.
They needed his help, but, as he was largely coming to understand, he didn’t really need them.
He’d actually managed to grow enough in all of this, somehow, to become self-sufficient. It was incredible, but very nearly even true. Jake ate sitting with his back to the outside wall, alone, with a dish of food in his hands, eating it slowly, paying attention to each bite. Food had been in short supply long enough for each mouthful to be meaningful to him now.
He wasn’t lonely for long, since Tipper came and settled next to him, the sidearm she wore touching his left arm as she did. She wore flannel and had her hair short enough that it was probably a little bristly on top. A military cut. She was dressed to fight the dead, but then she always was, that being her main job. She was also supposed to be his friend, but they’d had some issues in the last months. It was kind of surprising that she bothered to come over at all.
For a few minutes she just ate, matching him bite for bite, slowly and without so much as a grumble about the added veggies. It was all food, and they were good for you. A few people made noise about the lack of meet, but Jake just caught her eyes and rolled his own. She ducked her head and smiled.
“I know. You’d think they’d remember being without anything, all those times, but people will bitch. It’s what they do best, in most cases.” Her voice was friendly at least. As if she was trying to act like he didn’t creep her the heck out. She’d said that, more than once. Usually while suggesting that he fundamentally deserved to never have sex, because he was way to creepy for that.
He hadn’t, not ever, but it was really cruel of her to say that, wasn’t it? Especially since she was kind of the House slut. She’d slept with almost everyone at some point, except Nate and Vickie. Well, the kids, but honestly Jake wasn’t sure about Dave.
Then, the age of consent had kind of shifted, hadn’t it? A bunch of the new women were “dating” the younger guys, since there were so few men. Two of them, the oldest males to survive the police compound, had several adult girlfriends. They were both twelve. No one said anything about it really.
So, no double standard there. Not at all. Even though he’d been reviled for supposedly having done something with either Sammi or Darla. Darla at least looked way to young. Maybe seven. She was really over eighty and as dead as the zombies outside though. Sammi looked nearly twelve and was a hundred and forty something. Still, even the fact that he hadn’t done it wasn’t enough for some of them.
Old habits, probably. Even the women sleeping with the boys looked at him funny, without a hint of irony at all.
Jake let it go, or tried to. Crying over it wouldn’t help now, though he was freaking pointing it all out if anyone made a claim like that again. Really, enough was enough, wasn’t it? He worked hard enough not to have to be the least liked person in the room.
Maybe tie up for the bottom place? It would be a step up no doubt. Tied with whom he didn’t know. He looked over at Tipper to see her mouth still moving. Oops. He’d kind of zoned on her.
“Nate’s going to have a talk with her, a few of the others too. It isn’t fair, and we don’t need this kind of thing. Becky doesn’t mean to be hurtful, I don’t think, she just doesn’t know which way to jump right now, so she’s lashing out at the strongest authority figure she can find. Here that pretty much has to be you, doesn’t it?”
Jake took a bite of the corn pudding stuff and tried to see what she meant. It sort of made sense, didn’t it? A traumatized woman going after Jake, because… It fell apart for him at about that point. Did he seem like a cop or something? That wasn’t it though. He really couldn’t see why she’d decided to pick on him. It didn’t really matter though. He glanced sideways at Tip and shook his head, answering her gently.
“Not really. I�
�m not in charge, Nate is, and even after that, there are like six people here more in charge than I am, so I kind of have to think it’s a bit more personal than that. I don’t even live here now. Or… I really don’t know. I’ll be glad when this is all over and I can go home. Maybe I can stay away for a while and let things get better? I’m really coming to hate it here. I’m just about ready to write this place off altogether, you know? If it doesn’t get better at least.” It was something to hope for.
The idea just made Tipper snort.
“Things don’t get better here when you leave Jake. They just go downhill. I’m sure Becky will come around, and the others. It’ll just take some time. That’s all.”
It was a holiday, the first they’d had since everything fell apart even, nearly nine months now, ten really, so Jake didn’t want to ruin it by explaining his position again. It was getting old hearing it, even from inside his own head.
No, from now on he was just going to do something about his life, which meant leaving this place as soon as possible. It was tempting to just take off right then, but that would be petty. They had guests coming and in part they wanted to visit with him. Why exactly that was, no one had really explained. Even if he was what they thought, A Very Good Man, that didn’t explain it all, not really. So he was innately a good guy? Nice to know. He still had to shoot people in the head and fight zombies. It was more of a handicap than a power, wasn’t it? Not exactly who anyone wanted hanging around at the end of the world. Not if they were smart.
He looked over at the woman next to him, a person he had very little reason to trust, and decided to just ask anyway. He might need to know eventually, and she was a warrior, a Val, raised to fight her whole life. Maybe she could see that he might want to know a little about what these strangers would want?
If she wasn’t in on setting him up for something.
For what though? Some kind of sacrifice to make the zombies go away? They really didn’t have to set him up for that, did they? If he could save people by doing that, he would. It just didn’t seem very likely. Then, neither did the walking undead. Yeah, if it would work, he was in. Living was overrated anyway.