I would be all right. I survived one asshole, and I sure as hell would survive another.
Except those memories of sleeping in Joel’s arms in the hammock, or him dancing over me like a goof, would pop into my head in attempt to make me smile. And I didn’t want to.
He always knew how to make me smile, to make me feel like a teenager again. Carefree, and in love.
I was still in love with him. But with time, that would fade too. At least that was my hope. I’d given the whole dating thing a try, and it didn’t work out. Time to wait another thirteen years, and collect a bunch of animals. Jenson would leave me for college, and I’d become that loco lady everyone expected me to be.
Right now, it was a future that looked more appetizing than falling in love again.
The two weeks that led up to the convention were like a ticking time bomb on my schedule. I’d been hired to do contract jobs for weddings and photo shoots, and a festival booked for the fall. So things were slowly looking up for me.
I didn’t need Joel Kline to get me jobs on the movie set. I had done them before, and I would keep earning my way.
Jenson and I spent the week in San Diego for the convention. He wanted to dress up as his favorite character, but because it was Joel’s character he changed his mind and went for his second favorite character. I helped make his costume and did all his makeup. He looked great. I dressed up as Harley Quinn, and not the super slutty version. But I still rocked it. With my face painted up and the jester hat, plus a sea of people, Joel wouldn’t find me.
But we were like magnets, always getting within range to make eye contact. He was dressed as the Joker. How fitting.
“Sexiest Harley Quinn in the building.” He found me as I waited for Jenson to get his picture taken with an actor from the newest Star Wars film.
I wasn’t ready for him, yet. I was still hurting, and angry. So I didn’t acknowledge his existence next to me.
“I know you don’t want me around, or wanna hear my words. But I’m gonna say this, and then I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the week.” He stepped into my view, and even all dressed up like a villain, I saw the sweet Joel in his eyes. The one that broke down my walls.
“I never cheated on you. I was upset about how hard things were for you and Jenson, so I took a walk and went to the store to get bananas. Clara, the blonde you saw online, introduced herself to me there. She wanted to see if I would be interested in helping her hospital with a big fundraiser for kids and their families. I walked her to her car, and she gave me her card. I did hug her. That was it. You are my fucking world, and I know you think it’s over for us, Alessandra. But it’s not. I’m not going to give up or go anywhere, until you are in my arms where you belong.”
He finished what he had to say and left me standing there, taking in everything he had said but not truly processing it. Jenson was still in line, so I walked around within eyesight to distract myself from Joel’s long statement. After we were finally pooped from the day, we crashed in the hotel room, and I was too tired to think over my intense encounter with Joel.
We had a different outfit everyday of the week, and beyond that first day seeing Joel, he was fairly unreachable the rest of the time. Between panels, and photo shoots, he was a busy boy. I was still in denial about what he said and decided I wouldn’t think about it until I got home and had no distractions around.
Or so I thought.
Turns out I was unable to fight the fact that I was a completely crazy bitch, and ruined a relationship with someone who had been real with me, for a whole week.
Alex’s words had started to suck me in like quicksand and I couldn’t get out of it. He had scarred my heart so badly that I was starting to understand that I had been looking for an out with Joel. Still not believing that someone, especially an actor, would stick with me.
No wonder I had been single since Jenson had been born. I sucked at dating.
I should have believed him, and let him explain his side of things. Cooled my jets enough, but when he suggested we lay low, I panicked. I couldn’t handle being left again, so I left first. Dramatically.
Now I was stuck in my thoughts, unwilling to make the first move like an adult and apologize to him. Afraid that he would fight for me to be his again. What if something happened, and he ended it? Or worse, I flipped out over something again and he couldn’t take my baggage?
I rolled over in bed and searched for Joel Kline on the internet. Maybe he had done something recently that would make me hate him, and make me feel like I wasn’t a bag of nuts.
And then I see it.
Him and the blonde.
With a bunch of kids and other people at a fundraiser for a children’s hospital.
I shut the phone off immediately and cried.
I was an idiot.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Joel
“Aren’t I supposed to be the nervous one?” My best friend stood next to me, looking sharp in his linen dress shirt, jeans, and boots. I eyed him up and down. His blond hair was like it always was, with one part falling over his blue eyes.
“You look like a hippie,” I told him. This look was so beyond his normal attire, but Livia was obviously trying to dress him up for their big day.
The sun was shining down on Killian’s home in the Keys, and in a few moments he would marry the love of his life.
“You said she showed up yesterday?” I asked, not so subtly. He shook his head and ignored me.
Music started playing, and the few people that were in attendance stood for the bride and her crew.
The wedding was held in the back yard of Killian’s cottage on the water. They had set up a bamboo arch with linen hanging on each end. Rose petals were scattered to make an aisle in the middle,with maybe fifteen people total watching as Livia’s mother came into view in a beautiful lavender dress. She was Livia’s only bridesmaid, since I was Killian’s only best man. His Salt and Pepper father-like figure, Lucas Lonsello, was initially going to be the best man, but he ended up being our clergyman instead. One of his many talents, it seemed.
Livia’s mom gave me a wink as she passed in front of me and took her place opposite of us. She was nonstop chatting with me in the car when she picked me up from the airport. I was very thankful when we pulled up to Killian’s house, so I could get a break from her complimenting me and talking about how my abs looked in my costume.
I know everyone watched the bride as she came walking down the aisle on her father’s arm, but I made sure to look at my friend as he followed his bride’s every movement. His eyes were so intense, like nothing I had ever seen. It was a look that said so much, without the need for words. He was watching his world walk toward him.
She did look beautiful, in a thin-strapped dress that was cut low in the front then blossomed out to her bare feet.
Her long blond hair was loose, and a wreath of flowers circled her head. Her eyes were on Killian’s, with a big smile on her face.
When her father kissed her cheek gently and handed her off to Killian to start the ceremony, he pulled her in and did not hold back pressing his lips to hers.
Everyone laughed, and then I heard a familiar tone. My head whipped around, and I finally found her.
My goddess of the sea was standing in a wine-colored dress that wrapped around her waist then flared out to her knees. She had sandals on that accentuated her tan and toned calves. When my eyes travelled back up to her face, she had her eyes on the couple who were finally breaking up their liplock session to actually get married.
She was radiant.
I’d been so busy with the convention and meetings that I hadn’t gotten the chance to continue my endeavor in trying to win her back, but I had time, and I wasn’t giving up.
Even though I could tell she was trying to ignore me, our eyes met, and it gave me hope.
I gave her a wink and then turned back toward the happy couple.
“Livia and Killian have each written their own vows.”
Lucas smiled and gestured to Killian to start his. I had asked him what he was going to say, and he had only shrugged, so I was very attentive now. What would a man who didn’t speak his feelings much choose to say to his bride as a vow to show his promise of forever?
“‘Say You Won’t Let Go,’ by James Arthur.” He smiled at Livia, and she burst into happy tears. Hell, even my eyes started to water at his theme song choice. It was so perfect for them, and it was everything they deserved.
“Seriously.” She wiped away her tears and looked at Lucas. I handed Killian her simple, white gold ring and slid my hands back in my pockets.
“How am I not supposed to kiss him after that?” she asked as Killian slid her band on her finger.
“Two more minutes. Patience, Fille précieuse,” Lucas teased her in French and then told her it was her turn.
“‘Stay With You,’ by John Legend.” She wiped more of her tears, and her mother handed her Killian’s black band. She slid the metal over his tanned finger, shaking from the happiness that was radiating from her in waves.
Lucas could barely get the words out before they were wrapped in each other’s arms and sealing their vows with a kiss.
Their story was full of rain and sunshine, but they danced in the showers together and found happiness in the moment.
Everyone erupted in a series of laughter, hooting, and clapping.
Together they walked down the aisle as Mr. And Mrs. Lemarque, and I found myself watching them with excitement. They were going to live a great life together.
I also couldn’t wait until I talked Alessandra into marrying me. I would probably be dragging her by her cute, pedicured toes to the altar, but I already Spartan-kicked her into love, so it was just our style.
Speaking of Alessandra…
I moved quickly after the couple and stopped in front of her. Jenson was standing next to her, and I said hey. He gave me a quick head jerk but stayed quiet, ever loyal to his mother.
“Let’s give them today without us ruining it, all right? We can talk tomorrow.” She held out her hand in a truce, and even though it’s not what I wanted, she had a point. I didn’t know how talking to Alessandra about our future was going to go. She could start throwing things at me or we could end up screwing on the grass.
So I shook her hand and leaned in close.
“But I’m still going to dance with you tonight.” I left her with that and helped the couple get into his truck so they could head to the little reception site.
Everyone cleared out and followed behind them, but mysteriously, the newlyweds were the last people to get to the party.
Livia was blushing, and her hair was more on the messy side, when they finally walked in together, hand-in-hand. Guess they pulled off somewhere and put that bunk to good use, consummating the marriage.
They jumped right into their first dance on the tiled floor to a song about taking a long drive.
A song that meant so much to them, apparently.
It was cute.
Then we all ate our food and the party officially began.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Joel
Alessandra was dancing with Jenson when I decided it was time to make my move, praying the kid wouldn’t let me down.
“Mind if I cut in?” I bowed, playing it up, which made the kid smile. His mother was giving him the stink-eye,but like every teenager, he liked to rebel now and then.
He placed her hand in mine and walked off.
You could see the steam coming out of her ears, that her son just kinda threw her at me. Good to know he was still willing to give me a shot.
“Dance with me, Alessandra; let’s not ruin the happy couple’s special day.” I pulled her in and placed our joined hands over my heart. She let me lead, and I began to move us as a new song came on. The perfect slow melody about finding the perfect woman, and never giving her up.
We glided in our little square in silence, but not in anger. She was in that moment with me, feeling our bodies as we moved in sync, something we never had a problem with.
The lyrics were hitting me so hard that I leaned down to whisper the words in her ear.
“I can’t do this.” She ripped her hand out from mine and fled the dance floor.
Not this time, love. I followed behind her with grace, so no one would know I was in pursuit. She entered the bathroom, and I didn’t even think twice about going in there to get her.
“Let me in, Alessandra.” I knocked on the stall door, and unlike the last time we were in this situation, she didn’t open for me.
I bent down and made sure there was no one in the other stalls before doing something crazy. I crawled under the door.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she snapped and backed as far away from me as she could get.
“I’m willing to do anything,” I told her as I stood, brushing my shirt and jeans off.
“You’re crazy.” She shook her head, and I could tell that her eyes were starting to water with tears.
“Crazy for you.” I was a cheese ball, and she called me out on it. But I didn’t let that deter me; I walked over to her and looked her in the eyes. She looked like a frightened animal, but what was she afraid of?
I leaned in and kissed her gently, trying to express all of my words through touch. She let out a strangled cry, then wrapped her arms around me and met my passion with her own brand.
“I’m sorry; I don’t think I can do this again.” She broke away from the kiss and whispered her rejection between us. I ignored it.
“We’ll take it slow.” For as long as she needed.
“I just can’t. I’m sorry I overreacted. I just—” She pulled back and ran for the door.
“Just not right now.” She looked back at me and then exited the bathroom.
Well, that didn’t go how I wanted. I mean, I saw it in her eyes that she still loved me, and wanted me. But something was holding her back.
I left the bathroom with two goals in my mind: putting my acting skills to work for the rest of the night so Killian and Livia wouldn’t know there was anything going on with me, and then hitting a bottle of something hard.
We sent the couple off for their hotel room in a painted and ribbon-decorated truck. Their flight to Australia departed tomorrow for their month-long honeymoon.
As soon as everyone left, I made eye contact with Alessandra briefly before turning back inside to grab whatever bottle I could get before heading back to my hotel room.
I woke up with my music blasting from my plugged-in phone.
My head was pounding, and I needed something to wash the nasty, rancid taste out of my mouth. Ignoring the music, I crawled to the shower and shed my clothing in the water’s spray, not caring what mess I was making.
How did yesterday go so wrong for me?
That was pretty much the question that kept going on and on in my head, with every sip of my drink.
I washed the smell of alcohol off me, and tried to find some food in the room to help my sour stomach. I found a cookie on the dresser that I got when checking in to the hotel two days ago. It would work until I called up room service for something with more nutrition.
My body fell back against the bed as I ate, and I tried not to think about anything besides having faith.
This was the part of the movie where the hero thinks all hope is lost, but then something happens—an epiphany if you will— giving him the strength and the knowledge of what he has to do to come to victory.
I just needed my side character, or something to give me a clue as to what I should do.
An hour I waited for my stomach to settle, and the universe to provide me with the answers, and when a song by the world’s top pop star came on, I officially knew I was screwed. This hero wasn’t getting the girl.
Until I listened to the song, and ignored who sang it.
This song literally had my salvation.
Never in my life would I think Taylor Swift would be the one to tell me how to
get the girl.
But here I was, the hero who knew what he had to do.
She was the Alessandra to my Joel, period buddies for life.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Alessandra
“Okay, lift your arm there, please,” I asked the older woman, trying to get my airbrush at a better angle to spray the side of her very droopy breast.
“All done! You guys look great.” I smiled and took the cash from the white-haired woman who was currently standing naked in front of me with only the body paint I had just covered her with. All three of them were naked, actually, but they had matching breasts that looked like dogs and their floppy ears.
I stashed my money in my bag and waited for my next person to show me what they wanted.
It had been two months since the wedding, and I was currently back in the Keys and painting half-naked and naked people for Fantasy Fest. It was like Mardi Gras, but way less clothing.
Some of the costumes were pretty awesome, and even the body painting was on point. It was something I liked doing on the side, because I got to really show my artistic abilities. Plus, I always made a ton of cash doing this festival. Skilled painters that could make people look like they were wearing clothes when they weren’t are like gold here. I had practiced for years to get to this point, and I flaunted it. I was wearing pasties and bikini-style panties, and made myself look like I was wearing a cropped shirt and shorts. I’d gotten so many compliments and people wanting to take my picture.
It was the final night, and the parade was going to be starting soon. Everyone was nicely buzzed or downright intoxicated and ready for the party to kick off.
I always enjoyed the parade. People were very creative, and it was nice to see the winners of each category. I’ve heard there were going to be some good ones this year.
A man with jet-black hair walked by in tight boxers that had been painted over as part of his full-body Superman getup. His swagger held familiarity in my head, but that was silly. Joel wasn’t here. He said he wasn’t giving up on me, but that was a lie. I pushed him too far, and he wasn’t coming for me. Especially not here.
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