"But I can't— How would I—"
"You're going with the episcopal party," I said. "It's all arranged. The bishop will provide a horse for you. And be sure to attend morning service at the cathedral, an hour from now. Joachim will be giving his inaugural sermon, and it's going to be highly interesting."
"If there's a dangerous renegade wizard loose," she asked, "shouldn't your school be able to help?"
"That's one of the wizard's best ploys. By having his gorgos appear on the new cathedral tower originally, he's made it appear this is something in which the school should be reluctant to be involved. By waiting until the Royal Wizard of Caelrhon had died, he hoped there would be no one here with the magic to oppose him."
I kissed Theodora and stood up to go. "The queen and prince are riding back to Yurt this afternoon. I need to go with them."
A smile she tried to suppress twitched the corners of her mouth. "It's odd that you never told me your queen was so lovely."
I sat down again. "Theodora, you have to understand that—"
She gave up trying to hide her smile. "Of course I knew there was a queen of Yurt, even though you never mentioned her. And I'd seen her several times over the years, and I'd certainly noticed she was very beautiful. That's why, when you very carefully never referred to her, I knew there was a reason."
"But there's never been any—" I protested.
"I knew that all along." She smiled at me, amethyst eyes dancing. "When the king of Yurt was still alive and they came here together, she and he were inseparable. Now that she's been a widow for several years she might be willing to start looking at other men, but she'd be looking for a prince or another king, not a wizard. This was all clear to me, but I could never be sure if it was clear to you."
If I had spoken to Theodora several months ago, I might have saved myself a lot of anguish. But then I hadn't known her several months ago—and might never have if it weren't for that anguish.
"It put me in a difficult position," she continued thoughtfully, "because I didn't know if you loved the queen while knowing it was hopeless, or if you'd deluded yourself that you might someday have a chance with her. I would hate to see you deluded, but on the other hand, once I found myself falling in love with you, it made it easier if I could reassure myself that your real affections were already engaged elsewhere."
There didn't seem to be any way to answer this.
"What I am truly sorry about, Daimbert," she added, "is that I never realized, not until I saw you sitting with your royal court yesterday, that you'd discovered for yourself that your love was hopeless. For a witch, it's embarrassing to have to admit I overlooked something that evident."
"You mean— It's so obvious that I had loved her but she could never love me that someone could spot it across a crowded church?"
She gave me an amused look. "Remember that witches understand all sorts of hidden feelings that ordinary mortals—and even wizards—can't know. Besides, I know you better than anyone else does."
Enough people seemed to know me better than I thought they did that soon I wouldn't be able to have any secrets at all. "But if you knew all this yesterday—you didn't say anything about the queen then!"
"Of course not. You were too upset already. But I don't know," she continued, "exactly what happened between you and your queen to make you realize your love for her was hopeless."
I looked away as I answered. "I asked her to marry me."
She made a small incoherent sound. "I'm sorry, Daimbert," she said after a moment. "No one should be refused twice in one summer."
I thought of telling her she could solve that problem for me but knew better. "And I don't love the queen. I never really loved her. I only love you."
She laughed and pushed me away. "Of course you love your queen. You have for nearly twenty years. Now hurry back to the castle and get ready for church service."
But she was wrong, I told myself. I didn't love the queen.
The cathedral filled up rapidly. The visiting bishops had left with their entourages after yesterday's enthronement, but almost everyone else returned for the bishop's inaugural sermon.
After changing my clothes and drinking several cups of strong tea back at the castle, I felt almost coherent again. Among the people coming in was a woman dressed in an elegant dress of dark lilac silk. A few strands of nut-brown hair emerged from under a chaste white wimple. I slipped into the pew next to her. "You look like a castellan's lady, if not a princess," I whispered with a smile. "I scarcely recognized you as my beloved embroideress."
The dark lilac of the dress brought out the color of her eyes, even in the dimness of the cathedral's interior. "Of course," she replied. "It's not for nothing that I make my living by sewing. If I'm really going to go to your prince's coronation, I have to look suitably regal. What's will happen here?"
"You'll see," I said, wondering myself. "Joachim's not just the new bishop, in some ways he's now the most powerful person in two kingdoms."
The organ's tune changed to a deep and solemn processional march, and the cathedral priests filed in, sober in black and white, led by their new dean. When they had assembled around the altar, Joachim appeared, walking by himself across the mosaic Tree of Life.
As he took his place at the lectern in front, resplendent in the scarlet robes that Theodora had embroidered for him, he appeared almost cheerful. No one who did not know him as well as I did would have noticed, for his lips did not smile, and his dark eyes were as unwavering and compelling as always. But his voice, as he read from the Bible and then proceeded to speak of the love and brotherhood that should bind mankind together under God, had none of the anguish in it I had heard so clearly at the old bishop's funeral. Rather, he spoke with both assurance and humility.
"As this is my inaugural sermon," he said, putting down his Bible, "I would like to address to you, my people, a special request." This, I thought, was where his plan began. I remembered clearly now: he had said he would lure the wizard out of hiding through an idea planted in his first sermon.
But Joachim's next words were entirely unexpected. "For too long there has been at best an uneasy truce, if not indeed outright enmity, between the Church and organized wizardry. While I am bishop of the kingdoms of Yurt and Caelrhon, I would like to see this stop."
Theodora looked at me from under raised brows, and I thought I heard an uneasy shuffling from where the cathedral priests were sitting.
"There has been talk, groundless talk, of the wizards' school seeking to infiltrate all aspects of life in the western kingdoms, of abrogating the authority of lords and even of kings." I gave the royal princes of Caelrhon a quick glance to see how they were taking it. It was their turn to shift uncomfortably in the pew.
"This talk was started by someone who is an enemy of the people of our two kingdoms! Unfortunately it has been picked up, both by some laymen who may be in the congregation today and by some officers within the Church. As of today, I want this foolishness to cease." Joachim looked at all of us with burning eyes, and his voice rose clear in the silent cathedral. "Priests and wizards need to work together, beginning at once."
This was starting to sound dangerously like heresy to me. I wondered what the bishop of the great City would say when he heard about it; relations between his cathedral and the nearby wizards' school had always been strained. I had been hoping Joachim would be bishop for forty more years; at this rate, he might not last forty more days.
"These rumors against wizards were started as a smokescreen," Joachim continued, "to try to force a wedge between institutionalized wizardry and organized religion, between the wizards and the people they serve with their magic." I did my best not to look like a wizard. "Once this wedge was in place, the enemy of all our people, inspired by the devil, was planning to attack the Church! He thought he could do so safely, because the powers of magic, that otherwise would have come forward to serve Christianity, would already have been driven away. The ultimate attack on the Church
is still to come."
There was no doubt that Joachim had his audience's entire attention. "I do not know for certain when this attack will arrive but it will be soon. Therefore we must be ready, all of us, churchmen, wizards, lords, and townspeople, to oppose it together. I have already spoken to the Royal Wizard of Yurt, who has pledged his support." He caught my eye for one second. "But I also have a task for the dukes and counts and for the castellans and manorial lords who are here.
"Yesterday, on the day that I was elected, you all laid your swords on the altar in symbol of your pledged service to the Church. I ask you now to fulfill that pledge! Next week I must be away from the city for a few days, to attend the coming of age of the young king of Yurt. The royal family of Caelrhon will also be there. I now fear that someone will take advantage of our absence to stage an assault on this church. You will all remember with horror the outrageous attack at the time of the old bishop's funeral, when one brave wizard was able to save us." He did not try to catch my eye this time, which was just as well. "This time the attack may be even worse, and that wizard will be in Yurt, with me, and unable to come to the rescue.
"Therefore! I want all of you to be ready, priests with your prayers, magicians with your spells, and the lords of men with your swords. I do not know if there will be another monster as we had before, or even a flock of monsters. But with the help of God, the attack will be averted."
He stepped then from behind the lectern to bless the congregation, as calmly as though he had not just offered the olive-branch of peace to institutionalized wizardry. As the congregation rose, rather shakily, for the final hymn, I thought he had managed well something I had had trouble with myself, even in talking to him: he had issued a warning against a magical attack without warning against magic.
He disappeared out the side door of the church as the organ notes died away, and the congregation, buzzing with rapid conversation, poured out the great front doors into the muddle of the construction site. Now that I had heard his plan, I did not like it at all. I found myself glancing up at the sky as Theodora and I passed through the doors and wondered if I would ever again be able to come out of an important service in the cathedral without looking for monsters.
"You told me the bishop's first sermon would be highly interesting," said Theodora, looking at me as though not sure whether to smile, "and you were certainly right. He spoke as though—as though he didn't care what anyone would think, either the people here or the rest of the Church."
I shook my head. "I don't think he does," I answered absently. "He answers to God and to his conscience, and it may not even occur to him that most people also answer to the opinions of others." I took a deep breath. "Come with me," I said. "I have to talk to him."
PART EIGHT - COMING OF AGE
I
The narrow street behind the cathedral was full of priests. They looked up in surprise as we approached, then resumed their conversations behind us. I tried to decide if they were making negative comments about Joachim, but as far as I could tell they were wondering what they could do to keep his respect.
When I knocked at the episcopal palace, the acolyte who answered first tried to make us go away, saying the bishop was busy and that we should present ourselves and whatever business we had to the priest who would be on duty at the cathedral office in mid-afternoon. When I showed no signs of leaving, he gestured to someone I could not see for reinforcements.
But then I heard Joachim's voice from within. "Is that the wizard? Send him in, and bring more tea."
The acolyte fell back, defeated, and Joachim's silent servant led us into the dining room. The bishop, still dressed in scarlet, sat at breakfast.
He rose and came forward to greet us. Theodora, abashed, knelt to kiss his ring. As she rose again, he took her by the shoulders and looked at her face. "Theodora," he said. "I am delighted to meet you properly at last. I've seen you often before, of course, but I never knew your name. Isn't this your embroidery on my sleeves?"
I hoped that Theodora realized that Joachim never said that he was delighted to meet someone unless he meant it. He brought up chairs for us, dismissed the servants, and poured us tea.
"Is that what you had in mind," he asked me, spreading jam on his toast, "when you said you wanted priests and wizards to stop distrusting each other?" He spoke soberly, but something about the angle of his eyebrows made me think he was enjoying himself.
"I hope you understood what you've just done," I said darkly. "Talking about how the city of Caelrhon needed to be defended didn't fool anybody. You dared the renegade wizard to attack you next week in Yurt, using yourself as bait to draw him out!" This was, after all, Joachim's own plan, and I knew he would sacrifice himself quite willingly if he thought it necessary. "And after putting yourself in danger like that, you then decided to preach on harmony between wizardry and the Church?"
"If there are important thoughts and attitudes that need to be changed, one should start changing them at once," he replied calmly.
"You certainly got the attention of your cathedral priests. They're standing out in the street wondering what they should now do differently—even Norbert, I'm sure. With someone else, they might have balked at the idea of becoming friends with the wizards, but they're too much in awe of you to do anything but agree."
"They're not in awe of me," said Joachim casually, and with what I thought was a thorough lack of insight, "just of the authority of my office." He started to refill our teacups and looked concerned that mine was still full, though Theodora had retreated from the conversation by sipping hers.
"But how about the other bishops?" I demanded. "They won't be in awe of your office. Aren't they going to reprimand you for heresy?" At this rate, I thought, he might not even live long enough to be reprimanded.
Joachim cocked his head at me as though wondering what I meant. "I said nothing that could possibly be considered heresy. I only preached the brotherhood of mankind and told everyone that I wanted unfounded and untrue rumors to stop." He broke into an unexpected smile. "There are advantages to being in the Church rather than connected to your wizards' school. We don't have the central organization you do; there isn't a Master like the Master of your school to whom I have to answer." There was no doubt about it, he was enjoying himself. "Bishops in council can of course discipline erring brethren, but no one could possibly call a council against me for urging priests and wizards to serve God's purpose together."
Considering how reluctant he had been to be elected bishop, I thought, he was not at all reluctant to exercise the authority of his position once he had it. "But how about you?" I persisted. "You've certainly told me enough times over the years how inferior magic is to religion."
He gave me a long look from eyes in which a glint of humor lurked. "It is, of course," he said. "But I've probably been too dismissive. After all, even wizards—strange as this concept may seem to you—are the children of God."
I shouldn't waste my time worrying about priests and bishops reacting to the new bishop of Caelrhon. Joachim as bishop might be hard for me to deal with. I gave up the effort and laughed. "All right, Joachim. I can tell your own personal safety is much lower on your list of concerns than it is on mine. I'll try to protect you. I have to get back to Yurt now, but I'll see you there very soon."
"And you'll be riding up with our party, I believe?" Joachim said to Theodora, who had been too overcome by the honor of drinking tea with the bishop to say anything. "Good. We shall be able to talk properly then." He rose. "I do indeed have a lot I need to do, but I have an advantage that makes many things easier for me now than when I was dean." The glint was back in his dark eyes. "I have a dean to help me!"
But before letting us out he rested a hand gravely on Theodora's head. "Bless you, my daughter," he said, "and the child that you carry."
"So you did tell him everything," said Theodora. I walked with her through the city streets to her house. It wasn't exactly an accusation, but from someone who valued h
er privacy as much as she did it was also not an endorsement of my night-long conversation at the bishop's palace.
"I already told you that," I said. "I had to tell him I was going to be a father because he wouldn't have let me go until he found out why I was so upset." Although I had said highly insulting things to her just the day before, I now felt I had to phrase it diplomatically. "You did rather manipulate me, you know. But there are all sorts of things the bishop still doesn't know about you. You can tell him yourself that you're a witch, to keep him amused during your long ride to Yurt together."
She looked at me as though wondering if I was serious. "You don't seem very respectful toward the bishop."
"Of course not. Even if we're going to start working together now, I'm afraid my habits of disrespect toward the organized Church are too deeply ingrained to change."
She started to smile in spite of herself. "I used to think it was a shame there weren't more wizards like you. Now I'm beginning to think it's just as well."
"Many wizards would agree," I replied. "But I must say I find it disturbing that you're always teasing me but treat Joachim with awe. After all, we were at Yurt together for years, and we're the same age."
She shook her head, still smiling. "You two may have once been the same age, but you've stayed the same while he's twenty years older. And he isn't royal chaplain of Yurt anymore—he's the bishop."
As we walked, I kept glancing at her out of the corner of my eye, wondering if I dared ask her again to marry me. The picture of standing with her before Joachim to be married was so intensely real that I could not let myself believe it might never happen. But if I asked her too often it would become nothing but a joke between us, which she at any rate would never take seriously.
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