by Sienna Evans
Celeste had to be there by now. I could picture her, eagerly looking around for me—shifting from one leg to the other.
“What are you doing here?”
Not again! I knew that voice and it’s owner was unrelenting!
“Did you think you could get away that easily, little brother, did you?” I swear, this guy has always believed he was a legend.
“You don’t have anything better to do than harass me, Brendan?” I shrugged, squaring off in front of him. Our friendship deteriorated over the years, but it was to be expected. When you’re the black sheep of your family, there’s nothing, no hope or a single chance of being accepted into the fold...ever. I’d accepted my faith. I only wish Brendan had too.
“Little brother—”
“You got one more little brother to do,” I stated through clenched teeth. Unlike only minutes ago when I’d calmed my nerves, my entire body was tense all over again. My veins now throbbed at my temples.
Brendan laughed, sort of like a chuckle. It was the most asshole-ish, the most pain in the ass thing, the most…the most Brendan thing to do!
“I’m just screwing with you. Can’t I do that, at least.” I stood there, watching the only brother I had inch closer to me. Truthfully, the connection was clear and anyone could see we were related. I had a slightly bigger build—probably looked that way because I was taller. Brendan, on the other hand, was slender and seemingly agile. “Letting your hair grow out, Grey?”
“And I see, you got the cop chop…” His was cut low.
“Why didn’t you let me know you were coming?” His eyes shifted down, shoulders slumping. “We could get a few drinks.”
“Nah, I’m not there with you, Bren.”
“Still brothers. I don’t care how far you go or how much you try to deny your family, you’re a Michaels!” He tensed, tugging on the sleeve of his button-down. After clearing his throat, he kicked at the ground and gave me his back.
All around us, the air seemed to stand at ease. Car horns blew in the distance. Voices became whispers in the distance. There was a bit of peace surrounding up though. And suddenly, with Celeste less than a mile away from where I’d chosen to park, I realized I didn’t belong here. But she made me want to be here, even when I knew there was probably no chance of living the American Dream with her.
“How is life, Grey?” He still hadn’t turned around.
My life. My business. Instead I asked, “Everyone okay?”
“Oh, our parents? You’re asking about mom and dad?” Brendan snapped without turning back around to face me again.
I nodded like he could see me. Squinting up, I caught the glare of a nearby streetlight. My eyes burned.
He spun. “Feeling like crap, huh?”
I could’ve explained why I’d chosen to run the pad of my thumb across my face in that moment. I could’ve even tried to make something up. I could’ve told him the truth and confessed that the day they allowed me to get dragged away on some BS was the day I’d given up on this whole ideal of family. But I didn’t. I bit down hard on my lips because nothing good would come out of me opening up to the hurt all over again.
“Everyone still asks for you,” Brendan stated as a matter of fact, taking a step forward with his right leg. It didn’t miss me, how comfortable he was with bringing the family thing to me. “Ma just makes up excuses.”
“Excuses? You guys don’t need to lie for me. Tell them I’m on a different level. Tell them I’m filth! Tell them that my life is a consequence of the decisions my family made.”
“Grey…”
“No Brendan, I don’t want to hear anything!” The words echoed in my ears. I was still young enough, yet I’d carried more than any one person should have to carry. All this, while Brendan got to live like a king. “Oh, and congratulations on making detective.”
He didn’t reply; instead, he turned and walked away. There was nothing else to be said. We were brothers, yeah. Grew up close, along with the same friends—same best friend too. Same mother and father. Our community helped raise the both of us. But then our bond crumbled. Everything changed. And now, no one really cared two shits about me. The only reason they asked about Greyson Michaels was to mark the downward spiral they believed my life would eventually take.
I leaned back on the hood of the Mustang. Brendan’s Denali silently rolled off. A few minutes away, my reason for being in the city was awaiting me. If they ever knew Celeste was communicating with me, much less going out like this, they would ex-communicate her.
Seriously, Grey? Can you really do this to her? Can you really drive a wedge between Celeste and her entire world?
No matter how much I’ve felt for her since day one, I couldn’t find a reason to ignore the obvious. It was glaring, bright as day and there was no getting around the fact that I was never and probably will never be good enough for Celeste Morgan. But since I made it this far, I’ll still go and remind myself of who she is and who I will always be.
So, I took my time getting to the restaurant. The streets were full of people, streetlights showcasing everyone else’s happiness. I felt out of place like I was playing a role, a role I didn’t belong in because I wasn’t made to be part of a Chick Lit or Romantic Comedy. My life was Suspense, Action, Mystery or Thriller.
Who was I kidding?
I spun around, prepared to deny myself the one thing I’ve always dreamt of. I couldn’t drag her into me and this life. As I prepared to leave, I nearly bumped into a couple. They were forced to let go of each other’s hands as I walked between them. “Excuse Me,” I said before adding, “Sorry.” I buried my head down as hair blew into my face. Shoving my hands into my pockets, I stood at the corner of the block, knowing that I would be disappointing her again.
“Grey!”
I was terrified. My heart pounded against my chest, but I didn’t look up right away.
“Grey!”
It was her voice calling out my name, her rhythm, and she was making her presence known. Slowly lifting my head and turning on my heel, Celeste came into view. She was standing under a light, inches away from the entrance to the restaurant. Like a beacon, I found myself being pulled to her. I couldn’t walk away now that she’s seen me—now that I’ve seen her. So, I keep going until we were face to face and the outside world was blocked out.
“Hi beautiful,” my heart whispered.
“Grey, were you leaving?” Celeste’s eyes were wide, filled with tears she was fighting to hold onto.
I lifted my hand to touch her cheek, but she pulled away. “What’s wrong?” I mumbled.
“Were you honestly getting ready to leave me out here?” Folding one arm over the other like she was cold, even when it was warm out and there wasn’t even a breeze, she shivered.
Gazing down at her, my emotions were fully exposed as I suffocated under her spell, I could honestly say, “No, I don’t think I could.”
Celeste
“Celeste, you’re shaking. What’s wrong?” Grey cocked his head sideways.
“Umm, nothing,” I lied, nibbling on my bottom lip. I didn’t want to spoil the evening with him as it was just getting started. So, I shook my head from side to side, releasing the remaining ounce of worry. The event at the train station was irrelevant. Part of the past. My time with Greyson was here. Now. Present.
Tipping up on my toes, I tilted my head to the left and awaited the feel of his lips caressing my skin. Life had passed me by for the past several months, and now with him, I could slow down and just be. My eyelashes drifted down as we held still.
His hands reached around my waist, slowly, gently. We were in our own love story, and it was playing in slow motion. Warmth and electricity wrapped around us. Ummm... I didn’t pull back; neither did he. Not yet.
I inhaled a refreshing cologne so deeply that the space swayed. My limbs were weak and full of life, desperate and bold—completely contradictory. We held the embrace for more than a minute, when a customer stepped out of the restauran
t and we were forced further into each other’s arms. He held me tighter, and I allowed it a little longer before we broke apart to go inside.
Grey reached for the door and held it open for me. This wasn’t the first time he’s come to visit me in New York. It’s been a regular thing. But this time. This time, I don’t know what changed.
“Table for two,” I said, holding up my pointer and middle fingers. “Something away from everyone.”
We followed the hostess; Grey walked, I floated and tried to force my head out of the clouds. Actually, I don’t even know how I made it from one place to the other. One second we were standing, the next I was sitting across from him. The hostess set us up in a booth, right at the window, on a half-circle seating, enough to hold four adults.
“You look amazing,” Greyson said, pulling me out from the inner musings. “You never disappoint,” he added as a tease.
My soul settled in. A load lifted as I allowed his presence to breathe new life into me. I started to reach for his hand, right at the wrist, where a sword tattoo called out my name, but forced myself to resist. I then rested my right palm on his left side chest, along the outline of tight muscles packed beneath his shirt. It was a way of pledging my love to him and seeking his in return.
We were seated on peach-colored seats in a spacious booth, in a corner close to the storefront windows. The lighting was dim and romantic.
Deep breaths, CeCe. This is nothing new.
“Ummm...” I cleared my throat, paused, and half-smiled. From the corner of my eyes, I saw a sly sort of grin creep across his lips. In return, I had no choice but to lick mine.
“Celeste Morgan...” His tongue caressed my name. He continued to tease by running his fingers through his hair like he was pulling a big comb all the way back. He then shook his head enough that chestnut strands fanned down into his eyes.
I cleared my throat again as our waitress appeared. We tore focus away from each other to acknowledge her.
“Welcome to Virginia’s. I’m Stephanie, your server for the evening.” She had slick black hair pulled into a ponytail. Puffy lips spread wide as the girl flashed every tooth in her mouth at Greyson, like I wasn’t sitting right there. She then added, “Here are your menus.”
“Thanks Stephanie,” he politely replied.
And she, this girl who knew nothing about this man I’ve been enthralled with for ages, winked and said, “No, thank you.”
“We’ll let you know when we’re ready to order,” I tossed out coldly through gritted teeth before snatching the menus out of her hands. Crossing one leg over the other, I studied him as my right fingers massaged my temples.
“Attitude...” he stated when our eyes met. “You’re behaving like a jealous kid, CeCe.”
“Whatever! I lost my appetite.” I dropped the pamphlets down on the table and pouted. Though slightly childish, these were my feelings to get caught up in.
“CeCe, you’ve always had a mean streak.” His words stung. They tore into me.
“This is supposed to be about us!” My voice raised. Another couple turned around; the man’s eyes met mine. He gave a judgmental squint. I shrugged. Can’t believe things went south so easily. Being with Grey was supposed to be a good thing. Here I sat in a comfy booth of an upscale bistro in the East Village next to my deepest desire in life, but I was too worked up to enjoy this “good thing.”
“Cut it out.” He frowned, tapping his fist down on the table. “You know I’m yours.” The right corner of his lips cruised sideways.
“You’re practically flirting with the waitress.” I extended my arm in the direction she’d gone.
“She flirted.” He always had a way of staring beyond me, like he was reaching through all of the nonsense to capture my core. “Seriously CeCe, no one else exists whenever you’re around!”
I felt the words, but I also remembered when we were young and every time I’d think something was going to happen, he’d pull away or someone would do something to knock us back into reality. Was Stephanie our reality check? I wanted this, wanted him so badly that the slightest thing made me nervous.
“CeCe, whenever I’m in the city, I spend time with you.” He shifted in the seat.
I sighed and laid my palms flat on the table next to the menus. His fingers crawled over to mine. He didn’t take my hand like I kind of hoped he would, instead, just sat it next to my fingers. The dark swirls of ink on his arms were like candy, calling out my name. I avoided touching him, even when I was drawn to him like I always have been and always will be.
“Yeah,” I whispered; not entirely sure he’d heard my timid reply. “For a few hours, and then you leave for weeks or months.” Counting my breaths, I tried to steady my nerves and hide the shakiness of my chest.
He got up, paced and walked over to my side of the table, instead of just sliding over. I shivered when he sat down and eased over until his arm brushed against mine. It was like a crash, like the energy has been waiting since forever to unleash. I shivered beneath a sporty red mini with straps no thicker than two of my fingers put together. We’d gone from flirty to needy to intense within five minutes.
My skin was on fire, starting from where we touched. Every second mattered. Every breath mattered. Every move mattered. And I was being stifled by my biggest desire. I didn’t want to push him away, but I was suddenly scared as hell. More than from the disaster at the subway station.
Then he broke the awkwardness. “How’s Adam?” he asked.
What!?
“Adam? Now you ask about my brother?” Blindsided! Of all things to say right then.
He blew out loudly and sat up in the chair. “Yeah. How is he?”
I turned all the way in the seat to gaze back into his face. He had naturally arched eyebrows any girl would die for. A pointed nose sat above the most sensual set of lips with the right amount of flesh and defined outline. We were teetering on something major, yet neither of us knew exactly how to transition without saying the wrong thing.
Grey cleared his throat. He actually expected an answer.
“Adam’s fine,” I replied curtly.
“Tell him I said hi.” He tipped up his chin as the sentence faded away.
I exhaled. Only then did I realize I’ve been holding my breath. My lashes dipped shut. Images of the past flashed before me. There we were as kids and teenagers. Greyson, Adam, and Brendan had always been so close. “Why, don’t you guys talk anymore?”
“Nosey,” he shot back. “Should’ve known you’d end up becoming a lawyer.” Replacing his hand on the table, he reached for me. This annoyed me like hell because he was calling the shots.
“You’re not getting off that easy. What’s going on?” I picked up his hand from the table, right at the swirling designs. “Greyson―”
“No CeCe...”
“What happened to you guys?”
“Nothing happened, Celeste Alexandria Morgan. Nothing.” He backed away, widening his shoulders. His jaw tightened while a tiny vein flexed at his temple, leading up to side-cropped, dark hair. He had two tiny freckles that could pass as beauty marks. At first glance, he might’ve seemed innocent. Not for long, though.
And there, I saw something I hadn’t seen in years. “Your eyes are getting dark, Grey. Am I making you uncomfortable?” My lips twitched. His light gray irises had the tendency to get stormy whenever his emotions grew more intense.
“Look, life took us all on different paths, but nothing can change the past.” He used his hands to point and direct, by shifting and expanding. “We’re good.”
“Huh...” My head dipped. I focused on absolutely nothing at the edge of the table.
“Celeste, I came to see you. To make sure you’re okay.” Grey paused. He reached up for my chin and turned me to face him again. “Stay in the moment. Stop worrying about irrelevant things.”
“You’re irrelevant?” I cried out louder than necessary but didn’t care A few heads turned in our direction again, and I kept an eyes on h
im.
He wasn’t having it!
Celeste
“Let’s go!” he bit, grabbing my elbow and rushing us out of the restaurant. I was barely able to grab the straps of my purse as everything danced around us. I trotted behind him. Glancing left and right, I wanted to keep from focusing on him, but his fingers were tight around my skin. And it was so uncomfortable, with everyone staring us down.
I let my eyelashes shade out everything and didn’t open them back up until I breathed in the metallic, outside air. The buildings, people and cars outside were all a blur. A thousand fragments of memories flowed throughout my mind. Not a single one of them had anything to do with our surroundings. It was all him.
We turned up another street and past a few buildings. I continued to teeter behind in multicolored flats. He suddenly stopped at an alley along the side of a brownstone. Setting me against a wall, he took two steps back. Large shadows of buildings and trees shaded us from everything and everyone, except for the moonlight’s glimmer.
“You’re driving me crazy!” Grey gritted. His hands stretched up. Bending at the elbows, he snatched his hair with both hands and pulled. “I can’t concentrate. Don’t know what I’m doing.” Spinning around, he added, “I can’t even find the car!”
“And it’s my fault?” I was beyond frustrated over how I’d built this thing up only for it to fall flat.
“Celeste, I had this all planned out. But you’re so difficult—”
“Then let’s go our separate ways,” I cried out, though the words nearly burned a hole in my throat. “I’ll find my way home.”
“Seriously CeCe, you’re messing with my head.” Drawing closer, he lowered his voice like this might’ve been harder on him than it was on me. “Is this how it’s going to be?”
I didn’t know how to answer. The “it” happened to be the big, fat elephant in the room. I wanted him to stay but if he had to leave it couldn’t be without me.