“It’s lovely, Thomas,” I whispered, still awestruck by his compliment. But being a bit unnerved by the fact that he was holding my hand, I slowly slipped out of his grip. Nervously twiddling my braids, I looked away, ignoring the way he squinted at my rejection.
Reaching the shade cover, I looked around in wonder. Slipping out of my shoes, I dug my bare feet into the cool wet sand and sighed in relief as my body temperature dropped. Being near a wide curve at the coast, a cross breeze blew through the canopy. Loving the feel of the wind on my skin, I held my dress down and spun around, letting my loose hairs fly wildly around my face. “I feel as free as a bird in the breeze. This wind reminds me of being at sea.”
Realizing that he was staring at me, I halted my silly dancing and giggled. “Sorry. The wind makes me happy.”
“I like seeing you happy.” He smiled. “It makes me happy.”
Feeling at ease in the elements, I walked near the tree trunk where the wind was not as heavy and reached for the loaf of bread in my basket. “How about this lunch you promised me?”
“Of course.” He shuffled through his bag. “I wish I would have brought a blanket to sit on.”
“The earth is our blanket.” I plopped down onto the one dry patch of sand near the tree trunk.
Shaking his head, he let out a light laugh and sat beside me. The pleasant roar of the sea hummed like music as we ate our lunch and chattered on in pleasant small talk. I didn’t have any friends and spent most of my time alone, so I was surprised by the way our conversation flowed so easily. He was so friendly and funny and, of course, he was as handsome as a dream.
After finishing the tasty meal, I picked up a stick and started sketching in the sand as we talked. Without much thought to my doodling, I quickly shaped a wave with a bird flying overhead. Noticing that Thomas had stopped talking midsentence, I looked over at him. He was perusing my artwork in awe. “How in the world do you do that so easily?”
Gazing upon the simple piece, I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. It just happens.”
“Well, I like it. And to tell you the truth, I like you.”
I cocked an eyebrow.
He laughed. “I think this is the best day I have ever had, Hannah. I mean, every boy in town knows you’re pretty, but I had no idea you’d be so much fun to spend time with.”
“Every boy?” I questioned his comment as if he had said something offensive.
“Yes. My brother and I, as well as our friends talk about you all the time. Why do you think Odelia hates you so much? She might be all fancy and put together, but you don’t even need makeup or pearls to be lovely. And now that I know a bit about who you are inside, you’ve become even more beautiful to me.”
“Oh, well, I…As far as I know, everyone in town thinks I’m smelly and ugly.”
He winced in confusion. “Have you looked in the mirror lately, Hannah?”
“I try not to.” I lowered my head, thinking of how only rich people like him had mirrors.
“Ah, liking artwork as much as you do, I’d think you’d appreciate the fine piece you are. Your eyes are blue like the ocean and your skin glimmers like the sand where the sea washes over it. It’s rare to see hair such a light shade of blonde, and I love the way you braid it and put all those flowers in it.” He chuckled. “I’m sure you think I’m some kind of ghoul, watching you from afar as I have been, but I just hadn’t found the nerve to talk to you.” He reached for my hand.
I yanked it away. “And what does that mean, Thomas Wilshire?”
“Well, I don’t know. Maybe you could be my lady?”
“Ha!” I let out a sarcastic chortle. “Apparently you have no idea how my life has changed while you were in London.”
“You’re right. I have no idea. All I know is that you moved and you don’t want to tell me why.”
“Why don’t you ask Odelia? She would be thrilled to tell you what a dirty little wretch I am.”
“What? No. Don’t say that about yourself. I don’t care what anyone else has to say about you. I want to hear the truth from you.”
I took a deep breath. “My father fell ill and died shortly after you left for London. Though he left my mother enough money to care for me for at least a year until she got established without him, she squandered it all away in two short months and started prostituting her body to afford her liquor habit. That is why we moved to that nasty little flat, that is why I wear rags, and that is why all the rich girls are mean to me.”
His jaw fell agape.
“Now you know why I can’t be your lady. It’s because I am not a lady. I am a disgrace.”
Closing his eyes, he shook his head. “No. No you’re not. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“If only the world saw it that way,” I huffed.
“I don’t care what the world thinks.”
“You don’t have to care what the world thinks. You’re rich and you have everything you need.”
He fanned his hand at me. “It looks that way, doesn’t it?”
“Of course it does. Wilshire Willows is a beautiful property and I bet your room is bigger than my whole house. Both of your parents are still alive, you have a brother, and well, you never have to worry about how you’ll get your next meal.”
“Ah, Hannah, it makes me feel like a dumbstruck dolt hearing you put it that way. But at the risk of sounding ungrateful, I want to tell you about the problems I do have.”
“Very well.” I agreed to listen.
“Though both of my parents are still alive and together, they hate each other. My father is the kind of man who sleeps with other women on a Saturday night, then blasphemes the unchaste on Sunday morning. He’s a complete hypocrite, and all he cares about is his money.”
Listening to the surprising news with my hand over my mouth, I gasped, “What about your mother?”
“I can only assume she is bitter about my father’s adultery, but whatever her problem is, she walks around that mansion like a stone cold statue. I don’t think I’ve seen her smile in years. And the worst thing about all this is the fact that I am supposed to be just like them.”
“But you’re not. You’re kind and friendly, and from what I can tell you’re entirely sincere.”
“I am. Well, I want to be. But it’s hard for me in that house. They expect me to be just like them, and it is plainly assumed that I will be doing the same thing my father does for a living.”
“You don’t want to?”
He huffed. “Ah, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I probably shouldn’t be.”
“You can tell me, Thomas. It’s not like I have any friends to share your secrets with.”
“I am sorry to hear that, but all right. I’ll tell you what I’ve never told a soul. I do not want to run a plantation. I don’t care if it’s tobacco, or sugar. I have no desire to profit off of the labor of others, and I certainly don’t want to keep slaves.”
Ever so surprised by his confession, I prodded, “What else would you do for a living?”
“No one has ever asked me that question, Hannah. Not once. And I am not sure I even have an answer. I just know I don’t want to do that.”
“Well, what catches your interest?”
“I like talking to people, and hearing their stories… Honestly, I like it down at the harbor.”
“You do? I like the harbor, too. I loved sailing, and I dream of going to far off places one day.”
“Maybe I’ll take you somewhere someday, lovely.”
Taking his words as nonsense, I giggled as he stood up.
Shaking the sand off his breeches, he said, “Who knows what will come of my life, but I only have so much longer to figure it out. My father hasn’t been feeling well, and he’s been talking to me about what needs to be done around Wilshire Willows when he passes.” He helped me up. “Speaking of my charming family, I should probably get back before dinner.”
Figuring this was the last time we would spend together, I absorbe
d every minute of our walk along the shore. We reached my stairway just before sunset, and though I never wanted the evening to end, I understood that it had to. “Thank you for the wonderful day, Thomas.”
“It was my greatest pleasure, Hannah Remington.” He kissed my hand and went on his way. I stood there like a dolt until he turned the corner, and I was so weak in the knees that my skirts got wet in that nasty puddle when I hopped over it. “Welcome home, Hannah,” I grumbled as I moped up the rickety stairs.
Chapter 2
Heartbroken Lullaby
Two days passed without another word from Thomas. Though I dreamed of him day and night, I understood why he could not return. Rather than being sad, I tried to be thankful I had that one day with him, and I knew the sweet memory would satisfy my soul for all my lonely days to come.
As for tonight, I stared out the window, humming a pleasant tune in an attempt to distract myself from the horrifying sounds coming from my mother’s bedroom. Being inspired by the sight of the moonlight reflecting on the ocean, I decided to draw the scene. Just as I dipped my beloved quill in the inkwell, I heard a tapping at the window. Figuring it was but a repercussion of the headboard slamming against the wall, I continued with my artwork, until I heard it again. The sound certainly came from the window from which I was observing the view.
Getting up from my chair, I tiptoed over and peeked outside. A swarm of butterflies let loose in my belly when I saw Thomas Wilshire standing down there with his hat held over his heart.
Opening the window, I sighed, “You’ve come back.”
“Of course I have. A hurricane couldn’t keep me away from you, Hannah. Can you come out for a walk?”
With the thumping on the wall behind me interrupting the magic moment, I didn’t have to think twice about leaving my nightmare of a life behind for the evening. “Yes. Of course. I’ll be right down.”
Sifting through my wooden chest, I found the prettiest of my modest dresses and made sure the cream and peach colored layers were all in place before I snuck out.
Thomas took me to the beach where we walked in the moonlight. This time, I let him hold my hand as we strolled along the shore, talking and laughing while enjoying the scenery. The night easily ranked as the best night I’d ever had, and I never wanted to say goodbye when he hugged me at the bottom of my stairs.
X
Thomas courted me the same way for the next two weeks. Each time we said goodbye, he’d kiss my hand. The feeling of his lips on my skin, though brief, kept my mind reeling in delight throughout the nights to follow.
Eventually, he tried to kiss my lips.
“No. Oh, you can’t do that.” I jerked my face away.
“Why not?” He chuckled.
“Because I am not ready.”
He smiled. “I’ll wait patiently until you are.”
“Don’t trouble yourself. You know nothing can ever come of this.”
“I disagree. One day you’ll be my wife, then I’ll get to kiss you whenever I want.”
“For a fellow as smart as you are, I’m surprised to see you holding on to such a senseless notion.”
“Love isn’t sensible, but it’s brave, and this love I have for you is strong enough to tear down the world’s impossible walls.”
“Love?” I whispered.
“Yes. Love. I love you, Hannah, and I am going to marry you one day, you’ll see.”
He kissed me on the cheek and then lifted me over the puddle. “Dream of what you want your wedding dress to look like.” He chuckled again and then shooed me up the stairs.
X
Thomas romanced me with impossible dreams as the month passed, and against my better judgment, I fell for him completely. He was so strong in his conviction about our supposed marriage that I began to wonder if it might be possible after all. Becoming as close as we had, I knew there was no way I could live without him, but every time I went to the market, I remembered just how ridiculous it was to think a girl like me could ever be with a man like him.
Hiding under my hood, I wandered the aisles gathering fruit in my basket. After paying for the colorful bundle with the money Thomas gave me, I headed home. Hurrying down the storefront walk that led to my alley, I was mortified to see Odelia and Charity standing against the wall.
Halting my stride, I took a moment to get my wits about me. It was getting ridiculous hiding from them as I always did, so I talked myself into pretending to be as confident as they were as I walked by. Intending to ignore them with my shoulders held straight and proud, my flimsy attempt of strength diminished when I heard Odelia say, “Hello there, Hannah.”
Her voice was strangely pleasant.
I stuttered a feeble hello.
With a welcoming smile, she rested her hand on my shoulder. “I just wanted to apologize for my rude behavior before.”
Without a word, I looked at her like she’d gone mad.
She giggled. “It’s all right, dear. I am being sincere. I know that you and Thomas have been spending time together, and I just want to wish you well in your relationship.”
Assuming that Thomas had told her about us and had advised her to be nice to me, I smiled at her. “Thank you, Odelia.”
With that said, she wrapped her arm over my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Enjoy it while it lasts. We all know Thomas is only using you to have his fun before he settles down with me. Good men make wives out of ladies, not alley sluts. And if you have any sense at all, you’ll keep quiet about this affair. For if Madam Wilshire finds out you’ve been putting your dirty whore hands on her beloved son, she just might have you punished before a crowd.”
I stood there in shock as she backed away from me and said, “But don’t worry, Hannah. We won’t tell. Will we, Charity?”
“Of course not.” Charity held her hand over her heart as a promise.
“Have a good day, Hannah.” Odelia flashed me a fake smile. Walking away, they giggled and whispered to each other, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think.
Hearing a gull squawk overhead, I snapped out of my trance and headed down my alley. Though I could not believe that Thomas thought of me that way, I knew Odelia was right about him marrying a lady of her stature. In his world they would be the perfect match. He was handsome, she was beautiful, and their families were both as rich as kings. And me, well, here I was dodging the drunken patron who was tumbling down the stairs of the whorehouse I lived in.
To make matters worse, my mother was sitting on the sofa wearing a tiny red robe, smoking a tobacco pipe. For the most part she hid in her messy room, leaving me alone in the main room that I kept tidy, so I was terribly annoyed that she would choose this heartbroken moment of my life to invade my small space. And worst of all, she was drunk.
“Hello there, Hannah,” she cackled through her smoke.
“Hello,” I mumbled, wishing there was a place for me to hide.
Digging through my clothes chest, I found a nightgown. As I pulled it out, she said, “I see you’ve been spending time with Thomas Wilshire.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not anymore.”
“Aw.” She pouted. “I was hoping you’d marry him so we could be rich.”
Terribly annoyed by her stupid comment, I glared at her with disgust. Her long blonde hair was a tangled mess, she was sickly thin, and her icy blue eyes were now lined with dark circles beneath the mass of wrinkles she had acquired. The once beautiful woman my father had loved dearly looked as though she’d aged twenty years since we came to this island.
Taking a shot from the bottle in her hand, she belched. “Don’t look at me like that, girl. I’ll slap that sassy look right off your face.”
Knowing better than to argue with her when she was drunk, I put my nightgown on and balled up on the floor. Without asking if I’d like to take my spot on the sofa that I used as a bed, she continued to poke at me. “I can’t believe you had a chance like that and you lost it! Now you’re going to end up just like me.”
It would be my worst nightmare to end up like her, and after the day I had I began to dread the frightful future before me. How in the world would I ever make my way in life? There were no answers for me tonight, so I just covered my ears and hummed to myself as she continued to banter at me. To the sound of my own heartbroken lullaby, I finally fell asleep.
X
“Hannah. I’m not leaving until you talk to me. Please, come to the window,” Thomas called up to my window.
He had been standing down there for a good five minutes now, but I had already told him to go away.
“This is absurd, Hannah.” My mother exhaled her tobacco smoke. “That boy is obviously in love with you. I don’t know who you think you are neglecting his plea as you are.”
“I already told you. If that wretch Odelia sees me with him, she is going to spread awful rumors about me.”
“Ah, who gives a shit what that pompous slut says. She’s just mad because Thomas Wilshire isn’t crying at her window.”
“Whatever her reasons are, I have no interest in being stoned before a crowd. It was stupid of us to fall in love, and he needs to get over it just like I want to.”
“Blah, blah, blah.” My mother moved her hand like a quacking duckbill. “If you don’t go out there I’m going to get up and show him my tits.”
“What? Good Lord, no. Why would you even say that?”
“Because you’d be mortified if I did, and you’d get up to stop me. Hence, you’ll work your way to that window where you need to be. This is me offering motherly guidance.”
Shaking my head in shock, I told her to mind her own business. But she stood up. Her robe was already opened and she was but three steps from the window where Thomas was again calling my name.
Knowing all too well that she would do it, I stepped in front of her and looked down to see him.
Uncharted Secrets (Uncharted Secrets, Book 1): Endless Horizon Pirate Stories Page 2