by Cecy Robson
He glides his hands down, stopping above my elbows, keeping his voice low as he stares Hunter down. “You sure you’re all right?” he asks. I nod because that’s all I can really do then. “I’ll stay close,” he promises.
He’s not only trying to reassure me, that rumble in his voice is directed at Hunter as a warning. Hunter keeps his attention trained on Callahan as Callahan returns to the bar. Blakeney’s focus is on Callahan, too, except she’s eyeing him in a whole different way than Hunter.
Really? Really?
She catches me watching her, and offers me a smile which I’ve seen a thousand times, and which I now recognize as phony. Keeping her smile, she motions to the small empty booth behind her. “Shall we?”
“After you,” I say.
She slides into the booth that will keep her back to the glaring group also known as her former friends. For as tough as she always acted, she can’t handle their scrutiny. At least not now. I slip into the opposite side, staying close to the edge so Hunter knows he’s not welcome to sit beside me. The last thing I need is to be boxed in by these two. As it is, despite the open walls, I feel the room closing in around me.
Blakeney smiles. “You look good, real good, Trin.”
“Yes, you do,” Hunter agrees, nodding approvingly.
He takes me in, letting his stare linger as it passes along my body. To be honest, I don’t care if he likes the way I look or not. But Blakeney does, her lips pressing tight the longer he examines my features. A year ago, I may not have noticed her reaction. But knowing what I know now, I’m more aware of subtle changes in her expression and posture.
If I wasn’t so blinded by what I believed was love, and true friendship, maybe I would have suspected something sooner. Maybe. Like I said, I notice a lot more now.
For starters, unlike me and Becca, Blakeney always strove to be the center of attention. She laughed at all the right moments, moved her hips as she walked just so, and knew what it took to snag a long glance her way. Me and Becks, we just did our thing. And come to think of it, that seemed to work out fine. Or so I thought.
“My momma was telling me you did a half marathon in the spring,” Hunter says. “I bet you had to train real hard―”
“What do you want?” I say, causing Hunter to straighten. While he doesn’t scowl, my no nonsense tone does catch him off guard.
I fold my hands in front of me, waiting for them to tell me they’re engaged or even married. It wouldn’t surprise me. They make the perfect couple after all.
“We’re here to apologize, Trin,” Blakeney begins. “About everything.”
My spine stiffens. Okay, wasn’t expecting that one.
Hunter starts to say something, but Blakeney’s clasp to his arm quiets him. She notices my stare shift to where she’s holding him and pulls her hand away. She probably thinks it bothers me to see her touch him. Yet it doesn’t. Unlike the day I walked in on them.
As I sit here now, watching them, the hurt I felt that day fills me once more. These were two people I trusted with my love—two people I’d given my life for. That heart I wear on my sleeve didn’t appear overnight. They knew as much, and didn’t think twice about slapping it out of my hands.
Despite how close we were, Hunter and I didn’t see much of each other when we returned to college our senior year. I was struggling to complete my undergrad requirements at Princeton, and he was finishing up his degree at NYU. He was supposed to pick me up on his way home to Kiawah for Christmas. But having missed him so bad, I couldn’t wait to see him, and took the train to surprise him the morning after my last final.
I used the key he’d given me and very quietly snuck into his apartment, and into his room. Blond hair poked out from the top of the thick comforter I’d bought him as a gift. I thought it was him, until I pounced and someone else startled beneath me.
Blakeney—the same girl who I’d shared countless memories with—the same girl who was texting me pictures of bridesmaid dresses to wear at my wedding!—was in bed with the man I’d planned on marrying.
“We’re going to make beautiful babies together,” Hunter had told me just the week prior. “All you have to do is say yes, and come graduation, we’ll have the biggest wedding Kiawah Island’s ever seen.”
It’s what he promised. But he never meant it. Not when my friend was staring back at me with those wide pretty eyes that used to sparkle every time she saw me.
I couldn’t move or sense anything around me. Because this wasn’t supposed to happen. These two people I loved with all my heart couldn’t do this to me. But as Blakeney gathered the covers around her bare breasts, and pushed away the messy strands of her bed-tousled hair from her perfect face, I knew how wrong I was.
I crawled away and stumbled onto the floor, her stare glued on mine as she frantically shook Hunter’s shoulder.
He rolled onto his back. “What, babe?—Oh, shit,” he said, sitting up with a jolt.
I broke down, barely able to think straight. But I managed to ask what I needed to know. “How long has this been going on?”
Neither spoke. Hunter simply watched me, not bothering to explain or even apologize. By then, Blakeney was crying, too. She stayed in the bed, making no attempt to stand, or reach for me, or, or―
“Trin,” she simply said, half a second before I bolted from the apartment.
“Trin?” Hunter says. His voice is soft, but bringing me back to the moment in one forcible pull. “Say something, will you? It’s been too long, pretty girl.”
“Pretty girl”, huh? Well, based on the way he’s taking in my face and a whole lot more, maybe he means it. Not that it matters anymore.
That familiar twinkle lightens his green eyes, making it clear he remembers more than our talks. I gave this young man everything: my affections, my attention, and handed him my virginity without much thought, convincing myself he was the one. But as I see him now, I don’t really notice his handsome face, don’t care much for those long lean muscles that bulge his arms and shoulders, and could care less about that twinkle. To be honest, he can shove that twinkle clear up his ass.
As much as I thought I loved Hunter, I know now what I felt was about as real as he had been. And he was a phony, lying snake.
“We want to do right by you, Trin,” he says. He chuckles. “Blakeney and I aren’t even together anymore. We haven’t been for a long time.”
To me it makes no difference one way or another so I don’t respond. “We are real sorry,” he adds.
“About which part?” I ask.
My question seems to catch them off guard so I continue. “Is it the lying?” I ask, looking at Blakeney. “Like when you used to tell me you didn’t know what I saw in him. And that I was too good for him. And the way you’d make fun of how his hair always had to be just right. Metro-bitch―that was your nickname for him, right? Even though I told you not to call him that.”
My, doesn’t this seem to surprise Hunter. But no, now it’s his turn to get my attention. Fair is fair after all. “So when you told me you didn’t like Blakeney, and that she was dumber than a box of bent nails pulled from the gutter—and about as warm as a field of corpses―I defended you by the way, Blakeney―and that her boobs were as fake as she was, were you lying then? Or were you just trying keep me in the dark?”
“Trinity.” Hunter attempts to interrupt, but I don’t let him.
“You’re not answering my question,” I point out. “Is it the lying? Or are you trying to apologize that it took you this long to say something—anything?”
I don’t want to admit that my phone never left my side for weeks as I waited for him and her to call—to phone and tell me something that could explain why they did what they did—instead of allowing me to beat myself up and blame myself for something I wasn’t responsible for.
The flowers I was sure would arrive never came. Nor did the knock on my door and the pleas for forgiveness. They didn’t bother with an “I’m sorry” then. So I think I have a right
to question why they’re saying it now, and to what their apology actually pertains to.
“Is the apology for the sex? Believe it or not, I can look past it,” I admit. It wasn’t all that memorable, after all. At least not between me and Hunter. “It’s the lying. It’s everything you both had to do and say to be together. That’s the hard part. I understand making mistakes. I’ve made my share, including trusting the two of you.”
My last comment is like a verbal punch they weren’t expecting. Their expressions steel, even though I keep my face and tone fairly neutral. My words aren’t meant to burn, or challenge them to a fight. I’m being honest with them, and myself, betraying me isthe best thing they could have done. It proved how little I’d meant to them and that my heart belonged far away from them.
“So you won’t forgive us.” Hunter’s voice is terse, but I can sense a hint of disappointment.
“I forgive you,” I say. “I forgave you a long time ago.”
They gape at me, stunned, before smiling with as much genuineness as they’re capable of. Blakeney’s eyes glimmer with what may be the start of tears. She reaches out and clasps my hands. “Thank you,” she says. She searches my face, taking her time. “God, I’ve missed you, Trin.”
Hunter leans in. “Maybe with time, we can all be friends again. It would be nice to hang out, don’t you think?” he asks.
He adds what appears to be an inviting wink, like it will somehow seal the deal. His smile loses its luster as does Blakeney’s when it occurs to them I’m not smiling back.
“I didn’t say anything about being friends,” I say quietly. “I can forgive you, because I want to be a good person. But being a good person doesn’t make me a doormat.” I slip out of the booth and stand. “Y‘all have a good night.”
“I expected more from you, Trin,” Hunter says, halting me before I take my first step.
“Judging by your ‘come fuck me eyes’ I figured as much,” I answer sweetly.
His jaw drops, but he doesn’t try to deny it.
Despite my light tone, and despite that it was a right good comeback, I have a lot of emotion I need to release. But I won’t release it in front of them. No. These two have seen the last of my tears.
I head straight back through the double doors leading out to the deck. Hale snags my wrist as I pass him. “You all right?”
I grin although he can see right through it. “I’m fine. Just going for a walk.”
He raises his brows. “Now?”
“I need a moment,” I admit.
My splintering tone is subtle, but he hears it anyway. He releases my hand. “All right,” he says. “Don’t be long.”
I nod the way women do when they’re trying to keep from crying and walk cautiously past him, ignoring how everyone at our table trains their eyes on me. As casually as I can, I hop down the rear steps and onto the beach. The moment I feel the grains of soft sand slide between my toes, I can’t seem to move fast enough. I slip off my flip flops and shoot toward the left, keeping the ocean to my right. If I keep going, I’ll eventually reach Callahan’s place. And if I walk far enough, I’ll reach the post where I keep watch.
Those old wounds tore right open when I saw them, even though I thought I was long past the way they’d treated me.
The cool Atlantic water splashes along my legs. In an effort to relax, I pause to take in how the moon’s reflection dances along the waves. It’s beautiful, breathtaking even. The problem is, I’m so full of pent up emotions, lovely imagery does nothing to settle my nerves. Nor does the soft summer breeze sending my hair sailing behind me offer reprieve.
Blakeney never saw my pain when the boys ignored me to seek out her and Becca. For all the times I wiped her tears, she never seemed to notice mine. She didn’t care that I was always the one without a date. In fact, if it wasn’t for Hale asking me to prom, I wouldn’t have gone at all. Something Blakeney never stopped to consider.
Hunter . . . when it comes to him, I feel more foolish than brokenhearted. At least now. He made me feel special, that much is true. But when I think back, it was always when he thought his pretty talk and that wink he practiced in front of the mirror every time he fussed with his hair, would get him something in return.
To him, I was that cute, polite young woman from a good family he could bring home to his momma—the smart one who smiled and said all the right things. Much to his delight, I was also the woman who never denied him sex, driven to please him anyway he wanted.
I roll my eyes. Too bad that pleasing wasn’t reciprocated.
A thought occurs to me as I thread my fingers through my hair. Regardless of what they did, and how badly it affected me, something really good came of it.
I met Callahan.
If I was still seeing Hunter, I never would have flirted with him, much less kissed him. In fact, I would have missed out on every moment I’ve shared with him.
How is it possible I’m only meeting this amazing man now—when I have such little time left?—And how is it fair that I’m getting to know him here, when I could be halfway across the globe in another two months?
I glance over my shoulder. Your Mother’s is roughly the size of an M&M from where I stand, and if I’m right, I’ve already passed Callahan’s place. I didn’t realize how far I’d walked until now. While I think I should head back, my skin continues to prickle with too much negative energy, and way too much angst.
It was an awful day that had taken a turn for worse. But as the waves continue to drench my shins, I’m reminded that my days on Kiawah are numbered. I kick at the water, wanting desperately to shake my sadness away in order to return to Callahan and my friends with a smile. I hope he’ll tell me where he’s been. So then maybe I can admit how much I missed him in the time he was gone.
I strip out of my clothes and toss them far from the water’s edge. With a determined sigh, I race into the ocean and dive in, ready to cleanse my body of all the lingering pain that soils it.
What I never imagined as I broke through the surface and pumped my arms along the waves, was that the pain I’m feeling would be nothing compared to the agony that ultimately followed.
Chapter Twelve
Callahan
I don’t know who this dipshit is, or the blonde he sauntered in with who flashed me a plastic smile. But I heard enough from Trin’s friends, and recognized the hurt in her eyes to figure out what went down between them. It’s one thing for someone you care about to cheat on you. It’s another thing to have that someone cheat with a person you think is your friend.
My hands stay busy mixing, but my eyes are trained on Trin. I’m waiting for this idiot to raise his voice, or do something to upset her. It won’t take much to set me off, not after the past two days I’ve had, and especially not when it comes to Trinity.
Trin’s one of those rare and genuine young women with a smile so sweet you’d think she was made of honey. She shimmied, that’s right, shimmied her way into my life. But for all I didn’t initially want her, found her annoying, and tried to push her away, all I could think about from the moment I left was getting back to her as quick I could. I needed her smile, and that compassion she offers so freely. Needed it bad, considering the news I received the night I left her.
It doesn’t seem right to feel this way about someone I’ve only known about a month. She’s different than the women I’m used to. There’s no denying she’s beautiful, and kind. But it wasn’t until I kissed her that I realized how damn sexy she is. It was like something smacked me upside the head and yelled, “Wake up, son. This girl’s smoking.”
I pour another few shots as I watch her speak to the Stepford twins. I can’t hear what she’s saying, not with this crowd. But that edge of steel flickering in her expression assures me she’s not about to let them push her around.
Either way, they better not try.
“Hey, hot thing. How about another refill?”
The brunette who’s been hitting on me all night shakes her empty
glass in my face. I take it, dump the contents, and pour another few fingers of scotch over ice. I pass it back to her without bothering to meet her face. She slips me a hundred with her digits scrawled on it.
“Keep the change,” she tells me.
She leans over the bar, pretending to act more drunk than she is as I head toward register. “You going to tell me your name, cowboy?” she asks. Her fingers trail down her low cut shirt, giving it a hard yank to the side.
I don’t bother to look at what she’s flashing, slapping the change down in front of her. “No ma’am. I’m not,” I answer.
I start to move toward the next customer when Trin passes in front of me. Her walk seems off, like she’s working to slow her steps and not run. I lean over the bar to make sure she’s not crying. And that she makes it to her friends okay.
Hale stops her. I can’t see her face, but I see his just fine. He frowns, his is expression split between worry and anger. I think he’s trying to coax her to sit beside him, but instead of taking a seat, she takes off.
That asshole and the blonde leave their seats, rushing to catch her. I don’t know what they’re up to. All I know is that Trin’s upset because of them, and that’s enough for me.
I stomp down to the end of the bar and hop over, stepping in front of her ex before he can reach the double doors leading out to the deck. “If she wanted you with her, she wouldn’t have left. Stay away from her,” I warn.
“Who the hell are you?” he snaps back.
Becca shoves her way in front of me. “Trin’s new boyfriend,” she answers for me. That statement doesn’t bother me, even though it’s not true. But I have to work not to grimace when she doesn’t stop there. “And unlike you, he has a tremendous dick.”
Heat fires his face, and probably mine, too. Christ Almighty, is it a wonder she’s Trin’s best friend?
Dipshit is pissed, and looking to take it out on a Becca. I lug her behind and into Hale’s arms, knowing he likes her, and that he’ll keep her safe.
The moment she’s out of the idiot’s reach, he turns his anger at me. “You’re Trin’s boyfriend?”