by Karen Foley
“Well then, why don’t you give her the chance?”
Holt blew out a hard breath and when he spoke, his voice was little more than a whisper. “What if I can’t make it work? Having her, and then losing her—” He couldn’t finish the sentence.
“You wonder if she’ll be like Alyssa.”
Holt looked away, unwilling to admit his fear.
“Fortune hunting is much like diving for treasure,” Gus said drily. “Alyssa excelled at it. But do you really think Jessie is anything like your ex-wife?”
Holt thought about the woman he’d been married to for four years, realizing he hadn’t really known her at all. He’d never guessed that the pretty girl he’d been so infatuated with had known more about his own balance statement than he did. He had been interested in stocks from the time he’d turned thirteen and had used his summer earnings to invest in the stock market, under his grandfather’s watchful eye. He’d started with penny stocks and, by the time he turned twenty-one, he was worth more than two million dollars. Stupid young boy that he’d been, he’d believed Alyssa had loved him for himself.
“She was only ever interested in my portfolio.”
Gus chuckled. “If she’d taken her job more seriously and done her homework a little better, she would have realized who your grandfather was and stuck around a few years longer. What she ended up with was a drop in the bucket compared to what you now have.”
Holt hated to think what might have happened if he’d still been married to Alyssa when his grandfather died. Maybe she would have decided he was worth hanging on to. Maybe she would have tried to rob him of his inheritance. He’d never know, thank God.
“It’s been ten years since your marriage ended, son. Alyssa was an unfortunate mistake. But don’t lock your heart away because you’re afraid of getting hurt again.” Gus laughed softly. “Listen to me, talking like an old fool. I’m hardly the one to give you relationship advice, not with my track record.”
Holt slanted his father a rueful grin. “Yeah, we’re a pair.”
“The difference is, you’re still young. You could still have a lifetime of happiness with the right woman.” Gus clapped him on the back. “Life is short, son. Don’t spend it alone.”
After his father had gone into the house, Holt stayed on the porch, listening to the distant storm and watching the rain come down. He thought about what his father had said and knew in his heart he was right. He’d always imagined himself with a wife and a bunch of kids, but after Alyssa, he’d never wanted to put himself out there again.
Until now.
Did he dare take a chance on Jessica? She could have any man she wanted. Why would she saddle herself with him, a guy who admittedly had commitment issues? Even if he did allow himself to begin a relationship with her, there was no guarantee he could live up to her expectations or make her happy for the long haul. His own experience aside, statistics were against most marriages working, as evidenced by his own father’s track record. Not that he was ready to propose—he’d made a promise to himself never to marry again. But he wouldn’t lie to himself, either; he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted another woman in his life. Even his ex-wife, Alyssa, hadn’t aroused him the way Jessica did.
What could he do when she tempted him at every turn? When he couldn’t get her out of his head and there was no escaping her presence in his house and in his life? Hell, he couldn’t even take her to bed because if things didn’t work out, it could cause tension between their two families. But what if he could make it work? Did he have the courage to put his heart on the line again?
Chapter Ten
“I don’t think I can continue working at the ranch.”
Two days had passed since the incident in the barn and Holt had once again taken to avoiding mealtimes—and Jessie. She was done. She had no idea how to get close to him when their relationship was always one step forward and two steps back. Now she and Jorie were at Java Time, the downtown coffee shop where they met every Saturday morning for coffee and girl talk. But Jessie couldn’t bring herself to tell Jorie about her encounter with Holt in the barn. It felt too intimate and too personal, and she didn’t fully understand her own feelings about what had happened. She only knew she couldn’t get him out of her head.
Every time she remembered her own boldness, she cringed. She’d done exactly what she’d told herself she would never do to Holt—she’d taken the lead and had practically begged him to have sex with her. It was beyond mortifying, especially considering she’d been so turned on and yet he hadn’t allowed her to reciprocate. That, more than anything, was what continued to haunt her. Why would he give her an amazing orgasm, but refuse to let her do the same for him? She wanted to die every time she thought about it.
“What will you do?”
Jessie shrugged. “I can go back to the restaurant and continue working until I have enough money saved for the food truck, or I can take out a loan and just do it.”
“Seems like a simple decision, Jess. You don’t want to stay at the ranch and you don’t want to go back to the cantina. So go buy your truck and get on with your dream.”
“And leave Riverrun, which means I’ll never see Holt.” Jessie made a groaning sound of frustration and scrubbed her hands over her face. “I’m so confused. I know Holt is attracted to me, but he’s too gun-shy to follow his instincts.”
Jorie sipped her coffee. “You can’t blame the guy for being cautious. From what Luke told me, his ex really did a number on him.”
“But it’s been almost ten years! He deserves to be happy.”
“I totally agree. Maybe you just need to be a little more upfront about what you want. Actually talk to him about it.” Jorie looked at her watch. “Sorry, but I have to get over to the shelter. Aren’t you working today?”
Jessie shrugged. “Gus and Evan are driving up to Fort Worth today to look at some cattle and won’t return until tomorrow. Gus said Holt will take care of his own lunch and dinner, so the day is mine. I have some errands to run in town, I’ll go over and visit my grandmother, and then maybe I’ll stop by the bank and talk to someone about that loan.”
“Sounds perfect,” Jorie said. “Good luck and let me know how it goes.”
Jessie left the coffee shop and stopped at her car to retrieve a laundry basket before she made her way along Main Street to the cleaners to pick up the laundry she’d dropped off earlier in the week. She paid for the three bundles of clean laundry and was just turning away when the girl behind the counter stopped her.
“You’re picking up for the Claiborne family, right?”
Jessie nodded. “Right.”
“Hang on, I have one more bundle.” She disappeared to the back of the shop and returned with a neatly folded and wrapped stack of clothing. “Here you go.”
The clothing belonged to Holt and seeing the bundle made her think about the day they had shared the streusel. She had been so certain then that their relationship was moving in the right direction, and that by the time her four weeks were up, they would be on their way toward having a real one.
“Thanks,” she said and accepted the clothing.
She drove out to her parents’ house, a cute one-story home situated under a canopy of pecan trees.
“Hello?” she called as she opened the door.
“In here, honey!” Her mother came out of the kitchen. “What a nice surprise. I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”
“I unexpectedly have the day off, so I thought I’d come over to say hello.” Jessie handed her mother a covered basket. “I made us something for lunch. Shrimp soft tacos with avocado cilantro and rhubarb salsa. Where’s abuela?”
“She’s on the back porch. Go sit with her, and I’ll bring out some sweet tea.”
Jessie found her grandmother shelling peas and humming lightly to herself. She looked up as Jessie approached and broke into a smile.
“Jessica, how lovely! Come sit with me, child.”
Jessie sat down on the wic
ker sofa next to her grandmother and watched her nimble fingers snap the pea pods. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a million bucks.” Her dark eyes twinkled as if she had a secret. “How is everything at the ranch? The boys came to visit me several days ago and it sounds like you’re settling in very well.”
Jessie looked down at her hands. “Actually, I’m going to give Gus my notice. I can’t even last four weeks, abuela.”
Rosa-Maria stopped shelling the peas and turned to look at Jessie, her dark eyes shrewd. “You knew this might happen.”
Jessie nodded, feeling unexpected tears threaten. “I did. But I didn’t know it would be this hard. He runs hot and cold, kissing me one day and avoiding me the next.”
She didn’t have to say Holt’s name. Her grandmother knew how she felt about him.
The older woman took one of Jessie’s hands in her own. Her skin was warm and dry, but her grip was strong. “Four weeks isn’t a very long time to win someone over, especially when that someone is a Claiborne.” She gave Jessie a wry smile. “Trust me. I know. The Claiborne men are a proud, stubborn bunch. But I know those boys. I practically raised them. They went through so much as children. First Holt’s poor mother died while he was an infant. Then the twins’ mother left when Evan and Luke were just toddlers. Then Emmaline’s mother left and went to New York, taking Emmaline with her. Can you imagine how difficult that was for them? More so for Holt, because he was older. He loved both of his stepmothers and his sister, but his love wasn’t enough to prevent them leaving. Then when his wife did what she did—well, it’s no wonder he’s reluctant to take any chances.”
Jessie sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I know all of that and I get it, I really do. I just don’t know how to convince him to take a chance on me. I’ve been crazy about him since I was about fifteen, but I don’t think he sees me as a grown woman who knows what she wants.”
“Do you love him?”
Jessie stared at her grandmother as she considered the question. “I don’t know. I think so. All I can tell you is my heart starts to race every time he comes into the room. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat . . . I think about him all the time. He’s smart and he’s gentle and kind. I love making him smile and when he looks at me—” She broke off with an embarrassed laugh. “All I know is, I can’t be in the same house with him if he’s indifferent to me.”
Her mother stepped onto the porch carrying a tray of sweet tea and a plate of cookies. She set it down on the table and took the chair across from Jessie. “I believe Holt Claiborne is anything but indifferent to you,” she said.
“I agree,” Rosa-Maria said. “When he was here the other day, he seemed very quiet. The only time he perked up was when your name came up in conversation.”
“Maybe leaving the ranch is exactly what you need to do,” her mother said, pouring each of them a glass of tea. “Nothing piques a man’s interest more than something he can’t have. After all, look what it’s done for your grandmother.”
To Jessie’s astonishment, Rosa-Maria’s cheeks turned pink. “What do you mean?” She turned to look at the older woman. “Does this have something to do with Gus?”
“Why would you ask that?”
Jessie’s gaze lingered on her grandmother, noting the sudden tension in her hands and back. “Because I saw him at the hospital with you, in your room. You looked . . . in love.”
Rosa-Maria nodded and raised her gaze to Jessie’s. “Yes. I have loved Gus Claiborne for more than twenty years.”
Jessie leaned forward. “I saw him holding your hand, abuela. He looked at you like a man in love.”
“He says he loves me. He wants me to return to the ranch, but I told him I would only go back as Mrs. Claiborne and not his housekeeper. He’s been hurt too many times, so he doesn’t trust me not to do the same thing to him.” Her voice was firm. “But those were my conditions. I told him if he wants me in his life, he will marry me.”
Jessie stared at her grandmother, too stunned to respond.
“He can’t doubt her love for him,” Gina said over the rim of her glass. “Rosa-Maria has stood by his side for nearly twenty-five years.”
“Until now,” Rosa-Maria murmured.
“No, no,” Jessie protested, clutching her grandmother’s hand. “You had a heart attack! That’s hardly the same as abandoning him.”
“What he doesn’t know is that I’d return even if he chooses not to marry me,” she said quietly. “Life is too short to turn your back on happiness. And Gus makes me happy.”
Jessie was quiet for a moment, recalling Minna Herdmann’s words at the German bakery.
Happiness doesn’t wait for anyone. You need to grab it with both hands when it knocks on your door.
“So, what will you do if you leave the ranch?” Rosa-Maria changed the subject. “Will you finally start your food truck business?”
“That’s my plan. I was actually going to stop by the bank this afternoon and talk to them about a loan. I don’t have enough money saved yet, so unless I want to wait another year, I’ll need to borrow the rest.”
Her mother and grandmother exchanged a meaningful look.
“What?” Jessie demanded. “What was that look?”
“Do you want to tell her or shall I?” Rosa-Maria asked Gina.
“Your grandmother has been putting money away for you since the day you were born,” Gina said.
Jessie’s heart swelled with love for her grandmother, who had so little, but was so generous. “Abuela, that’s incredibly sweet and generous, but I don’t want you to give me any money. You need that for your retirement.”
But Rosa-Maria held up one hand, forestalling any further protests. “I originally started saving money for your college education,” she said. “But then you got the scholarship to culinary school and didn’t need any assistance, so I decided it would be for your wedding. But maybe you’d like to use part of it for your food truck.”
Jessie stared at the two women with growing unease. “How much money are we talking about?”
When her grandmother named a six-figure amount, Jessie’s mouth fell open. “Abuela! That amount would pay for a college education, a wedding, and a food truck! How could you possibly have saved so much money?”
Rosa-Maria smiled in satisfaction. “I took investing advice from a very smart teenager, who grew into an extremely smart young man. Holt has been handling my money for me since he was fifteen years old.”
“Holt has been investing your money for twenty years?” Jessie exclaimed. “How did I not know this?”
“It’s been our secret,” Rosa-Maria said. “But I did it for you and I want you to have it.”
Jessie shook her head. “But it’s too much. I only need a fraction of the amount to purchase the food truck. You need to keep the rest.”
“I have enough funds to be very comfortable in retirement.”
Jessie looked between the two women. “Does Papa know?”
Rosa-Maria shrugged. “He knows.”
“This is too much to take in,” Jessie protested. “I feel as if I’m in a dream.”
“Your grandmother wants you to have the money,” her mother urged her. “I know how important this food truck is to you and your father will come around, once he sees how happy you are. That’s all he wants.”
“I don’t know.” Jessie hesitated. “Let me think about it. I’d feel better if I could just borrow what I need to purchase the truck, with a promise to pay you back.”
“There’s no need to repay anything,” Rosa-Maria assured her. “I’m just so happy that I can do this for my only grandchild.”
Overwhelmed, Jessie hugged her grandmother and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, abuela. You have no idea what this means to me.”
“Oh, I think I do.” She laid a hand on Jessie’s arm. “Let Holt know the amount you need; he manages the account and he’ll take care of the details.”
A thread of unease unwound itself in her stomach as Jessie thought ab
out talking to Holt. He’d been so remote since the thunderstorm that she found herself hesitant to approach him about anything for fear of being rejected. But she wouldn’t let her grandmother see any of that.
“Thank you, abuela,” she said again. “I love you so much.”
“No more than I love you, child.”
Jessie returned to her car, feeling as if she was floating on air. She still couldn’t believe her clever grandmother had managed to sock away so much money over the course of twenty years. That Holt had been instrumental in helping her to do that didn’t surprise her. She’d known he was smart and he’d always looked after those he loved; she just hadn’t known he was a financial wizard.
Instead of driving back to the ranch, Jessie stopped at the grocery store and then made her way to her little cottage on the river. She hadn’t spent much time there since she’d begun working at Riverrun Ranch. The view from her deck of the beautiful Pedernales River never failed to make her feel better about things. One way or the other, she’d find a way to be okay, with or without Holt Claiborne in her life.
After sorting through her mail, she unpacked the groceries and ran a load of laundry, all the while debating how she would break the news to Gus that she would be leaving Riverrun. True, she hadn’t been there for very long, but Gus had maintained a cook and housekeeper for more than twenty-five years. She would give him two weeks’ notice, but who would he hire after she left? Would her grandmother agree to return, as she’d said she would?
Happy to be in her own small kitchen, Jessie prepared a savory sausage-and-cheddar-cheese bread pudding for the following morning and then made a batch of oversized blueberry muffins with a sugary-crumb topping. The tradition of the men coming back to the house for breakfast after the early morning chores was a long one. Even if Gus and Evan didn’t return the following morning, Luke and Cort sometimes came up to the main house to eat. She wanted to ensure there was plenty of food to keep the men satisfied.
Covering the bread pudding and the muffins, Jessie carried them out to the car. The ranch house was dark when she pulled into the driveway ten minutes later, but the lights were on in the cattle barns, indicating Holt and Cort were still working. She sat in the car for several minutes, unable to put a name to the ache in her chest.