by Karen Foley
Yes.
He told himself sex wasn’t enough to sustain a relationship.
But it was a good start, a small voice whispered.
Her fragrance lingered on his skin and his bedding and he had to resist the urge to bury his face in the pillows and inhale. When he closed his eyes, he saw her sprawled across his bed, her face a study in erotic pleasure. With a groan, he sat up on the edge of the mattress and buried his face in his hands.
He was in serious trouble.
He’d completely lost control. No woman had ever driven him to the edge the way Jessica had. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he’d been so absorbed in his own skyrocketing lust for her that he’d been ready to throw all caution aside. He wasn’t sure he could have stopped had his life depended on it. He’d gotten lucky when she’d said she was protected, because he wasn’t certain it would have mattered to him if she hadn’t been. He was thirty-five years old, way past the age where his libido should override his common sense.
He was supposed to be the responsible one, the Claiborne who followed the rules and put the welfare of others first. And yet, he’d put his own urgent need for release ahead of her. There’d been no finesse or tenderness to his lovemaking. In fact, he’d behaved only a little better than one of his bulls. If Jessica had managed to enjoy herself, it wasn’t because of anything he had done. He only hoped he’d made up for it afterward, when he’d loved her as gently and tenderly as he could.
He loved her.
Being with Jessica had exceeded every fantasy he’d ever had of her, and he’d had plenty.
A soft noise by the bedroom door alerted Holt and he looked up, hoping it might be Jessie. Instead, Sam nudged his way into the bedroom and padded across the floor to push his wet nose beneath Holt’s hand.
“Hey, old boy,” he murmured, rubbing the dog’s head. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
Sam’s tail wagged in agreement.
“Okay, first things first. The sooner we get the chores done, the sooner we can be back here. Agreed?”
Sam lay down with a soft grunt and dropped his muzzle onto his paws. Holt fished a pair of jeans out of his dresser and pulled them on, getting dressed in the predawn darkness. The house was quiet as he made his way downstairs and grabbed a mug of coffee before he headed out to the barns. He went through his morning routine on autopilot, his thoughts consumed with Jessie and how their relationship had taken an unexpected turn.
He’d become so accustomed to keeping people—keeping her—at arm’s length, that he suddenly found himself floundering, out of his depth. Because despite his intent to keep Jessica Montero at an emotional distance, she had found her way under his skin and into his carefully fortressed heart. Far from being able to push her to the back of his thoughts, she’d grabbed a seat front and center, and he’d be dead before he forgot any part of what they’d shared. Every scorching second was imprinted on his brain and his body.
Worse, he wanted a repeat performance.
*
“Where’s Jessica?”
Holt finished the morning chores and walked back to the house for breakfast to find Gus and Evan had returned from Fort Worth. Accustomed to seeing Jessie in the kitchen during breakfast, her absence was both disappointing and disquieting.
“She said she had to leave,” Evan said, helping himself to a serving of breakfast casserole while Gus buttered a thick, sugar-topped muffin. “But she left this for us.”
“Did she say why?”
Gus finished preparing his muffin and carefully poured himself a cup of coffee. When he finally looked at Holt, his expression was a mixture of regret and sympathy. “She gave me her notice, effective immediately.”
Holt stared at his father, not sure he understood correctly. “She what?”
“She quit, bro,” Evan offered. “She was already packed and waiting to go when we got here. Shit, we leave for one day and you manage to scare her off. What the hell did you do to her?”
Evan’s words were like a physical blow. There was no doubt in Holt’s mind that she’d left because of him. Because of what had happened. But he didn’t understand why, since she’d seemed okay when she’d left him. She’d seemed happy. What had gone wrong?
“Did she leave a message for me?”
“Yes.” Gus paused. “She asked for your cell phone number and said she would call you.”
“When?”
“I don’t know.”
For just an instant, Holt felt as bereft as he had on the day his second stepmother, whom he’d affectionately dubbed “Nan,” had left them, taking Emmaline with her. He’d adored Nan, but that hadn’t mattered. His love hadn’t been enough to make her stay at Riverrun Ranch. Aware that his father and brother were watching him, he schooled his features and nodded.
“Okay, thanks. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry she’s gone. I was against her coming to the ranch, but I was wrong. She was—” He broke off, unsure how to continue.
“She was pretty damned perfect,” Evan grumbled.
“I’m sorry, too, son,” Gus said. “I guess it wasn’t working out for her. Although I admit, I’m surprised. She seemed happy enough.”
“Apparently not.”
“If you’re really sorry, you’ll go over and persuade her to come back,” Evan said.
Holt looked at his brother. “What makes you think I’ll be able to persuade her?”
Evan shrugged, but his eyes glinted with warm mockery. “Don’t tell me you had nothing to do with her leaving, because I’m not buying it.”
Had his feelings been that obvious?
“She’s a grown woman,” he muttered. “She can make her own decisions.”
Evan made a snorting sound but didn’t reply.
“Are you going to eat?” Gus asked.
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”
Holt made his way upstairs to shower and change. He’d lost his appetite. He felt the weight of dread like a rock in his stomach. Jessica had tidied his room before she’d left, putting fresh sheets on the bed and clean towels in his bathroom. She’d never done that before and he took it as a good sign that she’d been in his room. He found himself looking for something, anything that might hint as to why she’d left. A note, maybe.
But there was nothing.
*
When the day wore on and Jessie still hadn’t called him, Holt drove over to her house, determined to see her. If she didn’t want to be with him, fine, but he needed to hear it from her own lips. He felt anxious and out of sorts in a way that was unfamiliar to him. Despite telling himself there must be a good reason for why she’d left, why she hadn’t yet contacted him, anxiety gnawed at him. What if she really didn’t want him in her life? The thought was too dismal to even consider.
As if in sympathy with his mood, storm clouds began to gather overhead. The sky turned the color of cigarette smoke and the air grew heavy with heat and moisture. Holt turned down the gravel road that led to Jessie’s cabin and parked a little away from the small house. As he climbed the stairs to her door, he heard her voice and realized she was on the outside deck, speaking to someone. He could hear her, but he couldn’t see her. Not wanting to intrude, Holt paused for a moment on the stairs, but couldn’t help overhearing part of her conversation.
“ . . . won’t go back to Riverrun unless it’s as Mrs. Claiborne. That would never have crossed my mind before yesterday, but the more I think about it, the more it makes perfect sense.”
Holt froze. Was Jessie talking about herself and him?
“You’re right,” Jessie continued, and Holt realized she was speaking on her phone. “I need the money and if Holt is the key to getting it, then a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, right? Wish me luck.”
Holt felt his chest constrict. Did she mean what he thought she meant? He had a difficult time believing Jessica was mercenary, but he’d heard the words straight from her mouth. Not wanting to hear any more, Holt backed quietly down the stair
s and returned to his truck, his mind reeling. He had no idea who Jessie was talking to on the phone, but there was no mistaking her meaning.
All this time, she’d been using him.
He felt sick to his stomach.
He sat for a moment, reeling, before he turned the ignition on and thrust the truck into gear, accelerating out of her driveway faster than he should have. At the end of the drive, he didn’t slow down and was nearly broadsided by another pickup truck traveling on the main road. The driver laid on his horn and Holt stomped down hard on the brakes and came to a lurching stop. His heart pounded hard in his chest and it had nothing to do with the near collision. Jessica’s words continued to echo in his head.
I need money and if Holt is the key to getting it, then a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
She thought by duping him into marrying her, she could also have access to his bank account. How was she planning to persuade him? By pretending to love him? Was that why she had left without a word? To make him miss her so much that he’d do anything to have her back?
Even marry her?
Checking the traffic, Holt pulled onto the main road and drove toward town. He couldn’t return to Riverrun Ranch, at least not until he’d had time to process what he’d overheard. He still couldn’t quite believe it. Jessica had never struck him as a material girl, obsessed with things or money. In fact, her down-to-earth simplicity was one of the things he loved best about her. There was never any pretense with her—at least, that’s what he had believed.
There had to be some misunderstanding, but the more Holt replayed the scene in his mind, the more he became convinced he was the one who had misunderstood who Jessie really was. All this time, he’d thought she was different when, in fact, she was exactly like his ex-wife. The worst part was that he had been thinking about marrying her. He loved her. He didn’t want to spend his life without her. He should feel grateful that he’d learned the truth now, instead of later, but his heart felt broken. His chest actually ached in the center, like he’d been back-kicked by one of his bulls.
He gripped the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles turned white. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this upset. When he reached the downtown area, he pulled into an empty parking spot in front of Kolaches. He had some idea of going in for coffee and a bite to eat but remembering the last time he had been here—with Jessie—made him hesitate. In all likelihood, he wouldn’t be able to eat a bite. A light knock on the window startled him and he looked around to see his brother Luke standing beside the truck, grinning at him.
Holt put his window down. “Hey, what’s up?”
Luke nodded toward the bakery. “Jorie’s inside getting us a table. Why don’t you join us?”
Holt hadn’t seen Luke in several days, but he wasn’t sure he’d be good company. “I don’t know. I don’t want to be a third wheel.”
Luke’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously, bro? Don’t be a douche. Come have breakfast with us or I’ll think you don’t like my girlfriend.”
Holt did like Jorie. She was sweet and unpretentious and had overcome the many obstacles in her life with a cheerful determination. More importantly, she made his brother happy and together they’d made a nice life for themselves, running the wildlife rehab center and a canine training school. Holt wouldn’t want either of them to think he had any issues with their relationship.
“Okay,” he relented. “But fair warning—I’m not in a great mood today.”
Luke laughed. “How would anyone know?”
Holt frowned, but followed his brother into the restaurant, removing his hat and smoothing his hair before threading his way through the tables to a corner booth where Jorie waited for them. She stood up and he gave her a brief hug before sliding into the booth across from her and Luke.
“This is a nice surprise,” Jorie said, smiling.
Holt forced himself to be sociable. “Yeah, it’s good to see you, Jorie. How’s everything over at the rehab center?”
“We had an injured fox brought in last night. She’d been caught in a trap, but I think she’ll make a full recovery.” She frowned. “When are people going to stop setting foothold traps out of season? They’re dangerous and illegal. I’ve already notified Chief Highwater, so hopefully his officers will patrol the back roads more often for poachers.”
Holt exchanged an amused look with Luke. Jorie was a force of nature when it came to protecting wildlife. They placed their lunch orders and Holt wrapped his hands around his coffee mug, hoping he sounded casual.
“Have you seen or talked to Jessie recently?” He glanced at Jorie. The two women were best friends. If anyone knew about her plans, she would.
“Not recently. Why?” Jorie’s attention sharpened on him. “Is everything okay?”
Holt lifted a shoulder. “Sure. I mean, she’s fine, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Luke’s eyes narrowed. “Something you’re not telling us?”
Holt blew out a hard breath. He needed a sounding board but he’d never been good at opening up and talking about his feelings. The best he could do was give them the bare facts. “She left the ranch this morning without warning.”
Luke and Jorie exchanged a meaningful glance. “Why? Is Rosa-Maria okay?”
“Yes, at least, I think so.” He risked a glance at Jorie. “I won’t go into details, but it’s unlikely she’ll return to Riverrun. It’s probably for the best.”
Jorie dug through her tote bag and pulled out her cell phone. “Let me give her a call and find out what’s going on.”
Reaching over, Holt covered her hand with his own. “Not now, Jorie. Later, okay?”
Jorie’s expression reflected her confusion and her concern. “What is it, Holt? Did something happen between the two of you? I probably shouldn’t say this, but that girl has been crazy about you for years. She was so excited about coming to the ranch because she was finally going to have the chance to get to know you better.”
Holt’s mouth flattened. “Mission accomplished. Let’s just say she had me fooled about the kind of person she really is.”
An astonished laugh escaped Jorie. “I know Jessie better than anyone. We’ve been friends since we were about ten years old and I’m telling you she is the sweetest, most loyal friend I’ve ever had. Do you think Emmaline would be friends with her if she were a deceitful person?” She gave him a disapproving frown. “Shame on you, Holt Claiborne.”
Her censure made Holt feel about six inches tall. “I hope like hell I’m wrong about this. I want to be wrong, but I just came from her house, and it sure seems like I was right.” As both Luke and Jorie continued to stare at him in disbelief, he pulled his wallet out and tossed several bills onto the table. “I warned you I wouldn’t be good company, so I think it’s better if I just leave. I wasn’t that hungry to begin with.”
“You don’t need to leave,” Luke protested.
Holt got up and stood there for a moment with his hat in his hands. “If you do see Jessica, tell her I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”
He turned and made his way blindly out of the restaurant. Luke caught up with him beside his truck.
“Hey, are you okay?” His dark eyes mirrored his concern.
Holt paused with his hand on the door handle. “I took her to bed last night.”
Luke gave him a baffled look and shrugged. “Okay, anyone could see that one coming, no pun intended. So why all the drama today?”
Holt shook his head. “It was bad.”
Luke gave him an astonished look. “What do you mean bad? As in the worst sex you’ve ever had? Maybe she’s just inexperienced. You can always work on that.”
“I wish.” Holt groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, the sex was unbelievable, but I, ah, wasn’t in control, at least initially. I didn’t have any protection and I didn’t even care. She said she’s on the pill, but I have no idea if that’s true. I just trusted her.”
Luke’s expression clea
red and he grinned. “Ah . . . the mighty Holt discovers he is human, after all.”
“Okay, you know what? Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Luke laughed, but stepped between Holt and the truck, preventing him from opening the driver’s-side door. “Sorry, bro, but you have to see how amusing this is.”
“Not seeing it.”
“C’mon, you’ve been so determined to remain single, when everyone in town could see how you feel about Jessie.”
“I barely talked to her before she came to work at the ranch!”
“But you’ve been going to the cantina every Thursday night for years. People notice.”
Holt muttered a curse under his breath. “This is not helpful.”
“So why won’t you let Jessie come back to the ranch?” Luke’s tone was gentle. “If last night was so great, why don’t you want to see her again?”
Holt blew out a hard breath. “I went over to her place this morning to talk to her and inadvertently overheard a conversation she was having with someone on the phone. She said—clearly—that she wouldn’t return to the ranch unless it was as my wife. She went on to say that she needs money and I’m the key to her getting it.” Seeing Luke’s disbelief, he shrugged. “I heard her say it, Luke.”
“Are you in love with her?” The question was direct and blunt.
He was in love with her but a relationship based on lies and greed could only end badly. He’d done that once. No way would he do it again. He needed to protect what was left of his heart.
“What does it matter?” He avoided the question. “I was wrong about her.”
“You just told me you trusted her last night. Why can’t you trust her now?”
“You didn’t hear her. How can I be with a woman who’s only after my money?”
Luke narrowed his eyes. “I seem to recall another occasion when you misjudged someone. Before you do anything you’ll regret, talk to Jessie. I feel pretty sure there’s a good explanation for whatever you think you heard.”