by Hope Ramsay
And then Zeph was crying a little and yelling at Luke. And then Zeph turning toward Gabe, who was still sitting there on his backside trying not to think about what he’d just done.
“Did you take the safety off?” Zeph yelled at him.
And Gabe just sat there, because he hadn’t done anything to the gun except pick it up. He didn’t even remember putting his finger on the trigger. “You listen, boy, and you listen good. You didn’t do this, you hear?” Zeph was right in his face.
And then Zeph was talking to Simon, who was standing there looking at Luke’s bloody dead body. Luke’s face was pale, and his lips were blue. And then Simon started crying, and Zeph told him to keep his mouth shut. And then Simon took off into the woods, and Zeph let him go.
And they were alone with Luke, who was dead.
Gabe opened his eyes onto the utilitarian scene of the men’s room at The Kismet. “You never told anyone the truth?” he asked Simon.
“I told Molly. I think Molly told Nita. And I think Nita set this up so that you’d learn the truth tonight. As far as I know, no one else knows this secret.”
Gabe stepped to the bank of sinks and put his hands under the faucet. He let the water run for a few moments before cupping a handful and splashing it over his face. He rubbed his eyes and then straightened. He found the paper towel dispenser and dried his face.
Then he turned his back on Simon and left the bathroom. He had a book talk to give, and he didn’t plan on disappointing anyone.
CHAPTER
20
Jenny watched Gabe cross the auditorium as he returned from the restroom. He stopped along the way to greet some of his readers and fans. But he looked like a zombie. His face was deathly pale, his eyes bruised, the skin across his cheeks tight. He was paying too high a price for allowing the ghost to haunt him.
The ghost was sucking him dry. Anyone with any heart would see it.
When he got back to the table, he apologized to Nita and then allowed her to kick off the program. He took his place at a podium on the theater’s raised stage.
“I’ve been asked to talk about the link between Last Chance and the setting I used in Black Water,” he started.
“But setting is a funny thing. An author uses more than geography to create a setting. The setting of a story is mostly about the people. And I fear that I did a grave disservice to a few people who live here in Last Chance when I wrote Black Water.
“I’m going to keep my remarks more than brief. I’m simply going to make an apology to a person I owe more to than I can ever express.” He stopped and looked down at Zeph. “We have a lot of folks here who aren’t locals, but for those of you who are, y’all know Zeph Gibbs. He’s the man who restored the woodwork in this beautiful auditorium. He’s the man who taught me how to bait a hook and cast a line. He’s a man who used to give me great books to read during the summertime, and I think I never would have thought about becoming an author without his insistence that reading a book could take a person to someplace he’d never been. A better place, usually.
“And I repaid this kindness by turning him into the villain of Black Water, when in truth…” His voice quivered, and Jenny suddenly realized that Gabe was about to fall apart. He took several deep breaths. “When in truth… the villain has always been me.” And then he turned and walked off the stage and headed in the direction of the side exit.
Jenny and Zeph stood up in unison. But Simon grabbed Zeph by the arm and said, “He needs to be alone to process it all.”
And Zeph scowled. “You told him the truth? You’re an idiot.”
And it looked for an instant like Zeph might punch Simon, but Nita got in the way. “Yes, he did. I asked him to.”
“You what?” Zeph said. Jenny had never seen Zeph so upset or animated.
“What the hell is going on here?” Jenny said out loud.
And that’s when Savannah stood up, grabbed her by the shoulders, and shoved her toward the side door. “Honey, it’s now or never. Go on and get that man.”
“What?”
Savannah rolled her eyes. “Go. You have my blessing.”
“What? Oh. Oh!” She turned, took off her stupid shoes, and ran like a barefooted fool.
A filthy curse fell from Gabe’s mouth when he ran down the street toward Palmetto Avenue and the spot in front of the theater where he’d parked his car. Why the hell hadn’t Sheriff Rhodes created a space here on the side street where he could make a quick getaway?
As he rounded the corner, the crazy women on the opposite side of the street took up their sign waving and chanting. The hate in their voices hit him like bullets right to the chest. He stopped, unable to breathe, unable to think, unable to go on.
They pointed fingers at him and called him evil.
And they were right.
He might have stood there frozen for all eternity if it hadn’t been for Jenny, who materialized right behind him. She must have followed him. But why?
She took his hand and pulled him back from the corner. “My car is back here. No one will follow us. Come on, we’re going home.”
“Home?” he said as she pulled him away from the scene on the sidewalk and back into the dark side street. “I have no home.”
She had the good sense not to argue with him. She merely pulled him down the street, her hand impossibly warm in his. It wasn’t until they’d reached her tiny Fiesta that he realized she was barefoot in the middle of February.
“Where are your shoes?” he asked. The question was inane.
“I couldn’t run in the heels.” She opened the door for him, and he got inside.
When she’d gotten into the driver’s side, she handed him her shoes. They had insanely high heels. “I bought those for you,” she said.
He blinked down at them. Then up at her. She smiled. “Not to wear. To admire.”
“Oh.” He let go of a long, deep breath. “Uh, look, Jenny, I need to go. I need to get out of here and—”
“We’re going home.”
“No, you don’t understand. I packed all my things. They’re in my car. I was planning to leave after the speech. And after what I just said, I better get going.”
She’d been about to start the car, but she stopped. Her face was hidden in darkness, which was good because he couldn’t see the impact of his words. Also, he could hide in the dark.
“Where are you planning to go?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” He paused a beat, the silence heavy and cold. “Someplace far away,” he added as an afterthought.
“Far away from me? Or the past?” Her voice sounded tight.
“Not you. God, not you. Jenny, sometimes I have this feeling that you and I are connected in some way. As if there were a string from your heart to mine. And I’m pretty sure the string will break when I leave. I’m sure it will hurt a lot to go. But it doesn’t matter. I’m leaving. I have to. But you? You’re stronger than I am. And I’m sure you’ll forget me in time.”
“Never.”
“I have to go.”
“No, you don’t. I don’t know what Simon said to you, but it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to leave.”
“Jenny, I killed Luke. Simon told me what happened.”
That stopped her. Her shoulders squared, and he was sure she was giving him one of her somber looks. Thank God it was dark in the car because he didn’t think he could bear to see censure in her eyes. “Simon was there when Luke was shot?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened, tell me?”
He sat there like an automaton and told her the full, unadulterated story from beginning to end. While he spoke a numbness crept over him, but the moment he was finished, a bubble of emotion, stirred by sorrow and love and guilt, lodged in his throat.
“I don’t see why this means you have to leave. It was an accident.”
“I don’t want to go,” he said through the knot in his throat. “I love The Jonquil House. And for the last few weeks, even with th
e ghost haunting me, I’ve seen a glimpse of how my life might be full and happy. And I’ve known you, Jenny. I guess the ghost is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. He doesn’t seem tied to the house. I’ll be taking him with me.”
“Wrong,” Jenny said. “Just as soon as we can, we’re going to send Luke back to wherever he needs to go. Ghosts are not supposed to hang around after death. It’s sort of a rule, and your brother has outworn his welcome. I think he knows it, too.”
“Jenny, I told you. I’m going.” He started to reach for the door lever, but her voice called him back.
“Coward. You’re running away because of a senseless accident that happened twenty-five years ago? You need to get over it.”
“How do you know it was an accident?”
She leaned toward him and cupped his cheek with her hand. The touch was so gentle she might have been an angel. “Because you just told me that you didn’t even pull the trigger.”
He closed his eyes and sank into her touch. “The gun just went off. At least that’s the way I remember it. But obviously I must have touched the trigger.”
“Maybe not. And by Zeph’s reaction, someone, probably Luke, forgot to put the safety on. And—”
“But if I’d never touched that gun, Luke would never have—” She put her fingers across his lips.
“Hush. Zeph could say the same thing. If he hadn’t turned his back on y’all. And your grandfather could also blame himself, and probably did. I’ll bet he kept blaming himself for telling Luke to go out and practice. I’m sure he wished that he’d let y’all stay inside and play video games. But all those things happened. And like every accident, it always comes down to a bunch of things, not just one. Honey, time goes in only one direction. You need to forgive yourself.”
“I have to go.”
“I know what you’re thinking: No one could possibly love someone like you, because you’re a monster. You as much as said it tonight in front of the whole town. But here’s the thing, Gabe, I’m strong enough.
“I’ve watched you for weeks now. I’ve seen that way you look at me sometimes, as if you’re afraid to let me see too deeply inside. But here’s the thing, I’m ready to meet you in your darkest place. I’m ready to turn on the lights. I’m ready to love you in spite of it all.
“Maybe I’m too plain and small for you. Maybe you’d rather have someone glamorous like Ms. Ianelli, but I’m here and I have a heart that’s big enough to love you. All of you. Even the dark parts. Even the moody parts. Because those parts are balanced by the Gabe who writes about heroes who always win against evil. The Gabe who made me change my locks two times because he was worried about me. The Gabe who has a big, fat, soft spot in his heart for one gigantic pain-in-the-behind dog.
“I love all those Gabes. I love you even though you don’t like my pie, and that’s saying something.”
“Jenny, you don’t know me. I have so many secrets I haven’t told you. For instance, I haven’t touched your sweets because I’m a diabetic, not because I don’t like pies. Not eating your muffins in the morning required an enormous amount of willpower. And that’s just one secret. I have a whole graveyard of skeletons in my closet.”
“You’re a diabetic?”
“I was diagnosed when I was twelve. Granddad blamed me for that, too.” His voice wavered. He needed to go now and never come back.
“We have plenty of time for you to tell me your secrets. And I can tell you mine. You don’t have to bear every burden all by yourself, you know.”
He wanted to believe that most of all, so he didn’t move. He didn’t try to leave her. He didn’t open the door and walk away. He sat there and let her seal the deal with a kiss. She leaned over the console and touched her soft lips to his. The kiss started out tentatively, as if she was testing him to see what he might do.
He should have pushed her away like the other times.
But her kiss was like a healing balm. It seemed to work its way into all the endlessly aching places in his soul. It filled him up with something golden and pure, like some miraculous elixir. And so he fell into the kiss as hard as he’d ever fallen into a kiss. He opened his mouth and she moved in and blew all his good intentions and deep fears to smithereens.
Jenny unlocked the two locks on The Jonquil House’s front door. Her heart was pounding so hard she couldn’t breathe. This was it. She was taking charge, but holy God she didn’t have the first idea how to actually do that.
It was still kind of amazing that Gabe was here, coming back to the inn knowing that they were not going to say good night and go to their separate bedrooms. And really, she was starting to have a tiny bit of performance anxiety. It had been one hell of a long time since she’d gotten intimate with a man.
More important, if she was crazy enough to buy into what Savannah Randall had suggested earlier in the evening, then there was a boatload riding on this moment. Like her heart and her future. Which explained why her hands were shaking so badly that she was fumbling with the keys.
It seemed to take an eternity to get the door open. She was running out of time to think of something hot and sultry to say that would get him up to her bedroom.
Then, as the door swung inward, Bear came flying down the hall and knocked her back into Gabe’s waiting arms. The dog was probably ruining her green dress with his paws up on her chest, but he was giving her lots and lots of sloppy dog kisses, and somehow that seemed exactly right for the moment.
Because it made Gabe laugh. He was right behind her, holding her up. And he’d used the moment to sneak his big manly hands around her waist while he propped her up against his sturdy chest and hips, where she discovered that Gabe was turned on.
Evidently, he didn’t need any sultry lines. The kisses they’d shared in the car had done the trick. They were some first-class kisses.
His heat penetrated her being and wormed its way into every cell of her body, melting her so that she kind of settled back into him with a vocal sigh.
“Bear. Down. Now.” Gabe could be commanding when he chose to be.
The dog obeyed. And she found herself back on her own two feet while Gabe shut and locked the door.
“He needs to be walked,” she said, suddenly realizing that a dog complicated things. And then something else occurred to her. “You were going to leave Bear behind? With me?”
He turned away from the door and aimed his gaze on her. His eyes seemed even darker, and his look lit a fire in her. “He’s your dog,” he said.
She shook her head. “No, I think he’s our dog.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. She wanted to kiss it and wondered why the heck she was holding back. She needed to break free of these restraints that she’d imposed on herself for all these years.
But before she could act on the impulse, he was striding down the hall toward the kitchen.
“Wait.” She followed after him.
He pulled the dog’s leash down from the hook by the back door. “I’ll walk the dog.”
She didn’t want him to leave her. If he did, she’d lose her nerve. Or maybe he’d talk himself out of it.
She shook her head. “No, we’ll walk the dog after.” And she took a couple of steps toward him, snaked her arms around his neck, and pulled him down for the kiss she’d wanted to give him a moment before.
His mouth met hers, his lips firm and moist and gentle. When he opened the seam of her lips, his tongue proved to be exceptionally talented.
She ran her fingers up into his hair, and he made a noise that made her feel powerful in a way she had never felt before.
His mouth left hers and trailed a string of kisses and half bites along her jaw and down into the hollow of her neck.
Her insides melted, as if some warm being had breathed spring into the desolate, cold places that she’d been guarding. The walls came down. She stopped worrying. She stopped thinking.
She simply was. Alive.
Gabe knew the minute Jenny lost her reserve. She thre
w her head back and let him have complete access to that soft, warm, tender spot at the hollow of her neck. He sucked her in, he tasted, he breathed her. And something inside him answered back. She had unlocked a place inside him that he didn’t even know existed.
That place wasn’t evil, but it was primordial and kind of wild. He wanted to expose it. He wanted to lose control. But finding the release point was so hard.
He was afraid.
She seemed to know that, because she backed away a little and looked up at him, her hazel eyes wide and dark and full of a deep, soul-wrenching kindness. “I have a whole heart,” she said. “I can love all of you.”
And just like that, kissing and touching her through her amazing dress wasn’t nearly enough. He didn’t want to distance himself from her anymore. He wanted to inhale her. He wanted to be a part of her. He needed to be with her. He put his mouth on hers and lost himself.
He pulled her hard against him just as she ran her hands down to his butt. It was a relief to be that close, but still it wasn’t close enough. He wanted to feel her skin against his. He wanted… everything.
So he did the only reasonable thing he could think of. He picked her up. She didn’t weigh hardly anything, and he carried her right into Luke’s old bedroom. She squeaked in surprise and then she laid her head on his shoulder. And that made him feel potent and strong and male in a hot and wicked way.
“I’m liking this. I’m glad your ankle is better.”
“Me too.”
She ran her fingertips over his ear. “Oh, God,” he breathed as the heat climbed up his neck.
“You like that?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh good. I intend to find more places like that. I’m going to winnow out all of your secrets.”
“Yeah.” It was the only word he could think of to say. He was, for an author, surprisingly empty of words at the moment.
“I want to get naked. You can undress me,” she said, as he put her down by the edge of the bed. She put her arms around his neck again. “The dress has a zipper on the side.”
Wow, his little bird was taking charge and apparently wasn’t having any problems with words. He followed her directions. But just for fun, he took his own sweet time getting her out of that amazing dress, not to mention her black underwear. By the time he’d accomplished all this, both of them were panting.