by Zoe Sugg
“Don’t worry, I know,” I say with a smile. “But there’s something else I want to do now.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“I thought maybe I could help people who were like me. People with anxiety.”
Miss Mills’s face relaxes into a reassuring smile. “I think you’d be great at that, Penny. As soon as we get back to school, we can plan how you can achieve that goal too.”
After Miss Mills, the next person to come up is clapping his hands loudly. “Penelopé, ma chérie!”
There’s only one person in the world who calls me “Penelopé” besides my mum when she’s angry with me. François- Pierre Nouveau, the world-famous photographer and the man who made this gallery show happen—with lots of help from Melissa, of course.
“Didn’t I tell you I’d give you your first solo show? But only if you found your true style.” His eyes shine as he looks around at the photos. “And I think you’ve done it. A voice of your generation! Something so . . . uniquely you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Nouveau,” I say, feeling bashful.
“You shouldn’t be thanking me—thank your inspiration! Some of them are here today, are they not?”
“Just one,” I say. She’s the one person I’m looking forward to meeting most of all.
“Well, go, go! And well done. I hope to see you back in my studio next summer.” He flutters off in a whirl, searching for people who might be interested in buying my photographs. It’s strange to think of my art being hung on the wall in other people’s houses.
I spot a girl gazing at one of the photos, her red-and-white striped scarf still wrapped round her neck so she looks like a candy cane. She has a navy blue coat on over a dress with several layers of neon-bright petticoats, and beneath them thick black tights dotted with gold-thread stars. On her feet are classic Doc Martens. She looks incredibly cool but I can see the shyness in the way her shoulders hunch forward and her fringe falls over her face like a curtain. Then she turns round and I can see her necklace: a thick acrylic pendant of a white horse with wings. Pegasus Girl.
She looks up at me at the same time as I look at her. She’s been my online confidante since the early days of Girl Online, and I feel like she knows me as well as anyone—even Elliot.
I walk over to her, feeling as if my feet are barely touching the ground.
“Hi,” I say, the word hardly seeming adequate.
“Hi.”
In one swift movement, we fling our arms round each other, like long-lost siblings—friends who’ve finally met at last.
Girl Online has finally come offline—and it’s just as amazing as I could ever have hoped.
31 December
New Year’s Eve
What a year it’s been! From calculating managers, to jealous friends, and one boy I just couldn’t get rid of. (Brooklyn Boy, if you’re reading this—which I’m sure you are—I’m glad you stuck around like that annoying piece of gum on the sole of my shoe—ha ha )
When people tell you life is a path, and that path is sometimes very bumpy and winding and you really aren’t sure where it’s taking you, it can be very daunting. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so whatever downs you may encounter, the ups will even them out—and everything will work out in the end.
If you told me a year ago that I’d be spending another New Year’s Eve with Brooklyn Boy, I’d have laughed (let’s not forget how incredibly unlucky I usually am). It feels so right—I honestly can’t imagine life without him in it now. He’s become as permanent as the white cliffs, and I don’t have one single doubt in my mind that this will be a lasting relationship. I know this probably sounds crazy, but we just fit.
In fact, everything in my life feels good right now: I’ve distanced myself from some negative friendships, and formed new, healthy ones that bring me nothing but joy. I still have my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, and it makes me so happy that he’s also in a loving and open relationship with one of the nicest guys I know.
I think the main thing that helped make everything better was choosing to work on me before anyone else. How can you be truly happy with someone else when you aren’t in the best place you can be for you? So I think I’ve made great progress this year in terms of my personal goals. Sure, I managed to get myself a photography show for F-P Nouveau, but that happened because something else clicked inside me. I was more determined than ever to prove to myself that I CAN do whatever I want if I really put my mind to it. I didn’t need anyone else doing it for me; I didn’t need the media, and I didn’t need a guy (dreamy guitarist or not), and I definitely wasn’t going to let my anxiety get in the way. Once I started accomplishing more, the other bits fell neatly into place.
After the overwhelming response to my call for photos, I want my space here on Girl Online to continue to be our little hub, our community, where we can all be involved in helping one another and spreading positivity. We can all be part of supporting one another to reach our own personal, individual goals in life; none of us is travelling alone along the path that leads there.
Hope you all have the best night tonight. Let’s be full of hope and promise as we all raise a little toast to the year we’re leaving behind and the new one waiting just round the corner for us. And, as always, thank you so much for all your support.
I love you all.
Girl Online, Always Online xxx
Acknowledgments
I want to start here by thanking my amazing editor and friend, Amy Alward. This book would not be as beautifully put together without her help. Girl Online has been such a huge part of our lives for two years now and I’m happy that it brought us together. We chuckled over cheesy name suggestions, ate far too many strawberries, and bopped along to many a Spotify playlist. As well as guiding me through the writing process, she has been a loyal and caring friend and I couldn’t have asked for a better editor. In fact, I don’t think one even exists!
To the rest of the brilliant team at Penguin who have brought Girl Online to life: Shannon Cullen (my publisher and one of the nicest ladies I know); Tania Vian-Smith (who ALWAYS knows how to save the day—she is the fairy godmother of PR and book tours); Clare Kelly (Queen of PR); Natasha Collie (Marketing Guru); Jacqui McDonough and Becky Morrison, who create such beautiful front cover designs; Wendy Shakespeare, who is also part of my editorial team; and everyone else at team Penguin who make it happen behind the scenes. Thank you so much for making this such an enjoyable and smooth experience for me and allowing me to share my story and characters with the world.
To the Gleam Team: Dom, Maddie, Phil, Meghan, Ange, and my PA, Carrie, thank you for everything you do to enable this to be as straightforward as possible. I am beyond grateful that I get to share this exciting journey with you all right beside me.
My friends and family: you all know how much your continued support and love encourages me every day to carry on stepping out of my comfort zone. Thank you for always believing in me and joining me on this crazy journey. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world having such a solid support network around me. Even though half of you haven’t finished Girl Online: On Tour yet, I forgive you. Just make sure you let me know what you think of this book in four years’ time, OK?
I also want to mention my friend Mark, who I met for the first time at my book launch for Girl Online: On Tour. At a time in my life where things felt a little difficult, he was like a light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t realize I had space for a new friendship until I met him. I was laughing until my sides hurt, dancing in my kitchen, and sharing one too many Wagamamas with someone who was so like me, we could be twins. He recently asked me if I ever realize how much I’ve changed his life. After this, I thought about the way in which he has also changed mine. I am more confident, a lot happier, and so much more carefree since I met him. Hold onto the friends who make you feel something, they are so rare and so special.
Alfie Deyes. The main man in my life. My rock, my world, and my biggest fan.
I love you xxx
Go back to the beginning of Penny and Noah's journey with Girl Online and Girl Online: On Tour!
Penny's blog and secret online persona are threatened when she falls in love with Noah, a handsome musician with a secret of his own.
Girl Online
* * *
Penny joins Noah on his European tour, but is she really cut out for life on the road?
Girl Online: On Tour
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ZOE SUGG, aka Zoella, is a vlogger from Brighton, UK. Her beauty, fashion, and lifestyle vlogs have gained her millions of YouTube subscribers, with even more viewing the vlogs every month. She won the 2011 Cosmopolitan Blog Award for Best Established Beauty Blog and went on to win the Best Beauty Vlogger award the following year. Zoe has also twice received the Best British Vlogger award at the 2013 and 2014 Radio 1 Teen Awards and the 2014 and 2015 Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice award for UK’s Favourite Vlogger, and she was named Web Star for Fashion and Beauty at the 2014 Teen Choice Awards. In summer 2016, Zoe launched her exciting new book club with WHSmith.
www.zoella.co.uk
@Zoella
girlonlineus.com
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GIRL ONLINE: ON TOUR
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 by Zoe Sugg
Map copyright © 2016 by mapsofjoy.com, 2016
Published by arrangement with Penguin Random House UK
Originally published in Great Britain in 2016 by Penguin Books
Girl Online title lettering: Thirsty Rough
Font copyright © Yellow Design Studio—www.yellowdesignstudio.com
Jacket design by Puffin Books, UK
Thistles image copyright © Aleksandra H. Kossowska/Shutterstock; Girl with Camera copyright © A. and I. Kruk/Shutterstock; Venetian Mask copyright © Tomertu/Shutterstock; Heart-Shaped Sparkler copyright © Andrew Paterson/Getty Images
Author photograph copyright © Zoe Sugg
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First Keywords Press/ hardcover edition November 2016
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
ISBN 978-1-5011-6211-4
ISBN 978-1-5011-6213-8 (ebook)