The growling was so ferocious that it sent a chill up Buck’s spine. He'd never heard an animal wail quite like that before. He placed his lunch box on the seat of the harvester and went to investigate.
In a thicket between some huckleberry bushes and a twisted mass of fallen tree roots, he witnessed a female mountain lion, tearing apart a dead deer in such a frenzy of fangs, claws, screams and blood that Buck almost lost his lunch. He sniffed the air, scenting the strange lioness.
She wasn't an animal. She was a shifter. His inner bear urged him to investigate further. The scent of the lioness was intoxicating. His bear rumbled and growled inside him unintelligibly, agitated and confused.
Buck inched into the clearing, his curiosity edging out his common sense. He shouldn't approach a crazed shifter over her kill, no matter how enticing her scent might be. The closer he got, the stronger the scent became. His grizzly paced back and forth inside his mind, angry and growling. The beast’s massive paws scratched against the backs of Buck’s eyes. He drew closer to the lioness, the scent becoming overpowering. All at once, he knew who she was.
“Maria?” he said, coming closer.
The lioness looked up at him, curling her lips back over her bloodied teeth. Her eyes blazed yellow and crazed as she shrieked at him, crouching and ready to pounce. His mouth dropped and his instinct kicked in right as her muscles coiled and sprung, launching her into the air right at him.
He growled and shifted, ripping his clothes apart. He landed on his massive paws in front of her, knocking her back as she attacked him. The lioness was small compared to his own animal.
The grizzly didn’t want to hurt his mate, but he couldn’t help but swipe her away with his paw when she dove at him again. The poor little creature went tumbling back and landed on her side. He recoiled, worried. His bear eyes widened as he let out a concerned grunt.
He stepped closer, sniffing the air and trying to sense if she was injured. The mountain lioness sprang to her feet and screeched at him, ready to pounce. He couldn't believe she wanted to attack again when he could hurt her so easily. The crazed little animal didn't seem to care that it was an uneven fight. She sprang at him and he groaned and turned to the side, taking the force of her impact with his flank.
She bit down at him and he turned quickly, knocking her off of him. Her teeth had broken the skin, and her claws had scratched his side, leaving a bloodied gash. He began to back away, hurt, frustrated and confused. He let out a long, annoyed groan as he took several steps backward.
He held his ground, sitting on his haunches and crossing his arms. The lioness hadn't had enough and wouldn't back down. She paced back and forth several yards away, biding her time and growling. Buck continued to sit there, inspecting her, his arms crossed and his bottom lip hanging open. He moaned questioningly at her, showing her his teeth.
He'd hoped that it would get her to stop this strange behavior, but it did just the opposite. She ran at him at full speed and lunged at his throat.
Buck shot to his feet and stepped aside, turning on the creature with a bloodcurdling growl. He roared so loudly, it echoed through the forest. He put every ounce of strength, will and dominance through himself and into the wild little lioness before him. With every bit of mate bond they might share, he told her, “Shift.”
The lioness stopped in her tracks, wailing and flailing. In the span of a breath, she retracted in on herself and changed right before his eyes into a tiny, beautiful girl; naked, bloodied and shivering in the shadows of the forest.
He quickly shifted and sank to his knees beside her, not sure if he should touch her or keep his distance. All he wanted was to gather her in his arms and take away the that pain had caused her to act that way. But he didn’t dare. They hadn't even exchanged introductions.
“Maria?” he said, sitting on his knees above her on the forest floor. “Are you all right?”
“Saw Bear?” she asked, looking up at him for the first time.
Her dark hair was matted with blood and hung in damp clumps around her face. He felt ashamed to see her naked like this and all he wanted was to cover her and re-affirm her humanity. He grabbed the shredded remnants of his flannel shirt and slung it around her shoulders, realizing that he himself was completely exposed. He slid into his shredded jeans for a loincloth to keep his nakedness from her. Then he sat with her again, careful to give her space.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. “This is my territory.”
“This is Timber Bear Ranch land,” he corrected.
“This is your land?” She shook her head with confusion.
“Timber Bear Ranch belongs to my clan.”
“Oh,” she said and then went silent.
“Why did you text me we could never meet?” he asked softly, trying to catch her eye.
“Because…” she said, as if it was self-explanatory.
“What happened that night at the Institute?”
“How did I come out of my shift?” she asked, obviously disoriented.
“I forced you out,” he said softly, not wanting to intimidate her.
But it didn't matter. He could already see the frightened look growing in her eyes as she pulled away from his touch.
“You forced me out of my shift?” she asked as if she had been violated.
“I had to. You wouldn’t stop attacking me,” he explained.
“I'm sorry about that.”
“It doesn't matter. All I care about is you. I'll take you back to my house at the ranch. You can take a bath and have a decent meal. And then we can talk about what happened to you.”
“That's not going to happen,” she said, looking away. “I can’t go back with you.”
“Yes you can.”
“No,” she said angrily, rising to her full height. “I am staying in the forest for the rest of my life. You and I cannot be together.”
“I can help you with your animal,” Buck said softly as he stood.
“You can't help me Saw Bear. No one can help me.”
“My name is Buck, Buck Kincaid.”
“Well Buck, it was nice meeting you. But I have to be going now.”
Chapter 4
“Wait a minute,” he said, grabbing her arm.
She turned to glare at him and yanked her arm away, incredulous that he had tried to stop her. The lioness growled behind her eyes almost constantly. She hissed and snarled at Buck’s touch. Maria deflated, her need and vulnerability battling with the inner beast's refusal to accept human contact.
“Sorry,” she said, seeing his face falling.
She hated that she had to do this to him, but she didn't have a choice. Buck was a good man. It was written all over him. He didn't deserve to be stuck with an animal like her. She knew it was best for everyone if she just made him leave her alone.
“I just don't like to be touched anymore.”
“At least show me where you're staying,” he pleaded.
She turned back to him and looked up into his eyes. She could see his pain and need. His protectiveness rolled off him in waves. It made her beast recoil, but it made the woman in her feel weak in the knees. She needed him so very much. She couldn't let him close, or she would destroy them both.
“Okay, I'll show you where I live, but you have to leave right after that,” she said.
“Fair enough.”
She nodded her head at him once and started down the trail. She walked the rest of the way to her cave with Buck's shirt draping down her sides and hitting just above her knees. It reminded her of what a big man he was. It smelled of him too. His scent was just making her even more confused.
His grizzly was bigger than her lion and he had somehow forced her out of her shift. She could remember those last few seconds before she’d come out of her lion form. She remembered the look in Buck’s grizzly's eyes and the feeling of his power rolling over her, forcing her out of her animal form. It had been such a visceral force on her beast that she had been powerless to resist.<
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She hated that he had more power over her animal than she did. Maria could not leave the mountain until she could make her own beast obey. She would never let anyone else take that from her. Not even Buck.
They walked into her cave and she stepped behind the curtain she had hung across one side of the small rocky space. She pulled on her big wool knit sweater and her baggy sweatpants with her fur-lined boots. She came back into the main room of the cave and twisted her hair up into a bun. It was caked with blood and mud again, but she couldn't do anything about that now. She would have to wait to wash it out another time.
Maria knelt by the fire pit and began to light some kindling. Buck looked around her cave, his eyes wide and his lips tight, his arms crossed over his chest. Buck sat beside her near the fire pit on a stack of dusty pillows and crossed his legs on the ground. She finished lighting the fire and had it roaring before she added water to her pot and placed it on the metal rack over the flames.
“I can make us some tea,” she said, throwing her mixture of roots and berries into two chipped coffee mugs.
“Thank you,” Buck said as if he were at a tea party at some nice lady’s house.
Maria raised an eyebrow as she poured the steaming water over the tea. She let it seep for a few minutes and then handed the cup to Buck. He took a tentative sip and smiled.
“This is good,” he said, nodding politely.
She sipped her tea, crossing her arms tightly over her body. It was hard to stay warm in the cave and as the days and weeks rolled on, she continued to lose weight where she needed it most.
“You don't really want to stay here. Do you?” Buck asked.
“This is my home now,” she said, taking another sip of tea and staring into space.
The smoke from the fire wafted out through the entrance and filtered through the trees. She let out a deep sigh and stared back at Buck, her lioness raging through her eyes.
“Of course I don't want to stay here. But I have to stay out here. I’m a feral shifter. I'm dangerous to everyone I come in contact with. Including you. Look at the marks on your chest. I did that. You may need stitches.”
“I’m a shifter; this will heal in twenty minutes,” he said, looking down at the scratches on his shoulder and chest.
“That isn’t the point. What if it had been a child, or a human... or a human child?”
“Why would you attack a human child?”
“That's a good question!” she snapped back.
“Maria,” he said in a soft voice. “I’m here to help you. I’m your mate. We belong together. Your problems are mine. I’m here for you one hundred percent. I will never ever leave you, and I will never stop trying to protect you. You have to believe that.”
“You can't protect me, Buck. No one can. No one ever has. I'm not going to let anyone ever hurt me again. It’s now my job to protect others from me. I won’t hurt anyone ever again either.”
Tears started to stream down her face, and she set her cup on the rocky ground to cover her eyes. She didn't want Buck to see her cry. She didn't want him to think she was weak. She was trying to protect him. Why didn't he understand that? If she couldn't get her beast under control, she would never let herself be with him. She didn't deserve it. She was damaged goods.
“What do you mean, no one's been able to protect you?” he asked. “What happened?”
“It was fate,” she said in a cracking voice. “After my parents died, I was left with my sister in the inner city. I didn't think things could get much worse. But then I got kidnapped by very bad men. They snatched me on the way home from school one day, intent on selling me into sex slavery.
“I was stupid enough to think that after I was rescued from my kidnappers I would finally be all right. We moved to Fate Mountain. I enrolled in the Bright Institute. I was learning botany, and I finally felt like I had a purpose in life. I finally felt like I could step out from under Rosa’s shadow. But then this happened. I was turned into this thing, this angry, out of control animal, who only wants to destroy everything in her path. Buck, I can't be with you. I can't be what you need me to be.”
“I only want you.”
“You don't know me.”
“Who bit you, Maria?”
“I need you to leave now, Buck,” she said.
The memories of that night came flashing forward in her mind, and she felt her inner animal roar. She stood from the rolled up wool blanket she’d put next to the fire and began pacing her cave. Buck stood with his hands open and his arms outstretched, a questioning look on his face.
She could feel his concern. Her inner animal hated it. She wanted nothing to do with his care. No one could help her. Especially Buck and his strange animal power over her lioness. The inner beast would never permit that. She couldn't distinguish its thoughts from her own. She growled and scratched and snarled, demanding she make Buck leave now. Buck stepped closer, reaching out to touch her shoulder.
“Maria, just come with me. I can take care of you. I can get you help. I promise. I'll do whatever it takes. Please, just let me help you,” he begged.
Her inner beast rose inside her and surged out through her eyes. Her canine teeth grew long in her mouth and her claws extended from her human hands.
“Get away from me!” she screeched.
She lunged at Buck, hissing and snarling, showing her feral teeth. She bit at his neck and he jumped away, just in time to avoid her bite. Repulsion filled his eyes.
“Okay Maria,” he said. “You win. I’ll leave now. But this isn’t over.”
“Don’t come back,” she growled.
He turned and fled her cave. She could smell his emotions swirling in the air. The animal retracted into its cave deep inside her mind. Maria sank to the ground on her folded up blanket next to the fire. The tears came in a flood. They stormed down her cheeks in sobs that she couldn't control. In that moment, it was just Maria, the twenty-year-old girl alone in a cold, damp cave, weeping for her lost chance at love. And it was all her own fault.
Chapter 5
Buck jogged out of the cave and down the trail, away from Maria. The look in her eyes and the sight of her fangs lunging at his jugular had sent a disturbing shiver down his spine. He couldn't get the sight of it out of his mind. Although he knew he could physically dominate her in both human and animal form, he simply could not see her like that.
He would not give up on her though. Her feral animal had a hold of her psyche. That just made him more determined to give her everything she needed to heal. He would come back another day.
He’d have to take care of her from afar until she was ready to face the pain of her past. No matter how much he wanted to be with her, the crazed look in her human eyes had just been too much.
He still didn't understand what had happened at the Institute the night she was bitten. He did get the sense that her life had been fraught with torment. Now she couldn't handle the delicate balance of power with her new inner animal.
Buck would do everything in his power to help her lead a normal life. She needed love and his strong arms around her every day, letting her know how valuable she was. He barely knew the girl, but from the moment he’d laid eyes on her picture on the screen, he was certain that she was his. She belonged to him and he would never let her go.
Buck drove the front loader full of logs down the mountain and back to Timber Bear Ranch. He parked in the wide gravel driveway in front of the houses and barn.
Jessie was marking off the boundaries for his new log cabin in a flat spot between Leland’s and Buck’s houses.
“Is that going to be enough logs for my cabin?” Jessie asked as Buck approached.
“Probably not. I only worked half a day today,” Buck said.
“That's not like you,” Jessie said, picking up a can of energy drink and taking a deep swig.
“I had a strange day.”
“Are you ready to help me start building?” Jessie asked.
“I can’t today.”
Buck walked away, leaving Jessie standing stunned in the spot that was marked off to be his living room. Buck went inside and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. He chugged it down as if it might wash away the memory of the look in Maria's feral eyes.
Her fangs had brushed the skin of his neck when she'd lunged at him. He'd barely been able to sidestep out of her way. Seeing her beautiful human face contorted by the out of control animal had sent him running. He was irritated at himself for that, and he refused to let it scare him away from his mate for long.
He had to find out what had happened to Maria at the Institute that night. If he knew exactly how she had been turned, he might be able to be more helpful to her.
He finished his bottle of water and went back outside. He hopped into the driver's seat of his old pickup truck and turned on the radio.
Buck listened to music as he drove down the mountain road into town. He tapped the wheel along with the rhythm of the music and hummed for a moment, letting his positive nature come back to the forefront. He had to stay strong.
Buck made it to the Bright Institute and went straight to the office of the director, Corey Bright. Corey’s assistant sat outside of the office and stopped Buck before he could walk through the door.
“Sir?” the woman asked, “do you have an appointment with Mr. Bright?”
“This is about Maria Reyes. I'm her mate,” Buck said in an even tone.
Buck might be a steady man, but he acted fast when he needed to. He hated waiting for people to make up their minds about things that should have been decided long ago. He needed to know what happened to Maria, and he wasn't going to wait another minute.
“It's okay, Candace,” a male voice said from down the hall.
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