by Zoey Marcel
Jill smiled, but Logan knew she was in pain. Whether physical or emotional had yet to be determined. “I’m fine. It just really hurt.”
Ben’s forehead creased with concern, and he kissed her forehead and pulled her into him. “I didn’t mean to cut you so deep when I bit you.”
Tears dribbled down Jill’s cheek when her eyes closed and she squeezed him tight. “I’m fine, Ben.”
Logan stared at her, willing her eyes to open. When they did, he burned a hole into her soul until her focus drifted from his. They both knew Ben had unintentionally opened a wound in her, but not with his bite.
Chapter Seventeen:
Breakaway
A few weeks later
Jill hung up the phone and wandered into the living room, smiling when she saw Ben giving Coral a ride on his back like a horse as he chased a laughing, squealing Pasadena around the room.
Neil walked in through the front door just then, grinning when Pasadena ran to him for protection.
“Save me!” she begged in between giggling.
“Uh-oh. Do you need a horse of your own?” he asked.
“Yes! Be a horse, please.” He got down on all fours and she mounted him with a funny cackle. “En garde, dirtbag.”
Jill smiled and shook her head. Apparently Ben’s reference to criminals as dirtbags had rubbed off on their daughter.
Neil chuckled as he charged toward Coral and her horse. They all ended up in a tangled heap on the carpet.
Jill smiled. “Ben, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” Ben cast her an affectionate glance, smiling down at Coral when she whined. “I’ll be back. While I’m gone you kids should dog pile on Neil.”
Neil let out an exaggerated gasp and got up walking like a turtle toward the door. “Oh no, stay back.”
“Get him!” the girls shouted and lunged at him, giggling when he eased to the carpet and let out a faux cry of distress when they piled on him.
Ben wandered with Jill into the kitchen. “What’s up, babe?”
She hoped he wouldn’t mind what she was about to ask, but really how could he say no to something she wanted? It was his job to make her happy like she’d done for him. “My friend wants me to fly to California for the weekend for some girl time. You don’t mind, right?”
He frowned. “That’s kind of short notice. Which friend is it?”
Damn, she’d hoped he wouldn’t ask. “Does it matter?”
“Is it Piper or Claudia?”
She knew he didn’t have a problem with Piper Covington, but he couldn’t stand Claudia Presley. Lying would be wrong, though if she was honest with herself it was tempting. Still, there was no deceiving him when he looked at her like that.
“Claudia.”
His features hardened slightly with disapproval. “You want to spend the weekend with a crazy, foulmouthed man-hater?”
Jill rolled her eyes. “Claudia’s not crazy. She’s just…unique.”
“You told me the majority of her exes have restraining orders on her.”
“Well, yeah, but she’s nice to me. Besides some of those men probably asked for it.”
He looked at her seriously. “She tied my little brother to a giant wheel and shot off a couple rounds at him on that blind date you set them up on. Adam is still in hiding from her.”
Jill shrugged. “She got carried away. At least he got a blow job from it.”
“She’s a psychopath,” Ben insisted. “And she’s a bad influence on you. You were always a bitch after associating with her.”
“I’m a bitch anyway, so what’s the big deal?”
“I can’t stand her, Jill. I’m sorry, but I don’t want you going. Maybe if it was Piper and she gave more notice.”
Screw him. He couldn’t keep her from going to California if she wanted to. “I asked your opinion out of respect, and I’m sorry you feel that way, but I really want to do this.”
“I don’t feel right about it, so no.”
“But, Ben—”
“My answer is final, Jill.” He turned to leave.
She followed him, feeling frustrated and determined. “You can’t just tell me no.”
“I just did, sub.” He turned to face her again, looking irritated and authoritative.
The word was jarring and shook her to her core.
“On your knees.”
Her eyes squeezed shut as she lowered to the floor on her knees. She really wanted to storm away or slap him, but she bowed her head until he stood in front of her and lifted her chin.
“Your Dominant told you ‘no,’ Jill,” he said in a calming voice. “I know that’s hard for you to accept, but you’re gonna have to. This is nonnegotiable. All right?”
She nodded, feeling defeated and shocked by his level of power over her. “Yes, Sir.”
“You can get up now.”
She stood slowly, resisting the urge to slap his groin. Her heart moved when he pecked a light kiss on her forehead, though it annoyed her that he touched her after denying her what she wanted.
“Good girl.” He wandered back into the living room.
Jill’s face tightened and she wanted to cuss him out as she went upstairs and into their bedroom. It stunned her knowing that with a word he could indulge or deny her and she must obey his decision whatever it was. It was humbling, subtly arousing, and highly irritating.
Calling Claudia back wasn’t going to be fun.
Jill dialed the number. “Hey, Claudia, it’s me again.”
“Jill, hey! Do you have plans for the weekend or are you free?”
She sat on the bed, sulking and pouting. This wasn’t fair. “No, I can’t this weekend. I’m sorry.”
“Why not?”
She grimaced. “Ben said no.”
Claudia snorted on the other end. “What the hell does Ben have to do with your decision? I thought you wore the pants in that relationship.”
“I did.”
“So tell him to piss off. I thought you told me you were his Domme now. Just whip his balls until he blubbers and begs you to go have fun.” Claudia gasped loudly. “Oh my god, you’re not his Domme. He’s your Dom now, isn’t he?”
Jill cringed. “Yeah.”
Claudia groaned. “Crap, Jill, you spend a few months in the mountains with the overbearing jerk and now he’s turned you into his sniveling wallflower?”
“What? No. It’s not like that. I want it this way, and he’s good to me.”
“Doesn’t sound like it. If he was good to you he’d give you whatever you wanted and let you control him.”
Jill sighed, becoming defensive. “I really do like it this way, Claudia. I always had this hidden submissive side to me and—”
“Oh please, girlfriend,” Claudia jeered. “Save the bullshit for someone who buys it. You’re my little dick-smashing buddy, remember? Together we’re unstoppable and we keep the boys in line.”
Jill smiled weakly. “I want it this way now. I like feeling feminine.”
“Fuck femininity. I’d rather be hot and bad-ass.”
“I’m still hot.”
“But you aren’t bad-ass. Now you just wear an apron while you make dinner and lie in bed naked, whimpering while he fucks you and being quiet when he hits you.”
“Ben doesn’t hit me. He’s a good man, and I don’t wear an apron…all the time.”
Claudia groaned. “Do you really mean to tell me that you’re so turned on by the fact that he told you ‘no’? Are you getting off on your fucking helplessness?”
Jill squirmed and sighed. “No.”
“Of course not. Tell that cunt to fuck off and then get your ass out here. I miss you.”
“I can’t talk to him like that.”
“Why? Will the big bad Dom punish you?”
She gulped down her embarrassment, trying to pretend it didn’t bother her. “Yeah.”
“What?” Claudia shrieked. “Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus, Jill, what’s happened to you? He’s brainwashing you and
you’re letting him. Close your legs, woman, and get away from the asshole as soon as possible. If you don’t fly out here this weekend, I’m coming there to get you.”
Jill smiled weakly. “That’s okay. I’m not in any danger.”
“He’ll suck the fucking vitality out of you like a fat, happy tick, Jill,” Claudia warned. “Forget your rolling pin and housewife crap. Think of it. You and me flirting with celebs in Hollywood, playing volleyball on the beach, buying expensive crap, dressing like hookers, and dancing at one of the clubs. It’ll be just like old times. Remember how much fun we always had together?”
Jill smiled, savoring the memories of freedom and independence. “It was a blast.”
“Hell, yes, it was. We could share a guy and make him plead for mercy and release.”
“Claudia, I told you before I’m not cheating on Ben.” She winced, feeling guilty again as her mind finished with anymore.
Claudia sighed. “I know, but you don’t have to fuck the other guy. We can just torture him and then I’ll make him come if he pleases me.”
“No.”
“Fine, be his faithful cum-bear and dress all homey and modest.”
“Ben doesn’t make me dress modest. He lets me wear whatever I want for the most part. He’s still fine with me wearing a bikini in public, too.”
“Even a G-string one?”
“Well…no, but he lets me wear a regular bikini.”
Claudia heaved an exasperated sigh. “Jill, it’s your ass, and a very hot one at that. He can’t make you hide it. It’s your body.”
“It’s his, too.”
“No, it’s not. You just loan it out to him some nights, but it’s still yours. Come on, girlfriend. You bust your ass to raise his brats and feed him and clean for him, and he doesn’t let you take one fucking weekend to yourself for some girl time?”
Jill sighed. Her friend had a point. “I get breaks. He just doesn’t like you.”
“Yeah, and you want to know why? It’s because I try to free you from his reign of tyranny and he doesn’t want you to realize that he has you under his thumb.”
“Well yeah, partly, except for the tyranny part, but he’s still put out over the way you mistreated Adam when you went on a date with him.”
“Oh my god, I just fired off a couple of rounds at him while he spun on that wheel. It’s not like I shot him. I just shot by him.”
“Adam said you tied him down and gagged him. I’m surprised he didn’t get a restraining order on you.”
Claudia snickered. “I know really. He’s one of the few brave ones who didn’t, though he did take off after our little night together. We only had oral sex, but it was the best of my life. I wanted another date, but I never saw him again. I’ve looked everywhere for him. I think he’s hiding from me.”
“You think?” Jill teased.
“He’s your brother-in-law. Tell me where he is.”
“I couldn’t do that to Adam. He’s a sweet guy. You’ll ruin him.”
“I will not. I just want to know if he’s as good at fucking as he is at sucking. I think he’s a masochist actually. He was terrified when I fired off a few rounds at him, but he loved it when I whacked his balls with a wooden spoon.”
“Too much info, Claudia.”
“Oh man, and when he ate me out, he got this dominant, hungry look in his eyes. What kind of hot sickness is that—a cute guy who can take pain from a woman and bottom for her, but also had this authoritative gleam in his eyes?”
“Maybe he’s a switch.”
“Mmm, that’s hot. Didn’t you tell me he had another brother?”
Jill smirked. “Yeah, Milan, but he’s too dominant for you.”
“Good. It makes the victory that much sweeter when I beat them into submission.”
“Trust me. No one forces Milan to do anything he doesn’t want to do.”
“How do you know?”
“Because the asshole told me what he does in bed. He’s a real pig. Ben found out that he shared details of his sex life with me and he cussed Milan out for flirting with me. Milan doesn’t do that anymore, but he’s a player. You deserve better.”
Claudia sounded hostile. “A player, huh? The cunt. Send him my way and I’ll whip the concept of loyalty into him.”
Jill laughed lightly. “Oh god, I can just imagine the two of you in some violent pecking order.”
“You know I’d win.”
“I don’t know. Milan fights dirty. He’s a cop, too, but in all honesty he’s not as decent of one as Ben.”
“He’s bad at his job?”
“No. You know the term ‘good cop, bad cop’?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, Ben is the good cop and Milan is the bad cop.”
“Gotcha. Now back to Adam. At least tell me what town he’s in.”
Jill smiled and shook her head. “Sorry, Claudia.”
“Jill.”
“All right I’ll give you a hint. He’s not living in California anymore. That’s all I’m going to say.”
“Fled the state, huh?” Claudia chortled. “God, I’m wet just thinking about him, those gorgeous eyes of his and that sexy voice. Ugh! I want my sexy whipping boy.”
“Sorry. I should go now.”
“Wait. Come out here this weekend. We won’t get into too much trouble. Just some shopping and strutting our stuff. Come on, Jill. Don’t you ever miss being single and independent?”
Jill sighed, weighing her options carefully. She did miss it every once in a while, though not as often as she thought she might. “Oh hell, why not?”
“All right, that’s what I like to hear. Now are you going to go flip Ben off before you leave, or are you going to sneak away?”
She swallowed, feeling an exciting rush of adrenaline at the thought of being bad. “I’m going to sneak away.”
* * * *
Jill dropped the kids off at her sister’s and brothers-in-law’s house before driving to the airport. Ben and Neil were at work, and Logan and Judah were busy at the ranch, so they were oblivious.
Claudia had suggested she leave without a note to freak Ben out and make him compliant again for fear of abandonment. Jill felt that was cruel, so she left a note to explain where she went and that she’d be back.
In California Claudia showed her to the guest room and let her unpack before they headed out to do some shopping. It felt good to spend money and strut around a mall in revealing clothes without worrying about answering to Ben or whether or not her girls were up to no good.
That night she and Claudia dressed in skintight clothes and went to one of the clubs. Jill wore snug black leather pants, a black halter top with a plunging neckline, and black stiletto boots. She curled her hair and gave herself an evening look with her makeup.
Claudia wore red leather pants, a white halter top, and red open-toed stripper heels. Her sandy hair was fluffed up in a cute chignon. They drove to the club, rocking out in the car to eighties songs.
“Stop worrying. What’s Ben going to do, spank your ass for having some fun?” Claudia taunted with a roll of her eyes.
“I just don’t want him to worry.”
Jill wished she could snap out of her guilty frame of mind. This was about freedom and independent womanhood, and freakin’ Ben kept sneaking back into her head and making her feel bad and miss him. She missed Neil, Logan, and Judah, too, and wondered if they knew by now that she was gone. They had to.
“You left a note,” Claudia reminded her. “Now snap out of it. Did you shut your phone off like I told you to?”
“Yeah, I did. I’m sure I have quite a few texts by now.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just keep your phone off and come shake your moneymaker with me. We’ll snag all the guys’ attention and make all those nasty hos jealous.” Claudia tugged her arm, wearing a playful smile. “Come on, girlfriend. Show ’em what you’re made of.”
Jill shook her head and smiled as they entered the club. The colorful, flashing li
ghts from the disco ball flickered vividly on the walls as couples danced and all but got freaky on the dance floor. The atmosphere was electric and exciting, but she felt strangely out of place. This had felt so normal before during her separation with Ben. Why was it different now?
“That guy is totally checking you out, Jill,” Claudia told her, holding a cosmo in her hand. “Isn’t he cute?”
Jill glanced over at the young man making eyes at her. “He is cute, but he looks younger than me.”
“So be a cougar. You’ve still got it.”
“Claudia, I’m married.”
Claudia rolled her eyes and made an exasperated noise. “I didn’t tell you to go fuck him. Just go talk to him.”
“About what? It can’t turn into anything.”
“It doesn’t have to. Just flirt with him and pet him a little.”
Jill was appalled. Her friend always behaved like that before, but it hadn’t bothered her then. “You want me to lead some poor guy on?”
Claudia looked irritated as she set her drink down on the bar. “I can see Ben’s poisoned the crap out of you. Just go mingle with the hottie and get down with him on the dance floor, you pie-making prude.”
That hurt and annoyed her more than she cared to admit. Her role as a wife and mother was so much more than that. Jill sighed and walked over to the nice-looking young man, feeling guilty when he smiled at her.
Calm down, stupid. We’re just talking. Nobody’s getting naked.
“Hey,” he said with a cocky grin.
“Hi.”
His eyes dropped to her cleavage and never left. “Nice titties.”
“Okay. We’re done.” She turned and headed back over to Claudia. “I think I’m just going to sit with you.”
Claudia scowled. “I brought you here so we could show off and dance. If that guy’s not your type, how about someone older and more down-to-earth like that guy over there?”
Jill turned and saw the stocky, dark-haired gentleman, who raised his beer glass to her with an inviting grin. “I don’t know.”
“Come on. He looks like he’s in his thirties.”
“I can’t stop thinking about Ben and my girls and—”
“Enough about your family already. That guy’s coming over.” Claudia nodded as the man approached with evident enthusiasm. “Hmm, I think I’ll dance with that young cutie you ditched.”