I had given up everything for her. My father had disowned me, furious over the situation and calling me a fool, telling me I had thrown my life away for a little bitch. The man I had worshiped my entire life had turned his back on me. I was forbidden to return to the Clan and it hurt. A lot. I could only hold on to the hope that she was truly worth it all. If only I could find her.
To say I was frustrated was an understatement. She was everywhere and yet I had never once laid eyes on her in the months I had been in San Marco. Every time I got close, she slipped away. After nearly three months I could only assume that she was deliberately avoiding me. But why? Finding a true mate was everything to a wolf. Our very core sought out that one person that would complete us, and while culturally our society had shifted away from the disappointment of never finding one's true mate, to settling for a compatible mate, it was still every wolf's desire to find that closeness and bond with a mate. I had never known how badly I wanted, no needed it.
There was no way that my mate did not recognize me equally as I had her. I just didn't believe that was even possible. So, every time I got close and she faded away on me, I responded in rejection and it was awful.
I knew the moment she had left the building and even though a part of me realized my friend was asking if I were okay, I ignored him and turned, running for the door, only to see a small dark car pull out amidst a cloud of dust. She was running from me. There was no mistaking it this time, and the physical pain that knowledge caused was staggering. Fighting the primal need to change and give chase was the hardest thing I had ever done.
“Are you okay? Dude, what's wrong?” Chase jumped from his truck and ran over to check on me. Liam was quickly by his side.
“Patrick? What's wrong?” his brother asked.
I just shook my head, trying to clear it as much as push them away.
“I'm fine,” I said, rubbing the empty hole in my heart she had once again left behind.
“You sure? You don't look so hot, man.” Chase assured me.
“I said I'm fine.” I snapped, turning to walk back into the Crate.
Kyle was grinning and his face fell when he looked at me. “Dammit, she eluded you again?”
I sighed, trying not to let the full extent of my frustration show even knowing that if there was anyone on this planet who understood, it was Kyle Westin. His mate had worked side by side with him for more than two years before ever showing a sign of mating. Daily rejection was his life, but even knowing he got it, I didn't want to share my pain with him. So, I just shrugged. “Safe to say she isn't ready for me to find her.”
“What do you mean?” Lily asked.
“Every time Patrick gets close to his mate, she disappears on him.” Kyle informed them.
A shared look between the girls didn't go unnoticed.
“What do you know about it?” I demanded.
“Nothing.” Lily said like I was crazy and I felt crazy.
“I'm gonna head on,” I told Kyle.
He sighed, no doubt feeling my frustrations and nodded.
“Call me if you want to talk. This one put me through absolute hell, but I can honestly say I'd go back and do it all over again. She's worth it, I promise.” He grinned lovingly down at his beautiful mate.
“How about some Call of Duty to take your mind off things?” Chase offered.
“I will yea.” I said sarcastically before changing my tone. “Sounds great,” I replied, still with little enthusiasm. I really didn't want the company just then, but I couldn't tell the kid no. He meant well.
Kyle ended up blowing off the day to hang with us too. All my frustrations and anger were geared toward kicking three Westins’ butts. After awhile I started to relax and even enjoy just hanging out with my friends, who had grown to mean more to me than my own brothers. These three men were truly everything I had wished my brothers had been. They were so close and loving. They actually cared for each other and respected one another. A simple video game such as that would have led to blood shed amongst my brothers, but while they were competitive with me and each other, there was no animosity. Whoever won, won and they congratulated each other and ribbed the losers.
I counted myself lucky to be a part of it, even in a small way. Why couldn't my mate have been their lovely sister, Lily? She was a little wild and still a little young in many ways I had noticed, but she was also sweet and fun. She was craic through and through. But mostly she would have made me a Westin. I sighed, wondering where that thought had come from. It wasn't that I had a bad family and I loved my clan. But it was just hard not to notice the differences there. I truly envied the close relationship the four Westin siblings had.
“Oh slam! Yes! You suck!” Chase yelled, jumping up suddenly and shaking me from my thoughts. As if on autopilot I raised my hand as he slapped his against mine. I hadn't even been paying attention to the game we were playing, but knew from my partner’s enthusiasm we had just kicked some butt.
“Alright, alright,” Kyle said. “I've got to get back to the office. Tomorrow is the Winter Solstice run, but Friday night you're on for a rematch, and Liam and I won't go so easy on you guys this time.”
“Yeah, yeah, big words there suit boy. No way will you two ever take me and Patrick.”
I laughed despite my melancholy mood. Chase could talk some shit. You had to love him.
“You're running with us tomorrow, right?” Liam asked me.
I sighed. I had always loved the Winter Solstice run. The longest night of the year. It was the best, but it was a pack thing.
“Wish I could, but that's a pack thing. It wouldn't be right.”
“Don't be ridiculous, Patrick. Of course you are welcome to run with us. As long as you are staying in Westin territory, as far as I'm concern you're honorary Westin. Now I'm sure some would take exception to you showing up for a pack meeting, but I can't imagine anyone will care about the run.” His face transitioned into a rather evil grin. “Plus, all pack members are required to run tomorrow. No exceptions. If your mate is truly Westin, she'll be there.”
I didn't know how to feel about what he said. My mate would be there. She couldn't just run away from me. Well, not exactly anyway. I realized there were a lot of wolves in the Westin pack. I'm not sure anyone but Kyle probably knew for certain just how many, but a lot. In wolf form I knew with certainty that I would hone in on her quickly, despite the large number.
“We'll start with a pack meal at the pack house and then we run. Hope you'll seriously consider joining us, for dinner and the run.” Kyle added.
I nodded. “Sure, yea. I will. Thanks.”
Nervous excitement caused goosebumps on my arms. Tomorrow night I was going to find her.
“Another round?” Liam asked after Kyle left.
We spent the rest of the evening wasting away in video games. Don't get me wrong, I loved playing and hanging with the guys, but I wanted some time alone to both sulk at the earlier rejection and to relish in the knowledge that I would see her in less than twenty-four hours.
“Do you have anything to eat around here?” Chase asked as his stomach grumbled.
“There's some crisps in the press,” I told him.
“There's some what in the where?” he asked.
I just shook my head and walked into the kitchen to grab the bag of Lay's from the cabinet next to the fridge. I threw it next to him and sat back down.
“Chips. These are called chips,” he informed me.
I rolled my eyes at him. “We will agree to disagree on that.”
We continued to play for several more hours.
“Last round. I'm wrecked. Gunna call it.” I informed them halfway through our current game. It was half eight at night. I was done.
“Ohhh, you suck. You suck.” Liam teased, less obnoxiously than his younger brother at the close of our final game.
I shook my head at them, suddenly sad that none of my brothers would ever tease me in such a manner. The Westin's were truly a great family
and they treated their pack fairly and with respect. Like they treated each other. Like family.
I had been around a lot of other packs. My father had seen to it that my brothers and I knew everyone in pack leadership for nearly every pack. We had been sent out to the best camps, schools, and eventually colleges for that purpose alone. Where other future alphas went, so did we, and we all knew that one day we would battle to take one of the lives and live that life with their mate. Having smelled my one true mate and knowing she was out there, it felt like the fear just thinking about it.
I couldn't afford to love this pack. I couldn't afford to fit in. Life just didn't work that way. My father was pissed, yea. But I had to believe he'd get over it and accept me back to the pack when the time came. As much as I liked the Westins, it was customary for a male wolf to find his mate and bring her back to his pack, not follow her to another pack. That could be perceived as a sign of weakness, and after the mess I had made with the challenges for Kelsey, I didn't need any more ammo pointing towards weakness.
No, I would find my mate and take her home. I sighed looking around the cottage I had grown to love. So why did it sometimes feel like I was finally home?
One True Mate (Westin Pack Book 1) Page 29