by D. A. Young
“Don’t. Cry.” It was uttered softly and Jack jerked his head up to look at her face. Her eyes were partially open.
“Noelle… baby, are you okay? Should I get the doctor?” he asked standing up, tears running unchecked down his face. Leaning over he gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.
“Hurts, Jack,” she mumbled and he clasped her hand gently. He wasn’t ever planning on letting go. She was his lifeline. Her eyes closed again, and she tried to speak but no words came out.
“What hurts, baby?” he asked with concern, trying to compose himself.
“Heart hurts. See you cry. Don’t,” she said faintly, her fingers curling weakly around his before drifting off to sleep; a content smile on her lips.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
She awoke in severe agony. Her hands flew to her stomach, and she felt fire in her upper chest at her sudden movement. Moaning in pain, Noelle tried to feel for the small bump of her tummy.
“The baby’s fine, Noelle.” And she closed her eyes as the warmth of that sweet, southern drawl washed over her. God, it had been too long since she’d last heard it. She heard him move. “Do you need more medicine?”
Noelle opened her eyes at the concern lacing his voice to see Jack hovering above her. His hair looked like it hadn’t been combed in a while, his face covered in whiskers, and he was sporting a large bruise on his left cheek. To coin a phrase, he looked like shit; but to Noelle, he was the most beautiful sight in the world.
“What happened? I feel like I went fifty rounds in a fight club,” Noelle groaned, licking her chapped lips. She slowly sipped from the cup of water Jack brought to her lips. It was cool and refreshing going down her parched throat. “That’s good, thank you.”
“You were involved in a bad car accident and sustained some pretty awful injuries, but the important thing is that you and the baby are alive,” Jack said gravely. Noelle could see the questions and hurt in his eyes.
“I was on my way to tell you about the baby. I didn’t think it was something you should say over the phone,” she said quietly, trying to gauge how he felt about the news of impending fatherhood.
“Noelle, you’re almost five months along. When were you gonna say somethin’?” Jack asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. The relief of having her awake and coherent was great, but so was his anger at her secrecy. He watched as fire flashed in her tired eyes.
“Should I have called you up after your disappearing act?” She retorted angrily. “Or better yet, stick a post it note on the recurring divorce papers you sent me? “
“Oh you mean the papers you finally signed? Yeah, Casey made a special trip to give them to me; and it was the wakeup call I needed to realize how badly I was fucking things up,” he asked shortly. “I was on my way to the airport to catch a flight to see you and beg for a second chance, when we saw the accident. God, that took about a hundred years off my life, darlin’, when the deputy said your name,” Jack said unevenly.
Noelle frowned in confusion; what was he talking about? She’d never signed the papers, and realization dawned on her that it was Casey who’d forged them for her, knowing it would get his brother moving.
“How do you feel about the baby?” Noelle asked quietly, watching as he rubbed his hand over his shadowed jaw and a big grin broke out across his face.
“I’m very happy about the baby. It’s more than I could have dreamed or hoped for,” he replied honestly. “I think you’ll make a great mother, Noelle, and I plan to be front and center for every moment in our child’s life. I hope it’s something we’ll be doing together.”
“How do you plan on doing that exactly?” Noelle asked bluntly. “I mean, you said you loved me, and then ran, not walked, away from me. How do I know that the next time shit gets too real, you won’t take off again?”
Jack stiffened. “I fucked up and ran out on you, and words can’t express how sorry I am for that. I did it because I was ashamed of the way I treated you our last night together. All my life, I’ve been terrified that I would turn out like my father with his violent, dominating nature. Our last night together, I…I never felt more like him,” he explained, shaking his head in self-disgust.
“When you said we were done, I just lost it. The thought of not having you in my life was making me crazy. So I tried to reach you in the only way that I thought would make you see how good we are together. My perverse need to hear you say you belonged to me was disgusting, but I couldn’t stop myself.”
“That’s why you left? Because you felt like you were turning into your father?” Noelle asked, and Jack nodded solemnly. “Even though you said you loved me?”
“It’s the only reason. From the moment I saw you at your birthday party, I fell in love with you. You were the most breathtaking vision I’d ever seen as you carried on a conversation with yourself and downed a mini bottle of tequila.” He laughed at her surprised look and he explained himself.
“I happened to be sitting in the dark corner of the library when you crashed my solo party. I hadn’t even planned on going, but Ian convinced me that I should get to know all the family members since your parents were going to be my new clients. I slipped away for some peace and quiet, and then you drifted in like a breath of fresh air. I know I should have said something, but I was so tongue–tied. I couldn’t even speak and then you were gone. I texted Ian back and told him I was staying. The plan was to introduce myself to you and figure out how to court you.” He looked away from her for a moment before continuing on.
“But the intensity of my feelings for you scared the hell outta me. I found I couldn’t stop watching you, and I wanted to beat the shit out of any man foolish enough to step to you. Then you approached me, and I knew as soon as I touched your hand that everything had changed for me. I would never be the same. I spent the next twenty-four hours in a trance. You were all I could think about. I collected every piece of information I could find on you and would just stare at your pictures. The need to have you was so fierce and possessive, it scared even me.” He hung his head in shame as Noelle stared at him. She recalled what Vaughn Emerson said to her months ago.
“I went to his place and there was an open folder with a full dossier on you as well as pictures.”
Jack took a deep breath before continuing. “I felt like I couldn’t pursue you, because I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t consume you with my need and jealousy. So instead, I watched. Why do you think I came out to your house so much? Because I couldn’t get enough of your mother and her creepy Michelle Obama obsession?” Jack asked wryly and twisted his lips in self-disgust, raking a hand through his wild hair. “Like my obsession with you was any better. Hell, I’m listening to myself right now and getting creeped out.”
“I never knew you felt like that,” Noelle said softly, her eyes looking at him with wonder. “I thought you were this sophisticated guy who had women beating down his door, with no thought of your client’s gawky daughter. You never gave any indication that you were interested. If anything, you seemed disgusted when in my presence.”
The tortured look Jack gave her took her breath away. “You weren’t ready for any of this, Noelle. It would have overwhelmed you. Hell, my feelings for you sometimes still overwhelm me. I was scared that if we did pursue something, I would suffocate you and you’d leave me.” His hands clenched. “I wouldn’t have been able to bear that. You were so young and still had goals to accomplish. Those looks were for your family, for not realizing how special you are. You can’t imagine how many times I wanted to stand up for you and tell them to go fuck themselves,” Jack said with a sneer.
“I was there the night you asked your father for an advance on your inheritance. The way you left with your face full of angry determination let me know that perhaps you weren’t as young and naïve as I kept telling myself. So I reached out to Ira and you ladies did the rest.” He squeezed her hand gently, and she saw the pride in his eyes before they darkened with anger.
“Then the
Remy thing happened, and I saw a way to get what I wanted while eliminating a problem. I’m sorry you had to suffer under the threat of blackmail. I would have stopped him, but apparently his knack for pissing people off finally caught up with him; though I did send a man over to clear his hard drive and get rid of any evidence of you in his life. I’m sorry, but I just have to do this. It’s been so long for me,” Jack finished as he bent down to give her a soft kiss on the lips. Noelle closed her eyes, reveling in the exquisite sensation and wanting to stay lost in the moment forever. Slowly she opened them to see him still close to her face.
“I was in complete hell after I left you. I hid in my house like a fucking coward and drank my sorrows away.” He rubbed the bruised side of his face with a grimace. “It took getting the sense knocked into me and you signing the divorce papers to make me realize that the best thing that ever happened to me was going to be gone. We were heading to the airport when we came upon the accident. God, to think I could have lost you and the baby forever…” Jack pulled back to sit in the chair beside the hospital bed and put his hands in his face as he attempted to pull himself together.
***
Noelle watched this big, strong man of hers struggling for composure. For years she’d always known him as being unflappable. It pained her to see him like this because as much as she wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him, she couldn’t until they established some ground rules. Clearing his throat, Jack got up and went to the bathroom without looking at her. She heard water running and then five minutes later he came out. His red eyes were the only telltale sign that he’d shed some tears. He sat down in the chair next to the bed again, and although she was looking at the ceiling, she could feel his eyes on her. Finally, she spoke.
“I’ve been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you. You’ve lived in my dreams for the last four years of my life. Never did I imagine that I had any kind of chance with someone like you. I was just the stupid Kramer screw-up-”
“Don’t ever say that about yourself!” Jack said fiercely. “You are so much more than what you think. You’re smart, beautiful, and kindhearted. Who doesn’t adore you? Every time I turn around, you’ve got some guy fallin’ all over you. Whether it’s your classmate, a client, or that asshole Rothman; any man would recognize what a catch you are.”
“Then why didn’t you respect me enough to treat me like one?!” She shouted and winced at the pain it caused, before glaring at him. She tried to snatch her hand away but he gently held fast. “I wanted to die when you left me. You led me to believe we could have something special and treated me like I was, but when the going got tough, Jack Sullivan got going. Do you even know what it felt like to be alone when I found out I was pregnant? You were the only person I wanted to tell and you weren’t available.” All the hurt and anger of the last few months was evident in her furious expression.
“I came down here ready to fight for us; to tell you about the baby and hope that you would be just as happy. I’ve fought my mother for you, and by the way, you’re going to have to tell me exactly why the hell she has it in for you so badly. I’ve also told my siblings in no uncertain terms that this is my life. Those that are skeptical and negative need not stay in it.” Noelle paused to take a deep breath and motioned for the cup of water.
Disbelief laced his voice as Jack helped her. “You took on your mother for me?”
Slowly Noelle drank most of the water and nodded her head vigorously. “I did because to me, you’re worth it. I’d take on a thousand Alicia’s for you,” she said seriously before taking a deep breath to negotiate the biggest deal of her life. Please let this work, she thought to herself. “I don’t want to be married.”
The silence in the room was deafening. Jack slowly straightened, eyes blazing with determination as he pulled his hand back and shoved both of them in his pants pockets. She knew he was resisting the urge to lean over her and be his extra persuasive self, which made her love him even more.
“Noelle, please don’t say that. Let me prove to you that I’m a better man than the jerk who ran out on you. I’m beggin’ you, darlin’. Don’t give up on us. Let me show you how good -”
Holding up her hand for silence, she interrupted him.” I don’t want to be married the way that we are. If we’re going to stay married, I have two stipulations and they are non-negotiable. The first one is you have to go to therapy. Until you deal with your parent’s issues and deaths, they will always be with us. You are not and never will be your father,” Noelle said firmly. “We can’t bring a child into our relationship with an issue as big and unresolved as this. I’ll go with you if you want, but I really think you could benefit from it, whether we stay together or not.”
Jack’s gaze on her was steady. “I already reached out to the shrink that used to counsel us as kids. My first session is actually in two weeks. Thank you for offering to attend with me, but I think I really need to go it alone for a while. What’s the other stipulation?”
“You have to date me. I want and deserve all the wining and dining that I should have gotten. I am never going to love anyone like I love you, Jackson Conall Sullivan, and maybe you did have my best interest at heart when you set things in motion, but every girl deserves romance dammit! I want-”
Her words were smothered under his devastating kiss, and she sighed into his soft lips as he whispered tenderly, “Done.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
One Year Anniversary...
The huge, rustic barn was packed to capacity for the wedding. The bridesmaids were encased in oyster silk dresses designed to specifically compliment their body types, and the bouquets they held were a mix of pale pink peonies, white roses, and black dahlia’s. The groomsmen were clad in black suits with white dress shirts and black cowboy boots.
Percy Sledge’s’ “When a Man Loves a Woman” filled the room and all eyes turned to the back of the church as the radiant bride appeared on her proud father’s arm. She wore a strapless Vera Wang white satin frock with a V neck and A-line skirt made of tulle and satin. It was simple and classic, showing off her rich, brown skin and lush figure. The jeweled tiara atop her long, wild curls along with her necklace and earrings were created specifically for her by Vixen.
As they started the long walk down the petal-covered aisle, she only had eyes for the handsome groom, clad in his black, custom Tom Ford tux, and the beautiful baby girl, covered in frothy lace, in his arms. The look of love burning brightly in Jack’s hazel eyes was enough to make Noelle’s own fill with tears, and she had to restrain herself from running down the aisle to her man and their sweet baby girl.
Ruby Aileen Sullivan was three months old and the absolute apple of her parents’ eye; as well as her grandparents, uncles, aunts... mailman... random sales clerk… pretty much anyone she came into contact with. Her complexion was the color of creamed coffee, and her big, round eyes were gray just like her mama’s, with long, ink- black lashes. The fluffy, black curls covering her head were silky soft and striking against her big, rosy cheeks. She was named after her late Grandma Moira and Noelle’s beloved Uncle Harvey, whose signature color had been Ruby Red.
Finally, Noelle reached her family and was only half-listening as her father announced he was giving her away. Before stepping aside, he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Be happy. We’re all so proud of you, sweet pea,” he said gruffly using his nickname for her, before turning to Jack and shaking his hand. “Look after my babies, Jackson.”
“Yes, sir,” Jack said solemnly as he shifted his beloved daughter to his other arm and returned his father-in-law’s handshake. Noelle handed her bouquet which was a larger version of the bridesmaids to Sloane, her maid of honor before intertwining her hand in Jack’s larger one. Noelle winked at Jack as she heard her mother sniffle loudly before it turned into full-on bawling from the front row.
After being notified of her accident, the entire Kramer family flew down and took up occupancy in the farmhouse, which drove Jack crazy. I
t was there that Noelle’s parents apologized for their insensitive treatment of her. She was surprised to learn that Jack and her father had engaged in a serious conversation regarding his feelings towards her, and that Ronald Kramer had given their relationship his blessing. That was until he found out about the baby and Jack’s knowledge of his wife’s OxyContin addiction.
Alicia confessed to being so stressed creating the perfect image for herself and family that she just wanted to not feel anything at times. While shopping for a home in Florida, she’d begun to discreetly purchase the pills from a Florida senator’s wife. After her third trip down to Florida in less than a month, Jack became concerned and arranged to have her followed. Although he’d been looking into facilities that could discreetly assist her, he admitted to blackmailing her to leave Noelle alone. After Noelle confessed to being pregnant by Jack, Alicia decided it was in her best interests to come clean with her husband.