Allison took a deep breath and met Jared’s noncommittal expression. She hated to beg, but she’d do whatever it took. “I’ve always been the brainiac nobody bothered to glance at twice. I kept my nose in a book all through school, never veered off the path toward being successful. I missed every school dance, only had a handful of friends who were all as bashful and as awkward as me. I’ve kissed one guy my entire life—and no, Gramps, Dad, and Nick don’t count—and I’m tired of the path I’m on. I’m happy, but I know I can be happier. I deserve to have what’s missing in my life. I want to up the ante on my career, make new friendships, get a social life, find love, and hopefully have a family of my own someday. It would be a lot easier if you’d agree but, with or without your help, I’m doing this.”
She waved away his unspoken words when he opened his mouth.
“I’m being honest here, Jared, I need to make these changes as much as I need to breathe.”
...
Shit, she has me pegged all wrong. His life wasn’t as perfect as the picture in her mind, and he wasn’t the confirmed bachelor everyone thought. At least he didn’t want to be that guy.
If only he could reach into his desk and grab one of those damn Hershey’s Kisses. He could always think through a problem with a little chocolate. He blamed that on his mom.
He’d almost been swayed enough to help Allison with the makeover, but going deeper—as in dating each other? Not. A. Chance. He couldn’t cross that line of trust between him and Nick without fists flying. Hell, Nick knew him better than most, and Jared was no fucking idiot. He’d be the last guy Nick would want dating his kid sister. No matter if it was strictly for the sake of advice or not. There were some lines that friends didn’t cross. And this was a big thick line highlighted with neon and lit up with flashing signs.
The Halls were like family. And even though Allison remained on the sidelines, she came as a package deal with Nick. Although he’d learned more about her in the last ten minutes than he had over the last decade, he’d always respected her. Liked her because…
Because she’s Nick’s kid sister.
But something else held him back even more than his relationship with the Hall family. He wanted what she wanted: love. A future with someone special. And he had no idea how to make that happen.
What if he did agree to help her and she ended up in the same predicament as him?
Loveless. Alone. Searching.
All because he hadn’t figured out the secret to that part of happiness any more than she had.
He studied her as she concentrated all her attention on her shoes and then glanced up to meet his gaze, adjusting her glasses and squinting at him through the clear lenses. She was cute, in a sister kind of way. He hated hearing her put herself down. She acted like she was the hunchback of Chicago—and she was far from it. She might not be the glamorous type he usually went for, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t right for someone.
He’d like to help her. But he couldn’t.
“I can’t help you find love.” The words spilled out before he even realized he’d voiced them.
She frowned up at him with the most serious line marring her brow as she pushed the mop of hair falling over her forehead out of her face. Her big brown eyes studied him intently. “But you can give me the building blocks. You know what a man likes. What turns a guy on, gets his attention about the way a woman dresses and moves. You can help me find confidence. I don’t want to be inadequate anymore and…”
The pain in her eyes nearly severed his heart. She looked away, but he lifted her chin with his finger. He needed to look into her eyes. Big and soft and passionate. Windows to her thoughts. “What happened that makes you think you’re inadequate? Because you’re anything but.”
She pulled his hand from her chin and patted it softly before releasing it, as if she needed to comfort him instead of the other way around.
“Lance.”
“The guy you dated from college?” His gut tightened. He’d only met the guy a handful of times and had liked him less with each meeting.
She nodded. “We were pretty serious for a while.”
“I remember.”
“Until the night we decided to do the deed and he laughed at me when he found out I was a virgin.” Her voice faded away on the last word. “I can’t believe I just told you that.”
Jared’s protective instincts rushed forth, and he curled his fists at his sides. Why would anyone laugh at Al? More importantly, what was so damn funny about being a virgin? Men dreamed of being a girl’s first. And being a virgin as an adult was almost unheard of nowadays. For some reason her whispered confession kind of turned him on, and he hated himself for it. He could almost feel Nick’s fingers wrapping around his throat.
He massaged his neck. “So I’m going to assume his laughter spoiled the moment?”
“That’s an understatement. We had a huge fight and broke up. I couldn’t believe he laughed at me. As if he had a bevy of beautiful babes waiting in the wings to sex him up on demand. Jerk.”
“Did you tell him that you were giving him the biggest gift of all by sharing your virginity?”
She tilted her head to the side, and a smile tugged at the edges of her lips. “Do you read historical romances on the sly?”
“No. No.” His face burned, but he managed a strained smile. Since when had he become one to get embarrassed? Of course he’d never discussed virginity—sex in general—with Al. As a matter of fact, their current conversation had been the lengthiest they’d ever shared. With one of the most difficult topics. “I’m just saying that he should’ve felt honored. I can’t tell you the last time I—”
“Met a virgin?” she whispered. “They’re sort of like unicorns, right?”
They laughed, no discomfort like the last time.
She might be shy and quiet, but she’d never be the type of woman a man could walk over. “Don’t you see how much confidence it took for you to break up with Lance after what he did?”
“I think that was due more to anger than confidence.”
“Have you considered that you just haven’t met the right guy yet?”
Her doe-like brown eyes grew large, and she smiled. “Most definitely. But in order to meet the right guy, I need to have the right tools.”
“I think this entire idea is crazy. Are you letting one idiot from your past determine your future? I’ve always enjoyed our conversations, so I know you’re okay in that department. As for your appearance, maybe you need to look in the mirror and not judge yourself so harshly. You have beautiful eyes, perfect teeth, and hair most women would kill for.”
“You sound like you’re buying a racehorse.”
He shook his head and smiled. “Not to mention you’re funny, smart—”
“You already went over those last items.” She laughed a little self-consciously as she twisted her button so hard she pulled it from the thread and slipped it into her pocket in one brisk move. “Thanks for the pep talk, but the only thing you’ve convinced me of is that I want a makeover now more than ever. All of it combined will only help in my quest for love. And from there I’ll be more confident when the time comes for me…”
A deep blush roared over her face, and she dropped her gaze.
“All of that will happen in time. No matter what Lance led you to believe, sex is special. Don’t give it away.” Where the hell had that come from?
“I don’t need another brother.” A slow, tenuous smile filled her face. “Don’t try to tell me that every time you’ve had sex the woman was special.”
“I’ve made mistakes. I have regrets. You don’t have to.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Lance told me that no man wants an inexperienced woman in his bed.”
“Who made Lance the expert?”
She shot him a glare. “Well, I believe him. Why would any guy want some fumbling idiot making lame attempts to turn him on? I’m sure that’d have the opposite effect.”
Jared shook hi
s head, but before he could get a word out, she grabbed his hand and squeezed.
“I want to go into that part of a relationship knowing what the heck I’m doing. I want to turn on my man with a touch, a glance. Drive him crazy with a kiss, make him want more. I want the all-consuming relationship both inside and outside the bedroom. A good sexual relationship will enhance everything. The bond and closeness, those intimate touches and looks in public. I want it all. I want the man in my life to have it all.”
For some reason her words took his breath away, and he sucked in a lungful of air to steady his heart. He’d never expected to hear anything like that from Al. Never.
It made his own wants and desires burn hot inside him. He ached for all that she talked about—and more.
“Now who’s been reading romance?” he teased in an effort to lighten the mood.
“Sorry to disappoint, but most of my info comes from magazines and articles I’ve read on the internet.” She released his hand and then sat back in her seat, closing her eyes briefly as if collecting her thoughts.
He’d watched his parents struggle their entire married life. They had loved each other, but in an unconventional way. One that didn’t involve them being in the same state—hell, city for that matter—longer than a few weeks a year. They’d been horrible role models, but he hadn’t let them crush his deepest desire to have a woman he could love and worship above all others.
Al’s words reminded him that he longed for the same thing she did. Not just the sex, but that intimate bond between a man and a woman.
A sudden weight settled over his chest, and he struggled to stay focused and do something as naturally as breathe. He’d almost lost touch with his own dream of a future. Thank God for Al, for making him come back down to earth. Deep inside he knew only one thing could make him whole. Complete.
The love of a woman. The ultimate bond.
Over the years he’d searched so hard for the perfect woman he’d turned into a serial dater. None of the women he’d met lasted longer than the latest electronic gadget, and as time went by he’d given up on finding Miss Right. Settling instead for Miss-Right-Now. Dating for fun, laughs, the short term.
Hell, if he were honest, all the women in his life had been amazing, but none had held his interest like he wanted.
Maybe he needed to make a few changes of his own. Omar and Roth had done it. They were two of the luckiest sons of bitches he knew. They’d never even wanted that type of love—and Jared had never shared with them that he had—but they’d found it. In spades.
He could, too.
But how? The very idea of trying again scared the shit out of him.
“Jared?”
He came crashing back to the moment as Al’s eyes pleaded with him.
Although he liked that she had approached him—respected the fact she’d veered from her comfort zone, because he knew she had—how the hell could he help her when he couldn’t even help himself?
Blood pounded in his ears as he moved toward the windows. He lifted a slat of the blinds and peered outside. His back stiffened, and he rolled his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the grip of the fabric. A stream of sunshine lit a path along his hand, and he turned to follow it across his desktop and farther still to where it spilled across Al’s slacks.
She stood, brushing at the light that she couldn’t really erase. “Well?”
“I’m beyond flattered, but I’m not the man for the job. Sorry, Al.”
...
Disappointment hit Allison like a tidal wave the moment Jared’s office door clicked closed behind her. Her eyes flickered shut, and she took a few deep breaths.
“You okay, hon?”
Allison jumped at the sound of Maureen’s soft voice. She’d forgotten where she was for a moment and pasted a smile on her face as she met the concern filling Maureen’s mossy green eyes. She looked past her at Nick’s closed office door. At least she didn’t have to worry about him putting in an appearance, since he was out of town until next week.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
The ghost of what her future held maybe? More humdrum boringness. “I’m fine. I think I just stood up too fast.”
“You want me to get you a glass of water?” Maureen pushed her keyboard aside as she stood. “Maybe you need to have a seat.”
Allison motioned her to sit down. “No. I’m okay.” She eyed the abstract metal clock filling the wall behind the woman’s desk. Time to make an exit before Maureen asked any more questions. “If I want to finish up the comparisons I’m working on before the weekend starts, I better get back to work.”
“Okay…” Maureen’s voice faded as she slowly reclaimed her seat.
Allison rushed from the airy room that had suddenly become suffocating. She made her way into the empty corridor and rounded the corner before she sagged against the wall to regain her composure. Her body grew numb, and she shook out her hands, as if that would shed the tension road-mapping her body.
Now what? Plan B. I’ll have to do this solo. She’d made the decision to make some changes. She couldn’t let one little bump in the road stop her.
More internet searches. Magazines. The library again. Everything sounded tiring and daunting, but she had no choice if she planned to make this work.
She reached inside her pocket, remembering the moment her fingers touched the ball of tinfoil that her reserve of Hershey’s Kisses was used up.
The lack of chocolate was neither here nor there. Changes would be made with or without Jared’s help or a dose of chocolate. As for the issue of dating—for now she’d comfort herself with the idea that once she changed her looks, confidence would build and dates would follow.
From there, being the oldest virgin in the land would fix itself. Right? Definitely.
Maybe I could place an ad, conduct interviews? Check the yellow pages—or better yet, Google—for sex gods who moonlighted as sexual mentors? No way could she be the only person on the planet who needed sexual mentoring. Could she? She giggled and snorted at the same time, covering her mouth as her eyes darted up and down the empty corridor.
Not that she was in a hurry to lose her virginity. And Jared was right, she didn’t want to give it away, but she didn’t want to keep it until it became an antique, either.
Allison massaged her temples. She’d think about the sex part later. She squared her shoulders and resumed her trek down the hallway.
Her steps faltered as she moved past the break room where some of the staff were eating a late lunch. A group of young women—all about her age—sat around the table she’d vacated not even an hour before. They all looked so happy, at ease, comfortable with themselves and one another. She jammed her hands into her pockets and tried to quash the pulling sensation tearing at her gut. She pinched the ball of wrappers, rolling the pebble-sized foil between her thumb and forefinger.
Determination with a smidgeon of desperation surged through her. I can do this. She’d start tonight, right after work. The entire weekend would be devoted to her efforts. Come Monday morning she’d arrive at the office, and there’d be some changes. Some noticeable changes.
Glenda and her cohort Andrea pushed past her. “Hey, Allison,” they said in unison.
“Hey,” she said.
They feigned friendliness, but Allison had seen their attacks on too many others to buy into their fake smiles. Glenda learned your weaknesses, and Andrea helped her go in for the kill. She’d seen them both shred coworkers in the past, although they usually left her alone. More than likely because of Nick.
Allison squared her shoulders as she continued down the hall, forcing her steps to remain light. She swiped her badge to enter her secure work area, tripping over her loose shoelace as she stepped inside the dimly lit room abuzz with computers and rapid key tapping. Kenny, Pete, and Nate didn’t even glance up. But that was nothing new.
She smiled to herself as she pulled out her chair and plopped into the seat, retying her laces and then ty
ping in her password. The chocolate Kisses in the bowl beside her keyboard called her name. She plucked out a tinfoil-wrapped sweet, quickly unwrapped it, and popped the chocolate into her mouth. She dropped the wrapper into her pocket to be added to the ball later.
Her leg bounced quickly underneath her desk and she quieted it with her hand, gripping her knee so tight she actually winced. She glanced around to check if the guys had heard her knee hit the desk. They hadn’t. Nate and Kenny had their earbuds ground so tightly into their heads they probably couldn’t hear themselves think, and Pete always had a glazed expression and seemed to be in his own world.
The chocolate in her mouth grew smaller and smaller as she rolled it around her tongue. Today would be the first day of the rest of her life. Didn’t she have a keychain that said something to that effect?
Gone were the days of dressing for comfort in outdated clothes. No more shopping the clearance rack or browsing the local secondhand store because she feared going into a fashionable clothing boutique.
She chuckled to herself as she sat taller, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear. And no more rushing past makeup counters because she had no clue what to do with lip liner, foundation, or skin toner. She’d ask the clerk for help. No matter how uncomfortable talking to a stranger might be.
The shy girl who broke out in a cold sweat when thrown into social situations would morph into the confident woman who claimed the room with her presence. Jared might have hit the nail on the head when he suggested she stay on top of current events. She’d have plenty of conversation topics. How come I never thought of that?
She knew she couldn’t accomplish everything over one weekend. But she could start with something small. How about two somethings small? Both simple. The makeup counter. And she’d dig out the contacts from her bathroom cabinet and give them another try.
A Friendly Flirtation (Friends First #3) Page 3