Chapter Fourteen
The only way I’m going to get her out of my head is by getting out there and dating.
Jared skimmed through the names in his phone. All the beautiful women he’d come to know over the years. How come he couldn’t find anyone who interested him? Every time he closed his eyes, Allison’s face came into view.
Had she only been gone from Firstline one week? It was the longest fucking week of his life. His empty shell of a life.
Maybe he’d become melodramatic, but he missed her. More than a friend should miss another friend. She invaded his thoughts, dreams, every damn waking moment.
Even now, if he closed his eyes, he smelled cherry blossoms. He could lick his lips and taste her. Feel the soft pressure of her hand in his. He was going to end up going insane if he didn’t get out there and socialize.
The days leading up to her departure, he’d nearly worn a trail in the carpet between her office and his. He wanted to catch a glimpse of her, because she’d made it perfectly clear—by not answering his phone calls and keeping emails strictly professional—that she wasn’t interested in seeing him.
His thumb flicked across the screen of his phone again. The names rushed by in a blur. He needed to concentrate. Of all the women he’d met over the years, there had to be one who he’d want to take to dinner.
He had no choice but to pick someone, before he lost his mind. If he wanted to get Allison out of his head, he needed to spend time with another woman. And soon.
Maybe he needed to take some of his own advice and hit the bar, make himself talk to a woman he’d never met.
He raked his hands through his hair. Thoughts of things he’d done with Allison were what kept her in his head. He needed to stop.
He slid his phone across his desk until it hit the vintage mantel clock that had belonged to his grandfather. He instantly sat forward, rubbed at the wood, and grabbed his phone.
Let’s try this again. The screen on his phone came into focus, and he moved his thumb slowly as he read the names. An endless list of wonderful women, all fun, flirty, and beautiful. But none of them were Allison.
Just pick one. He flicked his thumb across the screen as if he were spinning the Price is Right wheel. Whoever it landed on he’d call.
Not that he was proud of the way he planned to choose his next date, but he had to take the easy way out. Make that first step.
Lynne Grant, you’re the next contestant…
...
Allison tried to hold her smile and keep her mind on what Roy was saying, but all she could see—over Roy’s shoulder—was Jared and some tall, slender redhead taking a seat at a cozy table.
She should’ve chosen another restaurant. This was one of Jared’s favorites, and for some reason coming here kind of gave her a connection to him. If only she’d considered the possibility he might show up as well.
Jared leaned over and whispered something into the beautiful woman’s ear as he helped her into her seat.
Allison’s belly flipped, and the green-eyed monster sat on her chest. The last couple of weeks she’d made a huge effort to avoid any mention of Jared, and now that she’d seen him, she couldn’t look away.
She wiped her mouth and set her napkin beside her plate.
“—then he hit the wrong key and everything he’d just spent the last hour configuring disappeared.” Roy’s dry laughter pounded against her brain.
She could tell herself all day that Roy was a great guy, and he was, but that didn’t make his endless conversations about work any easier to take. They’d started out with so many of the same interests, but the more they talked the more his conversations began to bore her.
She hadn’t wanted to accept when he asked her out on another date. Wasn’t one enough to know? But at the same time she wanted to give things a try. She needed to start somewhere if she were to get Jared out of her mind. Roy was interested. A great guy.
But not a great guy for me. My great guy is sitting with a buxom redhead with a throaty laugh and a perfect body.
Her chest pinched as her attention drifted back across the room to Jared. When would the pain in her heart ease up? She might have left Firstline two weeks ago, but that hadn’t lessened the vivid memories of him. She swore she heard his voice at the office, his smell when she was alone in her apartment, the way he touched her in her dreams.
Her life had become empty. Her days all the same. Nothing held the magic as it had when Jared had been in her life.
She met Roy’s gaze with a smile, wishing she could focus on his drone. What would he do if she took him to a burger joint in the seedy part of town, or if she suggested they play darts in a bar, go out drinking, take up ballroom dancing?
He tossed his napkin onto his plate. “Are you ready? I thought we’d walk back to my apartment and grab an ice cream on the way. It’s the perfect night.”
At least that’s something different. “Ice cream sounds good. And a walk even better. Maybe we could stroll along the lake, or by the museum?”
“Or maybe both.” His playful wink gave her hope. He could be fun. Maybe he just needed to loosen up a little.
She dragged her gaze away from Jared, biting her lower lip when the redhead threw her head back and laughed.
Roy helped her out of her seat and steered her toward the door with his hand at her back. She moved ahead so that he didn’t quite touch her, but she could feel the heat of his palm. For some reason she wasn’t ready for that intimacy, even though it wasn’t all that intimate. The small of her back and her elbow still had Jared’s name tattooed on them. Not Roy’s.
She turned her head to listen to whatever Roy was saying as they neared Jared’s table. Keep walking, keep walking…
Roy nudged her on the shoulder as he slowed his pace, dropping his arm over her shoulders. “Hey, isn’t that Jared?”
Damn.
...
Damn it all to hell. He pasted on a smile as Roy and Allison weaved their way past a few tables in their direction. Lynne spun in her seat, her smile already lighting up her face as she turned toward them.
Jared stood as they stopped at their table, and a quick round of introductions were made. Allison shifted her weight from foot to foot, and he couldn’t keep his eyes from constantly returning to her face.
He’d thought he’d missed her before, but having her within arm’s reach pushed him over the edge. He had to fight to breathe. To keep his hands at his side instead of reaching out to touch her.
“Are you Roy West, from the aquarium?” Lynne’s eyebrow shot up.
Roy nodded, his face beaming. “The one and only.”
How come Jared had never noticed how annoying this guy could be? Especially when he hugged a somewhat reluctant-looking Allison to his side.
“How’s it going, Jared?” Roy asked. “Is Firstline surviving without the amazing Allison in the realm?”
Allison laughed, but it sounded forced. “I’m sure they’re all fine. I hardly ran the place.”
“You are missed, Al.” He shot her what he hoped was a relaxed smile, though relaxed was the last thing he was. Especially as he watched Roy’s fingers draw lazy circles on her shoulder. He shoved his fist into his trouser pocket. “If you ever want your old job back, say the word.”
“Hey, hey,” Roy said around his laughter. “Are you using my tactics and trying to steal back my new employee?”
“If that’s what it takes.” Jared grinned as he reclaimed his seat. He folded the corner of his menu to give his hands something to do. What they wanted to do was shove Roy’s hand off Allison’s shoulder.
Did she like the way he touched her? She looked uncomfortable. Or maybe that was wishful thinking on his part.
He shook off his thoughts and tried to focus on Lynne’s recommendation of the new restaurant across town that served the best prime rib, and Roy commenting that he’d already made reservations for him and Al next week.
“Maybe we could make it a foursome?” Roy quirked his brow.
/> Just what the hell Jared needed. He’d end up decking Roy for sure, and then he’d not only piss off Allison, but Firstline would lose a valuable client.
Jared didn’t miss the surprised rise of Allison’s brow, or the way her jaw ticked as she held her smile in place. God, how had she managed to become even more beautiful in two weeks? She lit up the room. But, hell, when didn’t she?
“That’d be fun. What do you say, Jared?” Lynne shot him a questioning gaze.
“I’ll have my people call your people,” Jared said, making light of the situation. Hell would freeze over before his people did any such thing.
“Sounds good.” Roy shook his hand again. “Well, we won’t keep you. We’re on our way for ice cream and a walk.”
“Sounds lovely,” Lynne said.
Jared gripped his menu tightly, not noticing until the paper was on fire that he’d held it over the large candle in the center of the table.
“Oh, Jared.” Lynne stood, stepping away from the table at the same time he grabbed his water glass and tossed it on the fire. Not only did he put out the fire, but he got Lynne wet in the process.
“Shit. I’m sorry, Lynne.” He stood to help dry her off and tripped into the table, knocking it over as Roy looked like the hero and pulled Allison out of harm’s way.
Jared landed on Lynne, and the table landed on him.
Wait staff rushed toward them from every nook and cranny. Before he could get out another word, Lynne huffed and pushed herself up off the floor with the help of a waiter, grabbed her purse, shot him a look that nearly threw him to the floor a second time, and stormed out the door.
Allison snort-laughed. “Oh my God, Jared. Are you okay?” She grabbed his elbow and looked down into his face. Her eyes sparkled, and he couldn’t stop from laughing. He’d missed laughing with Allison, and for a moment he let himself forget that Roy hovered nearby.
Then the other man cleared his throat. A somber expression filled his face. “You might want to make sure your date is okay.” His gaze shifted from Jared to the door and back again.
“I’d say she’s halfway home at this point.”
Allison stooped to pick up some of the debris, and a waiter came up beside her. “I have this, miss.”
“You sure?”
He nodded and smiled as two other staff members righted the table and swept up the mess.
“You two better make an exit before I knock something else down.” Jared ran his hand through his hair. He felt like an ass, but at the same time he couldn’t stop laughing. And he couldn’t get Allison’s snort out of his head. He loved how she could laugh at life, even in the most uncomfortable of situations.
“Are you sure?” Roy asked, but he was already pulling Allison away.
Jared nodded. “I’ve got this covered. Enjoy your walk and ice cream.”
He watched them leave. His eyes trained on Allison’s back as if he’d never see her again. She turned when they reached the door, a helpless look on her face. One that said she didn’t want to leave him. And he didn’t want her to, but what could he do? Beg her to stay when Roy obviously wanted to get out of the restaurant before they drew any more attention to themselves? Or until Jared knocked over another table and ruined someone else’s date?
He laughed at the role reversal. He’d suddenly become the klutz who tripped over his own feet and could hardly talk in a social setting. Allison had morphed into the confident social butterfly.
Shit, he missed her. Loved her.
Loved her?
Hell yes, he loved her. What kind of idiot was he? If he didn’t love her, why couldn’t he get her out of his head? Every thought focused on her. If that wasn’t love, what was?
His heart raced with excitement—for all of twenty seconds—that’s the amount of time it took for the words to sink in. He loved her, but she didn’t love him.
And that hurt like a motherfucker.
If she loved him, or even had a glimmer of feelings for him, she’d never have wanted to leave Firstline. She wouldn’t be with Roy. She wouldn’t have left him. But she’d made it clear in her actions and words she didn’t share his feelings. That they could never be together.
At least together like he wanted.
Damn it. His wish about finding love had finally come true. He’d figured out what love was. But the woman he’d fallen for hadn’t fallen for him.
...
Allison’s face hurt from smiling. Nick swaggered across the bar toward her. She’d been gone from Firstline less than three weeks, and he wanted to meet to see how she was settling in at her new job.
Her new life.
Her failure.
Not that she’d tell him that.
He planted a kiss on her forehead and slid onto the barstool beside her.
“I ordered you a beer,” she said.
“Great. Thank you.” He took a swallow and leaned forward with his elbows on the bar. “Dad wanted me to tell you that dinner is back to normal next Sunday. He’s so sick of the kitchen he’s made plans to barbecue outside.”
She laughed. “Sounds perfect. I stopped over to see Gramps the other day after work, but Dad was at the hardware store for some part to attach to the sink.”
“The job definitely turned into more than either one of them expected.”
She nodded, sipping her wine.
“So, how’s the new job going?” Nick watched her from the corner of his eye as he took a slug of beer.
She laughed, but the sound rang hollow in her own ears. “It’s going. But I haven’t been there long enough to dish any dirt.”
“But you have to know if you like it.”
“It’s okay.” She found it hard to work up any enthusiasm as she dropped a straw into her glass of wine. She now understood why Colleen preferred the straw method to her drinking. The buzz came quick and hard. There were definitely times when that was a much-needed benefit.
“You don’t sound happy.”
That was the last thing she wanted him to think. “No. No. It’s just that it’s all too new. I’ve barely had time to settle into a routine yet.”
“And how are things going with Roy? I know he’s your boss, and it might be kind of awkward that you’re dating, too, but everything okay?” His probing gaze had suddenly become too much. What if she couldn’t hide the truth?
“He’s a great guy.”
“But?”
She knocked his shoulder with hers. “But nothing.”
“Hmm.” He downed a mouthful of beer. “I know I’ve been ordered to stay out of your life, but you have to remember I know you way too well to believe ‘but nothing.’”
She didn’t want to get into this. Especially now. Especially with Nick. She feared an ugly crying scene if she started revealing her feelings. All she could think about was the emptiness stretching before her. How everything in her colorful world had turned to black and white.
Like a penguin. And this was a penguin she wanted no part of.
“How’s everything at Firstline? Did Kenny get that code figured out? How is—” She caught herself before she asked about Jared. “If you need me to help out Kenny or Nate, I don’t mind.” God, what she wouldn’t give for her old job back. The old people, even Glenda the not-so-good witch. But mainly Jared.
“Everything is fine.” He drew out the words as he studied her. “What’s up, Al?”
Tears burned her eyes, and she took a long draw on her straw. What could she tell him? That she wasn’t interested in her new job, even though she got to eat lunch by the penguin exhibit every day? That she missed her coworkers at Firstline who, for the most part, hadn’t known she’d existed? That she was in love with Jared but didn’t want to come between him and Nick and their business?
“It’s all good. I’m just adjusting.”
“You’d tell me if you weren’t. Right?” He tweaked her nose.
“You’d be the first.” Not only was she unhappy, but she’d become adept at lying.
...
Jared hadn’t slept more than three hours a night since Allison broke the news of her resignation. All he could picture in his head every time he closed his eyes was her smile, all he could hear was her laugh, and all he could smell was cherry blossoms.
He’d pretty much given up on dating. Not that it mattered because, more than likely, Lynne had already tarnished his name in the dating pool. He didn’t have the drive or energy to try to score an evening out. Unless it was with Al.
His psyche had sunk to a new low. Not only did he barely sleep, but he had to remind himself to eat. He seemed to like to torture himself with images of Allison and Roy. The thought that Roy touched her, kissed her, made love to her, drove him over the edge.
As for work, he didn’t even give a shit at this point. He was so miserable nothing mattered. All he wanted was Allison.
He sat back in his desk chair and scrubbed his hands over his face.
If all you want is Allison, then do something about it.
How could he let the woman he loved go without a fight? All because he didn’t try. Didn’t tell her how he felt.
He brought up Google on his laptop and punched in penguins. Had he become so desperate for some connection with Al he’d turned to stalking her addiction? He laughed into the empty office. If Maureen heard him, she’d probably call to have him committed. Not that he cared. At least then he’d be on a schedule, so he’d know when to eat, and maybe they’d give him some type of meds to knock him out so he could sleep a mindless sleep.
He scrolled through several sites. Reading portions aloud, tapping his pen on the surface of his desk.
Maureen came to the door. “Did you need something, Jared?”
He shook his head, and as she turned to leave he called her back. “Did you know some penguins mate for life?”
She grinned. “If we’re going to trade penguin trivia, did you know the king penguin sings to his mate?”
“Hmm.” He slouched over his desk, thrusting his chin into his palm. “I wonder what he sings.”
“A love ballad, I’m sure.”
“Classic rock, maybe.”
They laughed.
“My son actually went online not long ago and purchased a special stone to give to his girlfriend before he proposed. He’d read that one kind of penguin will search the beach for the perfect stone to present to a female penguin. If she accepts, they are mates for life.”
A Friendly Flirtation (Friends First #3) Page 21