by Sierra Rose
I hugged him as tears flowed freely, the back of my throat constricted with emotion. Hugging Jake was the best feeling in the whole world, and I began to sob uncontrollably. It wasn’t like me at all to lose my cool, but I couldn’t help it. Just hours earlier, I’d thought I’d never see him again.
* * *
So we could be close to Jake, his parents and I got a hotel room right next to the hospital. For the next five days, we spent every minute with him. He was holding his own. His incision was healing, his tests came back positive, and his vital signs remained strong.
“I’m so glad you two found each other once again,” Jake’s mom said, “and please know that I harbor no ill feelings toward your family for this. Your mother did what she felt was right.”
I found her words to be an odd statement, and I turned to face her. “Why would you be mad at my family? Jake ran off after they spent thousands of dollars on our wedding.”
“True, but that would’ve never happened had your mother not paid Jake off.”
A chill shot down my spine. “Paid him off? What are you talking about?” I said, trying to grasp the meaning of her words. The more I pondered, the more heat burned in my face. “What?”
Chapter 20
Jake’s mother threw a hand over her mouth as she looked at Jake. “You’re back together now, so I was sure you told her, Jakey!”
His lips pressed into a grim line. “No, Mom.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea.” She looked up at her husband. “George, we’d better go. Jake and Ashly need to talk.”
“Wait…told me what? What’s going on?” I demanded.
“You should’ve told her son,” his dad said, “right from the get-go.”
“Jake,” I whispered once his parents were out of the room, “were you paid not to marry me?”
He sighed. “I should’ve told you everything.”
I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “So tell me now.”
“I planned on marrying you, Ashly. I had no intention of leaving that day, but your mother…well, she stopped by the house after you left for the church.” He paused and ran a hand through his hair.
“Just tell me, Jake.”
“She knew I was facing a four-year prison term for those assault charges, but she said she had connections, that she knew some judge who could get the charges dropped. All I had to do was leave and walk out of your life forever. At first, I refused, but she went on and on about how I’d never fit in with your family. She told me I’d only bring you down and that if I truly loved you—which I do—that I would give you your freedom and let you find someone better, someone more ‘suitable,’ as she put it. She made it clear that you deserved more than what I could give you.”
A tear rolled down my face. “Jake, I had no idea.”
“Then she handed me a million dollars in cash to start a new life.”
I gasped. The whole thing was so absurd, like something out of some horrible soap opera, that I wasn’t even sure if I believed it. “Why would my mother do that to you? To me, on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life?”
“I don’t know, but she did.”
My mouth dropped opened, but no words would come out as confusion took its hold, and I pondered everything. My mom had hated Jake from the very beginning. She’d tried everything to break us up, and when nothing worked, she resorted to bribery. My knees shook, and I felt like I would pass out. “So the charges would be dropped, and you’d be free and filthy rich, able to run off and travel the world without me?”
“I didn’t go anywhere until I found you again.”
“Well, somehow, you burned through a million dollars of my mom’s money, then came back for more. How dare you take half of my inheritance after what you did to me? It’s…despicable.”
“I never asked for that.”
My cheeks burned as anger flooded through me.
“Ashly, I didn’t—”
“Whatever we had, Jake, it’s over. It was obviously bullshit anyway. You just wanted to pick my mom’s pockets a little deeper, and you used me to do it! Goodbye, Jake Connors. I never wanna see you again!” I said, then stood to leave.
“But you said you forgive me, and we—”
“That was only because you made up some lame excuse, telling me you left me because you were young and not ready to get married. You failed to mention that my mother paid you and that you were more than happy to take the money and run. Instead of standing up to her and declaring your undying love, you were happy to cash in and walk away from me forever! That kills me more than anything. You just gave up on our love over stupid money and a get-out-of-jail free card. All along, I’ve thought you were some kind of big-hearted hero underneath all that arrogance, but you’re really just a cocky, selfish jerk!”
“Fine! I was an idiot!” he yelled.
“You left me standing there in that beautiful gown that I’d picked out especially for you. You left me there by myself, embarrassed and humiliated, with all of my friends and relatives staring at me, demanding an explanation. You knew I was there, waiting to say our wedding vows so we could spend the rest of our lives together, but you gave all that up for a cool million.” Then a thought struck me. “Oh my gosh, Jake! Back at the beach in Puerto Rico, you questioned why I didn’t get those loans.” I pointed at him. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew what my mother was capable of. She paid those banks to deny my application, just like she paid you off! That’s how you knew!” It hurt to know my mother could do such things to me, that she could manipulate me even beyond the grave. She’d taken away the man I loved, and she’d even tried to squash my dreams of creating my own line of clothing by cutting me off financially. I knew she thought she was doing it all for my own good, but it was my life to live, not hers, and I was furious. I began to wonder what else she was keeping from me. “Everything had to fit into her perfect little world,” I seethed. “I should have set boundaries and taken control of my life.”
I ran my hands through my hair as a horrible thought struck me: Did she pay off my boyfriend, Robert Matary, in New York? Did she sabotage his business and give him a huge payout to dump me? The thought was sickening. Did she pay off all the others too? I was convinced that my mother didn’t want me to find happiness. She wanted me to be lonely and dependent on her. I had always known that, but I had no idea she was capable of going so far. I knew she loved me in her own deranged, manipulative, controlling way, but I’d never been angrier with her, and the worst part was that I couldn’t even confront her to ask her why. My stomach clenched again, and I felt disgusted.
“Ashly,” Jake said, “I love you, and I know you love me too. Don’t let something that happened five years ago destroy what we’ve found together.”
“I hope you get better soon.”
“Don’t leave. What about all our plans?”
“Like Mike Tyson once said, ‘Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth.’”
“Ashly,” he pleaded, “don’t do this.”
“I do care about you, Jake, and I hope you have a speedy recovery,” I said, my voice trembling with hurt and anger. “Someday, you’re gonna make some girl very happy.” A tear slipped down my face. “Somewhere in there, there’s a beautiful person, even if you’re not the guy for me. I hope you have a good life. Maybe someday, we’ll be friends again.”
“But Ashly—”
I held up my hand to silence him, then walked out of the hospital, paid a taxi to take me back to the hotel room, and packed up. I booked the fastest flight I could and was back home before nighttime. Tiger, my cat greeted me, and I burst into tears that lasted all night long.
Chapter 21
A month later, I sat in my lawyer’s office and twiddled my fingers. I had been informed that Jake had made a full recovery and was doing quite well. I never answered his calls and refused to open the door when he knocked on it. He sent me dozens of flowers and letters, but I always returned them to the sender
.
The door cracked open, and Jake walked in, and I refused to even look at him. “Listen,” he said, “I don’t want the money. I only came so you wouldn’t get cheated out of your inheritance.”
I looked at my lawyer. “Just let him have it. I have more than enough to get my business started.”
“No, Ashly,” Jake said. “I want to give my half to you.”
My lawyer looked at him. “We can do that, but I have to advise you, Mr. Connors—”
“You don’t have to advise me of anything. Just give it all to her,” Jake said. “It’s hers anyway. And after what I’ve done, I don’t deserve a dime. I just want Ashly to be happy. It’s what her mother would have wanted, and I don’t need the money anyway. I lived that lifestyle once, but it wasn’t for me. I’m more of a Texas kind of guy. I just wanna buy a ranch someday.”
“What didn’t you buy one with your blood money?” I asked.
“Because I was a dumb kid and burned right through it,” he said. “In the end, I learned that I don’t ever want to be filthy rich. It’s just not for me. I don’t mind the simple life. I guess that’s why I never came back to New York City.”
“Well, I hope you find whatever you’re looking for. In the meantime, thanks for letting me have my inheritance. How very noble of you.”
“Good luck with your business and all your dreams, Ashly.”
“What are your plans?” I asked, trying to remain civil.
His mouth pressed into a hard line. “To get out of this city as fast as I can.”
“You don’t have to leave on my account,” I said. “New York is big enough for the two of us.”
His frown deepened. “I can’t handle running into you, Ashly. It hurts way too much, and you’ve made your feelings clear.”
“Please have a seat, Mr. Connors,” the attorney requested. “My assistant is bringing in a video diary from Ashly’s mother.”
With a deep sigh, Jake sat down as a silver cart was wheeled in and set up. The assistant started the video, and I leaned back in my chair, anxious to hear my mother’s voice one last time.
“Hello, Ashly and Jake. If you’re watching this, I’ve already passed on, and you’ve traveled around the world together, taking pictures.” She leaned closer to the camera. “I’m sure you’re probably more confused than ever now, aren’t you, kiddos?”
As if she could see and hear me, I nodded my head and said, “Yes, Mom.”
“Ashly, I scrutinized every decision you ever made because I wanted your life to turn out perfect and not be full of pain, as mine was. My mother never cared about me, and I’ve done things in the past that have hurt everyone around me. But when you were born and I held you in my arms, I made a promise to protect you and to make sure you didn’t make bad decisions. I did it because I loved you that much. It is no secret that I’ve never liked Jake, but nothing I’ve ever done could break you two up. On your wedding day, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I knew it would hurt you, but if he was willing to take the deal, that would only prove what I’ve thought all along, that he is a loser. In a way, it was a test. Part of me hoped he’d tell me where to go, but he didn’t.”
I looked at Jake, and he glanced down at the floor, ashamed.
“Part of the deal was that he was not allowed to say goodbye or to contact you ever again. I never wanted to see that sleazebag again, and I figured you’d get over him in time, maybe a year or so or even two. But you never got over him, baby. When five years had gone by and you were still crying on New Year’s Eve, I knew I had royally broken your heart and messed your life up. I wondered how I could do something like that, how I could have stolen your happiness right out from under you. I guess I didn’t realize how deep your love was for him. All along, I’d just thought he was a bad-boy, high school crush, something you’d outgrow when you came to your senses. Of course your daddy never said anything because I ruled the roost. I controlled your father, and he did whatever I told him to do. He was so angry with me and made me swear that I’d fix it. You never got over it, and your father was certain that if I hadn’t meddled in your personal affairs, you two would have been happily married with four grandbabies for me to spoil. His words tore at my heart, and when he passed away, I wondered how I could make his last wishes come true. When the cancer came into my life, I knew I knew I had to make things right. I hired a private investigator to gather information. He told me Jake was single and not in a serious relationship. The P.I. weaseled his way into a conversation with Jake, and Jake told him he’d left the love of his life and had never stopped thinking about her. That Jake said he’d never love any woman the way he loves a girl named Ashly. Once I knew that, I knew I had to find a way to put the two of you back together. Then I remembered your plans to travel the globe.” She let out a long sigh and smiled. “You two talked all the time about going to Paris and on safari, going to Mosquito Bay, and seeing all the sites in so many places. I was sure there was no way you would go, Ashly, after he’d broken your heart, so I came up this idea to force you. I figured if you two traveled the world like you always dreamt about, maybe the spark would happen again. I was pretty sure it would work, especially since I was sending you to all the most romantic locations on Earth. Now that you’re back, I hope my plan helped you fall in love all over again.”
Tears streamed down my face. “It didn’t turn out that way, Mom.”
“Jake,” she said, “that job transfer you got was all me. I made that happen. I paid off the fire chief and made some big donations to the city. I also bought all that new equipment for your firehouse to help convince them. I needed you to return to New York, to find the love of your life again, my lonely and heartbroken little girl.” She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m so sorry for the way I behaved toward you, young man, and I’m sorry for messing with your life so much. What I did to you on your wedding day was just awful. I hope one day you can learn to forgive me, for I am truly sorry. Ashly, I’m so sorry for the pain I caused. I now know that I did wrong, and I should have told you in person, but I couldn’t bear for you to hate me during my last days. I did try to tell you a couple of times, but I couldn’t go through with it. The words just wouldn’t come out. I thought about writing a letter, but then I realized this would be a more personal way. I hope you can forgive me too, darling, and I hope I’ve helped to bring you back together, my small way of undoing all the hurt I’ve caused. Now, if things went according to plan, my lovely lawyer will now give something to Jake.”
The lawyer stopped the DVD and handed Jake a small black box.
He opened it and his eyes widened in shock. “It’s an engagement ring,” he said.
The lawyer pressed the play button on the DVD again.
“Jake, if everything has gone according to plan, you have my blessing to propose to my daughter again. Ashly, I hope you can forgive him for what he did. You love each other, and you should forget the past and enjoy a fantastic future together. And don’t forget about those grandbabies! I want four or five of them.” She smiled widely.
“You don’t have to ask,” I said to Jake. “This just feels so…forced.” I looked at the television. “She’s still trying to control me. I can’t believe she planned this whole thing.”
“It isn’t forced, Ashly. I want to propose,” Jake whispered, getting on one knee. “Will you make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?”
I stared into his eyes as he anxiously awaited my answer. I felt way too much pressure, and the whole thing seemed so contrived and unnatural. My emotions were all over the place. I couldn’t promise him something I couldn’t commit to. Maybe what we had wasn’t anything at all, but I knew there was no way I’d ever forget him. “I just…I can’t. I’m so sorry.”
“Then I’m leaving, Ashly. I’m going back to Texas tomorrow. My flight leaves at two, and when I leave, I’m never coming back. It’s now or never.”
A tear rolled down my face, and I cupped his face. “I just want y
ou to be happy, to have a good life.”
“That will never happen without you by my side.”
“It’s too late for us, Jake. My mother should’ve known better.”
“But her plan worked, Ashly. We fell in love, and—”
“Sometimes love isn’t enough.”
He kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry you feel that way. Goodbye, Ashly.”
“I’m gonna need you to sign those papers first,” my lawyer said.
Jake looked at me. “It’s all yours, and I don’t regret any of it. I always wondered what it’d be like to hold you in my arms again, and now I know.” He had never looked so sad, heartbroken, and hurt.
“Goodbye, Jake,” I said, then ran out of the office.
When I got home, Jake didn’t even call or come over. I knew by the look in his eyes that he was done with me, and I was sure I’d never see him again.
* * *
Nadia had been dying to see my vacation pictures, so the next morning, she came over and looked through them. I had printed them out on my printer with Kodak paper. “They’re gorgeous,” she said. “Oh! Look at you two kissing in the rain with that gorgeous lava lake in the background. And just look at that gorgeous man dipping you as he passionately kisses his beloved. That has to be the most romantic picture I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“I guess I’ll tuck them away with all the others in the basement.”
“Why?” she asked. “I think this one would go great on the mantel above the fireplace.”
I stared down at the picture of us in France. “See this one? Jake bought me a flower from every vendor we passed in Paris. By the time I got back to the hotel room, I had an entire bouquet that barely fit into the vase.”
“How romantic!” She walked over and put the picture on the mantel. “This one is gorgeous too. I’ll buy you a silver frame, and you’re good to go.”
I shot her a confused look. “Have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying here? Jake and I aren’t together. He’s leaving soon, hightailing it back to Texas.”