Allison and the Torrid Tea Party: A Dark Reverse Harem Romance (Harem of Hearts Book 2)

by C. M. Stunich

  “Makes some sort of perverted sense,” I say as Raiden Walker strides down a small dirt path that winds through a path of daffodils, as bright and cheerful as the morning sunshine. “But aren’t we going to, uh, nibble some FUCKING EAT ME cakes and get big again?” I can’t help it; my eyes find the gardeners again, as large to me now as North was to me in his jabberwock form.

  “Not until we get into the castle,” March tells me, tossing his apple core onto the ground … and then receiving a middle finger from one of the flowers. He flips it off right back as my mouth hangs open and I stick close to the Duke’s side. I figure if someone comes close to stepping on us, he could shift into his jabberwock form and he’d be at least the size of a small dog, right? “If any of the guards see us here now, they’ll probably stick us all full of arrows before we get a chance to explain.”

  “Oh, well, that makes me feel better,” I snarl as Dor takes up the rear and we trudge on through the garden. At this rate, it feels like it’ll take days to get to the castle. Shit, it probably will. And my thighs are wet, and I’m wearing a flimsy, damp nightgown. The Duke is naked, and neither of us is wearing shoes.

  “You’ll see, when you meet the King,” North says, drawing my attention over to him. “Becoming the Queen of Hearts, that’ll heal all of Underland.” I narrow my eyes on him, trying not to think too hard about the wild, angry mating session we just had. That’s a problem for later. Right now, I just want to get into the castle, shower, and put some damn clothes on.

  I don’t bother to tell the Duke that first chance I get, I’m bailing through the Looking-Glass. And not just because I’m afraid he’ll try to stop me. No, it’s more than that. I don’t even know if I want to go back anymore. I make a rough, low sound in my throat and put my hands up to my face.

  The Duke doesn’t say anything else for a while, but he does curl his tail around my ankle. I let him do it, too, even though I grit my teeth. I guess seeing him comatose with a hunk lopped off the side of his head endeared the asshole to me more than I care to admit.

  We walk like that for several hours, beneath the lush jungle-like folds of … a well-manicured flower garden. But from down here, it all seems so wild and untamed, so dangerous. The rocking-horse flies and bread-and-butterflies look like fucking monsters. They don’t seem interested in us though, and North stays fairly calm as we walk, so I decide to relax my shoulders a bit and just marvel at the idea that I am this tiny. How cool is that? Besides, if I really need to, I have that mushroom meat stuffed in the Vorpal Blade sheath. I can pull it out at any time and return to my normal size.

  For the next few hours, we walk in silence, the sunshine filtering through the leaves.

  Occasionally, I hear Dor mumble something rude and violent behind us, but I ignore him. Seems like Raiden and March have him on a pretty short leash anyway.

  Sometime later, just before we reach the edge of a white gravel pathway—a full-sized one that looks like a hundred mile stretch of white desert at this height—I hear the thundering of footsteps. It’s like a herd of elephants barreling down on us, and I shrink back, unintentionally putting myself against the Duke’s naked front. He’s half-hard, too, and stabbing me in the lower back with his dick.

  First come ten soldiers carrying swords; they’re all dressed in red, black, and white livery decorated with hearts, their faces severe, mouths in tight, thin lines. Next, ten courtiers: they’re all ornamented in dresses and jewels and fine shoes, cloaks billowing out behind them. I’ve never even seen such a prissy, spoiled looking group of people.

  Oh. Wait.

  An old memory of Ellie Arkley—showing up to the first day of school in a stretch Hummer limo, dressed in a pair of ten thousand dollar shoes and an outfit that could purchase a homeless family a decent place to live—springs to mind like a weed. I remember her glittering diamond earrings, plastic surgery smile, and eight hundred dollar haircut, and almost puke.

  Yep.

  That’s what these people remind me of, privilege and unchecked wealth and greed.

  I’ll see when I meet the King, huh? Yeah right. If these are just the courtiers, then I’m sure the King is a nightmare. And how could I ever like a man who treats the twins the way he does? No, no matter what happens with the Looking-Glass and the prophecy and my staying here … this King and I are never going to get along.

  After that horrid procession moves by, I finally catch sight of him.

  The King of Hearts … and beside him, the White Rabbit.

  “Rab!” I shout, tearing from North’s arms and stumbling out onto the white gravel. He doesn’t seem to notice or hear me, so I shove the silken folds of my dressing gown out of the way, flip open the small leather pouch on the side of the sheath and take out a bit of mushroom meat. I used my fingernail to carve a ‘B’ into one and an ‘S’ into the other—for big and small.

  Taking a small nibble from the ‘B’ side—I learned a lot from reading the original Alice books, and I know not to take too much, too fast—I feel myself rise up into the air, like I’m on the rope dangling from Twinkle the Bat’s massive hooked claws. My stomach lurches, and I almost scream, but then everything is snapping into place and I’m staring into Rab’s red eyes.

  “Miss Alice,” he whispers, his ears twitching on his head.

  I don’t even get a moment to breathe before the King is putting a blade to my neck with so much force that I feel a drop of hot, red blood leak down my throat and chest.

  “Your Majesty,” Rab growls, putting up his white-gloved hands in a placating gesture. “Please, calm yourself. This is the Alice.”

  “My name is Allison, so please Your Majesty,” I snarl out between clenched teeth, my eyes meeting the dark irises of the King of Hearts. His hair is blood-red, his scar ragged and white in the sunlight. I’ve never seen such a handsome face, but my God, what a complete and total prick. Even though his advisor is standing right there, telling him who I am—the girl he supposedly wants to marry—he holds his blade in place for so long that I start to sweat, beads of moisture mixing with the blood leaking from my throat.

  When he finally pulls back, he turns his mouth into this disgustingly triumphant smirk, sheathing his blade at his waist and planting his hands on his hips. He gives me a very slow, very unnecessary once-over and then nods, like I’m a bit of horseflesh that’s met his stern and calculating approval.

  This guy … he can go fuck himself with his royal scepter for all I care, shove it right up his ass to join the stick that’s already clearly wedged there.

  “The Alice,” the King breathes, ignoring my previous proclamation. Eh, so what’s new? Not a single person here has listened to me about my name … except for Tee.

  Speaking of … Behind the King and Rab, just off to the right and down another white gravel path, a set of double doors swings open and there they are, my twins.

  My twins?

  Uh-oh.

  “Allison-who-isn’t-Alice!” Dee shouts, taking off across the gravel and grabbing me before I can take two steps toward him. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me so tight and close that my feet come right off the ground. His wings are nowhere in sight—they couldn’t possibly be, since I wasn’t around to free them—but he’s smiling so big and wide that I can’t help but smile back. “Oh, you gave us quite the scare.”

  “Quite the scare,” Tee chokes out from beside his brother, his amethyst eyes locked on mine, the sun catching on his purple-streaked black hair. His brother kisses me before I can get another word out, burying his tongue in my mouth and making me groan. He isn’t shy about his hands either, groping my ass in two tight handfuls. I encourage it by leaning into him, rubbing up against his body and lifting my nightie a bit on the process. Enjoy that show, you assholes, I think, smirking as I continue my kiss with the angel prince.

  I don’t think Dee’s intention is to break the curse—his kiss is too pure—but that’s what happens anyway. In two brilliant bursts of sapphire light, Dee’s wings explode
from his back, pushing up his trench coat and tearing through his black and white striped shirt. There’s a collective gasp from the courtiers waiting up ahead on the path, hiding like the little blue-blooded bitches they are behind a row of guards.

  Oh. They don’t like seeing how princely and perfect their slave really is, do they? Too damn bad.

  I pretend not to notice the genteel gasps and mutters, pulling away from the kiss with a laugh dancing in my heart and tingling on my lips. I even take a moment to brush some blue and black strands of hair from Dee’s forehead. The tension is thick enough to cut with a knife, but I make sure I look him in the eyes to let him know that to me, he matters. His expression is equal parts worry and fear, but he still manages a smile.

  “You son of a bitch,” I breathe, pushing him back a little, so I can get some air. He lets me go, and then his brother and I stand there awkwardly for a moment before I embrace Tee, too. It surprises me how happy I am to see him, and I find myself rubbing my cheek against his chest as he curls his fingers around the back of my head and pulls me close.

  “I’m glad you’re safe, Allison,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. His hot breath stirs my hair, and I shiver slightly. “And I’m sorry that we failed to keep you safe …”

  “Oh, cheer up, would you?” an ice-cold voice says from behind me, and I whirl around to see the Mad Hatter rising up from the edge of the flowerbed. The King goes to put his sword to the man’s throat, same way he did me, but Raiden just laughs and knocks it aside, throwing up some sort of magic shield to catch a good two-dozen arrows aimed for his back.

  Soldiers rush up and surround him as I dive forward and just narrowly manage to protect the Duke from being trampled. My reward is to get kicked in the face, have my leg stepped on, and end up almost getting killed myself when a jumpy soldier shoots an arrow at my back.

  “Enough!” the King screams, throwing his arm wide and sending the soldiers scurrying back. Most of them drop to one knee. All of them except one, tall, blonde woman with a serious fucking attitude problem. Her eyes catch mine for just the briefest of moments before I hear Raiden Walker chuckling behind me.

  I glance back over my shoulder and find that it was him who snatched the projectile that was aimed for my back out of mid-air, his other hand help up and brimming with a magic shield to keep Rab and the twins back.

  “Relax, relax, everyone,” he purrs as I scoop the Duke into my hand and leave the March Hare and Dormouse on the ground. I also inadvertently saved them, too, but North is the only one I care about. I tuck him to my chest and then offer up the bit of mushroom flesh still clutched in my left hand. I forgot I was holding it, and it’s a bit squished now, but it works. “You see, the Alice, why I didn’t want to make such a fuss? Now you’ve ruined my grand entrance.”

  The Duke of Northumbria gives the mushroom a lick, and then he’s toppling into me, knocking me onto my back and giving me a very vivid reminder of the sex we just had. We exchange a long, languid look before he finally stands up and pulls me along with him.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” Tee snaps before the King gives him a look. Tee curls his lip up in a snarl, but he steps back … even though his eyes go straight to mine and his hand hovers at the knife on his hip. I feel a little guilty, having had sex with North. I should tell Tee and Dee, first chance I get.

  “Me?” Raiden says with a smirk and a cocky little head tilt. “I’m just delivering both the Alice and your precious Duke.” A moment later, the March Hare and Dormouse sprout to life behind the Mad Hatter’s shield. In fact, all five of us are trapped inside of it.

  “Explain yourselves,” the King says in a surprisingly level voice. His dark eyes are as cool and even as granite, his shoulders relaxed. While everyone else looks like they’re about to turn this into a brawl, he looks like he’s about to take tea. Well, maybe not boosted tea, but like tea back home. Normal fucking tea. “What do you want Hatter?”

  “Your pet Duke here,” Raiden begins, letting his marmalade orange gaze slide over to North. “He guaranteed me you’d match his generous donation of say … five hundred thousand coins, and the Alice here—the Alice, mind you—has also promised me her hand in marriage.” He turns back to the King, but there’s still no emotion brewing in the man’s eyes.

  “Bargains made under duress are no bargain at all,” Tee snaps as Dee curls his lip in agreement, reaching up to adjust the peaked cap on his head. His wings cast beautiful shadows on the pavement in front of his feet.

  “No bargain at all,” he agrees, his sapphire eyes lighting on mine. I don’t know what the hell this magic shield is that’s separating us, but nobody seems willing to approach it, so I don’t either. Instead, I hang back and wait to see how these politics play themselves out.

  No chance in fucking fuck that I’m going to marry the Mad Hatter, but I’m also not going to tell him that while I’m standing inside some magic spell he’s just cast.

  “I can leave right now?” Raiden asks, pulling off one top hat, and then another, and then another. He tousles his dark wavy hair with his fingers, but just keeps smiling, like he knows he’s already got this one in the bag. “Leave the Duke with a musking jabberwock, and turn the Alice into the King of Clubs like I’d originally planned.”

  “Stand down,” the King says, lifting a gloved hand in the air. It’s covered in rings that sparkle with an unnatural light, like there’s so much more going on here than first appears. I feel a sigh come over the courtyard as the courtiers stop tittering, and the soldiers rise to their feet to put their bows away. A quick glance up at the walls and the turrets shows me dozens of other soldiers relaxing their postures—pretty much all of them are women, by the way.

  The monarch licks his lips and then flicks his eyes down my front before turning back to Raiden.

  “I’ll have a page show you to a guest room. Clean up. Have something to eat. Join me on the lawn for croquet—both of you. Duke, with me, if you please.”

  The King gives me one last look, his dark eyes meeting my blue ones, before he spins away in a sea of red and black robes, Rab catching my attention before he moves off after him, dressed in a waistcoat and pinstripe slacks.

  The shield around us comes down, and nobody tries to stop North and me when we move out of that bubble and over to the twins. Dee puts his arm around my waist in a semi-possessive but also comforting sort of way.

  “Let’s get you some food,” he says as my tummy rumbles, and I put a palm over the front of my nightgown. Dee rubs his coat sleeve against my throat to clean off the blood from the King’s knife as I glance briefly at North, still gloriously naked and not giving two flying fucks about any of it. He meets my eyes, and I find myself biting my lower lip in a flirtatious sort of way. Gross. Edith would make so much fun of me if she could see me in my current state—panty-less and making come-hither faces at a dragon.

  “I suppose I should tend to the King,” North says, but the way he looks at me makes me think he’d rather be tending to me. I shiver and Dee cocks a dark eyebrow in my direction. Ah. Clearly I have some explaining to do. “Take your time and fetch yourself a pair of knickers.” He flashes a sharp grin at me as my cheeks heat and I narrow my eyes on him. “I’ll keep the wanker occupied and be waiting for you when you come down.” He reaches out with the long, muscular length of his tail, tucking my hair behind my ear with the tip before he turns and moves down the path in the direction of some rolling green lawns.

  “Something’s changed between you,” Tee says, drawing my attention back to him. He doesn’t sound upset though, just … curious. And relieved. God, if I could bottle up his relief and sell it, I’d be a millionaire back home.

  The thought makes me smile.

  “Food sounds good,” I say, finally responding to Dee’s statement, “but I’d prefer a shower and some fresh clothes first, if you’ve got any.”

  “Your wish is my command,” Dee says, keeping his arm around me but affecting a little half-bow
as he sweeps his hat off his head. The feathers of his wing brush against my bare back and make me shiver as he stands up straight and folds them tightly together.

  As we walk away, I look back and see the Mad Hatter, watching me with a smirk on his face and a wink at the ready.

  He gives it to me nice and slow, theatrical, and then we turn the corner to head inside and he disappears from view.

  "I was so fucking worried about you," Dee says, hugging me close and making me go all warm and fuzzy inside. The feel of his hard muscles pressing against the thin fabric of my nightie is nice in so many ways. I missed him, weird as that sounds. I mean, we were only separated for a day. Not even, really. But it feels like an eternity. I guess the thought that I might be raped and killed has sort of … shifted my priorities.

  "We were so fucking worried about you," Tee says, standing straight and tall and proud on my other side. He's looking dead ahead, toward a set of double wood doors that are standing wide open. On the outside, he's all calm, quiet strength; on the inside, I can see him fuming. When he flicks his aubergine eyes in my direction, I can tell he’s scared shitless, too—or was.

  For me.

  Tee was scared for me.

  "Worried, anxious, distraught, broken, twisted …" Dee pauses and adjusts his hat with his left hand, shifting his wings around in the process. Before I can think better of it, I reach out and ruffle the feathers, making him shiver. He casts me a lascivious little wink and tosses a smile my way that’s only slightly tainted by worry. My disappearance really messed with their heads, didn’t it? Just like you’re starting to care about them, they’re starting to care about you, I think and then shake my head to clear it.

  How can I really care about someone I just met? How can they care about me? And yet … I study Dee's blue military jacket, the silver heart buttons, the tight black denim jeans, and the leather belt with his knife hanging off it. His mouth is pinched just a little too much, his eyes are just a tad too hooded.