by Marie Force
“John! Put me down! Are you crazy?”
“Yes, I’m crazy about you, and I can’t have your weak knees causing a fall.”
“Put me down. Right now, before you fall.”
I feel stronger than Superman as I walk us inside and take the first available seat, landing in an upholstered chair with her on my lap.
“You’re officially insane. You have a concussion, and you shouldn’t—”
I kiss the words right off her lips, even if I love being chastised by her. I love the way she melts into my arms as we kiss. I love being with her. I love her honesty and her forthright approach to life. I love that she still wears her retainer and that she’s such a good girl. I love that she’s gone way out on a limb to be with me.
“Poppy,” I whisper against her lips. “I’m absolutely and completely falling for you. Please don’t worry about anything, okay?”
Her lovely eyes sparkle with emotion. “I’m absolutely falling for you, too.”
For the longest time, we only stare at each other. She seems as stunned as I feel. The moment is interrupted by a knock on the door.
“That’ll be dessert.”
“I’ll get it.” She gets up off my lap and crosses the room to let in the room service waiter.
As I watch her go, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have a woman like her care about me. I’m determined to keep the promises I just made to her, no matter what happens.
And when she exclaims over the chocolate cake I ordered, I have my answer about something else I wanted to know.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
JULIANNE
Everything is different after our conversation on the terrace. We took a major step forward tonight, and I feel more settled after he assured me that I’m the one he wants, that this isn’t a rebound but the start of something much more significant. Hours later, we’re in his bed, on our sides, facing each other after making love. To call it anything else wouldn’t do justice to the most intimate encounter of my life.
“Tell me something no one else knows about you.”
He runs his hand up and down my arm as he thinks about that. “I don’t know my real name.”
“John West isn’t your name?” I’m shocked by his confession.
“Nope. I was left at a fire station in West Hollywood. That’s where the West came from. I think one of the nurses at the hospital they took me to decided my first name would be John. I have no clue who my parents were or the circumstances of my birth or how I came to be at a West Hollywood fire station.”
“I can’t begin to know what it must feel like to have no idea where you came from.”
“It’s weird. For the first eighteen years of my life, I felt very disconnected from the world around me. I started getting into trouble, and then I encountered the judge who gave me a choice that changed my life. I always give him credit for saving my life. After I enlisted, I found the connection I’d been missing. I immediately loved it. I worked really hard, got my degree at night and on weekends, went through an officer program, became a SEAL. I loved everything about it until this last deployment. Now I just want to be done with it.”
“Your story is so inspiring.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“It is.”
He continues to stroke my arm and back, as if he can’t help but touch me. “I made a lot of mistakes along the way. What I did to Ava was the worst of them.”
“You said you couldn’t tell her anything, right?”
“I wasn’t supposed to have a girlfriend. I didn’t tell her what she needed to know, and I should have. I was tortured by what would become of her after I left. She was all I thought about the entire time I was gone. I was a selfish asshole where she was concerned, and I hate that I put her through such a hideous ordeal. I’ll always feel bad about that.”
“You didn’t want to lose her. You’d never had anyone else to call your own.” I understand him and their relationship better after what he shared.
“No, I hadn’t, and I didn’t handle it the way I should have.”
“What would you do differently if you had it to do over?”
“As soon as I realized it was serious with her, which was basically almost as soon as I met her, I should’ve gone to my command and come clean, asked to be reassigned. I would’ve taken a big hit career-wise, but with hindsight, that’s what I should’ve done.”
He doesn’t say it, but the implication is clear. If he’d done that, they’d be married today.
I swallow hard, trying to manage the lump in my throat. The only reason I’m here with him, the only reason I met him, was because of her and the pain she endured for years. The thought is humbling, to say the least.
My phone rings in the other room, startling me. Why is she calling me after midnight? “I gotta get that. It’s Marcie.”
“Is it okay for me to say that she’s a pain in the ass?”
Laughing, I get out of bed. “It’s more than okay. She’s a total pain.” I grab the phone right before the call would’ve gone to voicemail. “Hey. What’s up?”
“I’d like to ask you the same thing.”
Why does she sound pissed? “Not sure what you mean.”
“Why does TMZ have a picture of you kissing your client?”
My stomach drops, and my heart nearly stops. “What?”
“Did you or did you not dine with him at Roma on the East Side and kiss him in plain view of the whole freaking world?”
“Uh, I’ve got to go.”
“Julianne! Don’t you dare hang up on me.”
“I’ll call you back.” I end the call before she can reply. My hands are shaking as I call up the TMZ website, where the picture of us is at the top of the page. “Captain Hunky and the Governor’s Daughter.” Oh God. Oh no.
My personal phone starts ringing and chiming with texts.
“Jules? What’s wrong?”
John’s voice sounds like it’s coming from a million miles away rather than the next room. I can barely hear him over the roar in my own ears. He comes out of the bedroom, gloriously naked, beautiful and concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“Someone got a picture of us at the pizza place. It’s on TMZ.” I hand the phone to him.
“Fuck,” he mutters as he sits next to me.
“Marcie is pissed. I have to call her back. I don’t know what to say.”
“Quit and come to work with me. I’m going to need you far beyond the next few weeks. Whatever you’re making with them, I’ll raise you twenty percent and pay for health benefits and anything you want.”
I stare at him as my brain struggles to catch up with what he’s saying. “I can’t just quit my job.”
He tips his head. “Why not?”
“Because! I’m in line to be a junior partner and…” And I can’t quit the best job I’ve ever had for a man I’ve known for three weeks. I can’t do that, because it would be insane.
“Poppy.” He takes my hand and looks at me with those blue eyes that see me in a way I’ve never been seen before. “Quit. I swear to God, you won’t regret it.”
The Marcie ringtone jolts me out of the stupor he’s put me into by being naked, gorgeous and so very convincing.
He takes the phone off my lap and hands it to me. “Do it.”
This can’t be happening. I’m someone I don’t recognize anymore. It’s one thing to have no fucks to give, but this new version of me is brave and daring and crazy. She’s nothing like the Julianne I’ve known for thirty years. I have to say I kind of like this new version of myself. I press the green button.
Marcie starts screaming the second I take the call.
He never blinks as he stares at me. “Do it.”
“Marcie.”
“Do you have any idea what a mess you’ve made of this, Julianne? The partners are meeting in the morning, and I might not be able to protect you from the consequences of this.”
“Do it,” John whispers.
&nb
sp; “Marcie, listen to me.”
“What do you have to say for yourself?”
I swallow before I leap, never blinking as I hold his intense gaze. “I quit.”
“What? You are not quitting!”
John takes the phone from me and powers it down.
The silence is deafening.
“Breathe. Jules. Breathe.”
My personal phone rings with yet another call and chimes with new texts. No need to wonder if my siblings, friends and colleagues have seen the TMZ report. I suck in a trembling deep breath. Holy shit. I just quit my job for a man I’ve known three weeks.
“Keep breathing.” He gathers me into his embrace. “Everything is fine. You’re going to be fine. We’re going to be fine. We’re a team now, you and me. We’ve got this.”
I cling to him and his assurances while my personal phone continues to blow up.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
AVA
Jules and John. Got to admit, I didn’t see that coming. I stare at the photos of them taken at Roma. At first I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when Skylar texted me the link with a note that said she wasn’t sure she should share this with me but figured I’d see it sooner rather than later.
One thing stands out to me in the photos. They both look really happy. I tell myself I’m glad they’re happy. I’m glad he’s happy. After everything that’s happened, he deserves it.
At some point in the last few chaotic months, I forgave him for the ordeal he put me through. He did what he had to do, and as hard as it’s been for me to understand that at times, I’ve found peace with it. I have no doubt he loved me as much as it’s possible for a man to love a woman. He never would’ve hurt me the way he did if he’d had a choice in the matter.
I get a text from Camille, who was the first person I told about the TMZ report. Eric is enraged. He, Rob and Amy have all tried to call her, but she’s not picking up or replying to texts.
I’m sure she will when she can.
How are you feeling about it?
Not sure how to feel. They both look happy tho.
I thought that too. I’ve never seen her smile like that. Are you ok?
Sure, I’m great. My ex is dating my sister-in-law, and my husband isn’t talking to me. Never been better.
Ugh. You want me to come over?
Nah, I’m ok.
In other news, Amy went out with that Muncie guy again. They went to see Wicked.
Good for her. He seems like a nice guy. Going to bed. TTYT.
Hope you can get some rest. I’m here if you need me.
Thx. Xoxo
I turn off my phone because I’ve had enough of staring at it, hoping to hear something from my husband. I’m past the point of being shocked by what’s happened, and I’m cruising straight toward anger. Why is he punishing me for something I have no control over? That’s what I’d like to know.
I take one of the sleeping pills Jessica prescribed for me when I was first seeing her and fall into dreamless oblivion, waking late in the morning but feeling more rested than I have in days. I power up my phone to see what I’ve missed while I was asleep.
There’s a text from Jessica to me and Eric. I’d like to see you both today at 3 if that works for you.
I can be there, I tell her.
Eric doesn’t reply.
I spend an hour in the rabbit hole of speculation and gossip about John’s romance with his publicist, the daughter of New York Governor Robert Tilden. Naturally, there’s no comment from John, Julianne or the governor about the reports. I feel strangely hollow knowing that he’s moved on, which makes me angry at myself. What did I think he was going to do? Mourn the loss of me forever?
I leave for Jessica’s at two thirty with no idea if Eric is going to show or not, and when I get there, there’s no sign of him.
“Have you heard from him at all?” Jessica asks when we’re settled in our usual chairs.
“Not a word.”
“I’m sorry.” She seems as dejected as I feel. “I honestly thought he’d reach out to you after I saw him the other day.”
“Well, he didn’t.”
“And of course you’ve seen the news about his sister and John.”
“Yep. According to Camille, Eric is enraged over it.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’m glad he’s enraged about John and Jules, but he seems to have no feeling whatsoever about his own situation.”
“You sound pissed.”
“Do I? Could it be because my husband has left me over something I have no control over?”
“I can’t say I blame you for being upset.”
“You know what makes me the maddest in all this?”
“What’s that?”
“I gave up any chance I had to resurrect my relationship with John because I had faith in Eric’s love for me. I had faith in us. I believed in us and the future we planned together. And now he’s checked out, and I’m finding that my faith was misplaced. He didn’t deserve it.”
“You’re disappointed with him.”
“Yes! Wouldn’t you be?”
“Probably.” She leans forward in that thoughtful way of hers that’s become so familiar in the months I’ve been seeing her. “I have a question about something you just said.”
“What?”
“You gave up any chance you had to resurrect your relationship with John. Does that mean you considered that possibility?”
“No, I didn’t, because I was engaged to Eric. I made a commitment to him, and I kept it, which is more than he can say. He can’t even show up to do the work necessary to put things back on track between us.”
“I think he will. Eventually.”
“Maybe I won’t be here waiting for him by the time he gets his head out of his ass.”
The words are no sooner out of my mouth than the door opens, and my husband comes in. He’s winded, and there’s sweat on his brow, as if he ran in the heat.
“So sorry I’m late. There was an accident on the FDR, and I had to jog the last half mile.”
He sits in the chair next to mine. From a quick glance, I can see that he looks like shit. He has dark circles under his eyes and hasn’t shaved in days, which isn’t like him. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who’s been through hell.
“We’re glad to see you, Eric.” Jess hands him a bottle of water from the little fridge under her desk. “As you both know, I’ve met with each of you individually, and I honestly believe that what we’re dealing with here is a bump. I believe it’s something you can get past if you both want to. Ava has indicated to me repeatedly that she wants to. I’d like to know your thoughts, Eric.”
He drinks half the bottle of water, screws the top on and bounces the bottle between his hands.
I want to scream at him to say something. I recall what Jessica said about how it might be my turn to do the heavy lifting in our relationship, so I stay silent and give him room to breathe and think.
A long moment passes before he speaks. “My thoughts are kind of all over the place.”
What does that mean?
“How so?” Jessica asks.
“I can’t make sense of anything that’s happened.”
“Because it doesn’t make sense that you left me.” The words pop out of my mouth before I have time to think about whether I should say them.
“It doesn’t make sense to you, but it did to me.”
“I’m glad one of us has a clue what the hell is going on here, because I don’t.”
“You don’t?” He raises his brows, incredulous. “Really?”
“Yes, really! Do you honestly think I wanted to be dreaming about someone else when we were on our honeymoon?”
“I honestly don’t know what to think when it comes to you and him, and that’s the problem.”
“How many times do I have to say the same thing? I am married to you, not him. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Only if
that’s what you really want.”
“Jessica, please. Can you help me here?”
“Ava has told you that’s what she wants, Eric. What can she do to convince you it’s true?”
“I don’t know. But here’s what I do know. I don’t want to be married to someone who’s in love with another guy. Even if she goes through all the motions, says and does all the right things, that’s not the marriage I want. I want someone who wants me and only me, and if that’s not you, Ava, then all you have to do is say so. I love you. I really do. In fact, I love you so much that if you look me in the eye and tell me that he’s the one you really want, I’ll step aside so you can be happy, and I promise you I’ll be all right.”
I blink back tears because I know what it had to cost him to say those words to me. “What if I look you in the eye and tell you that you are the one I love, the one I want, the one I want to be married to? Would that matter at all?”
“Only if you truly mean it, and not just because he seems to have moved on with my freaking sister, of all people.”
“That makes you mad, does it?” I ask, even though I already know.
“Yes, it makes me mad! She could have any guy in the world. What the hell is she doing with him?”
“I don’t know, but what has that got to do with us?”
He balks. “You have to ask? I’m not doing holidays and family gatherings with him there. No fucking way. If that’s what she thinks is going to happen, she’s out of her mind.”
“I doubt she’s thinking of family gatherings and holidays at the moment.”
“She’s not thinking at all if she’s taken up with him.”
“Can I say something?”
He shrugs, as if he doesn’t care when he just told me he does. I can work with that. “He will always be in my life, whether he’s with Jules or someone else. He’s important to me, and I’ve committed to staying in touch with him and remaining his friend. He’s lost so much. I refuse to be one more thing that he loses forever. I made that very clear to you before we got married. You knew my intention to remain in his life. That said, I do not want to get back together with him. The only person I want to get back together with is you. But I have to say, the way you’ve behaved the last few days has given me pause.”