Deidra chewed on her lip and tried to think past her fear. What could really happen anyway? Assuming the plane landed and they made it to their destination, what could really happen that would be so overwhelmingly drastic to cause her subconscious to scream at her this way? Nothing. She was overreacting. She took a deep breath and tried to convince herself that she would be fine. Life would go right back to normal after she got a little R&R and nothing drastic could change that. She repeated the mantra over and over in her mind and took deep, calming breaths.
2
Dex sat in his extremely uncomfortable seat and wished the plane would take off so he would soon be off this tin can and back home. His six foot four inch frame was not meant to be folded into these tiny seats. Even the first class section, which boasted more legroom, couldn’t accommodate him comfortably. He shifted again and thanked his friend, Martha in his mind for reserving both seats when she bought his plane ticket. No way could he have shared close quarters with anyone. His nerves were too close to the surface. He felt too raw. He wished again that he had booked a private flight, but he for some reason he just couldn’t make the arrangements. He had left it all up to Martha and he wasn’t sure why. He hated flying commercial.
He took a deep breath and tried to calm his mind. He would stay at the lodge for a few days and then he would hike out to his home. He had spoken with his friends Martha and Slade and he knew that they had everything arranged at the lodge. They had been making the same arrangements every year for the last ten years, since he’d built the massive timber structure. Before that they all just made their way home on their own. The lodge provided his people with a meeting place as well as a way to work and make money for a great deal of the year and provided them with the money they needed to live. The lodge was closed from the first of October until April first. This gave the staff and Martha time to prepare the lodge for the winter as well as prepare it to open again after winter.
Dex reached up and scratched his chin. It was already covered in a thick beard that looked like it had been growing in for days, when in fact he had shaved before he’d left his hotel. The equinox was drawing near and he was already feeling the effect in his body. His hair was growing thicker as were the muscles in his arms and legs. He wasn’t usually this bulky, unlike Slade who was bonded to his beast and could change to and from with little trouble. Dex had always secretly envied his friend in that. Slade’s beast was more gentle than Dex’s too as if it somehow drew on Slade’s natural calm. It hadn’t always been that way, Martha had changed Slade and it had made him stronger and more centered. Dex had little control of his beast. It raged and was ruled only by instinct. Dex never knew where he would find himself when the sun rose or what havoc he had been responsible for. He kept the creature firmly locked away for half of the year, but the time for freedom was fast approaching and it made Dex nervous even as it made him long for the freedom of it. He had to fight all the time to keep the beast under control. At times the battle was fierce. The only person who could get through to his beast was Martha. She had kept him from doing things that would have haunted him. She was an amazing woman and Dex envied his friend for finding someone who could handle what they were.
Soon he would be forced to seek refuge in his snowy home and as much as he enjoyed living in the big city, nothing could compare with his winter home and the freedom he found there. His family was there and he had missed them this year more than most. He felt a need to be home and it made his temper shorter than usual.
Dex tried to calm himself with thoughts of the coming month. Slade would accompany Dex to his home. Slade wouldn’t go back for Martha until he was sure it was safe and until the lodge was secured for winter. It was the only time Slade was away from Martha. Dex didn’t understand how the man could cling to the woman the way he did, but he couldn’t seem to breathe without her. He wouldn’t leave her at all, but it was too dangerous for her to be at home too near the equinox and even with his extreme control it was too dangerous for Slade to be at the lodge during the days that followed the equinox. The beast was strongest then and even Slade couldn’t control it well. Strange things happened for the first two weeks and Martha might be in danger from the others too, those who had little control and little cause to seek it. There were those who chose to embrace their beast more completely than others and they would not balk at tearing Martha apart and having her for supper or worse. Slade and Dex would die to protect her, but it wasn’t worth the risk. Dex was embarrassed to admit that she would be in danger from him as well. If he was in control he would protect her with his life, but if he wasn’t he could be the one to damage her and he couldn’t bear the thought of it.
Memories assailed him and he pushed them away with thoughts of home and the little village like neighborhood that made up their community. It was an escape nestled far away from prying eyes. It meant safety for his people who had to hide their true nature for so much of the year. He felt pride in his people and in their home and he couldn’t wait to be there with them. He loved his people even as he kept them at arm’s length.
Martha and Slade lived near Dex and had since they had married. They weren’t the only ones, who lived near his home on the mountain, but they were the only ones Dex was friendly with outside his immediate family, he simply tolerated all the others. Everyone else wanted something from him. He was never sure of their motives and deception was a scent that made his stomach turn. He would spend the months alone for the most part and that was fine with him. He gave every family an allowance of sorts. He had a fund set up and the profits from his lodges were placed in the fund. At the end of the year the interest was divided among the clans and then further among the families. It kept them all happy and with enough money to be comfortable. Those who worked at the lodges also earned wages. It worked, but there were times when Dex felt used and that led him to feel contempt for many of his own people.
Dex knew that he would not be missed by his associates in the world. His people knew that he sequestered himself for much of the winter to regroup and relax. They wouldn’t worry if they didn’t hear from him for a while. He would make contact every couple of weeks if he could, but they wouldn’t worry if he didn’t. As long as his money continued to pay their checks his whereabouts would not concern them. In truth they were probably glad to see him go. He wasn’t exactly known for his sunny personality. He had been called cold and even heartless on occasion. He had been known as the ice man among his competitors and he had always found the moniker hilarious, mostly because it was so true. He was a solitary being and made no secret of it. The women he spent an occasional night with knew it and they accepted it or they didn’t last very long as a companion. It was his life and he was completely happy with it.
He frowned. He shifted in his seat again and repeated the words to himself.
“I am completely happy with the way my life is.” His frown deepened as he felt the lie of it.
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