by Di Morrissey
‘Hi, Jennifer, how’s it?’
‘Good, good. Listen, Doyley, are Fanzio and Holding back over here? I saw them with that Willsy guy in Headland.’
‘Yeah. They’re not stopping. On some fishing charter. They just dropped off a new staffie. Don’t know how come he’s hanging out with them.’
‘Who knows? Maybe it’s who you know. Just thought I’d ask.’
‘See ya, Jennifer.’ He nodded at Isobel and started up the electric cart.
‘Why are you curious about these people?’ asked Isobel as they followed the beach towards Coral Point.
‘Maybe I’m being unfair, but I just don’t like them. Blair thinks he’ll jump the promotion queue by hanging out with the resort executives, and when that TV guy was here there was a bit of a drama. I think it’s strange the way they keep coming up here.’
‘This is a very beautiful part of Australia. So many people want to come to see the reef. Experience the idyllic island life, eh?’
‘So what are we doing at Gideon’s?’ asked Jennifer, wondering why Isobel had insisted they wear their swimsuits. ‘We’re not really going sailing, are we?’
‘Of course we are, but it’s work as well.’
There was no one around. They went past Gideon’s house and saw the goat tethered out of reach of the vegetable patch, the Shark Bar, and the shark mobile pulled above the high-water mark shrouded in netting and tarpaulins. The dinghy was tied to the tree, but standing at the edge of the lagoon was Gideon. A sleek sailboat was anchored next to him.
‘Whose boat? We’re not going out in that, are we? It looks so . . . frail,’ said Jennifer.
‘It’s a lovely little sloop. Very light, very manoeuvrable. Sailing without an engine is a special experience,’ said Isobel. ‘It has a shallow draught so we can skim over the reef.’
‘Oh no. Is this the surprise, a sailing lesson?’
Gideon turned and, seeing them, gave a salute.
Isobel took Jennifer’s hand. ‘We’ve talked about our paths crossing, for whatever reason. I think you feel as I do. There is a bond with us, yes?’ Jennifer nodded, her eyes not leaving the white boat that looked as flimsy as a butterfly perched lightly on the calm aqua water. ‘So if I ask you to trust me, you will agree? There is a reason I want you to take this step with me.’
Jennifer still didn’t speak. What would seem to be a casual event, with some light-hearted teasing, some reluctance on her part to get into the boat, she knew had more significance.
‘Will you agree?’ continued Isobel. ‘To do as I ask, and put your trust in me and let go of any feelings, any doubts, you may have?’
‘You make it sound . . . scary.’ Jennifer’s voice was a whisper.
Gideon came towards them. ‘Good morning, Miss Jennifer. Are you ready?’ His smile was gentle, his eyes soft.
‘For what?’ Jennifer tried to laugh. Isobel had not let go of her hand.
‘Let Isobel show you. There are just the three of us and it is a perfect morning.’
They walked to the water’s edge and Gideon, wearing old khaki shorts, waded into the water and held the boat as Jennifer and Isobel followed. A life-preserver was hung over the side and Gideon used it to pull himself out of the water. The sand was cold under her feet. The bottom felt like corrugated cardboard, soft, ridged with lines of the movement of the tide and waves. The water came up to Jennifer’s waist and Isobel lay forward and stroked sideways to the boat, still holding Jennifer’s hand as she waded slowly.
At the boat Gideon leaned over the side. ‘Put your foot in the ring, use it as a step.’ He took her hand and Isobel put Jennifer’s hand up on the hull, helping her to swing herself onto the boat.
Jennifer was shaking. There was little space so she crouched in the shallow cockpit. Gideon and Isobel perched on the hull, their feet on either side of Jennifer, who hugged her knees. Gideon loosened a line and the sail seemed to catch its breath in a gulping intake, then billowed out in a huge puff, making the boat slide swiftly forward. Jennifer squeezed her eyes shut. No one spoke and Jennifer braced herself, feeling the boat heel, terrified they were going to turn over. But the rush forward, the straining sails, the swishing water, the sense of speed, compelled her to open her eyes.
‘Where has the wind come from?’ she exclaimed. The water looked only slightly ruffled, the craft barely touching the water as they skimmed across the lagoon towards the wider sea.
‘You can’t see the wind, but it’s there. Like many things in life,’ grinned Gideon.
‘Sit up here beside me,’ said Isobel. ‘Be ready to duck under the boom when we change tack.’
Gideon changed direction several times as Jennifer began to relax in the narrow boat. Once she glanced up to the top of the mast, but mainly she kept focused on what was close at hand: her feet, Isobel’s hand holding a rope, a shiny metal cleat, water splashing along the edge of the hull. She did not look behind, or to the horizon, but tried to be in the present, accepting she was sliding along the surface of the sea, blue water on top and all around, and also endlessly beneath her. Isobel reached over and touched Gideon’s arm and he turned the boat so the sail luffed and they slowed as if the wind had been turned off. Swiftly he dropped the sail and swung onto the bow, slipping the reef pick over the side on to a sand patch. Gradually the boat steadied and stayed in place.
The little boat with three aboard was low to the water and Isobel stretched out and peered beneath the surface, then sat up and pulled from a small locker two sets of fins and facemasks with snorkels attached.
Jennifer recoiled. ‘Oh no. No way!’
‘Couldn’t be calmer. It’s perfect. No current to speak of either,’ said Gideon.
‘I’m not a good swimmer. I really didn’t swim till I was a teenager and then just in a pool.’
‘It’s very shallow here, perfectly safe. Jenny, all I am asking you to do . . . is look from here, like this.’ Isobel spat in her facemask, swilled around some seawater, shook the mask and held it to the surface of the sea. ‘See the clarity, a little magnification but it is a window to a magic world.’ She put the mask on her head, pulled on the flippers, swung her legs over the side and slipped into the water.
Holding on to the side of the hull, Isobel smiled up at Jennifer. ‘I want you to follow. Gideon will give you a line to hold on to. Just to get the feel of this.’
Jennifer desperately didn’t want to disappoint Isobel, who smiled cheerfully as she bobbed beside the boat. But this was asking too much of her.
Gideon showed Jennifer the white nylon rope with a loop on the end. ‘You can hang on to this or put your arm through it. You saw how she treated the facemask, but first the feet.’
‘Gideon, I can’t do this . . .’
‘You can. You’re ready. Isobel would not bring you out here if she didn’t believe you are. Trust her, Jennifer.’
Her hands were shaking as she pulled the plastic flippers onto her feet. ‘I can’t move in these things. I’ll trip, they feel so awkward.’
‘Sit on the side of the boat, hang your legs over the side, let go and slide in. Try to move your legs as if you are walking and the flippers will keep your head above water. It’s called treading water. Remember to spit into the facemask to stop it fogging up.’
I’m not going to do this. But she copied what she’d seen Isobel do, pushed the facemask on her head and immediately opened her mouth, gasping for air as her nasal passages were blocked.
‘You can try the snorkel later. Just get a sense of this. I can haul you back in a flash.’ He held up the rope reassuringly.
‘Don’t go far, this won’t take a minute. I’m in and then I’m out,’ said Jennifer.
‘Push yourself out from the boat and just let go,’ instructed Isobel. ‘I’m right here beside you.’ She held out a hand.
There was nowhere to go. Jennifer closed her eyes, gulped a mouthful of air, shoved herself away from the boat and fell, clumsily, splashily, into the water. She bobbed below the sur
face but before she opened her eyes her head was out of the water and Isobel had her arm. The water was refreshing, it felt silky on her skin.
‘See how effortless you feel with the fins? Now, put your face to the surface, look through the mask.’ Isobel still held her arm, her body close to Jennifer who had the rope from the boat looped around her wrist.
Jennifer stuck her face into the water. It was like opening a dirty window and seeing clearly what was outside. She saw her fins waving as she trod in watery space. She saw the clearness of the water. And then – a ledge of coral, bright yellow-orange and olive green. It looked close enough to stand on. She pointed her toe but the flipper didn’t reach. She lifted her head and gulped a mouthful of air.
‘It’s not as close as it looks. Now come with me, do as I do. Trust me, Jenny.’ Isobel took her hand and stretched out horizontally, ‘Swim with me, just kick one, two, three, slowlyyy . . .’
Jennifer instinctively kicked and felt her body surge forward with the power from the fins. Isobel kept pace then stopped.
‘Watch me, then we’ll do it together.’
Before Jennifer could answer, Isobel took a breath, flipped down, her fins flashing out of the water as she did several strokes down towards the coral, then angled her body up, breaking the surface.
‘Ready?’ She took Jennifer’s hand and drew a breath as Jennifer did the same, and then they were both kicking down towards the colourful ledge. Jennifer felt her facemask press against her face but her initial sense of suffocating passed as the clear brilliance of the scene mesmerised her. The coral appeared to glow it was so bright. Small, dazzling-coloured fish darted in cheeky hide and seek. Seagrasses swayed like artful landscaping. Then she was being pulled up and was treading water again. Isobel grinned at her.
‘Ready to go down again?’
‘How long was I down there? It seemed ages.’
‘Seconds. We’ll get the snorkels. If we swim a few metres over there the reef is higher and you can float and breathe and study it more closely.’ She put the snorkel in place beneath the strap of Jennifer’s facemask and showed her the mouth piece.
‘Bite on this, just breathe normally.’ She adjusted her snorkel, put her face in the water and Jennifer heard her rasping breathing through the short plastic pipe. Isobel took out the mouthpiece and explained, ‘If you take in any water just blow it out – like a whale. Follow me.’ She swam off and Jennifer followed, unsure but trusting, the rope held by Gideon floating behind her.
She wasn’t sure when it happened, but Jennifer felt like she was lying on top of a waterbed, supported and safe, watching a movie, face-down. Occasionally she glimpsed Isobel’s red swimsuit as she dived down below to look at something more closely. Jennifer was content to float on her front, gazing at the oceanic garden beneath.
Maybe it was because she was above and not below the sea, and it was calm and beautiful, that no ghosts or fears came to haunt her. She also felt she was only seeing the superficial picture, that to dive or be in the submersible would give her more of a sense of the excitement Tony had felt. She lifted her head and glanced around. She couldn’t see Isobel, or the boat. Instantly she felt her throat constrict. A dozen horrific scenarios flashed into her mind – from the movie Jaws, to the report of divers abandoned by a dive boat, to her own childhood nightmares. She pushed the mouthpiece away and started to swim, flailing with no thought to direction, and found she was crying out but her mouth was full of water. She had a sense of waves closing over her, as if night had fallen, that she was being pulled down into a dark and fearful place where bones and bodies lay.
She struggled, then a firm arm came from behind, across her chest and grabbed her under the armpit. ‘It’s all right. Calm, Jenny . . . you’re having a panic attack, take deep breaths . . .’ Isobel’s voice was strong, insistent. Isobel side-stroked, pulling Jennifer along until she caught her breath and freed herself.
Panting, she trod water and saw the boat behind Isobel. ‘God, what happened! I thought I was drowning, going down, something.’
‘It’s not unusual. Stay still, reorient yourself.’
‘I want to get out.’
‘No! Stay here. Just a few moments. See, the water is calm, blue. The boat and Gideon are there. And down there . . . you can still see the colours. How lovely they are . . .’ Isobel’s voice was steady and soothing.
Gradually Jennifer caught her breath, her heart stopped racing and she was able to look down into the water once more.
By the time they swam to the boat and Jennifer handed Gideon her mask, snorkel and flippers while she was still in the water holding on to the life ring, she’d regained her confidence. Isobel pulled herself into the boat, then she and Gideon reached over and both helped Jennifer on board.
‘I feel so clumsy with this bulging tummy,’ laughed Jennifer.
‘She’s laughing, this is good,’ grinned Gideon. ‘Well done, girl. Well done.’
Isobel pulled up the anchor, Gideon set the sail and they tacked about.
They glided into the lagoon. ‘As soon as we’re ashore someone put the billy on,’ said Gideon.
‘I could definitely eat something,’ sighed Jennifer.
‘Help yourselves. There’re eggs, fruit, goats’ cheese, good goats’ milk too,’ said Gideon.
This time Jennifer jumped over the side and waded ashore, carrying the bag that held the snorkelling gear. Isobel followed and they went to Gideon’s house. As Jennifer dumped the soggy bag outside, Isobel hugged her.
‘I am very proud of you. You know what you did this morning?’
‘Something I never thought I would!’
‘There is no going back now, Jenny. You’ve crossed a line.’ She tapped her head. ‘In here, you’ve made up your mind. And, if you wish, I can help you really start to uncover and use all that potential I know is inside. Use your brain, your heart, your life, to do something. Having a baby is wonderful and it will fulfil you in many ways as nothing else can. But, Jenny, children grow up and they leave. And you have to let them go. And then, then, you must have your life too. So start now.’
‘I wish my mother knew that.’
‘Eventually your mother will be your child, and you will be the mother. Live your life, explore, learn, love.’ She smiled. ‘Now, let’s have a real breakfast!’
Jennifer was concentrating at her computer, notes and tapes scattered around her. At first she didn’t hear the tap at the door. Then she looked up, surprised to see Blair standing there.
‘So this is where you hang out?’
‘Sorry, I didn’t hear you, come in. What’s up?’ Jennifer looked concerned.
‘Ah, nothing too important. Thought I’d stroll over and pass on a message from your mother.’
‘Oh no, what’s up? Do you want a coffee? Come next door to Rudi’s.’
He followed her next door to the lab. ‘Christina was quite perky. She wanted you to know she has a volunteer job, up at the hospital. Be handy for you, won’t it?’ He smiled and looked around the lab. ‘God, what goes on in here? All the aquarium tanks are empty.’
‘Not really. Rudi is studying the plants. Toxins, pollutants, genetics.’
‘Fascinating,’ said Blair dryly. ‘Are you comfortable? Doyley reckons they rough it over here.’
‘Nice of you to worry. I’m fine. Tony, Isobel and I have what’s called the VIP digs. I’ll show you round if you like.’ Thank God I tidied up after my sail. ‘Hey, know what I did this morning? I went for a sail, jumped overboard and snorkelled over the reef.’
‘You did! Whose boat? Not on Kicking Back?’ He looked alarmed and Jennifer had the impression he was mad he might have missed out.
Deflated, she stirred the instant coffee. ‘No, Blair. I was out on the reef with scientists, not starlets.’
‘I didn’t think you were into water sports. Thanks.’ He took the mug of coffee from her. ‘Can I see around?’
‘Sure.’ Just dismiss the fact I jumped into the sea like it was
no big deal. ‘I’ve got my honours research subject defined, which is great. A lot more observation and interviews to do.’ She paused and, when he didn’t ask, she explained, ‘I’m studying the breeding success of the green turtles on Branch Island.’
‘Oh, really. Listen, your mother also asked me to tell you that Vi and Don have let the house.’
‘Whatever for?’
‘Doing the nomad trek. Got a caravan and have hit the road. I think the plan is they get up here in time for the baby’s arrival. When is it again?’
‘Oh Blair,’ she sighed and almost smiled, ‘you’re so interested, aren’t you? The doctor tells me I’m four months gone. Do the sums. But how can Vi and Don just leave? What about his precious birds? Is the tenant looking after them?’
‘Ah, no. Seems someone pinched them. Don was a bit upset.’
‘Oh God, that’s dreadful. He loved those birds. Who’d do that?’
Blair shrugged. ‘Dunno. They’ve let the house to pay for their trip. S’pose Vi thought it’d take his mind off it. So, show me round then.’
Jennifer led him outside. ‘That’s the main lab, and that’s Mac’s house over there – he shares it with three of the postgrads.’
They kept walking, but Blair didn’t seem interested in his surroundings. ‘So you could travel, move, in say seven months?’
‘Move? Where? I thought you were on a contract to stay here for a full eighteen months?’ said Jennifer, feeling suddenly disturbed.
He shrugged. ‘I’m working on a promotion. I thought you’d be pleased. You weren’t exactly crazy about this place.’
‘Blair, if you think those people – Fanzio and Holding – are going to jump you up the queue, I think you’re mistaken. And I think you underestimate Rosie’s capabilities.’
‘Listen, you be careful what you say to her. She’s my boss, remember.’
‘She’s my friend!’
‘So who’s more important?’ He stopped in the middle of the track and glared at her.