by Di Morrissey
‘You pay too much attention to that woman. She’s got in your ear with some feminist bullshit. What are you going to do when she’s not around?’
‘I’m asking Isobel to be godmother. She’ll always be in my life,’ said Jennifer.
‘I might have something to say about that. And I doubt your mother would approve.’
‘What you and my mother think about it doesn’t concern me.’
‘It’s my child too!’
‘You should have thought about that before sneaking around with Miss Susie – or anyone else.’
‘There isn’t, nor has there ever been, anyone else.’
‘Then I hope you’ll both be very happy.’
The rapid exchange ceased and they glared at each other.
‘Jennifer, this is a mad thing you’re doing. I wanted to see you tonight to tell you that I’m going to London. Just briefly, for a job interview. Joe and Reg have set up an appointment for me.’
‘The slick boys? And what do you do for them in return?’
‘Stop calling them that. They’re executives. I thought you’d be pleased about London.’ He paused, ‘Maybe you should come. Get away from here, see things in a new light.’
‘Do you want me to?’ I bet you’ve already asked Miss Susie of Sooty Isle. When he didn’t answer, Jennifer sighed. ‘Blair, we’re on different trajectories now. I’d only hold you back. We want different things. Nothing is going to change the situation, unfortunately. Do what you want.’ You always have.
They were quiet, each thinking of their own future.
‘I just hope you will make an effort to do the right thing by your child. And me,’ said Jennifer.
‘Of course I will.’ Under the sincerity there was a touch of relief in Blair’s voice.
You think you’re being let off lightly. ‘Blair, we could fight over money, over custody, over a lot of things. But what’s the point? Just a lot of pain and bitterness that I don’t need. You mightn’t think much of my playing around with a bunch of academics, but be glad I’m making some effort to have a future and a life. And trying to support myself.’
He stared at her with a mixture of surprise and grudging respect. ‘You really feel strongly about this stuff? If you think you can do something with it, then good on you. Maybe we’re both heading for bigger things, as you say, in different worlds. Funny, we never talked about this early on,’ he finished awkwardly.
‘Yes. Maybe we were too busy to talk about our dreams and expectations. You assumed I’d do what you wanted, and I didn’t know what I really wanted out of life.’
Blair gave a pained smile. ‘You married me to get away from your mother.’
At first Jennifer was shocked at the unfairness of his remark, but she soon realised that he was right. ‘I hadn’t thought of our marriage like that. Mum isn’t an ogre, but I did feel a bit claustrophobic, I hadn’t lived enough, for sure.’ And now I’m right back where I was in some respects.
‘I always felt I never measured up to your mother’s impossible expectations,’ said Blair. ‘When I’m involved in big plans and projects she might see me in a different light. At least I’ll be able to provide well for my kid.’
‘No one could measure up to my mother’s expectations, Blair,’ Jennifer said, but her mind was racing with his last comment. ‘What plans do you mean?’
‘Jennifer, let me share this but keep it confidential. Fanzio and Holding have big plans. They’re getting some Asian investor to put up a whack of money and they’re planning to develop sporting lodges – really up market private clubs – in a few special spots around the world. South Africa, New Zealand, Aldabra in the Indian Ocean and Branch Island. I can be part of the whole deal, not just an employee.’
Jennifer didn’t look as impressed as Blair hoped. ‘Be careful, Blair. I’d be doing some background checking if I were you. I suppose Willsy will be involved?’
‘Why do you say that?’ asked Blair in surprise. Then he added. ‘I believe he might be.’
‘You only think so? Blair, I’m really not that interested but I wouldn’t trust Holding and Fanzio for a minute. I’d just hate to see you taken for a ride, money-wise. For purely personal reasons, of course.’ She tried to smile.
‘Jennifer, this doesn’t sound like you. You’ve changed.’ He didn’t sound pleased.
‘And so have you. Maybe we both have. And that’s why we’re not happy together any more,’ she said sadly.
They looked helplessly at each other, with honesty, no defences between them.
‘What went wrong?’ asked Blair.
You were having an affair for a start. ‘Please, let’s not go there,’ said Jennifer. She didn’t want to re-examine the question of why Blair felt the need to have that affair. ‘What’s more important is what we’re going to do about it.’ Jennifer stood up. ‘If you want to keep this private while we’re on the island it’s going to look odd living separately, or with other people,’ she added pointedly. ‘In case your big deal doesn’t come off with Fanzio and Holding, you might want to ask head office in London if Reef Resorts International can move you to a position without a spouse. Say your wife and baby want to stay at home.’ Though where home is, I have no idea, thought Jennifer.
‘That’s a good idea.’
‘Let me know what you’re doing. I’ll be here till the baby is due. Goodnight, Blair.’ This is reallygoodbye. She turned away, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes.
Blair watched his blonde wife walk away from him and felt a sudden rush of panic. Then guilt. Then relief. Then, as his mind switched to the plans outlined by Fanzio and Holding, exhilaration. Jennifer will be all right. I’ll do the right thing by the baby. How expensive could a small kid be? Jennifer will want to send it to uni. By the time I’ve got to think about school fees, I’ll be a rich man. No worries. Susie is ambitious too, we think alike. But I’m not going to gettied up again, no way. I like the idea of freedom.
Jennifer left the resort and walked slowly back to the research station. She knew every twist of the path through the pisonia forest. The evening shadows shivered in the night breeze. How insecure she’d felt, how fearful at walking here when she’d first arrived. The shock of the attack on Rhonda had lessened, though she still despised Willsy and hoped Blair wouldn’t be involved with him and the slick boys in any business venture. Even the strange and disturbing presence of Patch appearing at unexpected moments worried her less. While she’d never really spoken to him, she accepted Mac, Tony and Rosie’s assurances that he was harmless. A bit odd, but harmless.
The path divided and one of the girl staffies, late for her shift, hurried past, giving Jennifer a wave.
There were few people about, most were getting ready for dinner, relaxing or working. She walked to the end of the station’s main drag to where the VIP cottages were tucked away. As she reached the duplex she shared with Tony, she stopped, catching her breath.
Music swept from inside. Such music. Jennifer stood transfixed, her eyes closed as the orchestral washed over her, lifting her in a great burst of sound so she felt she was zooming and spinning above the trees, above the island. Lost in some enveloping blue world, scenes and moments from films that had moved her flicked on and off. She felt her heart was going to burst. She wanted to cry, to laugh, to be wildly embraced, to feel utterly passionate about a lover. In those seconds she was uplifted and overcome with joy and a sense she could achieve anything. She opened her eyes.
Tony was smiling at her from his doorway. ‘Wonderful, isn’t it? I tend to play music when I have a bit of writer’s block.’
‘It’s brilliant. Makes me feel I could write a masterpiece!’
‘Speaking of writing, can we meet soon for a run-through of where we’re at? I’ll be taking off for a bit and while my editor is happy enough he reckons there’re a couple of other features I could be doing.’
‘Overseas again?’
Tony’s smile faded. ‘No. Even though I’m out of the war zones
, I’m not ready to stay behind a city desk or write about wankers – pardon my language. I’m trying to persuade him to let me spend time doing my own investigations.’
‘Do you want to talk tonight? When are you leaving?’ It would seem strange not to have him downstairs. While they lived literally on top of each other, and were collaborating on a book, they spent little time together alone, they were mostly with the group.
‘Couple of days. I want to cover Isobel and Gideon’s dive. There’s a documentary film crew coming as well. And I promised Lloyd we’d go for a sail and a bit of a fish when he gets back from South America.’
‘So he’s really gone to see Carmel’s parents? I bet they want to check him out,’ said Jennifer. ‘I’m sure they’ll like him.’
‘He wants to ask for her hand in the old way,’ said Tony. ‘Lovely, isn’t it? He’s nervous because her family is old money.’
‘Our Lloyd will do okay. Anyway, if they say he’s not suitable, Carmel seems the type to run away with him.’
‘Ah, the impetuousness of being young and in love.’ Before Jennifer could say anything he turned inside. ‘Come down for supper. Give me half an hour or so to whip something up.’
‘I’ll help open a can or something. That’d be great.’ She hurried up the stairs, glad she wasn’t going to be alone this evening. She was still coming to terms with the fact she’d told Blair she was leaving him. While ending the foundering marriage seemed the right thing to do while Isobel was there, alone in her bed, feeling her baby move inside her, maybe she’d regret taking a stand, thought Jennifer. She wanted to talk to Rosie but didn’t want to jeopardise Blair’s position. She knew she’d have to explain things to her at some stage, or Rosie would figure out what had happened.
Tony had rigged up a barbecue at the back of the duplex and was standing over a steaming red emperor, testing it with a satay stick.
‘Help yourself to a drink inside. There’re some nuts but I wouldn’t advise nibbling too much. Doyley donated the fish, he’s been out with guests and is on duty tonight.’
‘Smells wonderful. What can I do? I’ll pass on a drink. I had one earlier – and, boy, did I need it.’
‘You can throw the salad together. It’s all on the bench.’
Tony had turned the music down and a different, more mellow David Bridie CD was playing. Jennifer tossed the salad, found some olive oil, made a vinaigrette dressing and looked for some paper napkins. There was a dresser in the tiny sitting/dining area and she went to look there. She didn’t find any, but on a shelf Tony had some wine, several books, CDs, notebooks and, to her surprise, propped up were several photographs, including two of herself – one walking along the beach at sunset and another of her sitting by the seawall reading some notes. She studied them curiously and then looked at the other photos. Seeing a pile, she picked them up and looked at them all, stunned at Tony’s knack for composition, capturing a moment, someone’s personality, in an instant. She wondered why he wrote when he was such a terrific photographer.
She went to ask him and was curious to see Patch standing beside him. They were looking at a sheaf of papers. They looked secretive and it unnerved her. She stepped back inside and neither noticed her.
A few minutes later Tony came inside, put the papers beside his laptop and said cheerfully, ‘Fish is done. I’ll set up the card table outside, okay?’ He’d gone to a lot of trouble with a candle and a shell borrowed from Rudi’s lab as a table decoration.
‘It looks lovely. I hope that’s not one of Rudi’s poisonous cone shells.’
‘I checked it out. Display purposes only. And we have to give it back. No shells are to leave the island.’
‘Leave only footprints, eh?’ She sat as he held the chair for her.
‘I’ll take away a lot from here,’ he said quietly.
They talked about the book, and ran through other highlights of the work being done at the research station.
‘Mac wants a positive spin and something splashy,’ said Tony. ‘He keeps muttering about backstabbing, badmouthing and general undermining back at the uni and elsewhere. Do you know anything about that?’ he asked Jennifer carefully.
‘Universities can be very gossipy and competitive, but I think it’s generally kept in-house.’
‘Not when there’s funding money at stake. I’ve been making some enquiries . . .’ He paused. ‘Ah, this is a bit delicate but I wonder if you know that Blair is part of a group that’s hoping to build a string of quasielite sports clubs in sensitive, special locations?’
‘Blair and I don’t share a lot these days.’ Why don’t I tell him we’re separating? ‘But he did mention it and I advised him against getting into bed with the slick boys and their pals.’
‘Wise. They must have done their due diligence, but my suspicious nature wonders why they’re persisting, and I suspect it could be a front for something else.’
‘Like what?’
‘That’s the missing part of the puzzle. However, if the research station is discredited and gets closed, Reef Resorts, who lease their part of the island, probably figure that another lease could be taken up by another entity for their private club. The university doesn’t own the land or the research station. Only the facilities.’
‘But that wouldn’t be good for the Branch Resort, would it?’ said Jennifer. ‘Does Rosie know about this?’
‘Fanzio and Holding are executives with Reef Resorts, they’re in a prime position to push this exclusive club through, provided they can raise the money. I’ve talked with Rosie, and she thinks it’s pie in the sky. She works for Reef Resorts but she’s very supportive of what Mac and his mob are doing.’
‘The nature thing, the birds, turtles, the reef, that’s what visitors come to Branch Island for. Not some plush private club,’ said Jennifer. ‘And the marine research being done here is crucial to learning more to preserve the whole system.’
‘I agree. But people who want to make big money make their own rules. Private and discreet gambling included. Well, that’s in the plans for some of the other clubs, I understand. I could be jumping the gun, so until I find out more I can’t say anything.’
‘It’s just too awful to think about. Corporate greed, machinations and abuse of power. It’s all such short-term thinking. No matter how supposedly eco friendly they claim to be, it’ll disrupt the nature cycle that’s gone on for centuries!’
‘I agree, Jen. Just think about those great old turtles you’re studying. How do they navigate hundreds, sometimes thousands of kilometres across the oceans to return to the spot where they were born in order to breed?’
‘I think about that,’ sighed Jennifer. ‘It might sound silly, but I’ve wondered at the effort of those female turtles and then they swim away never knowing if the babies hatch and survive. Do you think they’re drawn back here because they too were born here in a place that’s safe, beautiful and peaceful?’
‘We all carry imprints on our souls of our earliest memories. Maybe even before birth,’ said Tony.
Jennifer idly prodded her food with her fork. ‘I hope my child has happy memories.’ Poor little thing isn’t getting off to a good start with its parents splitting up.
‘Why not? This seems a special place for nurturing, surrounded by beauty, peace, nature, loving friends.’ He paused, looking embarrassed.
Jennifer smiled at him. ‘What was your childhood like?’
‘Uneventful. Nice. Well-to-do suburbia on Sydney’s North Shore. A lot of sailing. You’d like my family. You hear a lot about childhood baggage, I brought my dark moments on myself later in life. I’ll come good. This break here has been very healing.’
‘But now we have work to do.’ She didn’t want to pry further.
‘Yeah. Another reason I’m going back to the mainland – to do a bit more unravelling of the network of companies that is Reef Resorts International. They all operate independently except for two or three executives on the board in London.’
‘How
do you do that? Do you have someone to help you? I wouldn’t know where to start,’ said Jennifer.
‘I have a very valuable little black book of contacts. Finding the right person in the right place is the key. Often people don’t know they have information. An amiable chat can often shed light into a dark corner.’
Over coffee they mapped out the format of the book and left the final section with a big question mark over the heading – Future Directions.
‘I know you have a lot to read for your own work, but if you can skim through some of this you might find it interesting, useful. Something might strike you that I’ve missed,’ said Tony.
Jennifer curled up in bed and read until she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She fell asleep, feeling more peaceful than she had in many weeks, perhaps it was because she had made a painful decision and was feeling in some control of her life at last. Even if she was on her own, she remembered Isobel’s advice to use this time to learn about herself. And she wasn’t totally on her own. This circle of friends on the island gave her great strength. The evening with Tony had been relaxed, interesting and warm. He mightn’t have known it, but he’d helped her cross a bridge in her life.
18
The Sunless Sea
TO JENNIFER, BRANCH ISLAND, which she’d once thought of as an insignificant dot, now seemed the centre of the universe. She was awake early, feeling refreshed and energised. She headed for the beach, loving these dawn walks.
She decided to reverse her normal walk, going in front of the resort and past the research station beach base. There were scattered clouds obscuring the sunrise, a possibility of a tropical shower. Nevertheless, the air was warm and the sea calm. Where the resort had constructed the sea wall and boardwalk, the low tide exposed the rocky channel that led to the deeper water. Jennifer glanced up at the far wing of the luxurious suites, shuttered and quiet amongst the trees. She was about to head out onto the deserted stretch of beach swept clean by the night high tide when a movement caught her eye.