by Di Morrissey
‘Oh shit, you poor kid.’
‘Yeah. I was so thrilled she’d written me such a grown-up, special letter, and then I realised she’d written it to show off to them. Ah well.’
They were silent for a moment, Tony wished he could find the words to say how much her story had touched him. So different from his own down-to-earth and affectionate mother.
Jennifer changed the subject. ‘So what else have you found out?’
‘The slick boys are heading to London. Willsy is on Sooty palling around with Gordon, who has been given the use of Kicking Back. Needless to say, they have a bevy of women in tow. If I were Rosie I’d be interviewing new assistant managers.’
‘Blair and Gordon moving on, are they? Or up?’
‘Don’t know what’s in store for Blair. He does seem to have legitimate ambitions in the hotel industry. Gordon is a playboy. Beats me why he’s bothering to work at Branch.’
‘His daddy is some bigwig in Reef Resorts, isn’t he?’
‘Chairman, no less. Though Sir Giles Blake doesn’t soil his hands in the actual business. Too busy with his home county pursuits. According to my journo mate in the news bureau over there he has some huge country estate – lakes, woods, private zoo, fabulous art collection.’
‘The usual.’
‘If you’re landed gentry, I guess,’ laughed Tony.
‘Maybe Gordon is being toughened up out in the colony, or picking up the resort business before going back to be put in charge of the poor old boys on the board,’ said Jennifer.
‘Quite possibly. Anyway, he’s ripping up and down the coast in that monstrous cruiser. I’ve been spending a bit of time with Lloyd’s dad and he’s given me some interesting leads,’ said Tony with a slight frown.
‘Really? About ship building?’
‘No, that’s not my forte. Heath has mates in the coastguard and customs. There’s so much unpatrolled coastline, all kinds of stuff goes on. And I thought sailing in Asia was a worry.’
‘You really love sailing, don’t you.’
‘Yeah, wanted to sail around the world before I ended up covering hot spots. Take pictures, write stories. I still might one day. In the meantime, I’m content to potter around Queensland.’
‘Sailing?’
‘I’ve got Lloyd’s sloop in my care. In fact, I’m living on it. I’m moored at the marina so I have a base here. Beats a motel. Though Isobel offered me a room at the house she’s rented.’
‘She’s rented a house? Where?’
‘Up in Headland Heights, overlooking the bay. Sounds nice. She’s got it for six months, apparently. Said she needs a shore base as well as the island. But I’m happy on the boat. She’s due any day.’
Jennifer looked at him, thinking Tony was still a private person even though he was tanned and looked more relaxed than when she’d first met him. The pain had faded in his green eyes and he smiled easily and often. His demeanour had softened and he was warm and funny. Jennifer was grateful for his comfortable, easy companionship.
He glanced at her. ‘What are you thinking? That I’m a bit of a drifter?’
‘Now why do you say that? I was thinking you’re a free spirit. And that I’m glad I have you as a friend.’ She was thoughtful. ‘In fact, I’ve never had friends like I’ve made on the island. Mac, Gideon, Isobel, Rosie. You. I wonder if we’d have bonded so much in a normal setting.’
‘Maybe not. People have intense relationships under extreme conditions. Not that a luxury resort on an idyllic island is extreme. Well, maybe it is . . . too much unreality.’
‘I feel I’ve come down to earth, that’s for sure,’ sighed Jennifer.
Tony helped her from the car. ‘And you’re doing very well. You’ve changed too. You were so insecure when I first met you. Remember our first meeting and you told me how scared you were, how you’d landed in your worst nightmare?’
‘Funny we told each other such intimate stuff when we were strangers on the shore, so to speak.’ She tilted her head and studied him.
‘Maybe we thought we’d never see each other again.’
‘I’m glad that didn’t happen.’
‘Me too.’ Tony seemed about to say something, but picked up the lunch instead. ‘Come on, there’s a seat over this way. I don’t think you’re the right shape to sit on the grass.’
‘It’s getting up that’s the problem,’ said Jennifer.
Two hours flew by.
‘I’d better go. Have to pick Mum up from tennis.’
‘How does she manage when you’re not around?’ asked Tony as they packed up their picnic.
‘Friends. Beverly thinks there’s a fellow who’s keen on her, but now I’m here she’d rather have me running her around.’
‘How come your mother hasn’t ever remarried? She’s attractive, energetic.’
Jennifer shrugged. ‘I wish she had. She dislikes men because of my father, I suppose. I wish she’d get a friend, at least. It makes me feel so guilty and responsible all the time. God, I hope I don’t lay trips on my child.’
‘We can only do what we think right, with good intentions in our heart. Do you know The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran?’ said Tony quietly. ‘There’s a poem in there about children. It talks of you being the bow from which children are sent forth. Your children are not your children but life’s longing for itself. You may house their bodies but not their souls . . . It’s beautiful.’
Jennifer drew a long breath and leaned over and kissed his cheek. ‘That’s made me feel so much better. Some kind of release. Deep down I already know that while I’m going to love and protect this baby with all my heart, I’ll one day have to let it go, with love. Because my mother has never let me go and it’s a terrible burden. So, thank you.’
Tony put the basket in the back seat and took out a flat parcel. ‘I brought you a sort of present. Just for now.’
‘Oh, how sweet of you . . .’ Jennifer unwrapped the package and found a framed photograph of Branch Island looking towards Gideon’s shore with the lagoon and the Shark Bar set between the pandanus trees along the beach. ‘Wow. This is perfect! Oh, thanks so much, Tony. I can hang it on the wall and lie in bed and imagine I’m back there.’
‘You really love that island, don’t you?’ He smiled.
‘I do. And I love the reef, the idea of it. That it’s so beautiful and protective and home to such magical life, and it’s wrapped around the little island stopping the big seas, the predators.’
‘We all need a reef between us and the wide open seas of life.’ He laughed. ‘Use that in your book. Hey, would you like to go for a sail some time? Just a doddle out of the harbour. A break away from Mum and work?’
‘I’d love that! And I love the picture.’
Days later Jennifer was feeling more than ‘draggy’. Instinct told her she needed to rest, and she lay in her room, grateful that Christina had to work at the hospital. She had hung Tony’s photo of Branch Island – ‘Doesn’t look like much to me,’ said Christina – on her wall so she could see it from her bed. If she closed her eyes she could see blue, feel warmth on her face, hear the birds. Jennifer missed the bird calls. They’d been so loud and active just before she left.
The phone rang and she debated picking up the extension, but was glad she did.
‘Darling girl, I am here!’
‘Isobel. Wonderful, wonderful. How are you?’ Jennifer sat up, feeling better.
‘More importantly, how are you and the little one? I was worried when I heard you had to stay close to the doctor.’
Jennifer smiled at the musical accent of her friend. ‘We’re hanging in there, but I’m ready to get this over with.’
‘The last month is always a long one. So, what news? You are working? I am renting a big house, ordinary house, but with a lovely garden and fabulous views over the harbour. Do you want to stay with me? I suppose your mother would not like me to take you out of her nest, no.’
‘You said it. But thanks for the offer. If I c
an see you that would be wonderful. Are you going to be around all the time?’ Jennifer’s heart leapt and her spirits lifted at the thought of being able to see Isobel.
‘Of course, my bella. And you have seen Tony? He is being very mysterious. He loves that boat. So, we see each other very soon. I’ll tell you all about the conference. Kisses.’
Jennifer smiled, glanced at the photo of the island, curled up in her bed and slept solidly until dinner. She allowed her mother to fuss over the meal which they ate on their laps in front of the TV.
By the following morning Jennifer was out of the house at daylight, walking briskly down to the waterfront, feeling terrific. She hadn’t intended to do so but found she was walking past the crowded wharf where the tied-up boats, fuel and food supplies passed for a marina. Most of the boats were battened down and deserted, except for a fishing boat setting out, and Tony sitting on the deck reading the newspaper with a mug of coffee. Jennifer walked along the jetty finger and gave him a hoy.
‘Any coffee going?’
‘Hey Jen, what a lovely surprise! Come aboard.’
While Tony made fresh coffee Jennifer explored the boat, marvelling at how compact and comfortable it was.
‘I don’t think I’d squeeze into that small loo up forward in my condition, but I see why you like being here,’ she said as they sat in the well of the cockpit watching the sun glint on the buoys, boats and glassy water.
‘It forces me to be tidy, everything has its place,’ he said. ‘I’m afraid my study at home is overrun with books and paperwork.’
‘What’s your place like?’ she asked curiously. ‘I’ve never considered you having a permanent home. I figured you were like me living at the research station, on a boat, wherever, ready to go anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice.’
‘I’ve lived on the run for too long. You get tired of hotels. I don’t mind it in short bursts, but when I came back from covering wars and seeing damaged and devastated lives and countries, I decided home was the most important thing. So I bought a rambling kind of a joint up the coast, near a beach. For once in my life I did something smart with my money. It’s nice to spread out my things, know it’s there to go back to and it’s a good working base.’
‘Who looks after it while you’re away? No lady companion? Am I being rude?’ asked Jennifer, suddenly thinking she was invading the very private wall he kept around himself.
‘No, of course not. I had a relationship or two. They didn’t survive my being posted away for such long periods. And I’m still a bit fragile.’ He smiled. ‘Like you said, having friends who are there but don’t make demands has been helpful for me to start to trust again.’ He took her cup. ‘What about breakfast?’
‘I’d better go. Mum will worry if she gets up and finds me gone. I might take some croissants home.’
‘Let me drive you back up the hill, walking down is easier. We can go past the bakery.’
Christina was making tea. ‘Oh, you’ve been out. You must be feeling better.’
‘Yep. Here’s breakfast. I’ve had coffee with Tony. He’s taking me for a sail later today.’
‘Do you think that’s wise, dear? Don’t you get seasick? How big a boat . . . does he know what he’s doing?’
‘Mum, Tony is the most responsible man I know. I feel totally safe with him. Anyway, what are you doing today?’
Jennifer loved the sail out of the harbour, tacking up the coast for two hours. She tried not to show her initial nerves as they picked up speed and the hull tilted as the sails billowed and the mast leaned towards the sea. Tony gave her a sheet to hold, slacken, and showed her how to fasten it over the cleat. The sound of the sail, the rushing water, made her feel exhilarated, light and free, not cumbersome and eight months pregnant. Sometimes they chatted, sometimes she sat and dreamed as Tony adjusted the sails, and for a while when she stretched out on the padded seat in the stern she fell asleep in the sun.
A day later Jennifer spent a morning with Isobel as she unpacked and spread photos, folders, papers and videos around. They went out for lunch and barely paused for breath as they laughed and talked non-stop.
‘Now, what does the doctor say? What is the hospital like and what about baby classes?’ demanded Isobel.
Jennifer shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Guess I’ll find out.’
‘Jenny, not good enough. Let’s go up there and look at the facilities. And you must do some classes so you know exactly what to expect.’
‘I’ll find out when the times comes.’
‘Nonsense. We will go this afternoon. You must get into training. You should have been doing this for weeks and weeks.’
Jennifer rang Beverly and they arranged to meet her on the third floor. Isobel toured the maternity ward like a royal visitor, and they peeped into the delivery room.
‘Oh God, it looks like you’re going to have limbs cut off,’ shuddered Jennifer. ‘I don’t want such a sterile setting. I wish I could just give birth on the beach.’
‘That’s not an unusual reaction,’ said Beverly. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t be recommending this, but a lot of women choose home births. If you have an experienced midwife and there aren’t complications, it’s much nicer.’
‘I don’t have a home. I mean I couldn’t have it in Mum’s unit. She’d freak, for a start. She’d never cope with me in pain or anything mucky and medical.’
‘A lot of girls use a friend’s house –’ and before Beverly could say any more Isobel was hugging Jennifer.
‘My house . . . it’s perfect! There’s a big bedroom with a spa and a deck that looks to the ocean. Oh please, please, have your baby there.’
Jennifer looked at Beverly, who grinned and shrugged. ‘I know a brilliant midwife. And the hospital is close by. It’s up to you to convince your doctor.’
Isobel clapped her hands. ‘Wonderful! Let’s call him and get everything ready, now. Just in case. I knew there was a reason I came ahead of time.’
The following week she told Tony of her plan.
‘Isobel is so generous and her place is fantastic. I’ve rung mothers who’ve done home births and I really like Lizzie the midwife. Isobel and I went to a birthing class and I feel really focused now.’
‘Well, if you’re comfortable with the idea and there are medical emergency facilities on hand or close by . . . What’s your mother think? And Blair?’ asked Tony.
‘I haven’t been able to reach Blair, he’s in London. I got a message that he’ll call me next week. He’ll say it’s up to me. As for my mother, I haven’t dared tell her yet. She’ll think it’s crazy.’
‘More of Isobel’s mad influence, I suppose,’ said Tony.
‘Mum wasn’t happy Isobel is coming with me to the childbirth classes. I think Mum feels Isobel is stealing her grandchild from her. But Isobel’s been so supportive.’
‘Good. So long as you’re happy. And your doctor. Well, come on, sailor, let’s get on with the sailing lesson.’ Tony had started explaining the principles of sailing to Jennifer to put her more at ease in handling the boat.
‘I won’t tell Mac I’m taking on another project just yet,’ she laughed.
Just as Christina was getting more and more tightlipped over the time Jennifer was spending with Isobel and Tony, Vi and Don arrived. Jennifer was thrilled.
‘We went inland and over to Cairns and worked our way down the coast, and here we are.’ Vi couldn’t get over how healthy and fit Jennifer looked. ‘We’re booked into the caravan park for two months, so we’ll be here for the big day. I’m really excited.’
Vi and Christina were busy in the kitchen. Jennifer and Don stood on the balcony while Don had a quick cigarette.
‘I’m so glad you’re here. It will be company for Mum and take a bit of pressure off me. I haven’t told her I want to go back to the island as soon as I can.’
‘You sure she won’t come over with us? Vi is dead keen to go,’ said Don.
‘She has a thing about the island, crossing the wa
ter. Like I did,’ said Jennifer slowly. ‘I can’t tell you how I’ve changed since being here, Don.’
‘I can see that, luv. We’re sorry to hear about Blair. You sure you two can’t get back together, what with the baby and all . . . ?’
‘It’s fine, Don, really it is. I have such a great group of supportive friends.’
‘Christina’s talked to Vi. You know how your mum gets a bit jealous. Don’t exclude her, pet. This baby means such a lot to her.’
Jennifer sighed. ‘I know, and I want her to be the doting granny, but I don’t want her smothering us – you know what I mean.’
‘I do indeed. We’ll try to keep her occupied, showing us around and so on. Though she says her job keeps her busy.’
‘It’s part time. And she has a man keen on her but she downplays that.’
‘To you maybe – she’s mentioned him to Vi, but insists she’s not getting involved, which is a pity.’ They both laughed.
‘So what’s so funny? Come inside and sit down,’ said Christina to Don. ‘You can’t smoke around my grandchild, you know. I’m not.’
‘Our great niece too. My goodness, to think you’ll be a grandmother,’ said Vi.
Christina fluffed her hair. ‘Well, I hope I don’t look like one. My friends at the tennis club tell me I seem far too young.’
In an aside to Vi, Jennifer asked, ‘Do you miss home? You’ve been away a long time.’
‘I worry, but the neighbours are so good. Don couldn’t wait to get away after losing all his birds like that,’ said Vi.
‘They weren’t pets exactly, but I knew every feather on every bird,’ said Don with a trace of bitterness.
‘No news or any idea where they went?’ asked Jennifer.
‘Not really. It’s not uncommon for private breeders to get raided. There’ve been some scandals over the years with raids from statutory official bodies taking birds as well as thieves striking. I suppose there are bad eggs in every organisation.’ He tried to smile at his pun.